All the simple things
untitled {drabbles compilation}
Baekhyun likes Chanyeol and Baekhyun is contented with the way things are right now. It's all good. All simple.
He isn't with Chanyeol, but it's good when he sees Chanyeol's back and when he sees his teeth rich smile shining from where he stands. It's good when Chanyeol merely greets him 'Yo!' when he passes by the hallway and they intersect. He likes it when Chanyeol holds his hand without reason when they're group mates. He likes it the way Chanyeol regards him so delicately and turns his full attention to him when he speaks. Baekhyun likes it. He likes Chanyeol. He likes it that Chanyeol's like that.
But Baekhyun's good with never being with Chanyeol. He just likes him anyway, or so he thinks. He might not even care if Chanyeol likes him back. He will just like it.
Besides, Baekhyun thinks that he's spent his 21 years of life living without Chanyeol. So what would make it actually better if they somehow end up together when he's contented with Chanyeol's mere presence anyway?
But Baekhyun thinks that maybe it's better when Chanyeol tells him exuberantly one day that the tall guy feels the same. But not back because Baekhyun never intends to be the first to tell the taller. Only they end up somehow together after Baekhyun looks up at Chanyeol and smiles. So maybe Baekhyun was the one who ended up saying it back, after all.
Baekhyun still thinks though that he's contented with the way things are right now. Only better.
But Baekhyun also wishes that he has the strong mirth and hatred that Luhan possesses toward Sehun. Baekhyun is envious of their couple fights and of how he sees Sehun crying whenever Luhan doesn't talk to him. No, Baekhyun's not sadistic but Baekhyun thinks that he just can't not talk to Chanyeol, let alone fight with him. It's not that he's holding his anger back either because he's not and Chanyeol doesn't feel like he's holding his anger back too. He doesn't even know if their relationship is too perfect. All too perfect. Although, maybe not. But point of the matter is that Baekhyun doesn't have too strong feelings and he would wish just to have too strong feelings for Chanyeol like Luhan possesses toward Sehun.
It's better when Chanyeol is now with Baekhyun and Baekhyun is really easy to make happy. It's better when Chanyeol buys him ice cream. It's better when Chanyeol holds his hand affectionately now. He feels bliss when they kiss and when their foreheads and noses bump against each other when Chanyeol stoops down low to his level. He feels bliss when they run in the rain after school because they could care less about opening their umbrellas. As long as they're together, he thinks it's better. He likes Chanyeol better now. He likes it so much better that Chanyeol's like that.
The strong feelings come an hour too late when Baekhyun finds himself frantically running across the expanse of a hospital.
He was supposed to meet with Chanyeol for their umpteenth date. He was supposed to meet the best thing that ever happened in his life with his teeth rich shining smile. He was.
But on the hospital bed he's welcomed by an unconscious body, all complete, all pale and lifeless. They say it's a concussion from a collision. They say it's the drunk driver who first hit and Baekhyun could care less to blame.
Baekhyun loves Chanyeol and Chanyeol loves Baekhyun but Chanyeol is gone and Baekhyun is still contented with the way things are right now. He'll never feel his best, though. Things are never going to be simple again—not with Chanyeol's missing presence, not without Chanyeol's shining smile, and not without Chanyeol.
But Baekhyun has a very strong will to live longer for Chanyeol for all the simple things that will never ever be just simple again.
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