VI
BY MYSELF ♣ I say my love ,send away my love
Chen yanked her quite harshly on a bench in a park nearby the hospital after they had accompanied Ji Hae back to her room safely. There was that uncomfortable silence then, but Sooyeon knew that she was in trouble : Chen was only holding back his anger because his little sister was there and was really fond of his now ex-girlfriend. Now that they were here with no one around, he could yell at her without anyone to interrupt. But even so, she cannot help but think that it was the first time since months that she was just with him and face to face. Just the two of them. Surprisingly, she found her heart beat in an fast speed, the same way it does since a few years ago. No matter how she tried to convince herself that she hated him, her heart seems like it won’t let him go even though he hurt her.
She watched him as he paced back and forth while messing his hair in frustration. Am I irritating him that much ? Fighting against her heart which yelled her to stay in place, she stood up after a few minutes of silence. She didn’t see what’s the point of staying if they didn’t have anything to say to each other anymore, as he had said it in the past. Plus, it seemed like just the sight of her set him off.
« Stay away from them. » he said suddenly as he saw that she started to turn around to leave. She turned to face him again and raised her eyebrow in confusion. « W-what ? ». He didn’t like to repeat himself and she remembered it immediately as she saw the pissed expression he wore. « Don’t ever approach my family anymore. Stay away from them and get out from our life. You’ve done enough already. » he said coldly, without an ounce of hesitation.
Her eyes widened at how harsh his words was. They stabbed her already broken heart mercilessly once again and her eyes welled with tears once again, but she fought to hold them in. At first she was deeply hurt but then, anger shot though her. How the hell is their split related to her relationship with his family member with whom she‘s close with ? « Who do you think you are ? » she muttered under her breath, but loud enough for the both of them to hear it. He stopped in his track but didn’t bother to turn around. Still, she knew he was all ears. « Who do you think you are to tell me what to do or not ? Why are you always around to stab my wound all over again ? Didn’t you humiliated me enough ? Didn’t you hurt me enough ? » she paused as the tears she held in until now started flowing down like a waterfall. « You know what ? I admit my defeat in this game Chen. My heart ache like crazy in here but still, do you have to continue to poke at my wounds ? Is it funny seeing me broken or isn’t it enough ? What do you want Jong Dae ? Do I need to beg you on my knees for you to stop shattering me more and more as days goes on ? I don’t know what happened which caused you to despise so much and I don’t even want to know whatever is the reason anymore. » as of now, she was a crying mess and was thankful that this didn’t happen at school.
« I’m sorry… » she whispered. Chen turned around this time with wide eyes, not understanding why she was apologizing all of a sudden. « Sorry for being so clingy, so irritating, so annoying. I’m sorry for wasting three precious year of your life with me. I imagine that it must have been hard on you trying to pretend to be in love with a girl like me. Not only am I sorry for you but also for that naïve girl that really believed that someone like you would really be in love with someone worthless like Jung Soo Yeon. But thanks to you, I learnt what love was and even though it may be fake, thank you for making me happy during those short moments. Thanks to you, I now know what my mistakes was and won’t repeat them again. »
Soo Yeon took a deep breath before stepping backward. « I’ll walk out of your life but I’m unable to promise you that I’ll be able to move on right away. Still, I’m letting you go because even if it hurts, I know that if you don‘t have any feelings for me, our relationship won‘t go anywhere anyway so I won‘t be selfish and let you suffer more. »
One two three.
She continued to step backward, away from him. Her tears stopped flowing but she guessed that her face has been messed in the process.
« Do you remember what you said the day of my father’s first death anniversary when we found my mother sulking ? ‘Only time can heal her wound’. I believe that mine would heal too with time. I’ll forget all the memories we shared together, I’ll forget about my feelings, about you. Just like you do. »
This time, she turned around and walked out of his sight.
Even if you're far away, i hope that you'll be happy
My love, deeply within my heart...
★彡 I'M BACK !
So err yeah... my holidays were really chaotics... my car got robbed and everything is gone T^T
I'm quite depressed since I lost a lot of things but well... I guess it's life. Actually, during my
vacations, I wrote three whole chapters but left them in my luggage case which was in the
car the night that someone broke in my car so I'll have to rewrite everything *sigh* I'm so unlucky T.T
As you can see, the chapter is really lame. I didn't manage to convey Sooyeon's feelings really
well. I believe I did better in the original chapter which is lost. I've to admit, after losing them
I lost a lot of motivation x.x Anyway, I hope it's still okay... comments are welcommed ^^
ps : the chapter hasn't been proof reading because I'm a lazy girl... will do it asap hopefully~ 彡★
I had the time to update the 5th chapter of « By Myself » finally ! Check it out ! :)
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