Curtiana: I stood by the doorway of my bedroom, barely even getting the thought of what happened last night at the school clinic. It was an impromptu episode of my, what you call, what-the- life, honestly.  I would have never supposed that I have a sibling who ever exists somewhere in this world. It is probably because, the most supreme talk that we ever had in my twenty years of existence were the hi’s and hellos we exchanged when we’ve seen each other in the past, and seriously, I can even state a simple ‘bow’ as our greatest appreciation about each other’s existence. Well, that belief of mine was infused in me 'til yesterday’s incident happened. We were never close, obviously, and the last time I’ve seen him was, perhaps, freaking eight to ten years ago. He changed so much and that’s probably why I haven’t noticed him as him when I first saw him after years.

“Hey lady,” a voice interrupted my hateful thoughts. I looked towards the other side of the hallway and found Leo with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes you, fat lady.” He continued as he pointed my face with his little finger.

I immediately raised an eyebrow then retorted, “Did you just call me ‘fat’?” I said emphasizing the last word. The last person who ever called me fat almost spent his whole life bedridden.

He hurriedly stomped his way closer to where I am with his eyes, sending invisible lasers to mine. When he reached a somewhat close-enough-space for him to put his hands on his hips, he stopped and scrunched his face.

“My brother suffered muscle pains because you’re so heavy.” Then he stuck his tongue out. “Now he doesn’t want to come to the zoo with me.” He said and made a ‘humph’ sound. Right, it is Saturday today which means no school to get irritated with.

He then rolled his eyes away from me and rushed to wherever his feet would take him. I heard a loud slamming door sound after he disappeared as he turned the corner at the end of the hallway.

So all the pointing, laser eye stares and humph are all about him not getting to go to the zoo? Aigoo, kids these days. I thought it is a must in Korean culture that kids must respect elders no matter they have as long as someone’s older from someone?

Well, I, too, feel sorry for the giant nutshell. This statement doesn’t mean anything like I am admitting that I am a heavy fat lady, but I have nothing to do with him and here I am causing trouble. I sometimes feel uncomfortable too for suddenly appearing in their house without their knowledge. The fact that I owe a lot from them really makes me uncomfortable especially when I cause them distresses like this.

I noticed a sudden movement from my right, which is from the giant nutshell’s room door being opened. He’s massaging his nape when he appeared from the inside of the room. Somewhere between my thoughts, I could find words to describe him as a ‘good-looking-man’ although current time says it surely is an early hour or specifically should I say he looks good right after waking up. I could see strangely ruled hair-split patterns which probably resulted from a long sleep on a pillow. It oddly looked fine to me though. When he noticed me, he stopped moving his hands but remained holding his nape. And as my inner sarcasm whispers, his usual cold stares really suit the cold morning. Well, it’s not like those stares could kill me so why bother give a thought about it? Even though he’s like this, I should really show gratitude and apologize for bringing trouble as well.

“I’m really-” I tried to start a conversation but my ringing phone interrupted my speaking.

Dad.

It says on the screen.

I feel an unwanted change in my mood. I hope that he didn’t make this call so early. I’m not ready to talk to him yet, how can he not understand that.

I looked up once to see if the giant nutshell moved from his place, it must have been awkward seeing me contemplating about the call. ‘Answer.your.phone.’ he mouthed right after we met visions.

I widened my eyes and pointed my phone, ‘answer.it.’ he mouthed once more.

I stared at the screen as the Dad kept flashing in synch with the ringing.

I don’t know why but having someone persuading me to answer the phone gave me a rush feeling of urge. I find myself considering the thought of the things we could talk about. But why can’t I bring myself to press the answer button and my mind kept telling me to reject it.

It took me moments to contemplate, in which resulted to me, choosing the latter; I ended up pressing the reject button with a trembling finger. 

“You brat” he simply said and walked passed me, “you should fix your issues with your father.”

Not knowing why, I chose to remain silent.

I saw him stop before turning the corner towards the staircase, “Why are you not speaking?!” he raised his voice.

Of course it gave me shock, “W-what are you getting hyped-up with?” Seriously, what’s wrong with this guy?

I can see from his face that he is trying to contain the “feeling” (whatever it is) inside him, but I can obviously see as well that whatever it is, it’s winning him over. He rushed towards me and clenched jaw came obvious to my vision. He gripped my arm firmly which made me react in pain.

“You fix whatever you have with your father,” he said between gritted teeth, “and freaking get out of our lives.”

I stared at him with wide eyes with a fact that for all those moments I felt nothing, but eventually few emotions came up after few clock ticks. I lowered my head with a strange feeling of loss and my lips curled in a slight smile. The feeling like there’s a living thing in you who wants to get out of your body crazily troubled my stance in this situation.

“And you’re smiling?” Surprised, he asked.

 “I’m sorry.” I said in a straight voice, “I can’t help it.”

 “Stupid people like you are those I hate the most.” He forcefully let go of my arm and the feeling of sudden weightlessness rushed up to my brain.

This giant nutshell’s cold comments and hurtful words must not shake me. Compared to all the things I’ve been through, this is nothing but .

Stupid.

That word. I’m so used to hearing that incredible word. I’ve been labeled with that many times when I was young. They said girls are stupid. They said girls are useless. They said girls can’t do anything. That’s why they left dumped me alone. Since then, I tried hard, really hard to the extent I don’t care about myself anymore. All these years, I have lived to prove to them that they’ve challenged the wrong person.

“Stop, you .” I spoke before realizing the thought of my words. He stopped walking away but did not face me.

“Midterms are coming in a two weeks.” I continued.

Probably, I have caught his interest and he faced me with furious eyes.

With the tears I’ve been trying to stop from flowing, I smiled and fearlessly said, “Let’s see who’ll get the first spot.”