Siwon POV

I was the dumbest person alive that was I understood clearly. I broke up with someone I wished to spend the rest of my life with, I released my anger to anyone although I knew I was just simply mad with myself. I felt like a crap. I felt like I wanted to give up.

I was a fool. I was a fool to think that all this time I protected Kyuhyun’s dream if all I did was hurting him. Jungmo told me everything, he told me how much Kyuhyun suffered because of me.

I choked for the harsh truth, I was never someone who would cry. But this time, sitting down alone in my own apartment in the darkness, I couldn’t help but to cry over my love. I felt weak.

I am an actor, a singer, a model, somebody’s son, somebody’s brother, anything everyone could address me, but now, I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I am.

This was not a drama where I played as the main hero who would sacrifice anything to make him pursue his dream, make him thinking of me as a badass who didn’t even love him from the first place.

He deserved to know.

And if after he acknowledging that, it would be his choice to choose to stay with me or not. If he still could forgive me, if he still accepted me,

If he still loved me.

If only I woud just listened to my heart, just taken one second to listen to my heart, not my logic, everything would have been different. maybe Kyuhyun and I would try to figure this out somehow, maybe he would still by my side.

Part of Siwon justwanted to lean on the bed and put hishead between his knees. He could even close his eyes, pretend everything was all right. The other part of himknew that it wouldn’t make a difference,  he couldn’t keep his eyes closed forever. “Kyuhyun…” was the only thing his lips could say.

Kyuhyun POV

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I loved him, I did, I do and I will still do. No matter he didn’t want me. No matter that he would throw me again. I just couldn’t give my heart to another man.  Changmin told me, “it’s fine to love someone who doesn’t love you back as long as he deserves it” and Siwon hyung deserved that. I’m tired of running away. I never asked him why he broke with me.

But, Yunho hyung once told me, “I got it Kyuhyunna, Siwon loves you, Siwon loves you deeply and it’s killing him. Whatever he has said, whatever he acted to cast you out, he loves you. I can see it clearly in his eyes. There must be a reason why he does that.”

I knew it, why I never asked Siwon hyung was that I was afraid. I scared to hear from his mouth that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t want me. Maybe I was a fool too, to just let him go and not fight for us. Not even asked what the reason was.

I must be looked so puzzled when Yunho hyung ruffled my hair, smiled tenderly.  “Come on, I’ll drive you to Siwon’s place.” I returned the smile to him, to Changmin, and to some of my friends there.

Siwon hyung…

I wanted to meet him.

I wanted to be enveloped with his tight embrace once more.

It didn’t matter if he didn’t want me, I would fight for it.

So, if Siwon hyung and I, in the end, were not fated, I would not regret anything, because I already did all the things I could.

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Yunho hyung went back to his own dorm after driving me to Siwon hyung’s apartment. I braced myself, I wanted to see him. Walking slowly to his room, the room was so dark. But I knew Siwon hyung was there.

I stepped in his bedroom. There he was, sitting down, lifelessly. I could even see the trace of tears on his cheeks.

I placed my hands on his shoulder, “hyung… what happened?” he didn’t react first, thus, slowly he raised his head, staring at me. “Kyuhyun…. Kyunnie… Kyunnie…” he called me as if it was a spell.

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"You're my only love," Siwon said finally.

"I know your effort, I am the only one who knows how much you give yourself to pursue your dream, to be the Cho Kyuyun people know now.”

“I should want to protect you"Siwon laughed soundlessly without any humor

"to protect you from ruining you carrier, yourself if you are being with me, at least that’s what the management told me. They forced me to tell lies, to pretend as if I don’t want you. They forced me to not make Super Junior in danger because of the rumor which would damage our image."

Kyuhyun's breath caught when Siwon kept continuing his explanation "That’s why I did all the things to hurt you. I didn’t want us to get separated like what happened to Yunho hyung and Jaejoong hyung or Hanggeng hyung and Chullie hyung.I preferred you hating me rather than not being able to see you again"

"But then, seeing you crying, being with another man…  You know,baby,it was like I had cancer.Idon't even know what's wrong with me, but I am bleeding to death slowly inside. That's what it's like,just being with anyone but me" Siwon’s voice was lifeless.

"Could I be this selfish and ask you to stay with me? I would try to do anything to make you keep singing. But just don’t leave."
 

Siwon’s hand reached out, trailed his fingers lightly through Kyu’s dark brownhair, fingertips brushing hischeek. "I love you, Cho Kyuhyun.I don’t want anyone but you"

Kyuhyun's voice had sunk to a whisper. "I don't want anyone but you, either."

They sat down next to each other in a complete silence. There was nothing they hid anymore. There was nothing they didn’t know one another.

Kyuhyun turned his head to his side, staring at Siwon’s face who which was perfect as ever. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t understand how Siwon could get through all these things.

He didn’t know that Siwon took the burden himself, got all the threatened from their management yet he still thought of him.

Siwon squeezed Kyuhyun’s arm. “we would figure this out…” he said.

Siwon laced his fingers through Kyuhyun’s. "We better sleep now, it’s getting late. I’ll take you to the dorm tomorrow morning. Good night," He whispered. With their hands clasped,Kyuhun fell asleep beside him in the dark.
 

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Tomorrow would be a long day for them, for they decided to tell their fellow members before stand against their management.

Maybe, they would leave Super Junior.

Maybe they would be scolded by their friends.

Maybe everyone would hate them.

But that would be tomorrow.

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“So, are you sure about this Teuki hyung?” Sungmin asked.

“Yes, this is the only thing we could do…” the leader answered. He sighed and looked his dongsaeng in their eyes, asking whether all of them agreed or not with the final decision they made.

“You do this for all of us Teuki, no need to regret things. Let’s just hope this will turn good. And if it is not, we would still survive.” Heechul Teukie’s back gently.

“Yes hyung, you are a great leader.” The others told him.

‘Siwonnie, Kyuhyunnie, we are family... Remember that…’ they thought.

*annyeong readers!!! So maybe this will just have one more chapter left. Pls do look forward.. kekekekeke^^*