Siwon POV

“Let’s break up,Siwon  hyung.” he said that. I know sooner or later he would say that. But why I still couldn’t accept it if he was so easily said those damn words not minding at us.

Wrong! It was wrong. I was the one who pulled the trigger, I was the one who made him saying that. Why should I regret?

Do you know that I’m dying here, Cho Kyuhyun? I’m dying here because of this feeling I have for you.

I couldn’t find a word to answer, nor like I wanted to.I would let you do whatever you thought of me, whatever you assumed what I wanted you to do.

Do you know Kyu? That to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed. I am talking about us Kyu.

We never have something from the start, what we do have is that the very false beginning.

Why it should be you.

And why it should be me.

Maybe you are thinking now how swiftly I dismiss our love. But let me be the one you can blame for.

I could feel that maybe in the end you will end up by hating me.

And maybe I will too, since I know love and hatred is like twins, they can live side by side.

I don’t understand myself anymore. I don’t understand what I am doing any longer.

But at that very moment when you asked to break up,

I could see the blaze of hurt and an excruciating pain in your eyes, those which were used to be sparkling beautifully.

Then I realized, I hurt you so much.

I knew it, but I didn’t know if I still could feel the same hurt you’ve been bearing.

This insanity of me, I thought I was doing the right thing, although it meant I had to hurt you so much to let go. But then, I didn’t even know what was right or what was wrong.

“If you say so…” I answered him coldly.

One thing I understand, love will turn your world upside down and love will turn you into a complete liar.

Thus, who can say which one is true? And which one is lie?

Kyuhyun POV

For a moment Ithought  might fallIfelt as if my heart had been torn away, and Istared at Siwonin blank astonishment

what did he feel, did he feel nothing? I didn't think Icould bear it if he felt nothing."

How easy you said that hyung? Like letting me go is just something you can do that without even thinking.

No concern in your tone.

No more love in your words.

I would like to run away, from you from members, even from the world now. But I couldn’t do that, could I? 

So, all I can do just to turn myself from you and walk away to the dorm.

I glanced and looked up at the night sky, staring dry-eyed at the darkness above me.

That’s when I realized it, no matter how painful I was feeling this moment, I wouldn’t cry. I couldn’t cry.

Because,

What was the point in crying when I had no one to comfort me?

When I had nothing to hold onto?

And what was even worse, when I fully knew that I couldn’t even comfort myself.

Did you have any idea how you were meaningful for me? While I was meaningless for you, hyung? Kyu thought, slowly walking and entered his own room, locking it to give him sometime alone that he knew he needed the most.

Siwon POV

I heard a footstep just to find Leeteuk hyung standing next to my car. I wasn’t able to drive to my own apartment or to move an inch after he left me.

Minutes passed, I didn’t feel like talking to him.

Anger, disappointment, sadness, all those feelings were mixed up. Not a single word could describe it.

“I am sure you have reasons for doing this to him” Leeteuk hyung said calmly. I gave him a faint smile, ‘do reasons matter when there is nothing can be done?’

“It’s not like you weren’t in love with him, Siwon. Why don’t you tell him what is running on your mind better than leading him with one side play like this?”

Telling Kyu? I am not even sure what I have to tell him.

*short update, kekekekeke, well, readers, have you ever experienced this kind of feeling? Try to make it stays but have to let it go. #WhatAmITalkingAbout???*