Junhyung’s POV

“I’m a lousy Daddy, aren’t I?” I asked, looking at Seungho’s photo.

“Not even two months of being a father to her, I left her nine times.” I said.

“We’re going back two days later.” Doojoon said from behind.

“I know, but I miss her.” I unconsciously pouted.

“Gosh~” He laughed, squeezing my shoulder.

“I know, I know. Just laugh at me.” I rolled my eyes.

“No, no~ You know Jun, it’s nice seeing you so loving.” He said, handing me a can of Coke, but I had no mood for it.

“Not drinking!?” He asked with astonishment.

I shook my head.

“Wah Hana~~ Look at what you have done to your Daddy~” He said.

“I miss her, alright! I really, really do.” I said.

“How did you cope with missing Seungho?” He asked.

“Well.. Seungho and I, we both are busy, we understand each other’s job. But Hana, she is just a kid. She needs someone with her as she grows up, and that someone is me, her Dad. It hasn’t even been two months since I am a father to her, and look! This is the ninth time I am away from her.” I sighed.

“Hana understands, Junhyung ah.” He comforted me.

“That is exactly the problem, Doojoon!” I said.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“The problem is Hana understands!” I explained.

“And so, shouldn’t you be happy?” He asked.

“Honestly, I rather she kick up a fuss then smile at me as she say goodbye to me at the airport and then turn around and sulk. The problem with this girl is that she understands what her Daddy’s job’s requires him to do, therefore she keeps quiet about it, and it is totally unhealthy!” I said.

“You’re confused, aren’t you? On one hand you want her to understand from your point of view, on another hand you worry when she is too understanding.” Doojoon said as he put his arm over my shoulder.

“EXACTLY!” I yelled.

“I just don’t want to become the kind of parent who just keeps giving his child material stuff, because I know that is a painful way to grow up. We all know it, don’t we? We don’t want stuff from our parents, we just want their time and attention, that’s all.” I said.

“I got it, mate. I totally get it. But, instead of wanting to make use of time that you do not have, make use of the time you actually have.” He said.

I looked at him, confused.

“I mean, unless you quit your job as a celebrity and go out to an office to work a 9-5 job, admit it, you would never have enough time to be with her, right?” He said.

I nodded.

“Would you give up being a rapper and go be an office boy?” He asked.

“I…” As much as I wanted to say yes, my heart and brain is screaming no.

“I know, you wouldn’t. Or maybe you would, but not at this point of time. And because you wouldn’t, you probably wouldn’t have the time you desire to spend with her. But that doesn’t mean you fail totally. You still have time, although it is very little, but make full use of it. Even if you have one hour, take her for a meal, send her to and fro school daily. Those twenty minutes or so in the car alone with her, many memorable conversations can be made. At night, read her a book before she sleeps, or go through her homework with her. Those are time spent too, no? You don’t have to spend one free week with her just to be spending time with her, it’s not like that.” He said.

I looked at him, giggling a little.

“What?” He asked, slightly annoyed.

“You’re actually married with three kids, right? You just kept it from us or something?” I laughed.

“I am not!” He smacked my shoulder.

“I got it, I got it. I guess I worried too much and ended up wasting time, not doing what I should be doing.” I said, opening the can of Coke.

“Maybe you should start spending lesser time with that.” He said, pointing at the can of Coke.

“What? Coke? NO!” I hugged my can of Coke protectively.

“Addict.” He mumbled as he threw himself onto the bed.

***

I looked at my watch, it was 4.30PM. We just touched down Korea an hour ago and are having our meal now.

“I got to go.” I said, shoving one more piece of meat into my mouth.

“Where are you going to?” My manager hyung asked.

“Going to pick Hana from school.” I said.

“What time does Hana finish her class?” Kikwang asked.

“About 5.15PM or something.” I said.

“It’s 4.30PM only hyung. You barely ate anything.” Dongwoon said.

“I know, I know. But the thing is, I have not been to her school before so I need some time to hunt for it, and besides, she doesn’t know I am going to pick her, so she would probably just walk off after school. I have to be there earlier, right?” I said.

“Haha don’t get lost alright?” Doojoon said.

“I wouldn’t. See you guys.” I said as I grabbed my coat.

“Bring her to the studio some day! We miss her!” Yoseob shouted.

“No problem. Bye!” I waved as I ran off.

I had a pretty hard time locating her school, but it was my fault because I never listened to Seungho when he was telling me about it, neither did I once actually bothered to come here just to take a look.

When I finally found her school, I was thankful to be ten minutes early. I sat in the car, closing my eyes to relax for a bit. I almost fell asleep but I just happened to wake up.

“Oh gosh Yong Junhyung. How dare you fall asleep?!” I scolded myself as I slapped myself awake.

I looked at the time, it was 5.15PM. I got out of my car and leaned against it as I stared at the school. I looked around and saw mothers talking amongst themselves. How awkward is it to be the only man standing here, but that did not matter.

In about ten minutes, groups of kids started running out, crashing into the loving arms of their mothers. It was so noisy and messy. I kept looking out for a familiar face, but I couldn’t spot her. She attended school today, I am pretty sure.

It was only five minutes of waiting but I got pretty impatient already. Not impatient at the fact she is taking too long, but impatient because I am worried. Did something happen? But then again, is there more than one gate?

“Erm… excuse me.” I tapped on one of the woman’s shoulder.

“Yes? May I help you?” She asked as she carried her son’s bag.

“Sorry, but is there more than one gate here? I mean, is this the only gate of this school?” I asked.

She looked at me weirdly. I know what she is thinking. I am some kidnapper or what.

“No no, don’t get me wrong. I am not kidnapping kids or what. I am actually here to pick my daughter, but this is my first time here, so I really am unsure. I mean, I have been waiting for ten minutes and most of the kids should be out already, but I still don’t see her.” I said.

“Oh. Erm.. Yea, there is more than one gate.” She said.

Although she still seemed suspicious, she guided me anyway.

“Thank you so much. So I just walk straight and turn right?” I asked.

“Yea, you’ll see another smaller gate.” She said.

“Alright, thanks.” I said as I headed over.

I walked over as quickly as possible and smiled to myself when I saw Hana, but she did not look too happy. I almost called out to her, until I saw a group of boys approaching her. They seem a little older.

I clenched my fists as I witness them push her from the back and then make faces at her as she walked. She tried to walk away from them, but they kept surrounding them.

“So, Hana, going home alone, again?” One of the boys asked while the other laughed.

“Your mom is not coming to pick you? Oh no, I should ask, do you even have a mother!?” Another said as the rest laughed louder.

Hana glared at them, and then stomped off, but they caught up quickly.

Is this what Hana have been experiencing every day?

“How about that father of yours? Or, fathers?” One boy said, emphasizing on the word ‘fathers’.

“Move away.” Hana yelled, pushing them away.

“Why should we?” They laughed.

I couldn’t stand looking anymore. I ran towards Hana, making my presence known.

“Da.. Daddy?” She looked at me, surprised.

“Hi, sweetheart.” I said, giving her a light peck on her forehead before pulling her behind me.

The boys were shocked at my sudden appearance, they tried to run off but I stopped them.

“Wait up, wait up.” I said, blocking their way.

“On my way here, I kind of overheard something about Hana not having a mother.” I said.

“Shall I clear your confusion, boys?” I asked, bending down to their level.

“Wh.. What?” One of them stuttered.

“Hana have a father, and a mother. And both of them happen to be me. I am Hana’s father, as well as mother. I know it sounds bizarre and too much for your little brain to take. You can picture it as I have split personality or something.” I said.

“How can you be a mother when you are not a woman!?” One shouted.

“One of the many definitions of a mother is someone who brings up a child with care and affection, in another words, it’s called ‘the art of mothering’. You don’t get it, don’t bother to think so much. Just know that I do the cooking and everything else your mom does at home, as well as go out and work and bring the money back like how your father does. So that makes me both Hana’s father and mother at the same time. I know, I am great, don’t have to look so stunned.” I smiled, and then looked down at Hana who was giggling.

“You’re Hana’s other father? My mom says that you’re a bad example of how a human should be! A man cannot be with a man! You’re a freak!” One of the kid yell as he pointed at me.

I had to admit I was taken aback by his statement, and no doubt, very hurt. I am use to having adults point fingers as their sneer at me for my ual preferences, but to hear it from a kid, it just hurt so much more.

I snapped out when I felt Hana let go of my hand and then the next thing I knew, she had pushed the boy away, causing him to fall backwards.

“MY DADDY IS NOT A FREAK! HE IS THE BEST DADDY I COULD EVER ASK FOR! DON’T YOU DARE CALL HIM A FREAK!” She shouted, standing in front of me, as thou trying to protect me.

“A man should like a girl, not a man! You have two fathers, you’re a freak too!” Another boy yell back.

That statement offended me.

“Hey!” I caught the boy by his arm.

“I don’t know how your mother brainwash you or maybe feed you some weird stuff to make you talk the way you do. Yes, I am a freak, alright? I like guys and I just happen to be this way. But my ual preference does not define Hana. I am a freak but it has nothing got to do with her. Call her a freak one more time and I wouldn’t hesitate to break your neck.” I warned him.

I felt a hard smack on the back of my head. I turned around to find a middle age woman glaring at me. Did she just hit me with her handbag?

“I heard you threaten my son! How dare you!?” She yelled into my face.

“Oh, so you’re his mother. No wonder~” I smirked.

“What do you mean by that!?” She screamed.

“Just by looking at you, I totally understood why your son turned out this way. Pity, is all I could say.” I said.

She was about to swing her handbag into my face again but I caught her hand this time.

“Look here, ahjumma. I don’t really care how you educate your son because honestly I give no even if he turns out to be a swindler when he grows old. But I’ll give every single if he insults my daughter.” I stared hard at her.

“If you decide to take that path, you should have anticipated such remarks, right? You don’t expect everyone to be like your fans to accept you? Come on, wake up kid, you know reality is not like that.” She poked my forehead.

“DON’T DO THAT TO MY DADDY!” Hana yelled, pushing the woman with her little palms.

“SO WHAT IF MY DADDY LIKES ANOTHER MAN!? MY DADDY AND APPA ARE BOTH IN LOVE! YOU DON’T KNOW BECAUSE YOU DON’T SEE IT! JUST BECAUSE THEY DON’T FOLLOW WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO DOESN’T MAKE THEM DIFFERENT! IT IS STILL LOVE! THEY ARE STILL MY DADDY AND APPA!” Hana yelled, tears pouring down her cheeks.

The woman, as well as myself was left speechless.

“Daddy, let’s go.” Hana muttered as she grabbed my hand, pulling me along.

“Sweetie..” I called out.

But she kept walking.

“Sweetie, stop.” I said, but got ignored.

“Sweetie, the car is over there.” I said, pointing to the back.

She stopped and looked at me with teary eyes, and then dragged me in the other direction. As soon as we arrived, she let go of my hand and climbed onto the passenger seat, shutting the door in my face.

I got into the driver’s seat, but did not start the car.

“Hana ah~” I called out.

She remained silent as her tears dripped all over her palms.

“Hana, have you.. Ever pictured your family? I mean, before you came to Appa and I, have you ever pictured of how your family would be?” I asked.

She looked at me, and then nodded.

“Then when you found out that instead of a man and a woman that would be your parents, it would be instead us, two men, were you disappointed?” I asked.

She bit her lower lip, looking down.

“It’s alright, Hana. It’s really alright. You can just say, I am fine.” I said, patting her head.

She nodded.

“I wasn’t disappointed. I just found it weird.” She said with a slight pout, causing me to laugh.

“Hana, I am so sorry. I never knew what you had to go through in school. I never knew that I… my choice… or whatever, would affect you in such a way. I am sorry it was us who adopted you and not some normal family.” I said.

“But we’re a normal family, aren’t we?” She asked.

“What?” I asked.

“We’re normal, aren’t we? Seungho Appa and you are a couple while I am the child. I know neither of you gave birth to me. I also know that normally it would be a man and a woman as parents. But you and Appa loves me and each other the same way a man and a woman would, right?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Then isn’t that normal already?” She asked innocently.

I don’t know if she is saying this to comfort me or in her eyes things are really just like that, but that was comforting. I don’t know when she grows up and sees things differently would she still think this way, but as of now, it felt so good.

“Thank you, Hana. Thank you.” I said, hugging her tight as I cried softly.

“Daddy, are you crwying?” She asked, patting the back of my head lightly.

“Yes, Hana. I am crying.” I admitted.

“Did Hana say something wrong? Hana is sorwwy~” She said.

“No no. Hana said nothing wrong. Hana said something really beautiful that made Daddy very touched. Daddy is crying because Daddy is touched and not upset with Hana or anything like that.” I said.

“Daddy don’t crwy~” She cupped my cheeks, pressing a peck on my lips.

I forced a smile as I wiped my tears.

“Sorry. This is so embarrassing.” I mumbled, looking away.

“Daddy can always cry with Hana is around! Hana will hug you! Like this!” She said, jumping into my embrace, hugging me tight.

“Ughh~” I groaned at the sudden impact.

I pushed the seat back so she could sit comfortably on my lap.

“Hana ah, I know I have not been spending a lot of time with you. I know I have been flying around a lot. I also know that you understand, but you’re also unhappy, right?” I asked.

She pouted and nodded.

“I mwiss Daddy.” She said.

“Daddy misses Hana too. I know you’re an understanding kid, but that’s not how I want you to be. I want Hana to be able to express herself in front of me, so I would know when Hana is sad or angry or happy. Daddy is a little slow and dumb, therefore if you let me find out on my own, you may be too angry to even talk to Daddy. So if you’re unhappy, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell Daddy about it, cry about it or just throw a tantrum. Even if Daddy is not physically here, you can call Daddy any time.” I said.

“I wish I could see Daddy more often.” She said with a slight pout.

“Daddy wishes to see Hana more often too. I cannot promise you anything, but we’ll make do with whatever time we have, okay? From now on, I’ll send you to school and pick you up after school. If Daddy is a little bit late or anything, forgive Daddy, alright? And if anyone in school bullies you, tell Daddy. Don’t keep it to yourself.” I said.

She nodded.

“And if people bullies Daddy too, Daddy have to tell Hana. Hana will punch him or her!” She said, accidently punching me in my eye with her fist.

“Aigoo~” I groaned.

“DADDY SORWWY!!!” She yelled, rubbing my eye.

“It’s okay, it’s okay! Haha!” I hugged her tight.

“Does it hurt?” She asked.

“No.” I smiled.

“I mean, this.” She said, pressing down onto the back of my head, the part I got whacked by that handbag.

I yelped in pain.

“It does.” I pouted.

She pushed my head down and gave me a kiss on the back of my head.

“Better?” She smiled.

“Gosh, worked like magic!” I laughed as I put her back onto the passenger seat, buckling her up.

“Shall we go?” I asked.

“Where?” She asked.

“We’ll go get your stuff from grandma’s place and then we’ll go on a date!” I said.

“Date?” She asked.

“Yea! It’ll be a Daddy-Hana date!” I smiled.

“Okay!” She beamed.

“LET’S GO!!” We yelled in unison as I started the engine.

Hana ah, thank you so much for your acceptance. You don’t know how those innocent words of yours meant to me. Seungho is right, you’re not just a daughter we adopted. You’re a gift. You’re an angel. You’re here to pull us through our toughest times.