The next day at noon, I headed over to the practice room. I heard Key’s loud laugh, and confidently entered. When they all looked at me as I walked in, I pretended to not know anything.

“Oh! I’m so sorry... I didn’t know anyone was here...” I said, as flustered as I could.

“It’s okay! You should stay! We were just taking a break anyway.” Key said, giving me a smile that only I would understand.

“Is that okay?” I asked the rest of the members. They all nodded except for Taemin, who was eating bread quietly. He looked so vulnerable. I automatically felt bad.

I sat next to Key and Minho offered me some food, I declined, and he looked somewhat sad. 

“How have you been?” I asked them, looking at Taemin, who still wouldn’t look up from his bread.

“Good, good... Just busy, as always.” Jonghyun replied, his mouth half full.

“That’s always good!” I said, trying to fill the awkwardness. No one was speaking.

After a long pause, Key finally broke the silence. I was grateful of him. “I know! Let’s play truth or dare!”

Taemin finally looked up, but at Key. He shook his head. The rest of the members agreed quickly though, so we began. I was happy; it was a good way to make Taemin talk.

“Okay, I’ll ask someone first. Minho: truth or dare?” Key asked. Minho chose dare.

“I dare you to...” Key looked at Minho then at me. I shook my head at him.

“I dare you to do some aegyo.” Key said, sighing. Minho did his aegyo while Jonghyun joked about how his fingers were curling in. Taemin still looked bored.

“Taemin: truth or dare?” Minho asked. Taemin looked at Minho, angry.

“I said I didn’t want to play.” He finally spoke.

“Come on, Taemin. It’s only truth or dare.” Minho prodded.

“Aish... whatever, you pick.” Taemin said, waving him off. Minho chose truth, but he didn’t know what to ask, so Key chimed in.

“Why won’t you speak anymore?”

Taemin just looked at me sharply and then looked back at Key. So I was the reason he wasn’t speaking.

“Taemin...” I started, but he just looked away.

“I have a good idea, let’s play 7 minutes in the practice room. Let’s start with Raina and Taemin! Okay, bye!” Key said, leaving the room quickly with the rest of the members.

“Key...! Where are you-” But he just shut the door before I could finish.

“I guess they want us to talk...” I said to Taemin, who still wouldn’t look at me. “Why are you like this?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He responded, plainly.

“Yes, it does. To me it does. I don’t like seeing you like this.” I said, sincerely. It really did make me sad, seeing him like this. “It really matters.”

“Why?” He said. He sounded like a sad puppy.

“You know why.” It was because I love him. I didn’t want to have to say it again.

“No.”

“Yes, I told you before.”

“I don’t remember.” He said.

I just sighed. “Do you want me to say it, that badly? Fine. I love you.”

He finally looked at me and said, “Then why did you say all of that last time we spoke?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt from somebody else saying it. I think if someone is going to tell you, it has to be me, because I care about you and I want you to be happy and okay.” I said, shyly.

“Is it really true though? Everything you said?” He said. He started to remind me of the old Taemin. I smiled a little.

“Yeah... Sorry... We miss the real you, oppa. Not this you.” 

He just nodded. “But how do I... What do I...” He stuttered.

“Huh?”

“I guess you’re right. I just don’t know what to do now...” He said, looking at his hands.

“Well, do you want to talk about why you’re upset?”

“I just... I’ve always wanted to be manlier ... and I was reading some fan’s comments a while ago, and they said they wanted to see me manly too ... but instead of being manly, I guess I became over confident and self absorbed. I never really realized I was being like this because the fans said they liked me no matter what, but I see it now that you’ve told me ... I guess I was just too naive to realize it before ... So th...tha...thank you.” He was crying softly, with his head down, so I wouldn’t see him.

“Taemin... Don’t cry...” I said, scooting closer to him and patting him on the back.

“I’m not crying...”

“You don’t have to pretend anymore. It’s obvious you’re crying.” I said, giggling a little. He was acting so cute now, and I was happy.

“I don’t get how you still love me after everything I said to you...” He said, looking at me. I got butterflies in my stomach from just that.

“I...” I couldn’t speak. I could feel my face burning red, and he smiled at me for the first time.

We were silent for a little, just looking at each other. I kept on getting embarrassed and covering my face, but he just smiled. Suddenly, he leaned in and kissed me softly. I opened my eyes to see if it was fully happening because I couldn’t believe it. He was kissing me. He pulled away for a second and whispered, “I like you too...” then leaning in to kiss me again. He pulled away, looking a bit conflicted this time.

“But you shouldn’t be with me... I’m only going to upset you.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“No. I don’t care. How can I not be with you after this? Taemin...”

“Just think about it before making a decision. I’m not the best person to be with.”

I nodded. He was being stubborn again. I had already made my decision, of course I would be with him. After talking, we opened the door to find Key and the rest of SHINee, but they had left.