After the whole day of shooting, I hadn’t gotten to speak to Taemin once. But since I had to film individual couple scenes with each of the members, I knew he would have to put up with me at some point.

The couple shots with the other boys were pretty average. Doing it with Key was pretty awkward though, since he was like my older brother. Having him back hug me and treat me like his girlfriend was pretty awkward for both of us.

“Can I get Raina and Taemin on the set please?” I director called.

“Good luck.” Key whispered to me as I passed by.

I stood there, next to Taemin, waiting for the director to give us instructions. Shouldn’t I speak to him? I thought. But I was way too scared.

“Alright, so for this scene, you guys have to basically do what the rest of the members did. Just act like a couple and lovey dovey. Taemin: maybe kiss her on the lips or cheek or back hug her, I don’t know. Just make it look as convincing and real as you possibly can.”

What.

Did I hear correctly?

“Yes.” Taemin answered.

“Okay and Raina, just go along with it. What you’ve been doing up until now is great.”The director told me, and I just nodded.

Act like a couple with Taemin? I would have to remember to give the director a big hug of thanks after the shoot.

“Hey. Look at me.” Taemin said. “Why are you looking at the ground?”

“Ah... Sorry... I just...”

“And action!” The director said.

Taemin looked at me with a loving smile on his face, and I bit my lip and blushed, looking away. He touched my cheek with his hand, making me look at him again, and then suddenly, he leaned in and his lips touched mine. 

The director didn’t call cut, so Taemin didn’t stop. He stopped kissing me, but he kept his forehead pressed to mine and just stared at me, his arms around me.

“Cut!” The director said. Taemin automatically moved away from me and left the set to get water, as I stood there in the middle of the set, blushing and smiling my head off, like an idiot.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. I think I was as nervous as you were!” Key squealed, approaching me. “I was holding my breath the whole time!”

“That was my first kiss... I didn’t...know...what to do...” I said, still not completely able to form sentences.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh I can’t believe that just happened!”Key said, smiling.

“Stop being so excited over it. It’s just acting.” Taemin said behind Key. “And you... Do you like me or something? Stop blushing like that. So unprofessional.”

“I...”I started.

“Yah! Is that any way to treat me, or her? She’s the next big thing, and soon you’ll be dying to have her. So you better fix that attitude of yours and treat her nice.”Key said, scolding him.

“Ha.. okay.” Taemin said, rolling his eyes. “She’s American. People are gonna think, “Why is she in K-Pop if she’s not Korean?” She won’t get very far.”

That made me mad. He may be Taemin, but nobody points out my flaws like to me like that.

“Why do you think you can just put me down right in front of my face? Because you know I won’t say anything back? God, even though you’re Taemin, I really wish you hadn’t kissed me. I really wish I hadn’t met you.” I started to get teary eyed. 

“No one is ever gonna like you if they find out that you’re like this. I was your fan. WAS ... but seeing you like this, I regret wasting every second I wasted over you.”I shook my head, and exited the building, crying and stumbling over my own feet. Filming was over anyway, so I wanted to get home before anyone could catch up to me. But, I heard Key yelling my name behind me, so I turned around.

“Dongsaeng-ah... don’t cry...”

“Why ... why is he ... what is this...” I couldn’t speak. I felt really dizzy, and like I was going to throw up.

“Shhhhh... Dongsaeng. Don’t cry. And where do you think you’re going anyway?”

“Back to my dorm... Where else...?”

“You can’t go back to your dorms this late at night. It’s in a dangerous neighborhood. Come to our dorm.”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU WANT ME TO FACE TAEMIN AGAIN?”I screamed at him.

“Shhhh! It’s not like you’ll be in the same room. We have a big dorm; we take different cars. I’ll make sure he doesn’t make you upset again.”

“Ah... Fine...”

“Now stop crying. It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

“How is it gonna be okay? I love him, Key!”

“Still?”

“Yes, it’s not something I can just stop. No matter how mean he is to me, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”