After much prodding, I finally made Victoria get in the car. She is a mess. Her then heavily made up face is now filled with dirty smudges. I just sat there, looking at her, gaping to be exact. She’s still crying; seemingly devastated about something I don’t know. Her hands are balled into fits, tightly clutching the hem of her dress and if she continued doing it, she will surely rip it off. I can distinctly make out her now white knuckles and I suddenly felt the urge to massage it. Blood gushes from my forehead, but I didn’t make a move to do something about it, instead, I just sat there, looking at Victoria.

“I won the bet, remember?” The bet. I almost forgot about it. Her bringing it up at this moment raised suspicions on my mind as to where our conversation is going.

“Yes you did... I enjoyed and I’ve had fun.” I managed to give her the truth; I know I almost died back there, but it would never erase the fact that I felt so alive at the track; more alive than I’ve ever been for the past months of my life.

I’ve had fun and I enjoyed, until this.

“If that’s the case, then you need to do something for me. The consequence of the loser is to follow whatever the winner tells her to do. I won…and you have to keep your end of the bargain.” Victoria’s voice is emotionless. Her tears however, continued streaming down her dirty face. She wasn’t looking at me; instead, she casts her blank stare directly on the window and on the puddle of rain water.

“Tell me.”

A whole two minutes passed, two gruelling minutes of waiting for something I am sure she’d be saying.

Something I dread she’d say.

“Use her. Hurt her. Do anything just to hurt her sister’s feelings. Let Jessica feel what I felt after my brother died. Do anything to destroy her.” She said firmly, her knuckles white from being tightly balled in fists.

I know this is where it is heading, but it actually weighed ten times heavier after the words escaped . Her once bubbly and playful image is shattered; all I see in front of me is a sister hungry for revenge.

“Hurt her Eunyoung! I want you to play with that little brat Krystal until she suffers the consequences of her sister’s actions!” It is too selfish for her to ask me this, to let an innocent girl suffer the consequences for her sister’s mistakes. As much as I want to make it up to Vic, I don’t think I can stomach what she wants me to do.

A little part of me believes that I am still a human capable of feeling guilty. Sure I’ve had my shares of some hell inspired antics and such, but deep down inside I know I am still human. I don’t want to be robbed off of the last trace of being one.

But she’s now an important person to me; I couldn’t contain the overriding desire I suddenly have to help her.

At least I can help her.

It bubbled up to my mind, clearing all the negatives of what she wanted me to accomplish. She is, or was, just a sibling; a sibling who probably loved her brother enough to feel this power of vengeance surging through her veins. Victoria does not even try to mask her desire to destroy Jessica, and she found a good way to do so, through hurting Jessica’s sister Krystal while using me.

There’s no escaping it. Her nails clawed on my shoulder, desperate for an answer. Her nails dug at the skin of my shoulder, and I can feel it starting to wound.

I can’t look at her, so I merely breathe in and out steadily.

“Do it, Eunyoung.”

After minutes of delaying my answer, I finally responded through clenched teeth. I am not thinking straight, but I doubt that I will be able to after saying this.

“I will.”

Then I thought to myself, atleast I have the chance to help her, the way I failed to help sunshine.

Atleast I’m doing this for someone special.

Although what I’m about to do is downright malevolent.

I drove for miles until we reached the swamp house, the only place I can think of bringing her. Victoria made it clear that she did not want to go home. After parking the car beside an oak tree, we directly went out of it and pushed through the raging storm, cautiously making our way to who knows where. The pitch black area stood before my eyes, and if Vic had not held onto my hand, I will surely tumble flat on my face. She seems to know exactly where the swamp house is located, even if the only source of light that we have came in the form of the peeking moon above us, penetrating and pushing its way out of the calamitous downpour attacking our bodies just to palely light our way.

I held onto her cold hand, the other now numb and lifeless as I used it to cover my wound as hard rain prickled on my built. I trudged up a darkened path as thoughts of the things that happened earlier swished past my mind in fast currents.

I can’t think of anything sane at the moment; the thoughts are fragmented and my system is too intoxicated to even make out the puzzle.

Victoria’s grip on my hand tightened as she came to a sudden halt. With her free hand, she pushed something in front of us and cautiously sought its comfort, dragging my body with her inside the cramped space of the swamp house. I tried to focus my eyes on the darkness, but it only made the nausea come back. The room was pitched black; there weren’t even slits of light that penetrated through the tiny holes of the roof that I saw the first time I went in here. I ran my hand into my damp hair, but my palm brushed along the line of my wound, earning a faint whimper from my mouth.

In just a span of hours thoughts of death came flooding in. My wife beater clung into my body, damp. I can start to feel my body tremble slowly, but not from the cold, that I’m sure of. I feel so helpless under the situation we are in. If there’s one thing I absolutely hate, it’s the feeling of being so vulnerable, but I am at this moment. All my hardness totally went out the window. I can feel my eyelids droop, but I controlled the urge to let sleep drift me off somewhere else.

I rested my body into the soft makeshift mattress behind me, and my systems seemed to crazily shut down one by one as I rested. Even my heart rate returned to normal as I closed my eyes, one hand massaging my head, avoiding the gash as much as I can.

I felt Victoria’s hand make dents on the bed as it searched for my body under the ink-blackness of our surroundings. My own travelled towards her direction, and our hands met along the way. She squeezed my hand after finding it, and carefully, she laid her own body next to me and tucked her head under my arm.

The minutes turned to hours, and it seemed as though I was all alone. Victoria didn’t utter anything after we got here; though I can still feel her wet body lying next to me on the makeshift bed, I can’t perceive any movement from her; I can’t even feel her body heave to breath.

The thought scared me; I want her to talk, to feel her body heave as she breathe, but because the rain still pattered violently on the roof above us, it covered any sounds or movement she may have been making.

I let the rain do its thing; I let Victoria find comfort by merely being in my presence. After what happened and how she acted earlier, I don’t think I even am ready to talk about anything just yet.

Sleep finally found its way to my tired mind and body, and this time, I welcomed it wholeheartedly.

             As the light of dawn erupted from the skies above, light shone on two figures lying on the improvised bed in a swamp house deep in the forest.

             Amber adjusted her eyes on the sudden burst of sunlight and the warmth it brings with it. Beads of sweat began forming on the smooth skin of her temple as she sat motionless beside the sleeping Victoria. Out of a newfound reflex, her still numb hand reached for Victoria’s face and smothered it, but she stopped just before it made contact with her eyes. She remembered dearly the look of Victoria’s eyes as she cried last night. Amber couldn’t help but feel strongly for the other, she knows exactly how Victoria feels and because of it, she swore on something she isn’t sure she can keep.

              But she’ll try hard to keep it; she’ll keep Victoria satisfied, she’ll keep Victoria with her. The stoic emotion she bears when she’s with Victoria is just her façade, because whether she admits it or not, she likes having her around. After what happened in New York, Amber just wanted someone to be with, not even to emphatize, but just to keep her company.

              I’d do what I can to help you, the way I couldn’t help her…

              Everything seems to be weaving its way back to her. The thoughts and memories she should’ve left in New York is starting to chase its way back unto her guilty mind; haunting and pinning her into the misery she had embraced and surrendered into.

              Pushing thoughts about her off her mind, Amber decided to concentrate on the events of the previous night. She cannot thoroughly decipher what she should be feeling; mixed thoughts of the previous events and the pangs of guilt haunted her tired mind. But as much as she wanted to spur the good thoughts to bury the nagging thoughts of guilt, her failures seemed to replace all of it instead.

              Tendrils of her hair hung loosely on the sides of her face and she pushed it back, but the act reminded of the person who’d always do it for her; the person she involuntarily caused pain and suffering; her parents, her relatives, her, herself and now, Victoria.

              Why do I always have to cause pain to the people around me?

              She was branded as the black sheep of the family; the good for nothing daughter out to ruin the name her family boasts, but that doesn’t mean she never tried to conform to what and who they wanted her to be. The problem was, as she tried and pushed herself to be efficient and good for her parents, the more she was seen and treated indifferently, especially by her father. She was never good enough for him, and although she had long accepted that, dark thoughts of despise still lingered on her mind. Sending her to Korea is just his way of getting her out his sight; he did not even bat an eye as he made his verdict.

              It was okay not to see him every day; it was, as Amber realized now, was instead a blessing. What she cannot stomach is the thought of not being with her.

              Every day when she was younger she’d try to impress him, she’d even join in on conversations her parents are having on the dinner table and talk intelligently, just so they’ll get impressed by her depth. But no, their response was the exact opposite. They’d yell at her, tell her that she’s in no place to talk about anything, but she’d just stand there, holding on to the hem of her shirt nervously, counting the seconds and spankings she’d get from the enmity of her father. Keeping tab of all the bruises she got. She wore an act soon after the last straw; she started detaching herself from developing any close relationships from them, seeking the comfort of the wrong people who she had blindedly branded as the right ones.

              Before she realized it, she had already taught herself not to care; to act stoic at their treatment and stop trying altogether. All her emotions welled up, she learned how to build walls that will protect her from everything; her parents, her father’s unkind words and treatment, and finally, from the seemingly deadly emotions.

              Hate, that’s what she have for all of them, with the exception of her. She was always there when everyone seemed to have forsaken her, when she surrendered from everything.

              But that was before. She’s no longer here with her and Amber knows that the only person she can ever turn to now is the one she sees when she looks at the mirror.

    Herself.

              Everything that I’ve done was never enough. If I couldn’t be the daughter they wanted me to be, then by God I swear I’d be the exact opposite…

              As she was busy piling anger and hatred in the depths of her mind, Victoria stirred to her wake. As if nothing happened, she got up from the bed and immediately upon seeing Amber, ran her hand through the latter’s sticky hair.

              “Hi…” She purred, her gaze never leaving Amber’s eyes. The glossy black tints on Victoria’s eyes made the hairs on Amber’s arm stood on its ends, even if they are exposed to the scorching rays of the sun.

    They were devoid of any emotions.

              Amber can’t fully grasp how the other sees her now; is she still a friend? Or now a mere instrument for revenge?

              Amber shuddered at her touch, but more upon seeing Victoria’s lips curled into a mischievous smile. Then and there she realized that the bubbly and cheerful Victoria is now completely replaced by someone else.

    Someone malicious; out to unleash her anger to an innocent victim.

I don't know if this chapter cleared any bugging questions about Amber's angst; I know she needs a very good reason to angst. And she has.

If it 's not cleareed in this chapter, then rest assured that it'll be in the suceeding ones.

Pray.

It'll take you places.

♦ Achailee