"You like Baro. Huh”

“I said might. Don’t jump into conclusions.”

“You basically just admitted that you did. Unless you’re still out of whack because of that makeout session and it’s just your hormones talking right now. That makes a lot more sense actually.”

The glare I shot Jinyoung was enough for the older guy to stop making jokes, but not enough to end the conversation completely. The two of us were sitting alone at a bench as the rest of the guys were on another death machine ride. I worried a little bit for Baro’s sake. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to be able to handle so many rides in a short amount of time. Or maybe I just didn’t want him to.

“You aren’t helping at all,” I muttered. I took a long look at the drink in my hand, which Baro secretly brought for me without Gongchan’s knowledge, because he knew Gongchan would’ve wanted to pay if he found out. Even then I myself told Baro that he didn’t have to buy it either. He never listens. “So much for being a person I could come to for advice.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jinyoung said. His eyes were glued onto the ride that the guys were on. “It’s just a little weird. I mean, one minute you’re talking about how the whole thing is a waste of time and the next minute you’re confessing your undying love for the guy.”

“I said I might like him. Emphasis on the ‘might’. There’s no undying love involved. That’s gross.”

Jinyoung chuckled. “Alright. I’ll be serious. So what, are you going to tell Baro?”

“Baro told me that he’s pretty sure I like him. But he wants me to figure it out on my own.”

“At this point there’s nothing for you to figure out. What you need to do now is figure out how this whole ‘dealing with your feelings’ thing works.”

“What do you mean?”

Jinyoung’s eyes were glued to the ride and would follow the motion of the machine going up and down. He had his own drink in his hand, one that Gongchan desperately brought for him after Jinyoung’s many attempts to convince Gongchan that he could pay for it himself.

“Honestly, at this point, it’s pretty clear that you have something for Baro. But that doesn’t mean you can confess and everything will be all jolly lolly afterwards.”

Jolly lolly?

And I wasn’t planning on confessing either. Besides, what was there to confess? That I might have feelings for some annoying idiot who likes to cling on to me for no apparent reason? I mean, that was what I was supposed to be figuring out anyways. That was the whole point. On the night of Baro’s own confession, I even admitted that I possibly might like him in return that same night. But I wasn’t entirely sure if it was just a spur in the moment, or the fact that I was able to make out with him again afterwards that made me say in the first place. But now both Baro and Jinyoung are saying that they are positive I have feelings and it’s just making more even more confused on the whole situation. So much for ‘not over thinking things’.

“So what do I propose to do? Keep this to myself and lead Baro on even more than I already have? Doesn’t that go against your whole ‘protect my little’ crap you’ve been pulling these last couple of days?”

"And asking me that question is going against your 'this whole thing is pointless so why even bother' you’re constantly trying to throw at us.” Since when did Jinyoung know how to talk back?

Alright, so many this whole ‘everything is pointless so let’s not even think about it anymore because why bother’ thing isn’t exactly going as planned. Even if it was just about an hour ago when I proposed the idea to Baro. But now that I made that confession to Jinyoung, which was a complete mistake by the way, it seems like ignoring the whole thing will be practically impossible.

“What did you mean when you said I have learn how to deal with my feelings?”

Jinyoung took a long sip from his drink and frowned. “I don’t think you’re ready to jump into a relationship. Especially not with Baro.”

I wasn’t planning on jumping into a relationship. With anyone.

“What I mean is,” Jinyoung continued when he noticed I wasn’t saying anything, “Is that even though it’s pretty obvious you like Baro, you still don’t have a clue how to express your feelings. You always have that stoic look on your face and your voice is so monotone, it’s pretty hard to tell what you’re feeling sometimes. You’re always so cold and pushing people away. There are times when you actually express something, but those moments are rare.”

Okay, so I’m a bit emotionless. So what? I’ve spent my whole life rarely showing how I feel. I feel more comfortable that way. What does that have to do with anything?

“Do you really thing Baro is going to be able to deal with you like that?” Jinyoung asked. The ride was slowing down and that meant the guys were going to come back to us any moment now. “Right now he’s okay with it, but eventually he’ll get tired. Probably even annoyed.”

“I’m not going to change just for some idiot like him.”

“And that’s what I’m talking about,” Jinyoung pointed out. “I’m not saying you have to change for him. Just you need to learn to open up, even if it’s just towards Baro. He deserves that at least. He’s not going to be able to put up with your cold attitude for so long. Eventually he’s going to question whether you actually like him or not, and that might become a huge problem for you guys. Right now it’s okay because you guys are just friends, but when you guys put actual feelings into this, then it won’t be as easy to just brush Baro off and still expect him to follow you like a loyal puppy.”

At this point I just wanted to rip my hair out, go home to by bed, and sleep for a few days. This was becoming more annoying than I thought it was going to be. It was already annoying from the start, but this just takes the cake. I didn’t need Jinyoung to nag me on stuff I wasn’t even planning to do.

Confess? I was far from confessing anything to Baro. Getting into a relationship? No thank you. Relationships isn’t for me.

“You need to understand how to express yourself before you do anything else with Baro.”

“Why do you automatically assume that I’m going to confess to Baro and he-”

“Jinyoung!”

I was cut off by an overly excited Gongchan as he ran up to us, the dumbest grin on his face. Namsoo followed afterwards, looking just as excited as Gongchan, and Baro was last with a face that made it seem like he was seconds away from throwing up.

“How was it?” Jinyoung asked. He looked like a proud mother as both her babies ran up to him and sat down on either side of him. They both ran rambled on about how great the ride was and how they wanted to go on it again.

Baro sat down beside me and I couldn’t help but be amused. “The ride wasn’t as fun as you thought it was going to be, huh?”

“It was fun,” Baro grumbled, his hand on his stomach as if trying to stop anything from flowing back out, “I just didn’t think it was going to spin for that long. And that fast.”

I chuckled and, without even realizing it, reached up to move a strand of Baro’s hair that just so happen to be in his face. I wasn’t until I noticed the look Jinyoung sent me that I pulled my hand away and nervously coughed.

“What ride should we go on next?” Namsoo asked after a while.

Gongchan grinned as he pointed on another deadly looking machine that span even faster than the one they were on previously. “Bet you can’t handle that one,” he said proudly, challenging Namsoo for whatever reason. Probably trying to impress Jinyoung how brave he was or something. It was all stupid anyways.

“Are you challenging me?” Namsoo asked, an eyebrow raised as if he was actually impressed that Gongchan was trying to go up against him.

“It won’t be much of a challenge if it’s you I’m going against.” What the hell are these guys even talking about?

“You’re so on,” Namsoo restored back. He then looked at Jinyoung and said, “Come on, let’s go on it together.”

I could tell that Jinyoung wanted to reject the offer, seeing that way his face turned a bit pale at the thought of riding that deadly machine. He was completely okay with going on the rides at the beginning, but eventually his old began to get to him and now he’s trying to avoid it as much as I was. But unlike me, Jinyoung actually had a soft spot so he had no choice but to have him get dragged onto his feet. He sent me a pleading look, but I just shrugged it off. That’s what he gets for calling me cold.

“Baro, let’s go.”

Baro waved his hand to dismiss their request and let out a burp. “I think I need to sit this one out. I don’t think my stomach will be able to hold down my lunch any longer.”

“Gross,” I muttered.

But that was enough for Gongchan to let Baro stay behind while he and Namsoo dragged a sick looking Jinyoung towards the next ride.

Once Gongchan was a good distance away, Baro removed his hand from his stomach and widely grinned at me. “And that’s how you act your way out of things.”

I blinked. “So you weren’t feeling sick?”

“Nope,” he sat up and leaned in so our faces were much more closer than they should really be, “But I wanted to spend some time alone so I thought this was a good way to get Gongchan off our backs.”

My chest suddenly felt uncomfortable and I leaned back so that our faces wouldn’t be as close. Baro didn’t notice my reaction and just continued smiling at me. That made my chest even more uncomfortable.

“You shouldn’t really do things like that,” I mumbled, “It’ll make things weird.”

“And making out in a bathroom was perfectly fine? I didn’t know you were that much of a ,” Baro joked.

He only laughed harder when I made a motion that threatened to hit him, and I just sighed while shoving him to get him to shut up. He fell into a small chuckle and then suddenly, without warning, he softly pushed me so that I would slide to the end of the bench. He laid down onto his back and rested his head on my lap, letting out a content sigh once his head was settled on my thighs.

“What… are you doing?”

“Unlike you,” Baro mumbled, turning to his side so that he was facing my stomach and snuggled deeper into my lap, “I’ve been on about 13 spinning rides in the last couple of hours. My head is killing me so let me rest for a while.”

I couldn’t complain and told him to find another place to rest, but Baro looked calm laying on my lap and it wasn’t like I could’ve just pushed him off either.

“I know you were the one who said we shouldn’t do anything until I figure out my feelings, so I really think you’re breaking your own rule right now.”

Baro move his head to glance up at me and scoffed. Did Baro just scoff at me? “I think we broke that rule after the 5th time we made out.”

We didn’t make out that many times, did we? I honestly lost count.

“Besides, you like me.”

I frowned. Seriously, what’s up with these guys now suddenly assuming that I like Baro? I don’t remember ever stating out loud that I did. “What makes you so positive about that?” I muttered, a little annoyed at all these sudden assumptions.

“Maybe I just want you to like me. But I think you actually do.” That didn’t make sense and that pissed me off.

“Can we kiss?”

I shot a glare at Baro and shoved his face away so that he was back facing my stomach. “Are you stupid?”

“I’m just kidding. Besides, if Jaehyun comes and see us, he’ll probably kill me.” Baro chuckled while wrapping his arms around me to get himself more comfortable. My legs were beginning to hurt but I didn’t push him off. “Where is that brat anyways? He’s been gone to the bathroom for half an hour.”

It was actually over an hour ago, but I didn’t want to correct him. Jaehyun had claim that he needed to use the bathroom and to go on ahead without him and he’ll just text us to meet up again. But he hasn’t texted or contacted us in any way since he left and I knew it was because he was avoiding us. I hated how he was being so obvious about the whole ignoring me thing, and I hated it even more that it was him ignoring me when he’s really the one at fault.

If he think doing this will make me run after him, he has another thing coming. But I was considering to talk to him just to get him to stop acting like a little brat so that the other guys wouldn’t notice.

“Actually, I wasn’t kidding. I really want to kiss you. But if you don’t want to, then that’s okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I found myself saying out loud, “It’s more like I’m not aloud too.” I’m one step closer to getting my kicked by Jinyoung if he continues finding out about the things I’m doing with Baro.

“I said it’s okay if we do these kind of things,” Baro said as he looked up at me confused.

I forgot Baro was unaware that Jinyoung knew everything. “Forget what I said,” I mumbled, pushing his face away again so he wasn’t looking at me.

Baro didn’t question any further about what I meant and closed his eyes. “This is nice,” he mumbled. “It’s nice to know I can do these things without feeling weird.”

My eyes noticed a couple that was sitting at another nearby bench was giving us a weird look and I shot them an annoyed stare that made them turn away and pretend nothing happened. The ride that Jinyoung and the others were currently on could be seen from where me and Baro were sitting and I could tell it was about to come to an end soon.

“Why do you think I like you?”

This question caught Baro by surprise as he shot his eyes opened and moved onto his back so that he was looking completely up at me. He seemed to think before answering and that oddly made me feel a little nervous for his response. “Because you said so yourself. Well, you said it was possible, but that was a good sign for me. But maybe I’m just being too confident about this all.” He nervously chuckled and looked away to avoid eye contact. “Especially since you said that you didn’t want to deal with this anymore.”

I bit my lip and leaned a bit down so he could look at me again. “What if I said you might be right?”

Baro stared at me for a while before grinning widely. “Then I’d be the luckiest guy.”

I blinked, but didn’t smile in return. I leaned back again and glanced over at the couple again, who wasn’t paying attention to us anymore. “And what if I said that even if I like you, nothing can still happen between us?”

That made Baro frown. “I’ll ask why.”

“And what if my answer was that maybe I’m not ready for something like being in a relationship?”

I could tell Baro was trying to understand, but it was a bit difficult for him. “Then,” he began and he smiled again, but it wasn’t as bright as before, “I’ll tell you that it’s okay and that I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

This made Baro laugh and he reached up to tap me lightly on my forehead. “Idiot. It’s not like I’m going to let you deal with it on your own. I’ll help you become ready.”

That made me silent for a moment and the next thing I did wasn’t something I planned, but it felt right at the moment and I knew it probably wasn’t going to regret it. I leaned down again and placed a quick peck on Baro’s lips before quickly pulling back again, my cheeks red and my face trying my hardest to act like nothing happened.

Baro’s eyes were wide for a moment.

“I think you’re right,” I mumbled, my eyes looking at anything but him, “About me liking you.”

Even though I acted annoyed at the assumptions, I knew deep down that Baro and Jinyoung were right. I just didn’t want to admit it, I guess. But if Baro was going to be so nice about it, even though I’m not entirely ready to move our relationship any further, then what’s the worst that can happen? I like Baro, that’s just a simple fact.

Baro slowly closed his eyes again and let out a content sigh. “I know.”

=

Jaehyun never came back and when we finally meet up with him 5 minutes before going back to the vacation house, his excuse was that “I got lost and forgot about the idea of texting you guys. It’s okay though. I’m not a big fan of amusement parks anyways.”

I gave him a skeptical look as the 7 of us, including the driver, hopped back into the van. That was a total lie because I can recall a dozen times where Jaehyun had tried to drag me to the nearby amusement park when we were kids.

It was late and the amusement park was about to close for the night. Gongchan continued to drag us around throughout the day and would occasionally ask about Jaehyun’s absent, but when we realized Jaehyun was probably not going to come back, he gave up on asking about him.

Baro and I became more glued to each other’s sides, barely leaving each other until it was completely necessary.  Baro even managed to convince me to go one of the the kiddy rides while the other guys stood on the sidelines and took pictures of me and sitting in the smallest teacup known to man.

I was tired from all the walking, but I didn’t complain because the guys actually had to go on the rides so they were probably even more exhausted. The only person who didn’t seem tired at all was Baro. In fact, he was smiling throughout the whole day since my confession at the bench. I didn’t know he was going to be this happy.

Jaehyun, once again, sat in the passenger seat. Within the first 15 minutes of the ride, Gongchan and Namsoo immediately fell asleep, both of them resting their heads on Jinyoung’s shoulders as he was stuck sitting in between them. But he didn’t seem to mind as he smiled down at the both of them before putting his attention onto his phone for the rest of the ride. Eventually, he fell asleep himself.

Baro was rambling on to me about the best and worst rides that were at the park and about how cute I looked sitting in the tiny teacup.

“That wasn’t funny,” I muttered as I tried to scowl at him, but Baro just pinched my cheek and called me cute again.

“Did you have a nice time though,” he asked once he was done teasing me, “Your fever didn’t come back again, did it?”

I shook my head. “The park was okay,” I said while Baro reached over to fix my hat. “I just don’t really like amusement parks. They’re too loud and crowded.”

“Ah, yes,” Baro said with a chuckle, “You hate crowds. How can I forget?”

“I hate people in general.”

“You like me though, right?”

My face heated up at the question, and although I knew he was only saying it to tease me, I couldn’t help by glance to the front of the van at Jaehyun to see if he was listening in. Luckily enough, he had his headphones in and his eyes closed.

“Can you not?” I muttered with a frown.

That just made Baro laugh again, but I couldn’t help noticed at how he also glanced over at Jaehyun, as if he was also making sure Jaehyun wasn’t listening either. I also couldn't help glancing at the driver either, to see if he was pay us any attention as well. He had his eyes on the road, but it still made me a bit nervous.

“Tomorrow is our last day,” Baro said, grabbing my attention again. He scooted closer so that he could whisper, probably aware about the driver as well. “Then we’re going back home and we won’t see each other at all for another week.”

“Christmas isn’t going to be all that busy,” I mumbled, trying to ignore how close Baro was sitting, “I’m sure we hang out for a bit before then. I’ll be spending Christmas with my dad anyways.”

“So much for spending time together this week,” Baro said with a light chuckle. “It was a lot harder than I thought.”

“I still don’t understand why Gongchan was so determined to get us to all hang out together,” I said. I glanced over at the seat so see how clingy Gongchan was to Jinyoung while he was asleep. “There’s a reason for it but he’s not telling you. I’m pretty sure this is all going to come and bite us in the .”

“We’ll deal with that when it comes.”

I looked back at Baro and frowned. He looked a bit tired, and I had a feeling he wasn’t asleep like everybody else because he wanted to stay up so we could talk without the other guys butting in. I felt a bit bad. “If you’re tired you should sleep too.”

“I’ll sleep when we get back to Gongchan’s Uncle’s place.” He waved his hand to show that it was alright, but it didn’t make me feel any less guilty. Baro was always putting me first and it was a bit annoying to be quite honest.

“You really need to start looking out for yourself,” I commented, “You look like you’re about to die any second.” Whether it was really because of what happened to us this past month, I hated the fact that Baro wasn’t sleeping or eating properly. I didn’t understand why he let the whole thing affect him so much. Unless he likes me that much that he let his own health be affected by it.

“How about this,” Baro said with a small smile on his face and he slowly leaned his head on my shoulder, “When we get back home, you take me out to eat?”

“Why do I have to take you out?”

“Just do it,” Baro whined.

I simply sighed but eventually nodded my head while at the same time letting out a yawn. “Fine. But only if you sleep now. Your eye bags are freaking me out.”

Baro snorted but didn’t remove his head from my shoulder. “It’s a deal.” He let out a yawn and moved his head a bit to look up at me. “But I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep when someone as cute as you is sitting right next to me.”

I could feel my face flush and frowned. “For someone who was mentally freaking out about liking a boy, you sure like to flirt, huh?”

Baro shrugged. “I’m trying.”

Eventually, Baro did fall asleep. I was the only one awake and even though I tried sleeping myself, since it was an hour ride back to the vacation house, I just couldn’t.

I didn’t know where me and Baro were standing now. I didn’t even know what I had confessed to him either. I mean, I basically told him that I indeed like him. But I also basically told him that I still wasn’t ready to take the next step.

It was exactly what Jinyoung said; I wasn’t ready.

--

We all stumbled out of the van, every one of us with only sleep on our mind. It was almost midnight and there was no way in hell that I wasn’t going to go straight to bed. I only had one more day until I can finally go home and I wanted that day to pass by as possible.

But Jinyoung didn’t let us go to bed until we all took a shower because “We’ve walked around all day and you all stink of sweat.” but he smelled just as bad as us and you can tell that all he wanted to do was go to sleep as well.

I was the only one who didn’t fall asleep in the van because of all the thoughts running through my mind. I hated all this thinking. I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to be thinking about.

I walked out of the shower and out of the bathroom, already in my sleep wear and my hair still completely wet. Baro took a shower before me and was sitting on the bed waiting.

“You didn’t dry your hair?” He asked when I sat down beside him with a yawn.

“It’s okay,” I mumbled. I just wanted to sleep. I didn’t think the amusement park was going to tire me so much. “It’ll dry eventually.”

“You’ll get sick again.” Baro had a worried look on his face. He grabbed the towel I just so happened to have around my neck and placed it on top of my head. Without asking, he began drying out my hair.

“You don’t have to…”

Baro didn't respond and just continued to dry my hair. Honestly, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I wasn't used to having somebody else do something like this for me that wasn't my mother. Not even my father did this for me.

"Baro," I mumbled after a couple of minutes of just hearing the towel ruffling through my hair. I noticed even Baro's own hair wasn't dried. "Can I ask you something?"

Baro paused for a moment before continuing. "Why are you hesitating to ask me something? Just ask."

I swallowed my silvia. "Is all of this okay?"

"What is?"

I swallowed again. "Well, I mean, I kind of admitted to you today that I kind of like you but we're not.. you know... dating."

I could feel Baro's hand slowing down and I didn't look up at him until he completely stopped. He was staring at me with wide and his mouth was little gapped. "You... you what?" His face was turning more red by the second.

"I- wait," I leaned back a bit and gently pushed Baro's hand away from my hair. "What do you mean 'what'?"

"You said you like me?" I couldn't read Baro's face and that was making me nervous, and I didn't know why. "When?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "When we were at the bench.." I said slowly. "Are you telling me that..." I didn't finish my sentence as my own face started to heat up. Did Baro actually not understand what I was talking about that whole time?

"I thought- I thought you were just joking. I didn't-" Baro dropped the towel on the bed and covered his face. "Oh god, I screwed up," I heard him say, "I'm so stupid."

"Why would I joke about that?" I tried to snap but it came out as a nervous stutter.

"It's just- I was acting so confident about thinking that you like me, I thought you were just playing around." He stuttered back. But his hands were still covering his face.

I wanted to laugh about the ridiculousness of this whole thing, and at the same time I wanted to punch Baro for being a complete idiot. Only he would brush everything off as a joke and make me spend the rest of the day mentally freaking out about the whole thing.

"What about what I said before," I asked once my face heated down a bit, which was useless because it was going to hear up again anyways, "about saying that I wasn't... ready. Did you at least understand that?"

Baro moved his hands away and nodded his head. His face was still really red. "I got that part, but I thought you were just talking hypothetically. I didn't- oh god."

"You really are stupid."

"Tell me about it."

The digital clock on the bedside said it was past midnight, but sleep was the last thing on my mind. Baro was fidgeting with his fingers as if he was trying to decide what to say next. My own hands were playing with the towel that was being used on me earlier, while my eyes was trying to look at anything but Baro.

"I don't- I don't know what to say. I didn't think this was actually going to happen."

"You were the one saying I liked you."

"I know," Baro mumbled, "but I didn't think I was going to ruin the whole thing by not actually knowing that it happened. I mean, you finally confessed and I just thought you were joking." He covered his face again and let out a low groan. "I'm so stupid."

"How do you think I feel," I muttered, "I was the one who confessed and this whole time I thought you knew."

"I just- I didn't think you'd confess so soon. It took my a long time to figure my own feelings."

"I guess it's because I'm simple minded," I answered, "I guess I just already knew."

Baro rubbed the back of his neck nervously and frowned. "So that thing about you not being ready, you really meant it?"

"I was doing some thinking and I realized that I'm in no position to be getting into a relationship. I don't even know how relationships work. Hell, I barely know how liking a person works. I'm not good at showing affection or my emotions. So I thought it'd be better to learn that before going any further."

I waited for Baro to answer, to possibly agree with me. I didn't want to get into anything with him when, odds are, I'd probably wouldn't be able to treat him right.

"It's okay," he suddenly mumbled. He reached over and grabbed ahold of my hand, interwing our fingers. "I don't mind if you're not good at relationships. I don't have any expectations on you. It's not like I'm an expert myself."

"That wouldn't be fair for you."

"I'll help you along the way. It's okay," he repeat. He gave my hand a light squeeze and smiled. "Really."

"Just give me some more time," I mumbled. "Just a few more days."

Baro nodded his head and his smile grew on his face. "Of course."

We sat there for a bit with our hands intertwined. Baro's face was still completely red and I hoped my face wasn't as bad as his, but I was pretty sure that it was worst.

"So, you like me, huh?"

"Can you not?" I said with a slight groan, "It's embarrassing already. You're going to make it worst."

"Okay, okay," Baro said with a laugh, "I'm just really happy."

I didn't know how to respond so I just told Baro that it was late and we should go to bed. But Baro claimed he had to take a quick bathroom break so he went to the personal bathroom we had inside the room when I made the bed ready to sleep in.

But once the bathroom door was closed, I heard a “YES! FINALLY!” from inside.

I covered my face with my hands and groaned.

(*ﾉдﾉ)
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