- If you don't define yourself, someone else will -

 

Jungkook and his brother went out to walk by a nearby park. The afternoon sun had already started to set in slowly. 

 

„Why did you come back?" Jungkook asked now disturbing the silence that stretched out for the past five minutes they walked.

 

His brother sighed looking up „I could be asking you the same."

 

„I asked first!" Jungkook shot at him. Indeed, his brother brought his younger self out.

 

„I wanted to change..." he looked at Jungkook „for the better."

 

„That's bullsh-" his brother cut in before Jungkook could fully voice out his thought.

 

„Why? Only because I've done mistakes after mistakes has to mean that the doors for a better change are closed upon me?"

He continued "Do I have to be at the brick of Death for me to value my life?"

 

And Jungkook thought about the time he almost threw himself infront of a car.

Unfortunately, he needed that reason.

 

„But what do you want to do exactly?" he asked.

 

„Yeah that's the difficult part,"

His brother chuckled. "But to start somewhere, I'm getting therapy to stop my addiction."

 

Jungkook remembered the time his brother avoided him because of his  suggestion to go see a therapist and now he was standing infront of him proudly stating that he walked there by his own will.

 

Sometimes nomatter what you do there are people who can only help them selves.

 

"That's good for you." Jungkook muttered. "I mean after all the things you've done like leaving us behind, stealing mom's money and so on this is a good start for you" Jungkook nodded hearing his heartbeat reach his ears. He was suddenly getting angry all of a sudden.

 

His brother looked at him.

"I came to make up for what I did." He said. "I know I was not a good support nor an ideal role model I know I failed but I've learned from it and now I'm ready to change" Jungkook didn't once look at his brother but he could hear the determination in his voice.

 

"Good for you" Jungkook didn't had anything else to say.

Why was he at a loss of words?

 

Before coming herer he mentally noted to himself all the things he held inside. He made a plan on how he'd act if his brother tried to run away but all those thoughts were in vain as the said male proved to him how unpredictable things in this word can be.

 

"Yeah good for me.." his brother mindlessly repeated. "And soon it will be good for you as well"

 

"What?" Jungkook turned his head to his brother for the first time since they walked.

 

His brother looked at him like he wanted to convey something with his eyes before he spoke up.

"Jungkook, it's not yet to late to turn a new leaf for you as well." The sudden change of direction surprised him.

 

"You think I'm a drug addict like you. I'm not that low with my life you know Hyun-" he stopped himself before he said that word. After the day his brother had left, he swore to never call that person who left him Hyung again. He had better people to call by that name.

 

He thought about the gang and there it hit him.

Did his brother know about the gang?

 

His brother looked pitying. "Okay I harmed myself while you harm others. Are we really here to talk about the bigger evil?"

 

„What do you mean?" he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to it.

 

„You know what I mean" His brother's tone changed. He sounded demanding.

"I don't know where or how it happened but we are quick to notice others mistakes before our own. I'm asking this as your brother because I know what for a good person you are. Change the path you are on" His brother was now directly looking into his eyes. They weren't walking anymore.

 

"I don't..." Jungkook trailed of, he could deny only to this instant. He was out of any excuse to tell. Or maybe he was just in shock on being found out. He was definetly caught of guard. What his brother brought up was definetly not something he thought of reveling ever.

 

His brother saw his discomfort and spoke up again "I'm not going to open this conversation again for your sake. Reconsider the people you call your friends. The misery of others shouldn't be the reason for your joy. You are better than that Kookie, Oops-„ his brother pushed his hair back as he looked elsewhere.

 

that slipped out of habit" he added.

 

And Jungkook felt his eyes burn from the tears that were welling up.

How he wished to go back to the time where he called his brother Hyung and his brother himself Kookie. How they would play basketball infornt of their house. How they would tell each other horror stories at night when they couldn't sleep. Where have things turned so bad?

 

Eventough things in his life have turned for the worse here his brother stood giving Jungkook hope, hope for a change and hope for a compensation.

 

„Have you met an angel?" Jungkook joked although he still wanted to stay mad.

 

"I've met myself" his brother smiled but soon that smiled faltered as he continued. "I saw my miserable reflection on the surface of the Han river one day.

I couldn't recognize myself and it shocked me so much.

You know, I thought all I had to do in life was to enjoy myself and don't follow any responsibilities. I thought if I ran away from them that they would eventually vanish or decoy with time, but I was wrong. It was me who startet to decoy not my problems and definetly not my responsibilities"

 

Jungkook attentively listened to his brothers words.

 

"We all have some sort of responsibilities in life Jungkook and if we do things contrary to it is the time we are at loss. I was in that stage it's really not nice" his brother put his hands on Jungkook's shoulder.

 

"So now I want to do the rightful" He smiled "And you should too. Don't forget it Jungkook your first responsibility is to love and resepct yourself then the others around you"

 

Jungkook shoved his arm away.

"Live rightful? What nonsense. Life is not that easy" he was irritated as how his brother always redirected things at him.

 

By now they were infront of their house. But both knew that one will walk inside while the other will not. This house was no longer a home for both of them at the same time.

 

His brother walked to the gate before he turned around.

"I may have a different perspective on life. I also have my doubts, I know it's not that easy but why is trying to live a decent life always seen as more troublesome than leading one with endless problems? You know I noticed life is like being in Highschool. Because in school the smart kid gets bullied and while the rule breaker is being looked up to. In life people who are trying to live rightful and disciplined are called stiff and naive. For what reason?"

 

"Because those people are stiff and naive" Jungkook added.

 

"That's because it's what you want to believe. Have you ever tried living that way?" His brother challenged.

 

Jungkook heard his brother say one last thing before he made his way to leave not being able to bare another second with this consulting.

 

"It's never to late Jungkook. You can still turn around before the road ends. Because once it does you won't be given any second chances."

 

to be continued...