Chapter 4

You were busy in your own little world embarrassing yourself for constantly bumping into Jay's chest. If this train didn't keep jerking out of nowhere then I'd be fine!

"Jay Park? Is that you?"

Oh.. my, OH MY! Kept repeating over and over in your mind. Jay let go of the rail immediately, which then made you let out a relief. Pheww, finally my cheeks can cool down.

You knew it; the girl's voice came from the person behind Jay. After what had been ages you finally looked up to him and made eye contact with him. He was pretty frozen though; staring back at you. You were sure he wasn't exactly expecting this. Man.. I shouldn't have agreed on this… I’m so stupid! But then why did you even need to feel so afraid? You and Jay aren't a couple or anything like that. You guys were just friends working with each other to achieve one another’s dreams. You both were simply having a day out; what friends did. What was wrong with that?

But no, it's reality; it's the life of a celebrity. No matter what, there will always be misunderstandings and there will always be assumptions; no matter how real or obvious the truth came to be. The next day there would be an article under the lines of,  'Jay Park's girlfriend?' Exactly, that was exactly what would happen.

The train had just come to a stop and the people around you started to get off. The crowded area around you became clearer and you had space around you.

"Jay Park, it's you right?" The girl asked again; now attempting to look at Jay to get his attention. Seeing as there was nothing else you both could do, you gave Jay a nudge and he gave you a reassuring smile before he turned around to face reality waiting for him.

"Oh hey, yes I am," Jay smiled and bowed to the girl. You peeked slightly behind him, she was dressed in her school uniform thus she was most likely going to school. Her eyes lit up as she saw Jay look at her; also dropped.  It made you smile because you were sure your reaction when you had met Jay for the first time was something along those lines. Though you hoped she wouldn't go to overboard and gather everyone's attention; Jay did not need something like that in a situation like this.

"OH MY GOD!! JAY PARK! I LOVE YOU! DID YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU ARE THE BEST!” And all your hopes were vanished down to ashes as you saw the girl scream and frantically jump up and down, lifting her hands up and it somehow looked like she was going to jump into Jay’s arms. You looked around you, and trust me, all eyes were witnessing this fanmeet and when I mean all eyes I mean ALL EYES. Oh no.. oh noo.

"Um, thank you!" Jay said while taking a step back (nearly stepping on you along the process) keeping the distance between them. 

"Can I get your signature?! No no! Can I have a hug please?! please?!" Her hand found it's way to holding Jay's arm. Which immediately made him lift that arm up slightly to force her to let go and he quickly responded, "Sorry, I can only give you a signature." 

You saw her frown and you knew she was pretty upset, no, it was more a very upset, before she started digging into her handbag for a pen and heart shaped notepad. She gave it to Jay and he kindly accepted. Once again, you looked around and this time some people even had their phones out; capturing this moment of time.

"But who is she?" the fan pointed at you, with the scariest look eyeing you from head to toe, literally. Jay handed back the love hearted notepad and she eagerly smiled. Then her attention switched to you again. It's time you get out your hiding spot Jane.

"I'm a producer and dancer working with Jay. Hi, it's nice to meet you," you said, emphasizing where you wanted the message to be clear and smiled to her hoping she wasn't gonna kick your or anything along those lines. Her reaction was surprised, like she couldn't believe you could be working with Jay. The way she looked at you consequently made you look down at yourself, just to double check you hadn't fallen into a pile of mud or something because she made it seem like that. Was your clothing a problem? But you wore appropriate clothing. Black skinny jeans paired with white flats, a white v-neck shirt and it wasn't a low cut one it was high so it was appropriate, along with a black cardigan. That's appropriate isn't it? You slightly looked over at Jay, right... that must be it.. Jay's hoodie was white and his jeans were black. Great minds think alike? you internally laughed at yourself, your stupid Jane. No, seriously, if that was the reason I swear I don't even know what to say next other than, are you serious man!

Jay's POV

I knew this was going to happen; I just didn't really wanna believe it.  Jane was trying her best to get the girl to not judge her. But this girl didn't stop giving her that look; it got me a little angry to be honest. You don't judge someone you don't even know. 

I’d really appreciate it, if fans saw me out in the streets and simply you know had a normal conversation and tell me what they think of my music. Don't get me wrong though, I appreciate all my fans. They are the reason I'm here; doing what I love most. They are the reason I had the courage to come back. But you know sometimes I just hope they gave me some space. 

It was in times like this that I would be brought back to the reality about having a girlfriend. Is this how she would be treated? 

Your POV:

“Why are you here? ... “Where are you going? Where’s your manager?” The girl switched her attention off you and suddenly threw questions at Jay.

Just a second after the questions were asked your phone rang. Oh my gosh! THANK YOU!

You quickly excused yourself and looked at the caller ID. It was from Chacha. OMG! YES! 

“Hello?”

“Yo GIRL! What are you both up to? While I work my off here, you’re over there having fun,” Chacha sarcastically sighed.

“Yes, we just finished the choreo, we will be there soon, Okay, bye”, Chacha must think I’m soo insane. Then you hung up not even giving him a chance to question what was up. Sorry Chacha, I really didn't mean to.

“Sorry but we have some important things to get to. Thank You for supporting me.” Jay apologised to the fan.

Both of you knew clearly well you were getting off at the next stop. Luckily you were approaching that stop. Jay signalled you to go nearer to the doors. When he went, the fan girl would follow him and stick to his side; never taking her eyes off him and practically holding onto his arm. The doors finally opened as the trai arrived to where ever the destination was. You bowed to the fan to announce your departure and she gave you a slight smile, actually I'm not even sure if it was a smile. Jay also bowed to her and she eagerly returned it, adding, “I love you Jay!”. He just smiled and waved one last time and you were finally off the train. You were actually really surprised she didn’t follow Jay as well.

Jay let out a sigh and you looked up to him. “Hey.. we better head back yeah?” you questioned him. Even though it had only been a roughly 30 mins train ride, it was time to go back before anything more could happen.

Jay looked at you and was no longer smiling, “I’m really sorry."

“Huh? What are you sorry about Jay! Don’t be!” You gave him a reassuring smile, “Hey, it was an interesting trip.”

Jay's POV

“It was actually”, I laughed thinking back to the incident. “Come on, let’s go get a cab, were not far away from the studio anyway.” I was certain Jane was questioning herself why I didn’t call my manager because that seemed like the more logically safest idea, but to be honest I didn’t know the answer either. I know I know, I'm such-a rebel.

We finally got a cab and the driver was an old man who seemed genuinely nice and he had no signs of recognising who I was; which was a major plus. We got in and sat on each side; leaving the middle seat empty. Not even 5 minutes since the taxi departed I noticed Jane was feeling very tired and sleepy.  I felt sorry for her, she had been working on the songs yesterday night till the early mornings and met up with me only like 3 hours since I dropped her off. I had eventually fallen asleep unintentionally on the couch though and knowing her, she didn’t wake me up.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid into the middle seat. Jane felt the movement and looked over to me with unsure eyes and confusion but she didn’t say anything anyway since she was half asleep. Trust me I don’t know why I did it either, but I tilted her head on my shoulder. I felt the awkwardness revolve as she struggled to accept my gesture. After a couple minutes though, her stiffness decreased and she had her head comfortably lying on my shoulder; probably due to the fact that she had literally fallen asleep. It was times like this where I wanted to just do what I wanted to do. I wanted to have her by my side, I wanted her.. as my other half..You don't understand how ..right it felt.. I swear it felt like we were fated to be together.. Like we are meant to be. I think I'm starting to get too carried away; back to reality Jay.

After about 10 minutes we were approaching the studio so I decided I should wake her up. I slightly moved her and she slowly came back from her short nap; leaving my shoulder. It was pretty cute though; seeing her struggle to open her eyes and rubbing them along the process.

I paid the taxi driver but had to fight over who would pay, with Jane because she went on about why she should pay and why I shouldn't. But eventually, I won. We both got out and we walked inside and saw Chacha.

“MY BUDDIES! Welcome back! Enjoy your time out? Woah Jane, you sure look tired.”

Jane and I basically went over to the couch and dropped onto it.

“We sure did, though tomorrow, I’m not sure what kind of articles you would be reading," you sighed, you were seriously worried about the whole thing and what the consequence was going to be. Seeing all those eyes and cameras witness everything just made it worse.

Chacha narrowed his eyes at Jay and then you, “So that’s what the phone call was about? But it's not like yous did anything bad.. or did yous?” Chacha smirked. Oh Chacha trust you to not make fun of it.

Jay threw the cushion that was next to him at Chacha. Which Chacha slightly missed catching and it skidded across his face, “Hey! I was only asking!"

You let out a small giggle before you zoned out.

Jay's POV

"Hey Jay, come to the booth", Chacha looked at me and then back at Jane. Which made me look at her; she was fast asleep. I did what I was told and went to the booth with him; not sure what was up.

I closed the door behind us. 

"Jane probably is gonna avoid you now. She gets tired and sleepy when she is worrying too much. And I'm certain she's worried about what the public would think about you too and how that would affect you."

"I know, that's what I'm worried about too, she's the type of girl that would worry about someone else first before she even worries about herself." I knew it.

"I was meant to ask you this a while ago, but I've noticed something different about you ... when you’re with her... Get my drift?" He knew it and he was right.

After some hesitation I finally faced it, "Your right and what you probably think is going on, is most likely right too,"  I lowered my head.

"So.. you .. like her?" Chacha asked.

All I could do was nod, it was just too true. I couldn't hide from that fact and I couldn't lie to him either.

"Bro, you’re in a pickle." I surely was.

Little did Jay know, Chacha had already figured that Jane had liked Jay too. To him it was obvious by the way Jane acted around Jay. But he knew Jane was struggling to erase that out of her system. Chacha secretly wanted both of them together though; he just saw it as though both of them were meant for each other. But he knew, things wasn't easy like that.

Your POV:

The following morning, you were once again in the studio waiting for the rest of the crew to come. You had some time alone to finally process everything. It wasn't till then did you remember the incident yesterday and you quickly got out your laptop. After some browsing, you were right; there had been pictures from when you and Jay met the fan. But luckily for some very odd reason, you didn't see any pictures of when you and Jay had that 'moment' of time. Oh right.. maybe no one noticed, until the fan called out and luckily that was when Jay let go. The titles were still similar to what you predicted though, "Jay Park spotted with an unknown girl? His girlfriend?" and so on.  Then a statement caught your attention.

"Jay Park was spotted with a female yesterday. To clarify the situation, the female he was with is a friend and she is a producer and dancer Jay is currently working with. We hope you anticipate Jay Park's comeback and give him lots of support. Thank You." 

Sidus had already released an official statement of clarification. Jay already solved it. But deep down, you were honestly very worried. It's time you give it your best effort to keep erasing that feeling towards him Jane, before it get's too late. Just then your phone beeped and it was a message from Jay. 

From Jay,

Heyy Jane, everything is solved, don’t worry about it. See you soon.

To Jay,

Hey Jay. Yeah, I just saw it. Thanks and see you here.

You put your phone down, sat on the couch with your head resting back and let out a sigh of worry. I'm so sorry Jay.

Two weeks had passed and Jay's comeback commerces next week. He had been majorly busy though, you felt bad for him, he must feel soo tired. Chacha had called you and asked you to meet him in the studio because he had something important to ask. So that's what you did, though he didn't say why, which made you worry.

Then you heard footsteps coming in. It was Chacha.

“Hey Chacha,” you waved and then put on a serious look; composing yourself to face whatever he was planning to ask.

“_____!” he seemed happy seeing you. “Right I got something to ask you.” He took a seat so he was next to you.

You straightened up, “O-ohkayy.. What is it?”

“I’m not going to go around in circles, I’m going straight to the point… Do you by any chance .. like someone?”

You gave him a confused look because you had no idea why he was asking you such thing out of nowhere. You were really surprised.

“You know you can tell me whatever is on your mind, I’m always here for you, you know that right?”

“I do, but I still don’t get why you’re asking me this.”

“That means you do?”

You were taken back, “Well… no I don't.” You lied to him, something you've never done.

He put his hands on your shoulders and faced you, "I know when your lying and when you're not Jane."  You sure do.

You couldn't run away now, it was time you faced reality. Chacha eyes eagerly stared at you as he anticipated your real answer.

You slowly nodded. 

“I knew it!!!" he jumped off the couch.

"Shhhh! Chacha!" You put your finger to your lips to signal him to keep it down. "You did? Man sometimes I think you know me more than I know myself.. But why are you asking me this?”

“Wait.. one last question… who is it?” Chacha was serious now as he sat back down, paying close attention to how you were going to react.

Seriously, how could I tell him? But I hated lying to him. “I- err.. do I really need to tell you? I mean it’s nothing serious to worry about..-“ 

“Jane, don’t hide from it. You know that’s the worst option a person can pick.”

“I know but…-“

“Is it someone I know?” You hesistated.

“It’s …. Jay isn’t it?” Chacha asked as if reading your mind.

Now your eyes shot up, they stay wide open as your mind turned shock and surprised. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that he knew. You blinked away and glanced over to him with confusion and you both knew that, that was the truth.

“I knew it!” Little did you know, Chacha was holding back the biggest grin. You covered his mouth with your hand because this guy was litterally screaming it.

He took your hand off, "Don't worry! He has a schedule to attend now."

“No.. don’t tell him anything, please? I'm begging you. This is just some stupid feelings of mine and I’m just in some kind of fantasy; everything will go back to normal. I've been trying my best to erase it and I'm getting there, well that’s what I hope and think. His comeback is next week and I don't want him to feel awkward around me. So please don’t tell him, please? I trust you not to Chacha." You frowned. You didn’t want Jay to feel sorry for you. If he knew about this, then it would just make things worse and so awkward.

Also, little did you know he was listening to the entire confession.

“You’re not in some kind of fantasy," called out the voice you did not want to hear at this moment in time.

You froze; you couldn't believe this was happening. You shot a glance at Chacha and he was shocked just as much as you were. You begged Chacha through your eyes and mouthed 'please' to him, hoping he could help you out because you were on the verge of breaking down. Chacha knew straight away; he knew you were dead serious. Luckily your back was facing the door where Jay was most likely standing so he could not see how scared you were.

"Bro, could you go outside for a bit please? I'll see you later," you heard Chacha say.

"No," was the response Jay gave out. As soon as you heard him say that, you thought the world was going to come crumbling down. The ashamed tears threatened to fall.

"Jay. Just listen to me!” Chacha insisted in a serious tone but a hint of demanding tone.

The last thing you wanted to happen was have the two people you cared for have an argument. You got up; Chacha followed his gaze at your actions. You looked at him and gave him the look not to worry about you. Then you turned around to walk to the door and leave, lowering your head so you weren't looking at Jay. You didn't dare look up, you kept your eyes on the ground, got to the door, was about to slid through the gap but Jay stepped right in front of the door; blocking your entire way and you couldn't escape. You mentally screamed at his actions, what did he want?

"Jay.. let her go," Chacha said sternly.

But Jay still stood there. So this wasn’t going to work. You turned around, walked past Chacha and went to the booth. You opened the door, went in and then closed it behind you. Luckily the lights weren't on so all you could do was fall to the ground and sit there hoping this was just a dream.

Jays POV

"Jay, what are you doing man?!" Chacha got up and walk over to me.

I really didn't know either; honestly. It was ideal to let her have her space at a time like this, but the stupid me did the complete opposite. Thinking back to it, actually I honestly didn't want her to go. Maybe it was because of what she said after she confessed; hurt me. How she said she was fighting back her feelings. Why though...Right.. I'm getting carried away. Back to face my little brother who is staring at me and who is going to kick my any moment now.

"I don't know but I swear something inside of me told me I couldn’t let her go." I insisted.

"I know Jay.. but she's having a hard time man! Didn't you hear her say she's been trying to forget it all?"

"-But that's why bro.. I don't want her to!"

"Jay! But she doesn't know that! But I've never seen her like this man."

Chacha's phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Okay, I'll be there." 

Chacha looked at me, "what happened to your schedule?"

"Turns out my manager got the times wrong; it isn't till later tonight. So I thought I'd come here and see if you and Jane were here."

"Oh, alright. But look, I need to go, make sure you don't leave her alone BUT don't force her to speak to you or anything."

"I know.. I'll see you soon."

And with that Chacha left and I was left in the room by myself. I looked at the booth and sighed to myself. I made such a mess.

But honestly.. I was happy, beyong happy actually, that I heard her confess, I mean I've been dying to know her thoughts and now I did. But I felt extremely bad for earsdropping on her when I wasn't meant to. But she liked me, she really did. I don't know why but I stood up and went to the booth; yes the complete opposite to what Chacha had told me to do 5 seconds ago. But I swear, I didn't care if he would beat me up later on.

I opened the door and she was in the far corner sitting down with her knees up and her head resting on her knees. I honestly wanted to go up to her and hug her and tell her; everything is okay. And that's exactly what I did. What the hell is wrong with me? I have no idea, but I honestly couldn't let her sit there by herself, I knew she was angry with herself.

Your POV:

You heard the door opened and hoped it was Chacha. You didn't look up though just in case it wasn't. You heard footsteps walk over to you. Then suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around you; they were Jay's. You hesitated and struggled to move away because he just kept hugging you tighter.

"Jane, it's okay," he said while patting your back. It sent shivers down your spine though; not such a good feeling when you were trying to forget those feelings for him. 

After about a minute of silence you finally spoke, still not looking at him. "Jay.. I'm really sorry; I hope you don't feel bad for me. Can you just imagine you never heard anything? There's no need to feel sorry for me. Just concentrate on your comeback.”

Jay suddenly let go and you finally made eye contact with him. He looked at you like he was disappointed in you and you didn't know why.

"What?! What did you just say?" he stared at you, searching for answers.

"Umm... to put everything you heard out of your system, so you don't feel awkward around me?" How could a person do that anyway?

"I can't believe you just said that Jane!" He was practically yelling at you. What was he angry about?! 

"What's wrong with that? I'm telling you not to feel sorry for me so don't feel bad. Why are you getting so angry at me? Wouldn't that be the best option?" You got up and walked towards the door immediately feeling apologetic because of your snappy tone. You couldn't help it though, you were angry at yourself for not forgetting about the feelings you had for him. But you took it out on the wrong person. Just as you were about to open the door, suddenly you felt him wrap his arms around you. What is he doing?! You were shocked. You didn't understand why he was doing this. You didn't understand what this physical contact meant.

"What are you doing Jay?!" You struggled to get out of his hold. 

"I'm sorry Jane... I'm sorry for getting angry at you. But you just don't get it. Don’t you ever say something like that. Listen to what I'm about to say because this will change everything..." 

There was a long pause that lasted for about half a minute. You still stood in your position and Jay was still behind you, with his arms wrapped around your shoulders. Then you felt him lean down, his head closer to yours.

"I..I love you Jane," was the next thing you heard.

A/N:

How is everyone?! I hope you are doing well from wherever you are reading this =) 

Just a heads up, I don't think I will be able to update till another 2 weeks. (But this long chapter makes up for it yeah? xD) It's just that my mid semester exams start next week. But don't worry! I'll be back! 

Thank You for reading, subscribing and commenting! 

*Pictures were taken from Jay's  "Know Your Name" TAKE HD MV.