You slammed the door behind you as soon as you stepped into the house. Tears were now streaming down to your cheeks, as you felt anger rose on you. As much as you wanted to scream, your voice wouldn’t come out and ended up as a soft sob that echoed in the room. Your vision got blurry as tears kept coming in attack, abusing your eyes to let them out from their places. You ignored the concern voice of Dongwoo, who was now on the other side of the door. He was the one who drove you home. Seeing you in a situation like this assured him to leave his work on the restaurant and drive you home. You were thankful to Dongwoo for being a caring person, but you just couldn’t express it since you were distracted by the feeling of anger.

Still being angry, you let yourself fell on your own knees, digging your head in it, now leaning on the door. You knew it was a little bit over-reacting, it was only a lunch, but you didn’t care. All you wanted to do now was crying.

“___-ah. I’m sorry, I’ll be going now”, Dongwoo said. You ignored him, still crying in disappointment of what Hoya did. Dongwoo actually didn’t want to leave you being like this, but he knew you needed a time for yourself, so he reluctantly made his way back to the restaurant. On the way there, he was about to call Hoya to tell him about you, but he decided not to do it since he didn’t want to put his finger on this. ‘It was their own problem, I’d better not interfere with it’

***

Hours passed and your crying turned out to be a sob. You tried to calm yourself after being breathless for hours of crying. You wiped the stains of tears that marked on your cheeks. You reached out for your bag, taking your phone out from it. You noticed there were two messages, and both of them were from Sungyeol.

From : Sungyeol-sshi

Good luck with your boyfriend! I hope he gives you permission to be our make-up coordi :)

From : Sungyeol-sshi

Hey, how was it? Did you get the permission? Inform me soon :D

You just stared blankly as you read the texts. None of them was from Hoya, made your heart sank deeper in the ocean of disappointment. You heartlessly typed a text to reply his texts.

To : Sungyeol-sshi

He didn’t show up

You lifelessly stood up from where you had been sitting since the previous hours. You were about to walk to your room, when you heard your phone ringing. You half-heartedly picked it up, not bothering to see who from it was.

“Hello?”, you said, with a raspy voice caused by crying too much. Sungyeol seems to notice this. Being the only person to talk lately, you had told him about how you felt towards everything, and he had heard some of your story about being left alone by Hoya due to his work. Sungyeol had successfully cracked your shell down and let you spill your personal life to him, and he did the same to you.

“I kinda hated the fact that my boyfriend chooses his work over me”

“Woohyun and Dongwoo Oppa got busier these days. Haa, I wished I could be busier so that I wouldn’t be this lonely”

“I kinda felt being left these days”

“Thanks for being there to talk to me Sungyeol-sshi. I really appreciate it”

Noticing that you were really lonely, he couldn’t do much but coming to have a simple chat and offering her to work for him. That was one of the reasons why he really wanted to take you as his make-up coordinator. He thought he could at least accompany you until Hoya came home, so you wouldn’t feel lonely. Another reason was he just wanted to be close to you.

“Are you okay ___-sshi?”, he said with a concern voice. Somehow his thoughtfulness just made you wanted to cry again.

“I-I’m fine Sungyeol-sshi”, you said, stuttering as you held back the urge to cry. You bit your bottom lip to prevent you from bursting into tears again.

“Are you sure? I can pay a visit if you want. I’m free”, he said, trying to comfort you. It killed him inside to know that you were being weak like this, unlike the big-hearted-usual-you. You didn’t answer his question, still busy with struggling to fight back the tears. Sungyeol seems to understand the situation, as he heard your raging breath from the other line. He knew you were not in a right state to talk, so he decided to let you calm yourself.

“You know you can call me anytime you need. I’ll hang up ___-sshi. Calm yourself”, then he hung up, leaving you struggling with the tears. ‘You’re so weak ___-ah”

***

You decided to wait for Hoya to come home, just wanted to see his reaction about the failed lunch. As usual, it was already midnight, yet Hoya hadn’t showed up. After several hours of waiting, finally you heard a sound of car coming nearer to your house. You got up from the couch and went to the front door, waiting for Hoya to get off the car.

It took several minutes for Hoya to park his car and get off from the car. Your heart sank as soon as you saw his figure walking towards you. You noticed he got thinner than before, with a tapering chin and dark lines under his eyes. Soon, your annoyance towards him changed into concern. His tired figure just touched your heart and you felt sad to see him like this. ‘Hoya… you look terrible’

“Welcome home Hoya”, you said, smiling bitterly as you gave him hug. You let him hug back you, and felt his tiredness took over his strong body. You looked up to him and saw him smiled tiredly to you.

“Sorry about the failed lunch ___-ah”, he said. Guilt was seen in his eyes.

“It’s okay. Let’s go in, it’s cold out here”, you said. Then both of you went in and sat on the couch. Hoya let out a sigh as he felt the comfort couch.

“What did you want to talk to me about ___-ah?”, he said tiredly, but still trying hard not to look like one in front of you. He knew he had disappointed you too many times, at least now he would try to please you this night.

“It’s… not important Hoya, we could talk about this later”, you said. You didn’t want to force him to listen to you, as you saw tiredness was all over him.

“It’s always important when you not address me Oppa. Just say it ___-ah”, he said. You sighed. Hoya knew you too well.

“I’m just… thinking to get another job Oppa, as a make-up artist. You know Sungyeol? I got close to him lately, as he is the customer of the salon. He offered me this job”, you said. Your heart raced as you anticipated Hoya’s reaction. Deep in your heart you hope that he would prohibit you. But seeing his condition, seems like he wouldn’t even bother about it.

Hoya’s POV

___-ah is going to be a make-up artist again? I thought she didn’t like that job, considering it was her own decision to resign from her previous job. Was the job in the salon no longer interest her? I actually prefer her to just work on the salon though.

“Are you going to resign from the salon?”, I asked.

“The manager didn’t let me. Instead she gave me permission to be Sungyeol’s make up artist on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. The rest of the day I’ll be on the salon”, she said. Four days being a make-up artist and three days as a staff in the salon? Could she make it? I mean, I didn’t want her to be tired. It felt worst.

“Can you handle it ___-ah? It sounds tiring to me”, I said. I kinda didn’t like the idea of her being too busy, but on the other hand it was for her own career. I couldn’t hold her career back.

“I think I can make it if I try”, she said. It sounded like she was reassuring me, means that she really wanted this job. Did she? Well who knows? I didn’t even know this Sungyeol guy. Well I knew him from the TV, but never knew that he was that close to ___-ah that he offered her to be his make-up artist. Hell, I forgot Sungyeol was a man. I didn’t want ___-ah to be close to other man. Jealous? Haha yes.

But… maybe ___-ah wanted to take this job since she didn’t have anything to do while I’m gone. I just realized it had been months since we talked properly. She must have been feeling lonely these days. Would she feel better if I allowed her? I took glances on her, who was now staring blankly on her feet. I noticed her puffy eyes. Did she cry? Was it because of the lunch? I must have disappointed her too much. Maybe I should let her do what she wants to do now.

“If you really want that job, you can take it”

***

Narrator’s POV

You closed the door behind you and stared blankly at your room. Hoya gave you permission, but you didn’t know you should be happy or not. You had texted Sungyeol to tell him that you got the permission, and he was happy to hear that. You just sighed as you made your way back to the bed. As soon as your face touched the pillow, the urge of crying came back and attacked you, making you cry again on the pillow.

You felt disappointed for everything. For Hoya’s being busy, for Hoya’s decision, for this situation, everything. You let your strong barrier fell down, showing the weak you that had been hiding for a long time behind the barrier.

‘I’ve always been strong for Hoya. Why am I crying now?’

Updated! It's too long I think, but I can't help it. Sorry for those who don't like long chapter *bow*