After that visit, the two talked and Mina saw a new side to her friend that she never imagined could exist. Jihyo was just a kid like herself, but has been carrying so many responsibilities for so long, yet she remained a rather bright person overall. They remained close friends for the rest of their highschool days, but Jihyo managed to get a scholarship in Daegu and they went their separate ways. Mina had gotten accepted into Seoul U and would be staying in korea. The younger was a bit saddened, but made her friend promise to keep in touch regardless.

Jihyo accepted the scholarship because she would be getting some spending money, besides housing and all course expenses. It would allow her to work a bit less and not worry about bills, and that would be a good relief for her. It was good, and she was told she could apply for a transfer after the first year, if she kept good enough grades and the university she wanted to go to had an opening. Daegu was where Jihyo began her streak of being left by people, well people who weren’t her family, and she always thought what would have become of her had she not gone and taken the scholarship in Busan, it wouldn’t have given her as much as she had, but she could keep working two jobs to keep afloat.

The first one was a boy from the next class, he asked Jihyo out and she was promptly stood up. The guy showed up at the same bar with another girl all over him, about half an hour after he was supposed to meet Jihyo there. She just paid for her drink and quietly went back to her dorm, the next day he acted as if nothing had happened and tried to talk her up again. It was her first time feeling like that, she never really had many interactions during her childhood, having to work to support herself and study hard to get a recommendation. The only person she really got somewhat close to was Mina, even then, they just spent time together during school and their after class studying sessions.

A few weeks later, she was approached by an older woman, who said she saw Jihyo at the bar but was with friends and didn’t approach. They settled for a lunch date, Jihyo really didn’t feel like going to a restaurant and risk it after the bar. It was the best decision, she had been waiting for an hour and would have to leave for class soon when she saw the woman passing on the other side of the patio with another girl, trading kisses and giggles. At least this one glanced at Jihyo and looked uncomfortable, but that was as far as it went, the woman made sure to always turn away or duck through an open door when she saw Jihyo.

It was alright, however. Jihyo was doing her best to get the transfer and, with luck, she wouldn’t stay in this campus much longer. The last person to ask Jihyo out was Momo, during the last few months the younger woman would be staying. Seoul National had already sent her a letter communicating her acceptance and asking her to submit the papers to move her scholarship there, so Jihyo thought ‘why not’ and accepted. Momo showed up for the first date, a simple lunch out on the little patio close to the older girl’s building. They had fun, talked a lot and Jihyo even dared hoping the signs she picked up were just in her head, Momo found her cute and very funny and wanted to see her again. Their second date was at the dog park, Momo had mentioned she loved dogs and Jihyo thought it would be great because if she got stood up she would still have the dogs to play with.

This time, Momo showed up looking too happy and Jihyo saw the marks on the base of her neck clearly. The younger girl decided to let it go, they were just beginning to get to know each other, after all. It did hurt a little, not to be seen as more than just another ‘cute enough’ girl, but those had been just Jihyo’s expectations and she couldn’t really blame the other too much. So they walked around again, this time Jihyo kept a respectful distance and disengaged from anything personal, not that Momo seemed to notice. They spent the day with the older one rolling around with dogs, and Jihyo taking the time to look over some emails regarding her transfer. She would have told Momo and maybe asked to keep in touch, but today showed her it had been wise to hold back.

They parted animatedly, well, for Momo at least, and Jihyo headed up to her dorm to try and pack some more. She still had a couple of months until the semester ended, but it was never bad to be prepared. Momo messaged her a few days later, inviting her to go to some mexican restaurant she had been meaning to try, Jihyo agreed, not like she had much to lose anyway. That’s what she thought until she got closer to Momo’s building. She saw the older woman all smiles and bedroom eyes towards another girl, this was expected, what wasn’t expected was to see them kissing and Momo’s hand on the girl’s .

Jihyo sent her a message telling the older woman she wouldn’t be able to make it and headed back to her dorm. She took the time to do some of her course work, maybe study a bit and sleep earlier. Momo did disappear for a few days, by then finals had been close and everyone was just focusing on their own thing. Jihyo had been buried in books at the library when they did see each other again, she had packed mostly everything already and her room wasn’t exactly in studying shape at the moment. Momo walked in looking a tad bit manic, maybe finals were getting to her already. The woman Momo was groping the other day walked in just behind her and Jihyo hoped the book pile was enough to hide her away. It wasn’t.

“Jihyo, hey.” Momo greeted, approaching her. “This is Sana, and I was thinking, could you give me some pointers while studying? I know you are in the top one percent of our course.”

“Hello, I’m Sana.” The other girl greeted cheerfully.

“Hello Sana.” Jihyo bowed slightly. “I’m sorry, Momo. But I really can’t stop right now, you know I’m on a scholarship and I don’t have another choice other than being at the top of our course.”

“Please, Jihyo. I really need help right now and you are already here. We had fun together, right? How about we hang out again?”

The other girl, Sana, looked surprised at the proposal and the revelation she just heard. Jihyo understood that the girl didn’t know about her existence at all, and she really didn’t think keeping in contact with Momo would be a good choice at all. She decided to give Sana some peace of mind, but really didn’t want to be disturbed anymore with whatever Momo’s problem was.

“Momo, look, we had a few outings.” Jihyo sighed, being careful to not call them dates. “But we never even became friends yet. You are on the normal program, I’m on the advanced one. Your parents are helping you out, I need to keep my scholarship to stay here. I really can’t stop to do whatever you think I have to do for you, so please let me be.”

“C’mon, Mo. She is right, she needs to keep her grades and you just procrastinated too much. We’ll sit over there and you can begin trying to catch up.” Sana said, looking slightly apologetic and dragging the other away.

Momo looked like she was about to protest, but allowed herself to be dragged. She knew Jihyo knew already and wouldn’t be able to sway the younger woman again. She really did screw up with this one. Jihyo was known through their course, the pretty girl with sad eyes and a brilliant mind, Momo thought she could give her some kisses and maybe get tutored to bring up her grades and get her father off her back. She didn’t know how, but Jihyo had found out she was really not that into her and pulled back. Once the new semester started, the older japanese would have an epiphany and understand how Jihyo found out about everything, she would run through campus and later find out Jihyo had transferred, too late to do anything about it.

Jihyo headed up to Seoul right after her last final, she had already sent her things and got notice from her dorm that it had arrived two days before she went. Momo still had Jihyo’s number, but figured it wouldn’t be that good to call at the moment, maybe a bit later into summer vacation, giving the girl time to get settled before she shows up again. If showing up again was a good idea, that is. Sana said to leave the girl alone, but Momo was never good at just staying put when told to, even less when she thought there was something she could do.

Arriving in Seoul, Jihyo was asked to get into therapy by her counselor. The man had read her file and asked around her previous highschool, he thought it better to get her help right away as he knew the workload was about to increase, as she was accepted in the accelerated program. Jihyo was given the opportunity to reduce two years of her course and took it gladly, but her mentor knew it would be a matter of time for the girl to crack under the pressure. Not that Jihyo’s mind wouldn’t be able to keep up with the course work, but she would get very stressed and very pressured soon. That’s how Tan comes into her life, her very cute service dog. A little short-haired, brown dachshund trained to help her in case of panic attacks and some darker scenarios, he was a very good boy.

With Tan, Jihyo was known through her dorm and building as the girl with the cute dog. It was a nice change, and people would approach her to try and pet him, some understanding he was a service dog and not to be played with while on duty, others would try and pet him regardless and Jihyo would call for security to help her get away and then file a complaint against whomever it was. A few would whine but relent easily, once or twice she found those who would try and hit her for denying them. In the latter case, she was helped to the clinic and filed proper police reports against the people involved.

It was a difficult first few months, but things died down and she fell into a nice routine soon enough. The semester before her last was when Jihyo met Chaeyoung, the younger woman was, as many others, drawn in by Tan, he was being allowed to play a bit and Jihyo had been sitting in the shade nearby. Chaeyoung approached and remembered overhearing someone from her class complain about the rude who didn’t let them pet the damn dog claiming it was a service dog and then called the whole incident stupid. The younger one remembered their campus didn’t exactly allow pets, and the only ones she had seen around were, indeed, service ones, so she decided to approach the apparent owner first.

“Hey there, I’m Chaeyoung and would like to pet your dog.” She introduced cheerily.

“Helo Chaeyoung.” Jihyo chuckled. “You are in luck, it’s his break time. You can go and pet him if he allows you to.”

“Dogs love me, what are you talking about!”

As a matter of fact, dogs did love her and Tan wasn’t an exception. He was glad to receive the pats and ran around with her a little. But his play time was drawing to an end and Jihyo would need him to calm down before she could put his harness back and get him back to work, so she whistled and Tan ran over immediately. Problem was, there was a Chaeyoung in the way, who was promptly knocked down by the little guy as he ran between her legs. Jihyo got worried, but Chaeyoung was laughing, so she decided to just pour some water for her dog and look at the girl later.

“You alright, Chaeyoung?” Jihyo asks worriedly. 

“Oh, I’m fine” The younger waves her off. “I just got surprised about how strong the little guy is.”

“He needs to be strong for me.” There is a hint of sadness there.

“Well, you are in good paws.” Chaeyoung jokes to lighten the mood. “But if you are worried, how about you take me out for some coffee?”

“Like a date?” Jihyo panicked, she really didn’t think she wanted to do that. 

“How about like a ‘let’s get to know each other first’? We don’t need to call it anything, let’s just hang out and see where it goes.”

Maybe it was because it sounded less painful, maybe it was the nonchalance with which Chaeyoung said it. Could have been the fact that Jihyo had been in this university for so long and nobody approached her and actually looked like they wanted to hang out with her. But Jihyo agreed, maybe this time it would be fine, maybe Chaeyoung would actually show up and they could talk and see what they could become. The younger woman was visibly happy, and ended up declaring they would be going right away, which Jihyo said she would have to take her dog back to her dorm before going and Chaeyoung said she would gladly make the pit stop.

Their coffee went great, both discovering quite a few things in common and having a great time with each other. Both agreed to a few more dates, and Chaeyoung even kissed Jihyo on the last one, she had had a great time and felt great, the moment was right, so she stepped forward and their lips met. All fine and all, except that Jihyo had been feeling the younger woman distance herself from her for the last couple of dates. The kiss had felt wrong and untimely to the older one, especially after this specific date, they had fun, yes, but Chaeyoung was clearly not there, Jihyo knew it was a matter of time before she walked out.

Sure enough, two days later they had agreed to meet up for lunch. Jihyo saw it in the way Chaeyoung greeted her that this was it, but would hear the girl out regardless. They sat at one of the tables by Chaeyoung’s building, waiting until they had started eating for her to talk. Jihyo really wasn’t hungry anymore but she knew she would need the strength through the day and forced the food down.

“You can just say you don’t want to keep seeing me, you know.” Jihyo decided to just say it.

“I- *errm*” Chaeyoung chokes on her food a little. “What?”

“I know you came here to end whatever this was.” Jihyo explains, putting her things away. “You can just say it and get it over with.”

“Look, Jihyo, I really do like you-”

“But you like someone else better and came here to tell me I wasn’t it.”

“That’s one way to put it.” Chaeyoung sighs. “Look, I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen, and I didn’t mean to meet someone else.”

“Nobody ever does mean anything by it, it’s just me who has to simply take it and be quiet. No matter what I might be feeling, or the impact of their actions on me. But it’s alright, I can’t force anyone to actually care for me, nor can I do anything about you not really being into me at all.”

“I do care for you, Jihyo.”

“You really don’t, Chaeyoung. It’s alright, I get it.” The older sighed and got up. “I hope you are happy, just please delete my number, I’ll do the same to yours.”

“Ji-” Chaeyoung tried to explain herself but the other woman had already walked away.

It wasn’t like she had been playing with Jihyo, it just happened that she met Nayeon and liked her. She also wasn’t playing around, or two timing anyone, she was hanging out with Nayeon and moving ahead with Jihyo, it just so happened that she connected with the eldest better and decided she should break things off with Jihyo before anything else. It didn’t mean she didn’t feel ty, nor did it mean that she wanted to make Jihyo feel like that either. But Chaeyoung also knew she had to give the other some time, let her get the hurt out before she reached out again. Not to mention, Nayeon told her to do things the proper way before they got into anything more than friendship, when Chaeyoung told her about this other girl she was kind of seeing.