This will be the last ChangSeo Fic that I would write. I just need to put this out there because I believed they were once entangled in a beautiful story, which obviously did not take off. But I love both of them and wish them all the happiness in the world and I am happy that he is married and living well. 

I did not intend to offend anyone with this and as I said, this will be my last ChangSeo fic.

Hope you enjoy!

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Seohyun sat across the man, her eyes were already misty by thinking about the impending thing that was about to happen. She knew what this would mean because they have been going in circles about this for a while; and there was no point in delaying this any further. She could not give him what he wanted; at least not now but she knew it would hurt him more if they stayed. What he wanted was to settle, to have a family on his own, and he wanted to build that dream with her. But she had so many things she wanted to achieve and she was not ready to settle down because she knew that he would want a domestic woman and the picture was getting clear that she was not the fit.

He would have sacrificed himself; oh he would have. If she asked him to wait, he would.

If she asked him for more time, he would give her that.

But she would not want to be selfish; because no matter how she would think about it, what he wanted was not on her agenda in near future.

“Joohyun?” she heard him speak, with that soft yet trembling voice. She knew that he knew.

“Oppa…” she mustered the courage to look up at him. “I love you…so…so much”

She looked at how his eyes glistened with unshed tears; mirroring hers. “I love you too… I love you, Joohyun-ah, that’s why I am willing to—“

“No…” she held herself from breaking down, because what she was about to say would shatter both of their worlds. “No, Oppa. I don’t want you to sacrifice yet another one of your dreams for me. This has always been what you wanted and I know it” she pressed he fingers until her knuckles turned white. She never thought this would be this hard, that her hearts felt like it would have ripped apart just like that. The throbbing pain she felt was so immense she thought she would pass out. “Oppa… I will let you find your happiness… I am sorry, I am so sorry for being so selfish that I cannot give you what you want. I love you. I want you to fulfil your dream. I want you to be happy, Oppa… I will not give you any empty promises that will hurt us both more…” she blinked her eyes and helplessly gave in to the tears that started to fall.

He did not say anything for a while, his hands were on the table, his eyes were fixed on the wooden material that supported them. He did not know what to say.

He wanted to get angry, because it’s ridiculous. He would have waited; he would not mind. Or would he…? If in the future he asked her the same thing and her answer would still be the same, would he despise her then?

“Joohyun—“ he choked, the tears he has been holding were threatening to fall. She has been his world; his gravity, his center, his everything. So how could he let go of this woman just because they wanted different things…? He tried to reason, it’s not like he wanted to get married now, but… but he wanted to have a family soon, and she did not. It was as simple as that; simple but it was enough reason to break them apart, to distance themselves so far there was no turning back. His heart shattered for both of them. How can something so simple ended something so beautiful?

“I know, Oppa… I know…” she tried to smile in between the pain and the tears that just did not want to stop. She started to question if she was doing the right thing because her chest felt like it has been stabbed by so many knives; like every cell in her body was tearing apart. “I am sorry… I am sorry…”

He shook his head then, he understood.

For so long, he wanted to get angry at her, he wanted to shake her so hard to listen to him, to demand her to give him a chance to realize his dream with her, because how could her career be more important than him when she was his everything? But he realized it would be of no use, because then both would be miserable and they would end up hating each other anyways.

“Don’t be…” he said then, his voice hoarse. “We just want different things…” he said again, this time trying to flash her a smile no matter how small.

They fell silent, both don’t know what else to say because how could they just let go of this…? When they have been each other’s lives for the past 4 years? And before that, before those most beautiful 4 years in their lives, they were friends. And the end of this…what would be of them when they leave this place as exes? Would they be able to be friends again, talking to each other without no hard feelings, forgetting about the excruciating pain that they’re going through? They were more scared of the outcome, of the thoughts of losing each other in their lives when they have been there for each other for the past 12 – 13 years. Can I still see you? Can I still call you sometimes? Can I still find comfort from you? Can we still be friends the way we did? The questions loomed left unquestioned and unanswered. Because they both knew, it would not do anyone any good. Not yet, at least.

“Joohyun…”

“Yes Oppa?”

“Stop crying, please?” he was about to bring his hand to wipe her tears, but it hanged midway. If he crossed this line, would there be any turning back?

She smiled, her hand wiping her own tears.  How sad, she thought. Because all these times, he was her rock. He would come running to her whenever she was sad. He would be the one to dry her tears. Now…what about now?

“I am sorry we did not work out” he smiled bitterly, his hand back to its place. He said it with gritted teeth, trying to suppress how desperate he was.

“I am sorry… I am sorry we want different things” If by the time I am ready and you are still alone, can we try again? She asked in her mind, but did not voice it out because she knew it would cause them both more pain and would make them hang on to empty promises. And she did not want that.

“I was happy Joohyun-ah… The times I spent with you was the happiest… I did not regret anything”

“You make…made…me happy too, Oppa. Thank you… for everything”

They looked at each other, eyes were still teary, but there were genuine smiles on their lips. They were happy with each other, nothing would change that fact.

“If…in the future, when our hearts are healed… Can we be friends again?” he asked, a playful smile on his lips.

Her lips reflected his. “I would love that. When we are okay, we can at least meet each other without any burden.”

He nodded, then. So this is the end, they both thought.

They talked for a little bit more before concluding their conversation because what they wanted at this point was just to curl up on their beds and cried their hearts out. They stood up from their chairs and walked towards the door, in sync, for one last time.

They stood side by side, looking at each other with the saddest smile on their faces.

“Can I hug you for one last time?” he choked, but he needed it.

And she did too.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist as he s his hands on her back. They were trying to savor each other’s warmth, to go through whatever phase they’re going to go through after this. They both knew, it’s gonna take a while before they could face each other again without being reminded by the pain.

They stayed for passing minutes then broke apart because it’s just finally time, and they had to go their separate ways from now on. There was no more us for them. It was just Seo Joo Hyun and Shim Chang Min as individuals after this.

She smiled up to him as he looked down at her.

“Please be happy, Oppa”

He felt a pang, because the reality dawned to him that his happiness would no longer be about her. That it really was over.

“You have to be happy too, Joohyun”

She nodded, oh what to do with this pain, she wondered. But she offered him a smile before stepping back. “I am gonna go now, Oppa” she felt the tears threatening to fall again; she bit the inside of to prevent it from happening.

He gulped, the lump in his throat kept forming and he felt his eyes hot with fresh tears. “Eung… I will go too, then… Good night, Joohyun” he said softly, realizing that this is probably the last time he was going to wish her good night. What would he do from now on though when talking to her in the middle of the night has been his habit for years? He shook his head again at the thought.

“Good night Oppa” she bit her lips, and her feet finally took the step to turn around, her back on him and she could have sworn she wanted so much to turn around again and ran to his arms. But she took a deep breath, wiping her tears, and finally took the first brave step; away from him.

He watched her from afar, watching her walking away from him and his heart was in turmoil once again. He smiled bitterly, looked down, and wiped his own tears before turning around and walked away too.

Goodbye my beautiful love.