A/N: Uff life is hard, sorry for the late update! Thank you all for you lovely comments!

Here's a new chapter and in case you haven't noticed this is unbeta'd we die like men. 

“Ah, just like that…”

 

While our hearts do work through involuntary control, disconnected from conscious thought, it is still very possible to stimulate them through our nervous systems, or through the influx of hormones that are released.

 

“Ugh… …”

 

For example: happiness, surprise, excitement. Emotions likes these quicken your heart rate and makes it beat at shorter intervals.

 

“I.. I’m gonna … , !”

 

Especially during ual .

 

The smell of and cigarrettes lingers in the air, a woman leaned back against the headboard as she exhales the cigarrate’s smoke watching as her ual partner for the night puts her clothes back on.

 

“Leaving so soon? Why not stay the night?”

 

Irene continues buttoning her shirt. “I’ll pass. Morning shift tomorrow, don't wanna be late.”

 

The woman sits up, sheets around her torso, covering her modesty “Something’s off.” She mentions. “You don’t seem like yourself tonight.” She continues. “Veery suspicious. Like you’re fixated on something… or maybe someone…” The woman smirks as the doctor pauses for a second. “Am I right?”

 

“No.” The raven responds, getting her jeans from the floor. “I’m the same as I’ve always been. You can just keep your mouth shut, Hyun.”

 

The woman grins, leaning forward on her knees. “Come on… are you really never going to be faithful to someone someday, like other people?” She asks, bringing the cigarette to her lips. “I mean personally, I’m fine with this lesbian fling thing I have going on, but I don’t think I can do this forever we all have to settle down at some point right? Or maybe… how about we try seriously dating? Eh? We might be actually compatible.” The woman jestered, trying to hide her actual interest behind a joke.

 

Irene internally rolled her eyes, before throwing a pillow to the woman’s face. “Quit spewing nonsense, you floozy. I’m leaving.”

 

—--------------------------

 

A committed relationship?

 

Sure, Joohyun’s been in one of those before.

 

That’s exactly why she can see through this blind charade called ‘love’ infatuation and faithfulness are nothing but fleeting nonsense. A day dream for the weak. One where they believe that said love can get them through anything and everything in life.

 

“Here’s your meal.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Ahem…”

 

The doctor turns around, startled. To see Nurse Jeon looking at her with a flirty smirk.

 

“You seem different today, doctor. Have you stepped up from a single apple to eating sandwiches now?” SHe asks, looking at the tray of food in the doctor’s hands.

 

Joohyun laughs out of politeness. “Haha well… they do look pretty tasty I admit.”

 

Nurse Jeon laughs as if she has just been told the funniest joke in the world. “Are you sitting with anyone else today?” She touches the doctor’s arm. “If you don’t mind perhaps you’d like some company today? It’s lonely sitting all by yourself.” She steps closer. “I’ll even treat you to dessert, if you’d like.”

 

Joohyun clears and take a step back. “Ah.. I honestly do want to take you up on that offer but I’ll have to decline for today.”

 

“Uh!?”

 

“I’ve already made an appointment with some.” She says, already turning to walk out of the cafeteria. “I’m sorry, I really do feel bad about this. Perhaps we can save it for next time?”

 

Nurse Jeon stared dumbfounded as the doctor walks away before huffing in frustation. “Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! She’s literally sleeping with half the hospital and she still has the nerve to reject me…” She huffs again, getting in line to get her food. “This is bull! When I find the nurse from whichever department she’s seeing…”

 

—-----------------------

 

On the other side of the hospital another young woman finds herself huffing and puffing as she walks up a set of stairs.

 

“Are you…” Deep breath. “some sort of…” Breathe. “sadist, doctor?” Wendy takes a couple of deep breaths holding onto the wall. “How far do we have to walk to get to the food you promised?”

 

The raven doctor laughs. “Oh come on, this is nothing. Stop acting like an old lady.” She tells the younger girl. “Walking this short of a distance isn’t going to aggravate your condition.” She says opening the door in front of them. “See?” She gestures outside. “We’re here, that wasn’t far at all was it?”

 

Wendy walks out and the tiredness disappears from her body at the sight in front of her. “Wow! You can see all the way down into the city!”

 

Joohyun looked at her with a fond smile before snapping out of it. “Here.” She said giving her the tray of food she had previously gotten. “As promised.”

 

Wendy takes the food and blinks. “This is a joke right?” She deadpans. “Boxed lunch from the cafeteria, doctor? Really?”

 

“Yeah? What about it?”

 

“This isn’t romantic at all.” Wendy replies. “Bringing a girl to the hospital rooftop to eat cafeteria food… how did you come up with this?”

 

Joohyun laughs. “You said it yourself! Treat me to lunch!” She said, throwing her apple up and down. “I kept my end of the deal. You never specified that I had to make it a date.”

 

Wendy blinks.

 

“Because if it were a date, I’d have to make sure my date was fully content and satisfied obviously.”

 

“Oh…”

 

—---------------------------------

 

“Do you like coming up here, doctor?” Wendy asks, as she took a bite from her ham sandwich. “I don’t think anyone ever does.. it’s quiet.”

 

“I do.” Joohyun replies. “Especially when I want some alone time to think.” She took a bite from her apple as she finished.

 

“Oh, you consider this your own private space?” Wendy asks with curiosity. “So, then, can I consider myself special?” She asked, with a cheeky smile. “Because I know about your secret spot now.”

 

Joohyun almost choked on her apple. “Uhh…”

 

For god’s sake, she’s so…. bright.

 

Wendy continued to smile at her.

 

Like the harsh sun at the height of summer.

“I suppose you could say that.” She replied. “Although about that one you ran up to me…” She looked as Wendy sipped on her juice box. “What was it you were going to ask? Forgive my rudeness back then.”

 

“Oh…” Wendy swallowed. “I was just wondering. I saw you talking to the family of one of your patients.” She leaves the juice box aside and hops onto ventilation rafts.

 

“Careful, don’t get too playful.” Joohyun lectured from the back.

 

“It’s like you don’t feel anything at all when you do it.” Wendy continues, paying the doctor no mind. “That ice-cold poker face, how do you do it? I think it’s because I saw your completely blank, emotionless expression, that I just thought to ask whether or not you’re just doing it because you’re the one in charge of their case. Or if it’s from feeling partially responsible for the loss of said patient and owning up to their family.”

 

Joohyun nods, placing her hand inside her lab coat pocket. “No… not at all.” She replies thoughtfully. “I honestly don’t feel anything, it’s just part of my job.” She looks at the younger girl who is standing on the raft looking at her, her hair flowing softly with the wind. She sighs deeply. “Sometimes it’s hard to explain in a way regular people would understand, but when we’ve already done everything to the best of our ability and still fail to save the patient’s life…” She looks down at her shoes. “All we can do is leave the rest to pure duty. We can’t just dwell on every little thing we do or every mistake we’ve made.”

 

Wendy nods with a small smile. “I don’t think that’s the reason.” She says, softly. “But I think I can understand you. And trusting my instincts has always done me better than trusting my eyes and ears.”

 

“Aright… break’s over.” Joohyun said, standing up and walking toward the younger girl, offering her hand so she could step down carefully. “Time to go back, hold my hand and slowly step down from there. I’ll take you back to you room.”

 

“Aww… but I was just beginning to have fu… WHOA!”

 

“W-WATCH OUT, SEUNGWAN!”

 

“Ufff…”

 

“Ah, damn it, I got clumsy and still fell, sorry about that doctor, are you hurt–” Wendy trails off as she looks up. “Any–where?”

 

“I’m fine.” Joohyun replies, staring down at Wendy, hands still on her waist as if to make sure the younger girls was not going to fall again. “It was just an accident.”

 

Wendy looks down and sees the two are standing veeery close. “Uh.. Uhhh, I- I’m sorry.” She scrambles away. “I’m really, really sorry, I shouldn’t have been so careless.” She rambled. “I should head down and ugh..” She stopped a sharp pain appearing on her chest, hands clutching at her shirt doubling in over. “Nghk…h”

 

“Seungwan?” Joohyun stands up straight.

 

“It– it hurts…” She says, just before collapsing.

 

Joohyun catches her, immediately recognizing her syptoms. “Seungwan!” No response. “! I’m taking you downstairs right now. Seungwan!”

 

—--------------------------------------

 

“You’re going on another trip?”

 

“Yes, dear we’ll be gone longer than usual this time.”

 

“Can you get me a souvenir, dad? I want a whooole bunch of candy!”

 

Her father laughed fondly. “Really, this daughter of mine…” He shook her head. “Fine, fine. We’ll find some candy and dolls for you.”

 

“Be a good girl and listen to your sister while we’re gone. And don’t forget about your medication, Seungwan.”

 

Beep. Beep.

 

“Breaking news: Air Canada Flight A218 suddenly burst into flames and exploded during takeoff. No passengers or crew are expected to have survived.”

 

Beep. Beep.

 

“I don’t think we should let Wannie know about this yet, auntie. The shock might make her condition worse. We should plan the funeral quietly… and find a way to break it to her in the next couple of months.”

 

She opens her eyes and squints them right back closed. The fluorescents harsh light was too strong for her eyes. She feels weak, her body aches all over.

 

“Ugh..”

 

Both Seulgi and Doctor Sojung turn to look at the patient as she struggled to wake up.

 

“Hey! Wannie.” Seulgi rushes to her side, eyes getting teary eyed with a small, relieved smile, carefully taking a hold of her sister’s hand. “It was time you woke up, you little brat.”

 

“Best nap of my life.” Wendy jokes.

 

“You sure looked cozy.”

 

The younger girls sits up slowly, with the help of Seulgi. “How long was I out for?” She asked still getting used to the lights. “I’m hungry Seul, my tummy’s rumbling.”

 

“You just woke up, Wannie.” Seulgi said. “Who are you? Me?”

 

From the other side of room’s window, Doctor Bae stood observing the interaction worry and relief in her features.

 

“Oh Doctor Bae, you’ve been waiting outside the room this whole time?”

 

Irene turns to look at Sojung with a nod. “What’s her condition?”

 

Doctor Sojung sighs. “She was exhibiting some minor symptoms. Nothing to serious just yet.” She shakes her head. “But from what I’ve seen, she might be needing that heart transplant a lot sooner than expected.”

 

Joohyun turns to look at Wendy who seemed to be bickering with Seulgi.

 

I don’t have to be so concerned about this. She’s just one patient. Besides I have no reason to get involved. I’m not even in charge of her case.

 

Joohyun places her hands against the shower wall, her head down in thought as the hot water poured from above her.

 

I need to let it go already… and stop sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

 

“Oho.. so the good doctor really is taking a shower.” Nurse Hyunjung appears behind her with a smirk. “I could get your back for you, if you’d like.”

 

Irene turns around, eyes darkening as Hyunjung removes her towel.

 

“You’re fine with a little company, right?” The nurse enters the shower stall pushing the raven against the wall. “You’ve been looking greally stressed lately. I can help you relax…” She leaned forward. “It’s up all to you, will you let me?”

 

Joohyun grabs her by the waist and turns them around, she’s in control.

 

—---------------------

 

“Is that nurse your girlfriend?”

 

“Jesus!” Joohyun startles and looks beside her to see Wendy leaning on her elbows in the counter, lollipop on .

 

“Aren’t you gonna give her some love? She looks like she’s really pining for your attention.”

 

Joohyun looks at her in question.

 

“Over there.” Wendy gestures with her head. “The redhead. I’ve been watching her, she’s been looking this way every five minutes.” She said. “I’ve kept count.”

 

Just then the nurse turns and looks at the doctor with a smile.

 

Wendy rolls her eyes. “What a sweet smile.” She mumbled.

 

The doctor smiles quickly out politeness before turning back to the young girl. “No.” She replies, taking off her glasses and placing them on her pockets. “You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not with anyone right now.”

 

“Whoa, hey you’re joking right?” Wendy asks in wonder. “A badass like you?”

 

“Yeah. I’m still single.”

 

“But I’ve seen you flirting with her before! Drapped all over each other like that, I was sure you two were dating this whole time…”

 

Joohyun’s eyes narrowed. “No.” She stated. “Anyway what are you doing here?” She asked, changing the subject. “This isn’t a place you should be waltzing your way into. People have jobs to do.”

 

‘“Well, I–”

 

“Get over here, you little brat. I’m taking you back to your room.” Joohyun grabs her by the arm pulling her towards her room.

 

“Huh? Wait…” Wendy protested. “Hold on!”

 

The doctor paid her no mind and continued on her way.

 

“H-hey let go of me! I just wanted to walk around! I wasn’t getting in anyone’s way!”

 

Joohyun gets her inside of her room and Wendy huffs.

 

“Ugh… you are such a control freak.” Seungwan grumbled. “All I wanted to do was get a little exercise and some fresh air.”

 

Joohyun stared at her as the girl rambled on.

 

“You wouldn’t know how boring it is being cooped up all day in a little white room like this anyway. Staying in bed, day after day… I want to ogle nurses too, you know.” She complained. “And get to eat something other than hospital food, for once, everything is tasteless. Get some sun, feel the breeze… y’know?”

 

“Open your mouth.”

 

“Hm!?”

Suddenly a pair of hands is pulling Wendy close, her cheeks blushing as she looks up at the doctor.

 

“Open your mouth.”

 

“M-mh?”

 

“Open it now.”

 

Wendy open .

 

“Good girl.” Joohyun said and Wendy blushed harder. “And where did you get this?” She asked, gesturing to the lollipop. “This is nothing but sugar. You’re not supposed to eat anything other than what the nurses give you.”

 

“Oh come on… it's just one lollipop.” Wendy shrugged. “And besides the convenience store downstairs is there for everyone, it’s not a big deal.”

 

Joohyun stares at her with raised eyebrows.

 

The brunette plops down on the bed. “I’m getting sick of all these rules. No this, no that… I’m starting to think this is more of a prison than a hospital. When can I just live my life like everybody else?”

 

The raven sighs. “If you really want a normal life as bad as you say you do, then sign the contract.” She said, receiving no response. “Why are you refusing the operation when your name’s already on the waiting list?” Joohyun questioned. “There’s a whole world outside the hospital full of things for you to learn and enjoy. Don’t you feel like you’re missing out?”

 

Seungwan exhales, and looks down at her slippers.

 

“Do you understand, doctor, that I’ve been passed around between hospitals basically my whole life?” She begins. “I’ve never had a chance to truly ‘live’ like other kids… I don’t have a lot of friends, and I always need someone to monitor and take care of me. It’s not that I don’t see the value of life. It’s because I know how much it’s worth that I’m doing this… if it’s nature’s plan that I’m not strong or healthy enough to continue existing in this world… I might was well accept it and make the most of the time I do have left.”

 

Joohyun watched as the girl stood up and walk towards her window, opening the blinds, and opening the window to let some air in.

 

“I just don’t want to spend the rest of my days in a cycle of being confined to a bed or an operating table.” SHe shrugged. “But who knows? If it’s you then I might reconsider.” She finished, turning around.

 

At this Joohyun blinked and frowned in question. “Huh?”

“If I agree to the transplant operation, will you be the one to do it?”