it takes a lot of adjustment to get used to a new thing. when you experienced something for the first time, like eating ice cream for the first time, it's cold but you continue because it tastes good. for me, it's not being able to see anything. unfortunately, there's nothing good in seeing nothing but darkness. and to think i thought it's a good idea to risk it.

i constantly bump on things; the sofa, the TV, my door, basically anything that i don't see, even mom or dad. they told me i'll get used to it, that soon, i'll memorize where things are placed and it would be a little easier.

i do wish things will get better.

i haven't been okay since yesterday. she didn't even say anything, she just retreated and ran away from a monster like me. a part of me knew that this would happen but maybe i was wrong to expect that she can accept someone like me. but, she's open to things that are bizarre, we've talked about it before... but how can she leave just like that?

i don't want to cry anymore, i want to be mad. now that i can't see anything, i can barely do anything. i can't go out alone, i can't write, i can't read, i can't even check if she messaged me but maybe i should stop waiting for her to do so.

"mom, i didn't think she'd leave me." i felt a hand on my shoulder.

"we thought so, too. i'm sorry, saku." i put my hand over hers and held it.

"yo