Chansung looked the most upset of all. He had been excited when Jay agreed to play along with the sports meet. Now it wasn’t just him, Junho, Kwon, and Seulong that we had to rely on. They had a fifth member, but all that faded into the dust now.

Today was the first day of three for the Meet. Event: Track and Field. The rest of the guys had to fill in somewhere, along with the girls. There were a lot of us, but not that many field events either, and none of us were really that gifted in sports. A fact we liked to stress more than enough. True, we hid behind the excuse that we were art students, but it was also true that our interests lay elsewhere. Sports not being one of them.

The Meet was kicked off by one of the Co-Ed school’s, Alexander Eusebio, running around the track with the torch thing. We were this year’s host apparently. I never even knew. Most of us just hung around the bleachers not really doing anything. Sure we should have been moving around, handling equipment and entertaining guests, but one really can’t expect that from us.

Besides, the As were all over it. I haven’t even seen a C since this morning. Which was good in a sense. I still didn’t have what G.O was asking for.

“Miss Gahee and Miss Jungah’s going to kill us.” I heard from behind me.

“Don’t worry too much Jooyeon, I’m sure we’ll find a solution...I hope.”

“Nana, UEE isn’t here yet, she’s our star player!”

“Raina’s already calling her, I’m sure it’s just traffic or something...”

Obviously it was not something I could interfere with, but at least I knew where Jooyeon was at the moment. Oh well. Might as well. I sent G.O a quick text telling her Jooyeon was going to be passing by the cafeteria corner in a few moments. That should be enough redemption for me now.

Now all I needed was to find some way to get to Jay. Something that proved harder than it seemed to be. Jay’s habitual absences were getting more and more frequent as the semester rolled around. No one knew what he was up to, and that was bad for me. I was still his dance partner, and more often than not I found myself dancing on my own. Which was not fun, and I didn’t even like to dance.

I watched with half-hearted interest at the track game on the field. Most of the guys and some of the girls were there. Cs didn’t have a lot of representatives, usually Seungri, G.O, Joon, and Seungho. For the girls, they hardly ever participated. It was usually Hyoyeon from A who was the star athlete. Min and Jia come a close second. Jessica’s younger sister Krystal was a usual bet too, and Minho. Most of us just laid back and watched or finished what remained of our unfinished outputs.

Like that essay for Writing Class.

Something I did not want to be reminded of. It was due tomorrow, I know, in the middle of the Meet, Ms. Ami required the three of us to show up, pass the paper, and recite a part of it.

I had about two words done.

At times like these it was best to get your priorities straight. Okay, Jay, G.O, then Writing Class. Not necessarily in that order, but I had my list. Why was it so hard to even begin writing that paper? When it came right down to it, I really didn’t even have to think much for it. There were always safe answers that teachers easily accept in these kinds of essays, and I was pretty sure that Ms. Ami wouldn’t even pay as much attention to it. That, and I didn’t honestly think that G.O and Seunghyun would have anything profound to say.

I was only in that class because I had nowhere else to go. It wasn’t as if I chose to be in this school. Not as if I was even asked if I wanted to go here. Everything had already been preset, and regardless of how well or how badly I did during the auditions, even during class in itself, I was never going to be rejected. Even IDOL itself had no choice but keep me here.

Suddenly the grounds started looking bleak as students poured in. Bored, I left the bleachers and proceeded to my spot on the fire escape, my notebook tucked safely under my arm. From here I could clearly see the clear blue sky- it was almost offensive in a sense. It’s azure expanse insulting the darker mood I had found myself in. Clouds littered the sky, big cotton-candy puffs and the stringy stragglers that stuck to the wheel dotted each other as they floated leisurely way up there. Somehow, I am reminded why I hated summer after all.

I untied the leather string on my notebook and leafed through the heavy vellum until I reached the last page I had written in. Thick fountain pen in hand, I began scribbling down random things, random thoughts. Maybe later in the night I might find something I can add to that paper. It shouldn’t be that hard slapping something up for class.

Jay and G.O can wait.

…

“Honey, keep your back straight.”

I did as I was told. That night my parents had guests over, mostly CEOs from entertainment agencies. They were looking for business deals obviously, and my being here was more of proper conduct than anything else. I still had to work on that paper, but using that as an excuse would only open up the fact that I didn’t have it done yet when it’s due tomorrow. I kept the neutral smile on my face all throughout dinner. It was just teeth, but I didn’t think they noticed at all.

I stared blankly at my parents as they conducted their business over dinner. Why they had to do this here? I had no idea. I guess it was so they could somehow display some form of affluence and credibility as if they haven’t enough.

Though it appeared as if I had my hands folded neatly on my lap, I actually had my phone with me. My parents would kill me if they found out, but I was feeling deviant. I was bored and I hated these kinds of gatherings.

Deviance was becoming a recurring theme in my life, and who else do I blame and...and eventually go to but Jay Park. In the end I sent him a message. He didn’t show up at all today, and I was determined to find him just to maybe prove a point. What that was, I’ll just have to get back to you.

Where do you live? I’ll go get you.

Of course that wasn’t exactly what I was expecting from Jay. Okay, so the thought may have crossed my mind, but I didn’t think it would actually come to life. As much as this was turning into some princess fantasy I’ve had since I was five, I was honestly scared. I was scared of the consequences. I was afraid of being caught and being a disappointment to my parents. There was Ian to consider as well. Fun.

Now all I had to do was weigh my options. On one hand, there was homework. On the other hand, there was Jay.

It was a very easy decision.

“Mom, could I please be excused? I have to re-edit my homework.”

I felt my mother’s eyes go over me and I shrank back into my seat. I know it was meant as a look of neutrality as one was supposed to do when you’re talking to another person, but it didn’t feel that way. Not right now. I’m guessing this was what they called guilt.

She nodded at me, and I paid my respects to the various guests on the table and left for my room. I’ve never actually sneaked out of my own house before, so I had no real idea what I was supposed to do, but I considered myself a smart person. I was sure I would figure something out.

I walked past several of the staff, mostly avoiding their eyes just as much as they did mine. It was weird having this many people in the house and not even talk to them. I wanted to, but they would always speak formally and never look me in the eyes. I went up into my room, and into my closet- I knew I should change out of this dress, but into what? Eventually I settled for some shorts and a shirt plus some sneakers. When it doubt, dress down. Or so my philosophy went.

I sought out Butler Lee down the kitchen, now thankful for the numerous passageways in the house. There was one that lead straight into the kitchen without passing through the receiving and dining area. I found him with the other maids, just sitting on high stools on the counter top. Surprised to see me there, the staff flustered to get up from their seats. I had to bite the insides of my cheek. Why did they have to do that?

“Butler Lee, I need a favor.”

He bowed slightly and stepped towards me and opened the door behind me. I followed him out to the narrow corridor, and he looked at me expectantly. “What is is Miss?”

Great. Now what? “I-” I stuttered a little bit on my words, but the middle-aged man was patient. My mother liked to remind me that the Lees had always been with out family. Butler Lee had been taking care of me since I was born. “I need a favor.” I whispered what I needed from him, and his eyes grew into something in between shock and amusement.

He smiled and nodded. We separated ways after that.

In a matter of minutes I was called down again, passing through the back door, and out of the gates, where Jay was waiting for me. He leaned back against his red coupe. Why was I not surprised?

“Wow. You...are something else.” he said, looking up at my parents’ house.

A cool night wind brushed up against my cheeks, and I tossed my head to get rid of the hair in my face. I pulled out the elastic I kept on my wrist and put my hair up in a ponytail, “You need to see Taec’s house. Minji’s too.”

“I did.”

Oh. Somehow, this left me feeling just a little bit unsettled. Jay was quiet the whole ride, I wanted to ask him where he was earlier today, but I didn’t know exactly how I was going to get that into the nonexistent conversation. I watched the lights pass by us as we sped to wherever we were supposed to go. This was what was going to get in trouble one day. I never ask the right questions when I should.

“Uhm. Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s Nichkhun’s birthday, did you forget or something?”

Nichkhun’s birthday? I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes. How could I have forgotten? Was today already the 25th? I heard Jay laughing, and I groaned out loud. “What.”

“Nothing.”

“Where were you today?”

“I knew you’d miss me.”

I dropped my hands to look at him, “Jay.”

He shrugged, “Not the first time. I don’t really need a reason to skip class.”

Maybe not you, but I needed to know why. It didn’t look like he was going to answer, so I just dropped the issue altogether. I was sure I would find out eventually.

We reached Khun’s house, and needless to say, everyone was there. Everyone. Jay walked in with his usual swagger, and I just found myself lagging behind him. There was something about Jay Park, something inexplicable, something dangerously mysterious that I knew I should be avoiding. It was Ian had been warning me about. There was just something there that I couldn’t quite put a label to.

Taec and Minji were on one side of the room, surprisingly or not, Junho and Wooyoung were with them. I walk towards them, thinking Jay was going to do the same, but instead he turns towards the sides and straight towards Khun and Junsu.

Seulong was next to me in no time, and he had that face plastered on. “I can’t believe you came here with Jay.”

I ignored him and sat next to Taec, “You didn’t even call me?”

He shrugged, “I thought you knew.”

Loud bass beats pulsated in the air as several of our classmates, as well as some As danced in the middle of the room. I craned my neck to look for Khun again- I might as well wish him a happy birthday. I found him to one corner of the large lawn where the whole party was set-up. He looked...unhappy about something. Like he was terribly disappointed with something. I saw Victoria approach him, and it seemed as if his mood fouled even more. He was smiling in an instant though.

“What’s wrong with Khun?”

Taec followed my line of sight and shrugged again, “Who knows. He’s been in and out of it since we got here.”

“Ask Junsu. He knows something.” Minji suddenly added.

Taec and I looked at her incredulously. Minji was not the type to pry into other’s lives- much unlike us. “Junsu?”

“Smelly and I were working on our song when Khun called him. They were talking about something. Something fishy.”

Something fishy? Why would Khun talk to Junsu about anything? Not that they didn’t get along, but they weren’t exactly the best of friends either. Why not Wooyoung? I took a step to walk over to them, but Junho was suddenly in my path.

“Did you get your essay done?”

Damn. How did he even know about that?!

[A/N]: Okay. So a few days ago I was heavily considering the option of leaving AFF. I was thisclose to it. Obviously I'm still here so we can let that issue die a natural death. I suppose we can call it Writer's Block? I don't know. I've been feeling under the weather lately, and not even I now why. Oh well. I haven't written anything in almost a week, and it was torture getting this out. If its total crud, I apologize. I just need to remember how fun this is again.

Anyway, Catharsis has been taking what attention and energy I have, so...check it out? Yeah. Uhm. Updates will still be here and there. I thought about abandoning this fic, but the outline's already complete and I have my ending, so no abandonment. Hope you'll all be patient with the now temperamental author. =]