That Monday was not something I looked forward to.

“Ahjussi, drop me off a few blocks from school again today, okay?” I told my driver. I couldn't come to school with Ian anymore to avoid any issues with the school board so I was forced to finally concede to my mother's wishes and take the car. I would still rather come with Ian any day, but it was really near impossible given the circumstances.

“Yes, miss.”

I didn't actually know which driver this one was as my mother shuffled between a large number of staff she rotated every few months, but he was nicer than most, and he didn't question why I asked him what I just did.

I pressed down the pleats of my skirt as we passed by various buildings that served as my points of reference. There were a number of issues that I was not willing to face this new week. The most blaring of which was today being Jay's birthday. I couldn't stop thinking about how Taec's, and by extension, our gift for him would affect him and the pseudo-relationship we had in our little table. My pseudo-relationship with Jay was peaceful by far. He was my dance partner after all, and he had been a little more receptive to Taec and my helping him with his Korean, but was it really time for the gifts?

Taec's argument remained clear and very convincing despite my protests. It was his birthday, plain and simple. There need not be any other reason for it, yet it wouldn't seem to leave me alone. Especially since said birthday present was pink. Probably the one thing about the whole birthday present issue that bothered me the most was the fact that the hoodie we had gotten him was pink.

The car finally stopped at a corner exactly three blocks away from the main gate and I exited the vehicle making sure no one would see me. I closed the the door shut, and turned to make way, hiking my book bag higher on my shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

If I yelped a very girly yelp and jumped in a very comic jump, blame Lee Junho for choosing to pop up at the most random of times. He had suddenly appeared from the corner, and he stood there in front of me as my car slowly accelerated away. With the bored look he always wore, he regarded me and my stunned kitten state. What exactly was I going to say to him?

“School's over there.” He said, pointing towards the opposite direction I was facing.

Oh.

Embarrassed, I could only turn around and slowly walk the other way. Junho easily matched my pace as I walked, and together, we made our way to the school in silence. I was thankful he didn't press the matter further, although he really wasn't the type to either. In the years (two, to be exact) that I've known him, Junho and I, I guess you could say, shared a silent understanding of one another. Or at least, that was how it was in my head. Unlike Taec and I, even Minji and I, who had some contact outside of class, Junho I had never seen outside school. I don't think I've ever seen him wearing something other than his uniform, or if he were in casual clothes, we would still be in the school setting.

Mystery? Not really. I suppose he just wasn't the type of person. Then again, it's not as if any of us tried to ask him out with us. Taec had tried a couple of times, but Junho would always politely decline the invitation stating he had previous engagements he needed to attend to. After a few more rejects, Taec eventually gave up, and we all just resigned to hanging out with him in school. We spend more than enough time in that place anyway.

“Are you coming to Min and Fei's party?” I asked as we rounded another corner that led to IDOL's main gate.

He shrugged. “I don't know. Might be busy.”

“It's a Saturday night, and I-We've never seen you- I mean, you've, you don't...” I groaned at my inability to form an intelligible sentence. I was about to ask him the following: why he wasn't coming, why we never see him outside school, why he doesn't attend come to any of our events, and that he should because it's out last year. Right. Now to actually say it.

I turned to him again to try again, but the words in my mouth dived back into my throat when I saw the amused expression on his face. The usual poker face he wore was replaced with a small almost charming smile and his eyes were alight with a silent laughter I wished would never go away.

“I'll think about it,” he said.

Think about what?

Oh. Right.

The party. Min and Fei's party. And now walking. School gate. ID. Building. Classroom.

Ugh.

Because the omnipotent beings out there watching over me had bestowed me with their mercy, Junho and I made our way to our classroom without me embarrassing myself any further than I already had. We took our respective seats, and as soon as my bag hit the floor, a feeling that something was not so right washed over me.

Jay wasn't here yet.

Granted, I never confirmed the fact that he was an early bird like the rest of us. Minji and Taec were already in their seats when Junho and I arrived. Taec greeted us with his usual toothy grin, and Minji, as always, was asleep.

…

Jay was late for class today, but that was assuming he was going to show up. Taec had a slightly concerned expression on his face as he snuck glances towards the door during first and second period. And I, despite myself, found myself a touch concerned as well, but not really. It was his birthday after all and some people saw that as the perfect excuse to not come to class.

The worry however carried on to lunch period when even Min made a trip to our table to ask about him. “Did you guys call him yet?” she asked.

That was when we realized that none of us had Jay's number. We didn't even know where he lived, or anything else about it.

“You're friends, aren't you?”

Min's words shouldn't have had to hit as hard as they did. Wasn't I the one who tried to convince Taec that Jay was not someone we really should concern ourselves with? Why were we even as worried about him as we were? It wasn't like we were friends...were we? Weren't we worrying about him right now? Didn't that indicate something...more?

…

For our second period writing class Ms. Amihan gave us a rather odd seatwork. She handed out passes to Seunghyun, Byunghee, and to me, and instructed us to go find a spot around school and just write then meet up back in our classroom when the period was up. That was how I found myself up here on the top level of the fire escape overlooking the school grounds. It was either here or on top of a tree, but the latter choice wasn't exactly conducive to writing.

Ms. Amihan didn't give us a topic to write about and told us to just write freely about whatever came to mind as we spent more time at whichever spot we chose. Now the question was, what was I going to write about? What was the correct answer to that? What did Ms. Amihan want from us? Her teaching methods were slightly unorthodox, and while I enjoyed it, it caused a few problems with my usual topics of exposition. She stealthily demanded raw and intense emotion from us as she would often talk about letting go when we would write our first drafts.

Her first word of advice was to keep writing, and her second first word of advice, was to write about what you know. The former I understood, the latter not so much. What exactly did she mean by what you know?

Eventually the voices in my head took over once again, and I found myself writing furiously on my writing tablet. I don't exactly remember what I had written by the end of the period, just that there was one thought that plagued me the entire time.

Jay did not show up for class today.