What is love? For some people, it is something magical. The wonders of our first and last love is a long destination towards a happy ending. For others, it can also be pain and hurt. Someone you miss and love can become a stranger overnight. What happens when you no longer feel what you feel yesterday? What is love really?


            For Seulgi, love was a meaningless hobby. Young people are getting disenchanted with marriage and love. They marry later, they are okay with being single, they are okay without love. After all, you don’t need love to survive, not really. But it is a fact of life that love will eventually find you when you least expect it and it changes. Love transforms from into curiosity and then into interest and then into an addiction. From a meaningless hobby, love for Seulgi has become laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling fan with lights turned off. It becomes an opium for the mind and it makes us crazy. You keep looking at your phone, waiting for updates on their social media. You go to places you think they might appear or you see that person everywhere. The worst thing about addiction is that it makes you a different person. When you get a dose of it and it goes away, it makes you do crazy things.

 

            Crazy things like stealing your brother’s phone and telling him that you accidentally flushed his phone down the toilet bowl. Garam had finally let it go when Seulgi bought the latest iphone for him. In her spare time, she stares silently at the messages Seungwan had sent to ‘Garam’, not knowing what to reply. In her other phone, she stalks Seungwan’s social media but her best friend doesn’t update much. Jisoo seems to be avoiding her all the time now. She wonders where did it all went wrong. Seulgi plops down on her pillow and flails her limbs around as her imagination wanders wildly. What if Seungwan and Jisoo becomes a serious couple? What if Seulgi packs for the Jeju trip and Seungwan announces that Jisoo and her are getting married? What if one day, she goes to Seungwan’s bakery and Jisoo is there, wearing the apron as the husband of the couple’s bakery?
             

            Did I mention that love makes you do crazy things? Seulgi picks up Garam’s old phone and shakily types in a reply.


GARAM
Hi Wendy, sorry for the late reply. I lost my phone and contacts.


            Seulgi presses send and instantly regrets it but at the same time, she didn’t know what to do. She tries to delete the messages but it’s too late. Seungwan is already typing a reply.

WENDY
Hi, hyung. Wow, it’s been over a month.

GARAM
Yeah.

WENDY
Couldn’t you just get my number from Seulgi?

GARAM
I just a bought a new phone.

WENDY
Oh, you went phoneless and off grid for a month?

GARAM
Yeah.

WENDY
How about email?

GARAM
I lost my email address.

WENDY
Facebook?

GARAM
I forgot the password.

WENDY
Hyung… if you are not interested in me, you don’t have to make up excuses.

GARAM
No, no. I’m super interested. You are the most interesting person to me.

WENDY
Well… I’m kind of seeing another person now so…

GARAM
No! Don’t see her!

WENDY
How did you know it’s a her?

GARAM
Uh… lucky guess?

WENDY
Seulgi told you?

GARAM
I… don’t know?

WENDY
Is that why you are texting now? It’s a little too late though…

GARAM
Is it serious?

WENDY
What is?

GARAM
You and the other person.

WENDY
Not yet. She said she wanted to take things slow.


            Seulgi rolls around her bed, a little happy but also a little salty at the news. She contemplates a little about her next move when suddenly Seungwan is requesting a video call. Seulgi panics and reject the call immediately.


WENDY
Why are you rejecting the call?

GARAM
Uh… I haven’t showered. I smell right now.

WENDY
I can’t smell you over the phone.

GARAM
My room is messy.

WENDY
Go to the living room.

GARAM
I have bad bed hair.

WENDY
Hmph.

GARAM
Hold on.

 

            Seulgi runs to her closet and puts on her wig and throws on some clothes before running out to the balcony. She calls Seungwan this time and a familiar face greets her. A second face with creepy overcast shadows and squinting eyes slides in slowly from the side, staring at ‘Garam’.   


WENDY
Hey, hyung! This is Jisoo.

JISOO
Hi… ‘Garam’.

GARAM
Uh… ahahaha, hi?

JISOO
What’s wrong, Garam? You seem nervous.

GARAM
I am? Must be the heatwave.

WENDY
It’s really cold though?

JISOO
Yeah, is that cold sweat I’m seeing?

WENDY
Do you guys know each other? Jisoo asked me to video call you when she saw me texting you.

GARAM
No!

JISOO
You sure? I think I’ve seen you around Seulgi’s house before.

GARAM
Yes?! I think I recall now. It was last year during New Year, right?

JISOO
Hmm… maybe.

GARAM
Wait a minute, why are you both together? Is Seungwan staying at your place?

JISOO
No!

GARAM
You sure? I think the interior décor looks familiar.

JISOO
Yes?! She’s just visiting!

 

            Jisoo and Seulgi does a Clint Eastwood cowboy stare off at each other through the video call and Wendy just does her a little sing song, unaware of the secret face off happening.


WENDY
Wait a minute, how do you know what Jisoo’s place looked like?


            Unfortunately, the both of them aren’t really Clint Eastwood but really, the sheriff that gets shot in the opening of the scene. They both fumbled their replies at the same time.


GARAM
Seulgi brought me over to visit before!

JISOO
He delivered clothes when Seulgi had a sleepover here!

WENDY
Huh?

GARAM
Yeah, what she said! I delivered clothes when I visited with Seulgi!

JISOO
Yeah what he said! He visited with clothes when he delivered Seulgi!

WENDY
Wha…?

GARAM
Anyway, how about that weather, huh? Hahahaha.

JISOO
It sure is hot these days! Ahahaha.

WENDY
It’s really cold though? Why are you guys acting so weird? It’s not like you both dated before.


            Jisoo and Seulgi started coughing vigorously and avoiding eye contact at the sharp question. Jisoo catches a glance of Seulgi flushed expression and she suddenly has an idea. She places the camera further against the wall and link arms with Wendy and her left-hand wander up to Wendy’s thighs. Seulgi makes a little gasp and her body shakes at the sudden skin ship. Wendy got momentarily confused at the sudden affection too, but she accepts it.


JISOO
What’s wrong, Garam? You don’t look too well.

GARAM
I thought you guys are taking it slow?

JISOO
We are… taking it so… slow.


            Jisoo Wendy’s inner thigh slowly with each enunciation of her sentence and Wendy blushes. Seulgi plops down sideways and stare at the couple dizzily through the video call.


WENDY
Hyung, are you alright?

GARAM
I’m good. Very good. Life is great. Breathing is fun.

WENDY
Anyway, what’s up, hyung? Why did you text me today?

GARAM
I was going to ask you out but since you h…ha…hav…have… someone you are serious with now…

WENDY
Oh, we’re not serious yet. Jisoo said she just got out of a long relationship so we’re just taking things slow.

GARAM
Well… good luck, guys. You guys look cute together. Jisoo will go far with you.

 

            Seeing Seulgi’s reaction, Jisoo can’t help but feel a little guilty and releases her grip on Wendy. She pauses for a bit before replying.


JISOO
Everything is fair in love, Garam. I wouldn’t mind a fair competition if it’s with you.

WENDY
Woah, I feel like such a prize now. I don’t know if I got the energy to date multiple people though.

GARAM
It’s okay, Jisoo. I know you’re someone who gets serious quickly.

WENDY
How do you know that?

GARAM
Uh… just a guess? She seems like a serious person.

JISOO
I’m not. I’m totally cool with casual.

GARAM
Really?

JISOO
I am.

GARAM
It doesn’t seem that way though.

JISOO
I.SAID.I.AM.COOL.

GARAM
By cool, you mean you totally won’t get hurt if your casual partner found somebody else?

WENDY
I agree with hyung. Jisoo seems like a big softy inside.

JISOO
I’m a very cool modern 21^st century lady who can handle casual relationships because people need to experiment more so that they can learn about their inner selves and to be able to decipher the best type of partner they can want and have.

GARAM
Woah, what’s with that rap?

WENDY
It’s okay if you are old fashion. I like old fashion.

JISOO
Urgh, both of you. Just go! Go for another date. I’m fine. You can decide who suits you better, after.

WENDY/GARAM
Don’t I get a say in this?
 
JISOO
No, you don’t. Both of you don’t.

 

            Seulgi perks up at the suggestion while Wendy is just staring blurrily at Jisoo, confused about the entire setting of this conversation.


JISOO
But Seulg- I mean Seulgi’s brother, if Wendy chooses me after that, you don’t have any complains right?

GARAM
No! I won’t. Thank you!

WENDY
I don’t like this… but if this is what you want then…

JISOO
It is. I think I have a debt I need to repay before I can start a clean slate.

WENDY
Huh? I don’t understand what you mean.

GARAM
Nobody owes anybody anything, Jisoo.  It doesn’t always have to be a zero-sum game.

JISOO
Doesn’t it? Even one person more is too crowded in a world of two, Seulgi…’s brother.
 

GARAM
I…


            ‘Garam’ seems to be thinking hard about his next reply and Jisoo knows all too well to not to get her hopes up.

GARAM
I wish you all the best, Jisoo.

JISOO
And I, you.

For a second, Seulgi and Jisoo shares a look of sadness between them. Wendy senses the mood and begins to feel suspicious about their conversation.
 

WENDY
You guys know something that I don’t and its making me anxious!

GARAM
DO WE?

JISOO
WE DO?

GARAM
I’m just talking about the weather!

JISOO
And me, my house mortgage!

WENDY
???

 

            Before Wendy can grill the two of them, Jisoo quickly says bye and hangs up the phone. When she turns around, Wendy is uncomfortably close to her face and inspecting her expression.


WENDY
What was that?

JISOO
Nothing. What was what?

WENDY
That weird mood.

JISOO
The mood was very normal.

WENDY
Tell me honestly, did Garam and you used to date?

JISOO
Of course not.


            Jisoo lies as naturally as she breathes but at the same time, her eyes shift all over the place. Well technically, it’s true. Garam and Jisoo are two complete strangers. Wendy wouldn’t let up however, thanks to Jisoo’s bad acting.


WENDY
Then what’s the deal between you two?

JISOO
The deal is… I’m not sure. Honestly, I didn’t know if there was a deal or not in the first place and that’s the deal.

WENDY
I don’t understand.

 

            Wendy wanted to pry more but Jisoo looks a little crestfallen so she decided to not push on. Garam wasted no time and had texted her immediately to a dinner date tonight at the diner they had been to before. A whirlpool of negativity pools in Jisoo’s stomach and she feels as though she is split into many pieces. A part of her is scared of Wendy taking away Seulgi and another, afraid of Seulgi taking away Wendy. Although a lot of the initial heartache were dampened over the weeks, she still feels like a vulnerable little girl making bad decisions. While Wendy is texting ‘Garam’ back, Jisoo grabs Wendy’s phone and toss it to the edge of the bed and stare deeply into her eyes.


JISOO
Don’t text him in front of me.

WENDY
What? I’m confused. Didn’t you ask me to go out with hyung?

JISOO
I did.

WENDY
Then what are you-

JISOO
Don’t text him in front of me.

 

            Wendy smiles at the jealous girl and pats her head gently. Jisoo snuggles up to her neck in response and wraps her arms around Wendy.


JISOO
Have you ever been with a woman before?

WENDY
Honestly, no.

JISOO
So I’ll be your first kiss.

WENDY
Also, no. My first kiss with a girl went to Yeri.

JISOO
WHAT?!

WENDY
It’s a long story. You should hear it from Yerim. I’m sure she will love to tell you that story.

JISOO
Why? Was it embarrassing?

WENDY
Incredibly. For her.

JISOO
You can tell me later.

WENDY
Hm.

JISOO
Are you still mad I asked you to go out with Garam?

WENDY
A little.

JISOO
Will this help?

 

            Jisoo starts kissing Wendy’s neck slowly from the side to center. She starts with small pecks and goes into wetter kisses. She feels Wendy caressing her back approvingly and Jisoo shift from her position to straddle Wendy, all the while with their eyes locking onto each other.


JISOO
Can I kiss you?

WENDY
Yes but make it good.

JISOO
What a fussy customer.


            Jisoo smiles and runs both her hands over Wendy’s hair down to the back of her neck and pulls her in closer. A touch of sweet oak perfume hits Jisoo and she swallows the smell. Their lips meet and Jisoo starts off slowly, savoring the taste of each kisses. She can feel Wendy being stiff and frozen. Jisoo recalls Wendy saying that she’s not very experienced in intimacy, so Jisoo takes more initiative.


JISOO
Do you want to try kissing me?

WENDY
Yes, please.

 

            Wendy imitates what Jisoo was doing to her before and Jisoo responded by engaging back every time Wendy backs off a little. Each time a little different, as if she were giving Wendy a lesson in kissing. Wendy is a fast learner and she repeats the cycle of a shoulder kiss to the neck up to the chin and to a single lip kiss and a gentle lip bite. Jisoo smiles proudly and she goes for a deeper kiss. She gently coaxes Wendy with small pecks and until Wendy meets her tongue with hers. It feels soft, delicate and supple. Jisoo hears Wendy breathing faster and she feels a small heat in her lower body.

 

            There’s a certain innocence to Wendy that appeals so much to Jisoo. If Seulgi is an animalistic spirit, then Wendy is a singular pure white poeny blooming in Spring. Every intimacy they share felt like she was slowly corrupting Wendy but at the same time, it is this exact feeling that is driving Jisoo crazy now. Every moment that Wendy is reciprocating, Jisoo has an urge to take her right there and then. She can barely contain herself when Wendy moans her name and she starts grinding on top of Wendy slowly. Wendy kisses back harder at the reaction and pulls Jisoo’s hip closer. Their rhythm matches up eventually and Jisoo moans softly at the ragged friction. She pushes Wendy down and interlock their hands together. In that moment, she sees Wendy looking back at her with messy hair, smudged lipstick and a tenuous look in her eyes. Wendy exhales a little, as if to invite Jisoo for more and Jisoo quickly plays her ‘make-out’ playlist on her speaker with her phone.


WENDY
Isn’t it too late for make out music now?

JISOO
It helps to get us in the mood.

WENDY
I’m in the mood already.

JISOO
It’ll be good. Trust me!

WENDY
It’s only good for you.

JISOO
Don’t knock it till you try it.

WENDY
You’re a fine girl by Looking Glass? Really?

JISOO
What’s wrong with Looking Glass?

WENDY
Nothing. It’s just really old school.

JISOO
No, it’s not.

WENDY
Don’t you have something normal like Lauv or Nujabes?

JISOO
Those are for long walks and housework, like laundry or mopping.

WENDY
How is Lauv for mopping the floor?

JISOO
Stop judging my playlist!

WENDY
I’m judging your situational taste in music.

JISOO
I have The Mamas & Papas too.

WENDY
Are you an old man?

JISOO
Shut up.

 

            Jisoo laughs and continues making out with Wendy. The smell and taste of Wendy is so intoxicating that she is unable to stop, and she starts to grind Wendy again. Before long, she feels the heat rising from small embers into a campfire. Jisoo stops kissing Wendy and buries her head into her nape, focusing only her lower body. Wendy moans softly and calls out her name again and Jisoo whispers to Wendy to do it again. And so Wendy did, she whispers Jisoo’s name to her ear over and over again with how good it feels. After quite a while, the couple builds up tempo before fatigue sets in and their motions become long and slow. Jisoo can feel the fireworks build up into small continuous burst and she feels the numbness spread from her legs to her waist and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to control the shaking in her legs. Jisoo feels herself dipping into the doe eyes and slipping away but Wendy’s playful bite brings her back.


WENDY
Wow, you’re a selfish lover.

JISOO
It’s your fault for being so hot.

WENDY
I thought I’m supposed to be the inexperienced one.

JISOO
I haven’t used all my tricks.

WENDY
Why not use them now?


            Jisoo wants too, so much but she keeps recalling Seulgi’s face over the video call. There’s nothing more in the world that she wants than to take Wendy now, but she couldn’t do that to Seulgi. They both share a long look before Jisoo is finally able to swallow herself and she gets off Wendy.


JISOO
Come find me after your date with Garam, I’ll show you everything.

WENDY
Aw, what a tease. Aren’t you afraid I’ll pick him over you?

JISOO
She’s a stupid bear. I’m confident you’ll pick me.

WENDY
She?

JISOO
I mean he! Anyway, bring your ipod next time. Show me your make out playlist, I bet it's not even that good.

WENDY
First of all, my taste in music is impeccable and secondly, no one uses ipod anymore. Are you an old man?

JISOO
I’m not an ajusshi!

WENDY
I know, hehe. You’re a fine girl.

 

            Wendy starts singing to the lyrics of You’re a Fine Girl by Looking Glass.


The sailors say, "Jisoo, you're a fine girl."
"What a good wife you would be."
"Yeah, your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea."

            Jisoo sings the last line back to her.


"But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea."

            For the first time in a while, Jisoo feels a pure happiness from just receiving love from Wendy. But she can’t help but feel a small tinge of guilt eating at her. A part of her is still in love with Seulgi and another part is falling for Wendy. The last line of the song keeps calling out to her.


"But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea."