Mina was gay. Like, really gay.

 

Over the last year, a lot of acquaintances had asked her how she knew (mostly people who were struggling with their own uality), what it felt like, and a thousand more questions she was happily willing to answer as long as they didn’t cross any boundaries. But she always avoided one.

 

Myoui Mina found out about her attraction towards women when she was 12 years-old at a mixed slumber party. About 10 kids were playing spin the bottle, only because it was something they knew kids older than them played.

 

Her turn was the first case of the bottle landing on a person of the same gender as the spinner. She doubted for a second but decided to follow through to seem mature and like it wasn’t a big deal, when she was screaming on the inside.

 

She was about to have her first kiss, with another woman. Not any woman, her best friend.

 

The second her lips met Minatozaki Sana’s something within her changed. It lasted less than 5 seconds, but it turned her world upside down in a way she had never thought possible before. When they retreated, she acted as if she hadn’t encountered the most fantastic and euphoric feeling ever and went back to her place, where she barely managed to stay for a couple more rounds before leaving in bafflement.

 

Mina ran to the bathroom and locked the door, only letting tears of confusion and anger (mostly towards herself) fall along her cheeks once she settled on the cold floor with her back on the wooden door.

 

She was aware of Sana’s beauty, everyone was, but why was she feeling something on her lower stomach that she couldn’t get rid of? Before she could allow her thoughts to attack her mind more, she heard the melody of knocking on the door; a rhythm she and Sana had come up with to know the other was the one behind the door.

 

“Occupied.” Mina thought that maybe, just maybe, Sana would leave if she acted cold, but her friend was too good to do that.

 

“Mina, you know it’s me.” Sana was struggling, she thought she knew, she was almost sure, but what if she didn’t and she had gotten it all wrong? “Please, let me in.”

 

“I’m peeing. I’ll be out in a sec’” 'Liar.'

 

“Please, open the door.”

 

“I said I’ll be right out!” Mina spoke a little louder than intended.

 

“I felt it too.” She hushed as close to the door gap as she could.

 

Silence.

 

A silence so loud almost the whole street heard it.

 

Mina unlocked the door and opened it just enough so Sana could fit through the gap. She didn’t know what to say, what to do to make everything go back to normal. They both knew that they weren’t in love with each other, but what they felt was definitely something worth talking about.

 

Sana carefully sat next to Mina, making sure her skirt wouldn't wrinkle. “Are you okay?”

 

“No.” Mina mumbled and shifted to look at Sana.

 

She couldn’t put into words everything that she was going through right now, so she opted against it and just kissed her. Kissed her with so much disorientation but ache for figuring things out that she didn’t even know she had in her.

 

It was sweet, it was innocent, but it also held an insane amount of burning unsaid thoughts. Sana kissed her back, she also didn’t know why or how, but it felt nice, really nice.

 

Mina had never, not once, seen or heard of same-gendered couples. She wondered if they even existed. If they didn’t, she was certain the world was missing out on something very interesting and important.

 

“I’m sorry.” Mina whispered close to Sana’s lips. “I just- It feels-” How could she explain this without sounding crazy?

 

“Nice.” Sana completed her friend’s sentence, praying to all the Gods that it was what Mina was trying to say.

 

“Yeah. Is it wrong?” Mina whispered and settled back in her original place. From a young age, she associated pleasure with wrongs. It’s what she had always been told.

 

'Don’t eat too much, Mina, it’s bad.'

 

'You shouldn’t play so much, Mina, you should focus on your studies.'

 

“Kinda.” Sana, on the other hand, had heard about this type of relationship before. She had seen on TV how people laughed, insulted, and even hit other people because they loved someone of their gender. She couldn’t comprehend: what was so wrong with loving others?

 

“.” Mina tried to look at her friend, but her tears blurred her vision. She never cursed, ever, because her parents had always told her it wasn’t lady-like, but it fit the situation.

 

“No. Honey, no.” Sana cupped Mina’s face as caring as never before and wiped the teardrops from her cheeks. “Don’t cry.”

 

Mina pressed her forehead against Sana’s, just trying to stop her sniffles and crying. “I can’t. It’s wrong- My dad is going to kill me.” She whispered even though no one could hear over her cries.

 

Sana pushed a lost strand of her friend’s hair over her ear and smiled, “He doesn’t have to know. It can be our little secret.”

 

Mina smiled and nodded. She had no idea what that meant, but right now it calmed her and that was more than enough.

 

“We should go back before they notice we’ve been gone for too long.” The older held her hand out and helped Mina back to her feet, caressing her arm after. “Wash your face and stay here for a second, I’ll say your head was hurting.” She gave Mina one last loving grin and walked out the door.

 

And so their little adventure began. Mina would invite Sana for a sleepover every two weeks with the excuse of watching a movie just so she could spend time with her, and hopefully, kiss her too.

 

Sana never rejected her, she actually loved the way it felt. The way Mina’s soft lips would brush against her’s and how the girl would grab her jaw with so much insecurity and carefulness.

 

The years passed and things started getting a bit bolder. Amongst the ones that stood out the most was when they were 14, and Sana straddled Mina with the excuse of having a lash in her eye. She had seen it in a movie and thought it would be fun to try out with Mina.

 

Needless to say, Mina quickly realized there was nothing there and stared up at her friend in both bliss and shock. Before she got to ask, Sana shut her up by crashing their lips together and even dared to brush her tongue slightly over Mina’s bottom lip after a few minutes.

 

It was… hot. Mina was now old enough to identify the feeling that pulsed on her lower stomach, and even though she was aware it was wrong, she couldn’t deny it also felt like touching heaven with her bare hands. She didn’t want to stop.

 

After that intense moment, Mina closed her eyes and tried to even her breathing. They came to the agreement of never letting things escalate more than that, the rest was supposed to be for someone special. Maybe this was supposed to be as well, but they were best friends, that was special enough.

 

They decided to stop things once Mina started dating Jae, a guy from her class who gave her a valentine when they were 15. They were making out one Saturday night when Sana thought that maybe what they were doing could be considered cheating, and her having crushes of her own, she didn’t need to do this with Mina anymore.

 

Opposite to what most would believe, it wasn’t sad nor uncomfortable between them, there was just one less activity included in their sleepovers. They even laughed at their previous actions and how they had acted.

 

As expected, Mina broke up with Jae less than a month later because he wanted to take things further and she didn’t. He pushed a bit too hard, and that was more than enough for her. She came to the conclusion that, even though she was obviously more attracted to women, she wasn’t opposed to the idea of dating a man, if she ever met one who she was interested in.

 

But as Sana had promised, it had, and would always be their little secret. At least for now.

 

---

 

“We’re going to Tzu’s before school, we need to leave 15 minutes earlier.” Chaeyoung said while she kept her head high so Mina could tie her tie. It had become a habit of theirs every morning for the past week, Chaeyoung being too lazy to learn how to do it and Mina being too sweet to refuse even though it made her feel strange.

 

“Okay, no playing before we leave then.” Mina smiled and straightened Chaeyoung’s collar once she was done. “Why are we going?”

 

“I need to pick up a book I lent her, and I thought it would be fun to switch things up and walk with them instead.” Chaeyoung replied and stared at her perfectly arranged tie in the mirror. Mina was so much better at this than her.

 

They walked to Tzuyu’s house in silence most of the time. It had also become a habit of theirs to share one of Chaeyoung’s AirPods each whenever they went somewhere by themselves, so after some light bickering about who got to choose the music today, they left the house.

 

Mina actually loved Chaeyoung’s music taste, it was fresh and wide. The only thing she 'disliked' was how messy her playlists were. One minute they could be enjoying some soft indie song and the next second a loud metal song could be blasting in her ears.

 

Chaeyoung always argued it was like her, messy but I somehow worked together nicely, and Mina couldn’t agree more.

 

The sun was finding its way through the horizon to the summit of the sky, piercing its soft and warm sunlight to people and plastering their faces with a godly glow. It was a beautiful morning. The walk was short, too short for Mina’s taste, but fun nonetheless. It wasn’t the fun that had your heart thumping out of your chest from excitement though, it was more like a moment that has you smiling from ear to ear without an exact reason, wishing it could last forever even if it’s far from perfect.

 

When the pair finally arrived, Chaeyoung went inside, leaving Mina and Sana sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. They exchanged some small talk until the older remembered she had something 'important' to tell Mina.

 

“I think Tzuyu has a crush on me.” Sana stated confidently. She didn’t have a lot of proof but she had a feeling, and she never, ever, doubted herself when it came to things like these.

 

“Why is your ego so big?” Mina replied nonchalantly. She had heard Sana repeat this same statement a ton of times before, and although she was right most of the time, Mina loved hurting her feelings a bit every now and then to keep her feet on the ground.

 

“It is not.”

 

“You think everyone likes you.”

 

“Because they do.” She had a smug grin on her face, and Mina loved it.

 

The younger tried to continue on the topic they had initially talked about, “Do you have any kind of proof?”

 

“Not really.” Sana moved around to fix her thighs in place, “She just stares a lot, it’s cute.”

 

“That doesn’t mean she likes you.” She laughed at Sana’s self-admiration that sometimes went too far.

 

“But she does.” She was not giving up without a fight.

 

“So, what if she does?” Mina raised her voice slightly. If Sana’s assumptions were correct, she and Tzuyu were in the same position – crushing on someone they lived with and constantly reminding themselves they didn’t have a chance. “What are you going to do then?”

 

“No need to get all defensive, Mina. I’m just saying.” She laid her hands on her friend’s shoulders and shook them back and forth, something she did whenever she wanted other people to relax. “Don’t be so temperamental this early in the morning.” She pouted for half a second before smiling.

 

“Sorry, I’m just really tired.” She touched her forehead and rubbed it. 'Liar.'

 

“It’s alright, forget about it.”

 

Mina leaned her head on Sana’s shoulder and closed her eyes, imagining she was still in the heavenly comfort and warmth of her bed.

 

“Sorry for taking so long.” Chaeyoung screamed while rushing out the door, Tzuyu following right behind her and locking it. She looked disheveled - like she had been running around to get things done as fast as she could - but as she had said before, she found a way to make it work and look good even if she didn’t know exactly how.

 

They walked for a few minutes, the Japanese women in front talking in their mother tongue because it was a lot more comfortable and the younger pair in the back, mostly laughing and teasing each other.

 

Suddenly, when they were about to reach the school’s entrance, Sana stopped in her tracks and waited for the other girls to catch up.

 

“So, Chaeyoung. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” Sana looked at her feet and breathed out. Was she… nervous? The other two girls who were seeing the interaction raised their eyebrows at each other in confusion.

 

“Yeah?” Chaeyoung asked with a dimpled smile. She tried to keep her cool even though she always got anxious whenever people used those exact words; it brought back memories she would rather forget.

 

“Do you want to hang out, maybe after school or something like that?” She asked confidently, like she wasn’t asking Chaeyoung out after only knowing her for six days.

 

Silence. Mina and Tzuyu shared a look. A look that even though it lasted two or three seconds, showed exactly what they were feeling and thinking. `What the ?'

 

The younger made a low and steady sound with her lips closed. She barely knew Sana. Wouldn’t it be awkward between them? But then, she thought it would be a nice gesture for her to get to know Mina’s friends better, it would make them all closer. And she would get to see what Tzuyu’s newly-developed crush was like. It was a great idea.

 

The only detail she missed, a crucial one, was that she was being asked out. On a date. A romantic date. Sana didn’t say it out loud, she thought it was obvious enough. Why else would she be specifically asking to spend time on their own?