Chaeyoung cycled so fast that she didn’t realize she had almost arrived at her destination until her stinging lungs and aching legs forced her to stop. Letting her bike and bag fall to the floor, her hands gripped the sides of her neck as she bent over, hoping it would calm her breathing down and trying to get air back into her body - which refused to cooperate.

 

She gasped for air and fell in a heap to the grass. It didn’t matter that it was all covered with snow or that her pants would probably be soaked later, she couldn’t bring herself to care. The girl felt something wet on her face and looked up just in time to see tears falling from her eyes as she tried to catch her breath.

 

Many feelings were going through her at that moment, but - by far - the one that carried the biggest weight was humiliation. 

 

In the distance, she could see Dahyun looking up from her phone, worry flashing across her face as she walked through the door and onto the sidewalk. “Hey.” Raising her leg, she softly tapped with her slipper on Chaeyoung’s leg. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m alive if that’s what you’re worried about.”  The words sounded bitter, not like Chaeyoung meant them to, but rather because they came out so naturally from between her lips. 

 

Chaeyoung wiped her cheeks with both of her palms before slowly straightening herself out in a manner that showed no signs of distress. She took a deep breath and then turned around to look at Dahyun, who was still standing there waiting patiently. “Hi.”

 

“Hello, Chaeyoung. To what do I owe the pleasure?” The older extended her hands out, helping her friend get up.

 

“I just wanted to hang out?” It was supposed to be a statement, but her voice getting higher in the end made it sound more like a question.

 

“Sure,” She didn’t believe her, but they would get to talk about whatever had happened later “Let’s go inside. I’m ing freezing.” Dahyun said while wrapping an arm around the shorter girl’s shoulders.

 

The younger nodded quickly. If there was something to keep her mind off everything, she would take it.

 

---

 

“What the are you doing?” Dahyun made a weird sound with , something between disapproval and confusion.

 

A transparent plastic bag had been emptied over the wooden table, scattering products Chaeyoung had previously bought at the convenience store. There were some chocolates, plastic gloves, a shower cap, and most importantly: a box that had a brunette with shiny hair on its cover. “I don’t think there’s a lot to figure out.”

 

“What happened today?” The older silently pointed with her eyes to the chair beside her, inviting the blonde to sit there. “You shouldn’t worry about the exams. I’m sure you did a great job, Chae.”

 

The younger chewed on her lower lip, debating whether it would be a good idea to open up about what had happened earlier. “I told Mina.” She answered in a small voice, looking down at the table and twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she waited for a reply. 

 

The older’s eyes opened wide for half a second, dragging her chair slightly forward to support her elbows on the table and be closer to her friend. “You told her how you feel?”

 

“No,” Chaeyoung wasn’t sure why it was so hard to get the whole thing out, but a single word had already made her voice shaky and her heart throb for something she couldn’t understand. 

 

Dahyun had never been good at comforting people. For better or for worse, she had always been the one on the receiving end, and she wasn’t sure how to approach the situation to both get the words out of her friend (partially to satisfy her curiosity) but also to stop the tears that were already starting to trickle down Chaeyoung’s cheeks. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

“It’s just-“ Her breathing caught, but the silent sobs she was releasing made Dahyun's heart crumple. “I’m so embarrassed.”

 

“Did you do something stupid?”

 

Chaeyoung briefly smiled at the silly question, her glistening eyes getting smaller. “No, I did what I could.”

 

Dahyun raised Chaeyoung’s chin with two fingers, studying her friend's face. Her puffy eyes were closed, trembling; her reddened cheeks were coated in tears and her lower lip was caught between her teeth. She looked broken. “What happened to you? You seemed fine a few hours ago.”

 

“We got into an argument. I don’t know how- why I let that happen when we had been doing great.”

 

The older’s hand moved up, tucking loose blonde locks behind her ear and comfortingly caressing her hair. “Do you think you were wrong?”

 

“No, but I don’t think Mina was either. We just exploded on each other and I couldn’t do it.”

 

Dahyun nodded in understanding although she had no ing clue what Chaeyoung was talking about. “What couldn’t you do?”

 

It was hard not to sniffle in between every word, but having the older touch her in such a calming manner was definitely helping. “I don’t know. Face her? I shouldn’t have told her about him.”

 

'Him,' It wasn’t hard to figure out who Chaeyoung was talking about, there hadn’t been many ‘hims’ in her life. There had only been one, and she knew the story all too well. “Did she shame you for it?”

 

“No,” Chaeyoung looked up, moving her head side to side with her eyes shut in a way that looked almost childlike. “I didn’t even give her time to react. It all happened so fast and I was so embarrassed.”

 

“Why? He should be the one feeling guilty, not you.”

 

“It’s not something I’m exactly proud of and saying I was so… vulnerable with someone who

was only using me isn’t what I want to tell the person I like.” Her eyes were starting to sting from trying to hold back tears even if she had already started crying, but at some point, she just stopped trying. 

 

It was impossible to miss Dahyun squinting her eyes in apprehension. “And what’s with the dye?”

 

Chaeyoung looked to her side, where the box was still sitting. It was nice to talk about something else, even when she could still feel the pulsating pressure on her heart. “Jinyoung scolded me for it. Again.”

 

“And since when do you listen to him?”

 

“He said it was the last warning and I need to do something else other than think about her.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Chaeyoung did the same face from earlier but now moving her head up and down. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Dahyun grabbed the box, using her nail to cut the plastic seal and taking out the tubes of product and empty containers. “Because it cost a ton of money and you look cool with it.”

 

“My mom would love to disagree. She says it’s more on the criminal side,” The younger giggled softly but still used a tissue to wipe her tears and stuffy nose. “And I can do it again once school is over, I just wanna lay low for a while.”

 

“That’s okay.” Dahyun wasn’t going to mention it now considering how complicated the situation was, but she was pretty goddamn proud of how well she had handled the situation.

 

“Are you gonna help me?” It wasn’t a real question, Chaeyoung could see how Dahyun was putting a turned-around apron over her clothes. 

 

“Of course, because there’s nothing else I would rather do at 4 pm on a Friday.”

 

“Thank you. I promise I won’t stain your bathtub like I did with the pink.”

 

Dahyun beamed with joy at the memory, remembering how she made her friend scrub until the stains were gone. There were still a few splattered around, but it was fun to see them and think back on it.

 

“It wasn’t my fault the dye wouldn’t stop bleeding!”

 

“Of course,” Even though Dahyun was behind her, Chaeyoung was somehow able to hear her rolling her eyes. “Go find an old shirt in my closet and also a comb.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

- - -

 

“Where’s Momo?” Chaeyoung asked, closing her eyes to resist scratching the part of her scalp where Dahyun was applying dye. 

 

“Out with Sana celebrating. They planned it after school and called Mina last-minute to ask if she wanted to go with them but apparently she wasn’t feeling well. Now I know what she meant by that.”

 

“Oh,” She never wanted her to feel bad for what happened. “What should I do?”

 

It was weird being the one Chaeyoung went to for advice, but she liked it. She liked that the younger trusted her that much. “Do you like her?”

 

“I do,” the younger sighed, “A lot.”

 

“Tell her.” Dahyun brushed a few more times on the ends of her hair, covering the yellow-platinum strands with a brown paste. “It’s a beautiful feeling, I don’t see why you should hide it from her.”

 

“What if she doesn’t like me back?” 

 

“That could happen, but what if she does?” She sat in her previous place, exhaling loudly and slumping into her chair. “Worst case scenario: things are a little uncomfortable between you for a few days. At least try to talk to her so you’re in friendly terms before she leaves.”

 

“Since when are you so wise?” Chaeyoung teased, surprised at how good Dahyun was at it.

 

“I don’t know but I’ll definitely put it on my resume.”

 

- - -

 

“I really don’t want to go,” Chaeyoung dropped the hand that had been holding the door handle. “Also my mom’s birthday is tomorrow and I don’t know how I’m gonna act normal.”

 

“You look hot,” The older moved Chaeyoung’s hair, “Like really hot.”

 

“Thanks, but that won't fix things.”

 

“Baby steps, Chaeyoung. Start by talking peacefully.”

 

“Okay,” Chaeyoung opened the door and walked outside, getting on her bicycle that she had left on the porch. “Thanks for everything.”

 

“It’s alright, we all have our moments. Go! And text me when you get home!”

 

“Yes, sir!” 

 

Chaeyoung started pedaling, letting the cold breeze hit her face even though it would probably have repercussions later. At that moment, it was calming. 

 

Opposite to usual, this time she wasn’t in a rush. The air was slightly foggy and she smiled when she noticed every breath she took left a small cloud. She felt light, no one else was out at this time and it was like she was the only person that existed.

 

For those 15 minutes, the moon would be her only company and she loved that.

 

The serenity was so big she didn’t notice how the pumping of her legs was becoming faster, falling into a familiar rhythm of constant speed. Looking down, Chaeyoung could barely define where the black asphalt ended and the street gutter started, but it was a distracting thought to try to figure it out. 

 

Suddenly, a blinding white light coming from the other side of the road illuminated her, startling her just enough to try to turn into a driveway in case it got too close. 

 

The disguised ice that was on the edge of the road caused her wheels to slip, making her lose control of her bicycle and throwing her to the side.

 

‘,’ The girl cursed to herself, immediately feeling the sting on her palms supporting her upper body; it was like having a million thin needles dipped in alcohol jammed through her skin. Luckily, there weren’t any scratches on her face, but the throbbing ache on her knees from landing on them was something she’d have to check on later.

 

It would be too difficult to get back on, so she picked her bicycle up and settled on walking. It wouldn’t take that much longer and she was sure the pain on her hands would be unbearable if she didn’t press them onto her clothes. 

 

Chaeyoung felt dumb. The accident was entirely her fault, and there was no one to blame other than herself. It had been ages since the last time something like it had happened, she was usually careful, but this time her mind was somewhere else. 

 

Chaeyoung passed by a closed bakery, thinking about all the times her friends and she had visited it. ‘Cake!’

 

In the b