Chaeyoung rubbed her face while leaning on the table. She sighed, closing her eyes tightly. She doesn’t want to look at all the bills in front of her. She listed all the expenses for this month, well, she’s running out of money to pay for all of them. 

Katsumi’s expenses,

Rent,

Water and electric bill,

Internet,

Halmonie’s salary.

She checked her passbook and all that was left was enough for 2 months and weeks. How come she ended up in this situation? The company she’s working for years fired her when the former CEO died and replace by his dumb son. She couldn’t stand him belittling her and her team. He fired so many employees and so he fired her.

And now here she was. Unemployed, no work for 5 months now because her stupid former CEO put her on blocklist. Now they will soon starve. And she cried, again. Because she doesn’t know where to get the money to pay for all the bills.

She tried finding jobs but all she received was that they would call her. She didn’t put her hopes in that. They even moved into a smaller apartment last month so less expense for that but still the remaining money she has cannot cover it anymore. 

She dried her tears and pulled out her phone to call Halmonie. “Hello? Is there something wrong, Chaeyoung-ah?”

She bit her lips, tears started to pool her eyes. “H-halmonie…” 

“Yes? Is there something wrong? Is Katsumi okay?” The worried voice of her made the tears flow down her eyes. 

She shook her head and sniffed. “There’s nothing wrong. I-it’s just...you know that I haven’t found a job and I’m running out of money and I am cutting some expenses.” Chaeyoung ran her fingers through her hair and breathed. “You know how much I am grateful to have you throughout the years of taking care of my daughter. But...I need to…you know..” She whispers the last words.

“I understand, Chaeyoung-ah. But if you need someone to look after her while finding a job, don’t hesitate to drop her to my apartment. I will gladly look after her, for free.” Chaeyoung chuckled when she heard Halmonie laughed. 

“Thank you, Halmonie.”

“You’re always welcome. You’re not a stranger to me. So whatever you’re bottling up to herself, just so you know I am here for you. I know you don’t have a good relationship with your parents, but I could be your mom.” 

Chaeyoung cried and Halmonie let her while telling her everything will be fine. “I will give you your salary tomorrow. Thank you, Halmonie.”

“Anytime, Chaeyoung.”

Chaeyoung ended the call and rested her head on the wood table, sighing. She had thought about selling her car and changing into a smaller one. It’s enough for her to drive around and drive Katsumi to school. As long as the car is working fine and it’s in good condition.

“I’ll call Chan for it tomorrow.” She uttered to herself.

She washed up quickly before joining her daughter to bed. She pulled the cover to themselves before turning to face her daughter.

She was now three years old. Her features are more shown, she couldn’t help but to smile when she saw moles adorned on her beautiful, fair and flawless skin. She traced it softly, one was above her left eyes, down to her nose and last to her lower lips. 

“You’re so much more like your Mom.” She whispers, smiling. “You had your Mom’s lips and nose, do you know that?” She continued, parting the bangs before planting a soft kiss on her forehead. 

Seeing how much her daughter has grown up into an obedient and understanding kid, she smiles proudly because no matter the situation they’re in now, she manages to raise such a kind and humble child. Despite the fact Mina left them 3 years ago.

“I promise to be a better mother to you. I love you so much.” She can’t help but to tear a little. She kissed her one last time before drifting to sleep. She smiled when she felt her daughter snuggle to her.

“I wov you too, Mama.” Was the last thing she heard before joining her to dreamland.

“You’re not coming?” 

Chaeyoung was in the park, sitting at the empty bench while eating a cracker with a bottle of water. It was past four, she hadn’t eaten lunch and her stomach was making noises here and there so she passed by a convenient store. She stops herself from buying an expensive sandwich to save money to buy food for Katsumi.

Chaeyoung sighed and shook her head. “No,” She swung her legs, shifting her phone to her left ear. “ I am busy with work and...staff.” She lied, she still doesn’t have a job and is still finding one.

“Taking a day off won’t hurt, Chaeyoung. Come on, we missed you. Don’t you miss us?” She playfully scoffed. “We haven’t seen you for years, spare us a day.”

She shook her head though she wouldn’t be seen by her sister Jennie. “I’m really sorry, but my stand will be the same.” She sighed, “You know how my relationship to our parents is still not okay.”

“I understand, but don’t you think it’s the right time to fix it?” 

“I don’t think so.” She mumbled, taking another bite on her cracker. 

Jennie sighed, “Can’t you really come? It’s just an hour away from where you’re living. I tried to contact Mina to convince you but she’s not answering.”

“Wait what?” She frowned. “You called Mina?” 

“Yes, but she’s not answering her phone. I just thought she’d convince you because we all know that you’re not coming. We all know how swoon--”

“You really called her?” Chaeyoung bit her lips. Maybe she changed her number? She thought.

“Yes, but again she’s not answering. Why do you sound so shocked? She’s your wife, Chaeyoung.” The confusion can be heard from her sister’s voice. 

Is she still my wife? Even if she left us? She sadly thought.

When Jennie didn’t hear anything from her she spoke. “Are you not on good terms with her? Did you two fight?”

“I hope it’s just a simple fight.” Chaeyoung chuckled dryly.

“What do you mean you hope so? Is there something wrong we don’t know?” She heard a rattle sound from the other line. “Tell me Chaeyoung, is there something wrong?”

“It’s...we’re not okay and probably will not be.” That made Jennie frown. Thousands of thoughts coming through her mind that she wants to ask. But knowing her younger sister won’t tell until she tells first. 

Chaeyoung nodded, understanding the silence of her sister on the other line. “She...she left us.” And in cue her tears fall down.’

“She did what now?” Her voice was laced in anger. “Why did she leave you? You two are perfect for each other and we’d seen it before. How come she left you?” 

Chaeyoung shook her head. “I don’t know.” She knows, she just needs time, Chaeyoung thought. 

But at this point she doesn’t know anymore. It’s been 3 years since that horrible day. Will she ever come back? She can’t help but to ask too. 

“Did she cheat on you? I swear--”

“No, no. She did not. It’s just...maybe time isn’t right for us yet? I don’t know.” She dried her tears and munched on her food.

“How long has it been?” Her sister’s voice still laced in anger though it isn’t stronger but it’s still there.

“3 years..” She kicked an invisible rock as she answered. 

“Why didn’t you tell us that you’d been going through such a heart break?” Jennie couldn’t help but to cry. They’d been together and they witnessed how the two grow fonder and love each other. She couldn’t think a perfect relationship could come to an end too. 

“Don’t cry, unnie. It happened already. It’s been three years since she left us. I’m okay now.” She lied, she’s still not okay. She’s barely coping with her leaving them.

“Don’t lie to me--wait..us?” Chaeyoung tightly closed her eyes, preparing herself for the outburst of her sister. “What do you mean ‘us’, Chaeyoung-ah?”

I guess it's time to let them know about Katsumi. Chaeyoung nodded at her thought.

“We...we had a..daughter, Katsumi.” She didn’t hear anything, so she continued. “She was..only 6 six month old when she left us. We were happy just the night before and when I woke up I saw a note that she cannot continue what we had.”

The memories she tried to bury came back flashing through her eyes and it started to sting, her chest tightening and her heart was in pain. It is painful. “I begged, kneel just to make her come back to us but she told me she..r-regret everything..t-that she d-doesn’t want anything t-to do with us a-anymore.” 

Jennie bit her lips, her hand clenched tightly as if she’s preventing herself from throwing the nearest object around her. It breaks her heart to hear her sister cry in pain. She endured this for three years? 

“She was only six month old back then, unnie…” All they could hear was their cries and it went like this for a few minutes before Jennie spoke. 

“I...I’ll tell this to Joohyun unnie. Don’t expect us to sit here and watch you struggle alone. We won’t let that happen to your little sister, okay? We will be there a week before the reunion.”

Chaeyoung nodded, “Thank you, unnie.”

“Now...tell me about our niece?” There was joy in her voice that made Chaeyoung smile.

After telling everything about her daughter, Chaeyoung invited her to her 4th birthday next month and Jennie couldn’t be happier. She promised to make up for the lost time. Chaeyoung just agreed, there’s nothing she could do to stop them anyway.

After finishing her cracker, she walked around the park, trying to look for a job and luckily she found one, she applied immediately even though it’s not a line to what she studied but it’s better than nothing, right? 

After trying to find a job from company after company, she decided to settle for something small, being a barista is fun too. Right after she applied, they welcomed her and told her she could start tomorrow.

It’s just temporary, it might not cover all the expenses but for her daughter’s birthday, it could be a big help. She doesn’t even care about herself anymore as long as she makes her daughter happy and buys things she wants, it’s enough for her. 

Chaeyoung caressed her daughter’s hair while singing a song. But it soon interrupted when her daughter spoke. 

“Mama?”

“Yes, princess?”

“Can I ask a question about...Mommy?” The caressing stops at the abrupt question. She knows, one day she will ask a question about Mina. Even though she prepared herself for this, no words escaped from her lips.

She continued caressing hair, trying to remember the words she prepared. “What about your Mommy?”

Katsumi glanced at her Mama. “What does she like...and why..why isn’t she with us?” Hearing the uncertainty and sadness from her daughter’s voice broke her. 

She hummed, “Your Mommy is the kindest person on earth and the most beautiful person on the entire universe, just like you.” She booped her little nose and kissed it after. “She looks a lot like you, you know.” She smiled when her daughter’s eyes sparkled at the trivial matter. 

She never let her see the picture of Mina. She keeps her pictures hidden in a box, away from her. Because she’s afraid that one day, when their paths cross, Mina will ignore her unintentionally or not. She won’t let the same pain she’d caused them. She won’t let it happen to her daughter. 

“Really?” There’s amusement in her voice. But it soon turned sorrowful, which baffled Chaeyoung. Katsumi fiddled, “Does...does she love me, Mama?” 

Chaeyoung looked away, her eyes yet again b with tears so she pursed her lips and composed herself. She doesn't want her daughter to see her this weak when talking about Mina. She wanted to be strong for her, for them. 

“She loves you so much.” She planted a longing kiss on her head. 

“Then..why isn’t she with us? If she really loves me.” There was uncertainty in her voice. Sure, she was also uncertain if she would ever come back to them anymore or at least consider herself a mother to their daughter. 

She doesn’t know how she is. Does she have a family now? Because truth to be told, she would gladly embrace that fact, at least she’s happy. As long as she’s happy. That’s enough for her and maybe, it’s time for her to stop holding on to the hope that she will come home to them. 

She looks directly at her daughter, caressing her slightly messy bangs. “You know...Mommy is undergoing such a...problem.” She traces her face as if she’s familiarizing every feat