“...Jeongyeon came and surprised me! Flowers in her hand, roses’ petals on the ground and a table in the middle with candles and wines..” Nayeon’s eyes twinkle as she reminisces about the event that happened a week ago. 

Jihyo scoffed, “Daniel did the same thing on our first anniversary. He made it extra special by hiring a violinist throughout our romantic dinner date. Imagine how much it cost him just to make me the happiest woman in the world…”

The bragging between the two continued as no one wanted to back down. Mina mindlessly poking her food, she lost in her friends’ conversation about how their partners surprised them. She actually finds it funny how the two banter about it today. But as time passed by, she’d gone boring listening to them and ended up losing her appetite.

She sighed, checking the time. 1:27PM it says. Three more minutes and the others will finally arrive. Today they decided to go shopping to spend their eventless weekends. But to her luck (pun intended), she’d stuck with these deep-in-love friends of hers that no other than talk about was their love life. 

‘Why did her other friends call last minute and say that they will be late? Now I’m stuck here listening to their cheesy way of surprising my friends.’ She mentally complained and bluntly rolled her eyes before slumping her head on the table.

“Hey, sorry we’re late.” 

She abruptly sat up, “Finally!” Startling her friends, she stood up and gave them a lip tight smille. “Let’s go.” 

As they walked from store to store, the conversation didn’t end there, unfortunately, the conversation turned to her. “You know, for you single to relate, why don’t you entertain all your suitors who are desperate to score a date with you?” 

Mina halted and turned around to look at Nayeon. While Nayeon gave her an intimidating look. “You know that--”

“I’m not interested in the moment to be in a relationship.” All her friends nonchalantly said. 

“You already know my reason, why still ask the same question?” She scowled, rolling her eyes as she continued to scan the set of clothes trying to ignore her friends, more like ignoring the conversation because she’s not having it again today.

“Mina, the last time you dated was like...3 years? Or was it 4 years ago?” Jihyo interjected, looking all concerned towards her friends. All of their friends are in a relationship: Jihyo and Daniel, Nayeon and Jeongyeon, Momo and Dahyun (well almost there) and lastly Sana and Tzuyu. 

Mina was all that left. They feel guilty whenever they talk about their relationship when she’s with them knowing how she feels single that made her feel bitter with all the scowl in her face and the boring look she always plastered when ‘that’ conversation started. 

Mina ‘the single-’ Myoi.

Mina rolled her eyes, “Don’t make it sound like it was a decade or century ago.” She heard Sana snickered behind her followed by Momo who’s bluntly laughing at her remark.

Jihyo shrugged, “Well, I’m just saying.” She walked beside her and mindlessly checked all the clothes in their section. “Trying to agree to your suitors won’t hurt. We never know if one of them is the one.” Just the sound of her voice made her roll her eyes. She knows Jihyo has this annoying smirk plastered on her face. 

She moved from different kinds of clothes while Jihyo followed suit, quietly. The others roamed around the shop, coming in and out of the fitting room to check the clothes they would probably buy. 

“I’m worried.” 

She glanced at Jihyo. 

“Haven’t seen the love sick smile ever since your dumb ex cheated on you.” Her voice was laced with concern. She actually understood where she was coming from. They’d been together since senior year. 

“I just wanna see that smile again.” Jihyo nudged her side, making her giggle. 

“Just...think about it, okay?” Mina sighs defeatedly.

“Okay.”

----

“Wait-wait. She told you to try to date your suitors because maybe one of them is the one for you?”

Mina rolled her eyes when she remembered the conversation that happened this afternoon. She scooted closer to the person and snuggled impossibly closer to feel her warmth against her skin.

She nodded, pouting. 

The person chuckled. She cradled her head and caressed it and her back to soothe whatever she’s feeling. “I wonder what would be their reaction when they know about us.” She grinned.

Mina chuckled imagining her friends’ reaction. “Nightmare, I think.”

“Hey!” The person pulled away to have a better look at her face. “I’m not that bad.” The person cutely pouted that made her lean in and gave it a chaste kiss.

“I’m kidding.” She rested back her head against the person’s chest, just above the heart. She loved hearing it, it made her calm in some ways, it felt home. Weird but, it feels just right.

“But seriously, when are you planning to let my friends know about us? About you?” She asked curiously. They’d been dating for half a year, yet her friends don't have any ounce of idea about them.

“They...I don’t know...I feel like they wouldn’t like me for you..” She sat up with a scowl in her face, obviously doesn’t like what the person just told her.

“Why do you think they would hate you?” She frowned, watching her sit up from their previous position. Hearing no response from her, she continued. “Where did you get that idea?” She pry further because she doesn’t like how she belittles herself.

“Because the last time I checked, you told me that we would tell them at the right time. And don’t you think it is the right time? For them to know at least?”

She sighed, “They’re my friends, and I hate the fact that I’m keeping a secret from them. We’ve been dating for six months and I think that’s enough time to muster up courage and tell them, yeah?”

“And I also hate that they’re pushing me to date my suitors. Not knowing I am in a relationship with you.” 

She ran her fingers against her jet black hair and stared at her fidgeting state. She closed her eyes to calm herself down because clearly, this conversation isn’t going anywhere and she hates how she doesn’t get any response from her. That only made her mad.

But not at her. Never at her.

“Don’t you feel jealous when my suitors keep asking me in front of you? Everyday you witness confession here and there to me. And now this, my friends for sure will bring this conversation and most probably set me up on a blind date.”

“Don’t you really feel anything?” She asked, in a calm but stern tone. 

No response.

“Don’t you want to let the whole world know that I am yours? And stop those hopeful suitors of mine? Don’t you?”

She waited for her response but she got nothing. But when she was about to lash out, she heard her mumbled,

“Of course, I do.”

But that didn’t change the emotion she felt inside.

She scoffed, “You can’t even utter those three words back to me.” She whispered but it felt like it was meant for her to hear it.

She sat there, frozen. Knowing, matter-of-fact, it’s true. Indeed true. She was having a hard time expressing herself, to anyone, there’s no exception for her too. She really finds it hard to express her emotions and fondness towards her. It had been an issue between them before in their first month, but gladly she understood. 

She’s really grateful for her.

But it doesn’t mean she doesn't love her. She does. She really does love her so much. But she couldn’t get herself to say those words. She believes in the old and classic saying ‘actions speak louder than words’, weird, right?

Because she grew up in a family where she never heard her parents say ‘i love you’s’ to each other. But she could feel their love through their actions. Supporting her, taking care of her, providing everything she needed. She feels loved. 

So much love from her parents. And likewise.

She’d thought Mina could feel it. Maybe she did. She just wants an assurance directly from her own lips. She understood her, really. But the question is, is her action isn’t enough to prove her love for her?

Is she enough?

She doesn’t know.

“I’m sorry.” All she could say. She lifted her head to meet those eyes that she loved the most and smiled, “I love you.”

Was it enough?

Mina looked away. 

“Funny how many months I waited to hear them.” Mina chuckled dryly before looking at her. “But why does it feel like you don’t?”

Of course it wasn’t enough.

That’s why she hated saying it rather than saying it through action. You can mask and sugarcoat everything you say, but never through actions. You can never lie about the way your heart wants to act out. 

Love is love, afterall. 

You cannot fool it.

----

Black, red, orange, green, yellow ink her skins. Different unknown figures and objects etched her skin. Most of them were from her imagination, she drew them on the piece of paper before asking the tattoo artist to draw it to her skin where she wanted it to be.

People fear her. When she maybe once or twice went to her University with a shirt, bulgar showing her tattoos to everyone. She doesn’t care, more like she’s proud of her creation because each one of them may or may not have a history behind those tattoos.

Her arms were covered with tattoos, from small one to big ones from her left shoulder to her back. You can still cover it with concealer. Still, she has a lot of them.

Students throw disgusting looks at her. She doesn’t care. It’s her body, her rule. She wanted to break the stereotype of the people that it’s not a sin to have a tattoo especially for women like her. And to be called an ‘addict’, she’s not crazy, she’s actually sane. It isn’t like she murder someone to get the blood and ink it to her skin. No, that’s actually the disgusting one. 

It was one time when she was inside the cubicle of the women's restroom inside their university, she was in the middle of zipping her pants when she heard familiar voices obviously gossiping. 

She was about to open the door when she heard her name from one of them. She never really cared about what people say about her tattoos, she’s proud even. But hearing from them made her heart shatter into pieces. 

“I don’t want one of our friends to befriend her. I don’t trust her-”

“It’s s