“Shh…” 

Chaeyoung shushed her little angel in her arms who’s crying, her little voice booming in the empty flat they are currently living in now.

“It’s okay, Mama is here.” She cooed, nuzzling her nose into her little one’s. She had been trying to stop her from crying for almost 10 minutes now and still nothing happened. She already checked her diapers and it’s all dry and clean. She knows she’s hungry but she wouldn’t take the bottle with milk she prepared. 

She doesn’t know what to do anymore to make her stop crying because her heart breaks to see her little angel cry, as if longing for someone.

She did everything, made her laugh, tickled her gently, told her stories…but to no avail. She already ran off things so she ended up crying with her. 

Chaeyoung’s daily life will be like this, waking up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for her and chill for a while until her daughter wakes up. Watching TV with kids nursery songs played in the background as she sang along with her. When she cries, it’s her cue to feed her the milk she bought at the supermarket. Though she isn’t used to the taste of it because she had been into feeding.

Used. 

They will take a bath together before and before she goes to work, she will wait until the babysitter, Halmonie who lives in the same building apartment as her, before going to work. 

Chaeyoung would usually look into space, staring at nothing, tears uninvitedly flowing down her face before proceeding to work. She, all the time, questions herself on things in her life; why is it happening to her? Why would she leave her and their little angel without saying goodbye? 

She doesn’t know where and how she got wrong. 

She provides, she helps by taking care of their daughter, she cooks them food. She did almost everything to be the perfect wife for her, and to be the perfect mother for their daughter. They love each other, god, she loves her so much. 

They were perfect, ever since high school they were inseparable, love made their bond stronger, their relationship stronger. Graduating together with latin honor, it was what they called, ‘couple goals’. They reached their dreams together, she had become a creative director to a well known company in Korea, while Mina had become a designer in a prestigious luxury brand. 

“Mina…”

They live the life they want. Until she proposed and got married at the age of 24. Happy and content with the life they had. They decided to build a family, rented a more spacious apartment (where they currently live), planned everything until one day she surprised her with the best news that she ever had heard, she’s pregnant. She looked after her more, take care of her more until she had to give birth to their first healthy child, Katsumi.

It was perfect. They were perfect.

Coming home after a long day of work, pampering them with kisses and hugs. Mina resigned from her job to focus on their daughter more because Chaeyoung could cover all their expenses though they came from a very wealthy family, except that she isn’t close to them anymore. However, they wanted to be independent on their own and climb the ladder of their dreams. 

Mina stayed, became a housewife for six months until one day, Chaeyoung woke up with a note saying sorry that she couldn’t do it anymore with her. 

She searched for her, contacting any possible person she could help her track her. But no one knows where she is. She had a hunch that she would go to Japan and so she did it three months ago. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Her voice spit venoms, her aura is different, she’s not the soft and loving Mina she’d known for 10 years. She’d become different, but what made her become different? 

She closed her eyes briefly, taking in the pain her voice spits at her. “Please come home…” She begged, her voice and lips quivering, eyes stinging as tears slowly came out of her eyes. “Please come home to us..” Suddenly she doesn’t recognize her voice anymore. felt dry, from all the crying since she left them.

“Can’t you see that I am busy?” Mina, she’s not her Mina anymore. She felt cold, her voice was rough, it’s not the same soft voice as lullaby anymore. “I am handling our company now. So please leave.” 

Chaeyoung wiped her unending tears, carefully cradling the already crying Katsumi on her arms, before she kneeled. Never in her entire life would she beg and kneel, but if it’s the only way to make her come home, she would.

Mina’s eyes travel to the crying baby on her arms, but she looks away, eyes stone cold. 

“Please, love, come home to us. I need you...our Katsumi need you.” She cried along with their daughter. As if Katsumi recognizes her mother, she lifts her arms, trying to reach her, trying to feel her familiar warmth but Mina remains glued on the floor, heart cold as ice. 

“I..I’ll do anything you want. I am sorry if there’s anything that I did that hurt you. Just...please just come back home...to us. I love you..we love you.” Chaeyoung could only sob against her daughter’s as she leaned to her, crying as well as if she understood what she’s feeling.

Chaeyoung trembles, her whole body trembles in fear, in pain and emptiness when her eyes are locked with her wife’s. There was nothing in there anymore, the passion, the fondness, and adoration was long gone.

“I am so sorry, I’ll be better for you and for our daughter, please… I’m begging you to come home to us in Korea. I love you, you know how much I do and our daughter loves you too.” She begged again, there’s nothing left anymore to her, the pride even. If she has to beg everyday she will, until she comes home with them, back to Korea, back to their life. 

She will, in no doubt, forget about what happened in order for them to move forward with them. Her and their daughter.

But things always have an ending. Of course, there always is. 

“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, Chaeyoung.” Mina looked away. Cannot stand how her wife and their daughter are crying, begging for her. 

“Did I do something wrong? Did I not make you happy anymore? Aren’t you happy to be with us anymore? Please tell me I’ll do everything, I would give up my career for you just to be with you and take care of Katsumi together. God, I’ll do everything just tell me what can I do to bring you back to us!”

“You know how much I love you, how much we love you! Just please, Mina, please come back to us.” Chaeyoung cannot feel herself anymore, the pain making her numb little by little. She’s almost losing herself if not because crying Katsumi in her arms would probably let her daughter fall on the ground.

And that made Mina's heart break. 

“Love is not always enough, Chaeyoung!” Mina clenched her first. “I cannot sit and wait for you to come home stuck with our daughter all day. Prepares for her food, cleans the house, and nurses her when she’s crying for nothing!” 

Tears slowly falling down on Mina’s eyes. 

“I thought letting go of my dream to be a housewife would make me feel full, complete. The dream I climb just to be in this position. God knows how much I regret resigning to fully look after Katsumi, while you continue reaching your dreams. Here I am watching you in every step you take.”

“But how about me?” She pointed at herself. “How about myself? Have you ever thought about me?” She cried, holding on to the table to stabilize herself because suddenly she felt weak. 

“Then why didn’t you tell me you’re feeling that way? That I am intentionally rubbing myself on you?” Chaeyoung wiped her tears that’s blocking her vision. “We could talk about it, you know you could tell me everything and fix it!” 

“I want to be myself!” Mina yelled. “I am overwhelmed by the life we had. My dreams, my life I imagine it would be, my life with you, it overwhelmed me! You proposed and I said yes, we got married and along the way we slowly reached our dream and decided to have a family of our own and then Katsumi came!”

“It happened too fast! Everything is moving so fast that I couldn’t even make a decision of my own-!”

“But you agreed to have a child!”

“-and that’s what I’m regretting! I am not ready for the life that you want, Chaeyoung! Everything here is all about you! Living in Korea, the apartment, job, family, Katsumi!” Both of them are breathing hard, anger flashes through their eyes as Katsumi continues to cry.

“I am not ready for the life you want, Chaeyoung! And I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!”

There, she heard everything. Chaeyoung cannot believe how much it damages Mina. It was their plan, both parties agreed on everything or was it her all the time? She reflects, they plan, analyze things and decide...she always has the final decision for the both of them.

Chaeyoung stared at her, her eyes blank, empty and it made Mina look away. The tears still continuously flowing from her eyes, her ears feel eerie to the last words she said. 

‘Regret?’ She asked herself.

“You...you’re neglecting us..?” She doesn’t know if it’s a statement or a question. Actually she doesn’t know anymore. She can’t feel anything but still sees that she’s carrying Katsumi. Is she still crying? She asked herself because she cannot hear anything too.

Everything popped when the doors burst open, revealing Mina’s parents...and her parents? Well they were good friends, that is how she met Mina, through her parents.