Stay.

It is a one syllable, four-letter word that can possibly give a big impact on a person or the opposite.

If a person asked another individual to stay, they may mean for the person to remain, to not go anywhere, to just stop where they currently are and as a response, they may stay or leave otherwise.

But for Mina, the word ‘stay’ means a lot. It means a lot to the point that she once forgot why is she even asking her to stay when she already know the reason deep down in her whole being, she just doesn’t want to admit it to not further hurt herself physically and emotionally.

She once asked Chaeyoung to stay, until it became two, three, four times, she already lost count.

Their relationship can already be seen as an opaque, yet Mina was still there, trying to fix everything, hoping they can still get back how things were used to be for the both of them before their huge fight took place that made their hearts got separated in an instant.

They were such a happy, almost perfect couple despite their different personalities because they got to click with each other through time and effort. Even their friends rooted for the both of them because according to them, they can really make a great couple and so after 2 years and a month of getting to know each other, they eventually leveled up their relationship from being close friends to lovers.

It was a sweet relationship, everything is going to its rightful places and Mina and Chaeyoung were happy with one another (keyword: were). Until Chaeyoung suddenly felt like there’s something, like there’s still something lacking in their relationship and she doesn’t know what exactly is that, so she tries to find it that resulted to their relationship to slowly drift away.

Mina was mad and disappointed and regretful, trying to find some ways to get her girl back, trying to find some ways to get their relationship back to what it should be. And so she started to become the one who exerts effort between the two of them because when they were just starting, Chaeyoung is mostly the one who keeps on giving gifts and such to express her love for Mina, and the latter thinks that it might be the thing that’s lacking in their relationship.

And so Mina eventually started giving Chaeyoung some gifts like her art materials, clothes, shoes, accessories, and the likes. She also gives hugs and kisses than usual, almost asking to cuddle and not being cuddled so she can be the big spoon instead. She basically became the usual but also unusual girlfriend that she is that made Chaeyoung irritated because it is as if that Mina was just doing all of those to satisfy herself, to convince herself that she’s enough and is not at fault to why their relationship were slowly fading away.

Chaeyoung hates the fact that she’s noticing every little detail Mina puts into their relationship that seems like an obligation, not more like a natural act because she loves the person herself and not in love with the idea of love.

She honestly let it slide for a few times before it became literally infuriating to the fact that she’s already having a mindset that she shouldn’t really entered that kind of relationship that eventually doesn’t have a clear direction.

She already cannot trace when or how it started, all she knows is that she suddenly got tired of everything, already got used to everything and instead of just resting for a while, she suggested a breakup that Mina certainly won’t allow because she just loves Chaeyoung too much.

“Mina, I swear, if you keep doing things that you know will not please anybody, including me, just please stop. I’m already exhausted”

“Chaeyoung, what’s the problem? Can you tell me exactly what’s going on that makes us suddenly just turn into having a cold relationship? Are we still okay, really?”

“Mina, not now. I’m damn tired. I just want to go home already.”

“No, Chaeyoung. We’ll fix this today, I don’t want to sleep with an uncertain heart later tonight and I don’t want to keep on fighting with you because we certainly should work together for this relationship to be stronger.”

“That’s the thing, Mina. You just want to have your own way, what about mine? If you want this relationship to work, why bother having only one opinion and not caring about the other? You’re selfish, Mina. That’s nonsense.”

“Chaeyoung, please. I don’t want to breakup with you. I can’t live without you. Just ask me anything and I’ll do it, I promise. You want it? I’ll give it to you tonight, just please don’t leave me.”

“Mina, stop”

Chaeyoung aggressively pushes Mina away as the latter keeps on giving her kisses on her neck while they are currently in a public place after the older told the other to stop the car by the bay and asked to stay there for a while before going back to their place.

“You think this will make me stay?”

Her tone was serious and steady that it immediately scared the hell out of Mina, but instantly proceeded with her main goal of staying with Chaeyoung until her last breath because she can’t seriously imagine her life without the girl beside her.

The sun is slowly going its way down as the colors of orange and red starts to reflect on the sea. It was supposed to be a wonderful sight for the both of them, it was indeed a wonderful sight if it were the young Mina and Chaeyoung, however, things were really complicated at the moment and they don’t care about how magnificent the sunset was right in front of their eyes if their relationship is already as messy as a yarn.

“Mina, everything, as in, everything you’re doing right now just doesn’t make sense if you’re just obliged to be in this relationship, if you’re just pushing yourself to be in this relationship when you know it’s already toxic with the way I treat you like trash in the past few weeks and how you treat me as if I’m just your girlfriend as a title. This, all of this, can’t make me stay simply because the spark isn’t there anymore. We already lost it a long time ago. Mina, we already lost the right direction for our relationship and that’s why I don’t want to continue this further”

There’s a tear that escaped Mina’s eyes and the sadness reflects through it. Chaeyoung knows how hurtful her words were, but it should be done now or else they will suffer in the end. She knows that she’s doing the right thing as she doesn’t want to prolong the ache further and just let themselves heal without each other.

“We’re so lost that we already cannot find the way back to each other’s arms”

It hurts, but it’s true. Chaeyoung is definitely saying the truth that it gives a sting in Mina’s heart. The younger doesn’t shed any tear, trying to act brave when she’s actually a bit regretful to their almost perfect relationship where they dreamt about being together in the end and building their own family. But she guesses that they’re not meant to be.

And so, when Mina eventually woke up the next day, feeling so empty, cannot feel any warm body so close to her, that’s when she knew, that in this universe, she cannot end up with Chaeyoung, her first love and soulmate.