You became addicted again.

What started with spoken concerns about the past continued with endless thoughts about one another and renewed contact. One taste wasn’t simply enough, and you had met with Kihyun on four new occasions now.

You were convinced Kihyun was someone special in your world to have crossed paths with him a second time and feel this connected, this great together already.

Of course, it wasn’t so simple to just slip back into a relationship with him either. You were nervous about doing so. Although both intimately and on a communication level, things were going better than they had ever before, you still were worried about the past haunting you both.

“Maybe we’re the type who should remain like this,” you murmured as Kihyun whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

He tensed but only for a little.

“Sleeping with each other?”

Propping yourself up on an elbow, you tenderly kissed his shoulder before catching his gaze. “We’ve always been great at this aspect.”

“The best I’ve ever had was always with you. Especially now.”

“So we shouldn’t ruin that with dating again.”

“You don’t want to?”

“I don’t want us to fight and be toxic again,” you confessed, and Kihyun nodded.

“Besides, I kind of promised my friends I would never date you ever again.”

He chuckled and pulled you on top of him playfully, helping you so you were straddled over his waist. “I could only imagine if they caught us now. Sneaking around like this.”

“Well, what they don’t know can’t hurt them,” you mused, leaning down to meet his lips in another passionate embrace.

However, it wasn’t long until you felt caught out by your friends. Thankfully, you lived alone, but both Lauri and Claudia had gotten married and lived a block over. Meeting them for coffee two days later, you noticed the way they looked at you. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“Yeah, you look satisfied.”

“I did sleep well last night,” you mentioned with a grin. “They say you can face anything with a good night’s rest!”

“No, it’s more than that. Your eyes are brighter,” Lauri observed, and her wife agreed. “You’re holding yourself differently too.”

“Are you seeing someone?” Claudia concluded, and you laughed and shook your head.

“I’m not in the mood for dating.”

“You know, it’s a little strange. I saw someone– now don’t get alarmed about it, Y/N. The other day, I was down here getting coffee for Clauds and I, and I swore I saw Kihyun here grabbing a drink.”

“Kihyun?!” Claudia asked, darting her eyes between her wife and you repeatedly. “The Kihyun?!”

“How many Kihyun’s do we know?” Lauri replied and then watched for your reaction. You hoped you looked only semi-curious and not panicked as you were feeling inwardly. “He looked good. Maybe he’s seeing someone.”

Both women looked at you, and you laughed airily. “Don’t link him to me. It’s just a coincidence.”

---

 

“You can’t stay over tonight,” you told the man settling into the bed beside you after winding down from the high you had both recently travelled together to.

Kihyun laughed. “So your friends saw me. What are we? Teenagers with a curfew?!”

“Maybe I don’t want to listen to them berate me about us.”

“If they can’t accept what you do as a grown adult, then they’re not true friends,” Kihyun told you, rubbing your arm gently. “Besides, you made it clear about this arrangement being only physical.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Stop stressing, baby,” he stated softly, and you were too stunned by the use of the old nickname to argue any further. Kihyun realised his slip up and sat up. “Maybe I shouldn’t stay tonight.”

“That’s a good idea,” you agreed, helping him gather up the work suit you had all but ripped off of him on the way to your bedroom earlier. He put on his shoes at the front door and opened it, stepping outside. You went to wave him off, but Kihyun shook his head, tapping on his cheek with a finger.

“Send me off properly,” he teased, and you disagreed, your gaze darting down the street both ways. Kihyun’s smile softened. “It’s dark. No one is going to see you. Or me.”

Taking in a deep breath, you stepped down to where he waited for you and slipped your arms around his neck, kissing him softly.

Kihyun’s lips lingered around yours when you pulled away. “Do I really have to go?”

“I don’t want you to,” you admitted with a whisper.

“I’m not sorry for calling you baby, either,” he confessed, kissing you again before hoisting you up into his arms and carrying you back inside. “I’m not sorry for any of this.”

“We have nothing to be sorry about,” you told him as you loosened off the buttons to his shirt and latched onto his shoulder.

Kihyun’s urgent movement stopped, and you lifted your head to see why. After soul searching for a moment, he blinked several times before blurting out, “I’m still in love with you, Y/N. I know I shouldn’t be, but for me, this isn’t just a fling. Even after everything, I still want to be with you.”

You slipped out of his arms and onto your feet, staring wide-eyed at him, fear for the past and hope for a future overwhelming you.