Chapter 10

Unsure, Taemin entered the wagon. He was feeling torn. He enjoyed the time he could spend alone with Minho, without any distractions. At the same time, this time also scared him, because it made him believe something, an illusion that Minho and he could be together so carefree forever.

Minho lit the fire in his small fireplace and sat down on the couch with Taemin. Looking at Taemin like this, he could not deny his untamed beauty but savored every moment he let his eyes linger on Taemins countenance, trying to memorize all his unique features. Taemins large dark almond-shaped eyes rested full of hope in his. His full lips, which held the sweetest smile in this world, were bathed in a soft shade of pink. Even the small birthmark that was centered on the wing of his nose was something he never wanted to forget.

But when he looked at Taemin like this and wanted to confess everything to him, his old familiar companions, sorrow and insecurity crept up again. He wanted Taemin to know how special Taemin was to him, how often he had to think of him when the two of them weren't together, and how he wanted nothing more than for Taemin to be happy, even if he could never be the reason for his long-lasting happiness, no matter how strong his desire for exactly that was.

"You don't have to do any extra heating, I better get on my way." Quietly, Taemin said these words, and Minho felt as if there was sadness hidden inside of them.

Minhos gaze reminded Taemin once again that he would not be able to feel this beautiful sight around him forever, and his heart grew heavy once more. He did not understand how it was possible for one human being to trigger the deepest feelings of happiness and at the same time the greatest pain in him. But he tried to disregard the pain, because he wanted to enjoy every single minute with Minho, so that when he looked back on this time, he would not be reminded that he would never be able to see him again.

"Taemin..." Minhos dark voice sounded so soft that it reminded Taemin of honey, flowing delicately and golden. The more he heard of it, the more he wanted to feel that sweetness, with all its timeless healing effects.

"There is something I wanted to tell you." Only slowly did the words find their way across Minhos lips.

"But I don't quite know where to start, or how to tell you."

"That's all right. Take all the time you need." Taemin put his hand on Minhos knee encouragingly and looked at him upliftingly.

His words were sincere; he would sit here and wait for Minho to find the right words for whatever it was he wanted to tell him. A little he even wished Minho would think extra long for each word so he could look into his endlessly deep eyes even longer.

Minho felt it piercing in his chest, he was once again allowed to witness Taemins confidence towards him and was allowed to take his patient words to heart, for he knew Taemin meant them.

"My parents..." at these words Taemins heart tightened, for he remembered Jinkis story of how Minho found his way to live in the circus.

His grip on Minhos knee tightened and heat slowly rose in his cheeks. How should he react when Minho now told him what had happened to him? Should he pretend he didn't know? But he did not want to lie to Minho. Minho felt Taemins touch intensify.

"My parents died when I was very young." He took Taemins tensed hand in his and gently it with his thumb.

"If it wasn't for the circus, I would have no home today, no family." Taemin focused all his strength on Minhos words, even as Minhos tender touch drove his emotions, those of happiness and also those of sorrow, into infinity.

He cherished the way Minho caressed him so gently, but at the same time it hurt him to think that Minho remembered such painful days.

"I can't just abandon them." Carefully he chose his words, for if there was one thing he did not want, it was to hurt Taemin. Gradually, Taemin realized what Minho was trying to tell him.

"Minho..." at that, he didn't need to explain it or justify himself, because Taemin had known from the beginning, and he would never have asked or expected him to do otherwise. He wanted to tell him all this, but Minho would not let him speak any further.

"I want you to be happy, and I want you to find someone who will cheer you on as much as you cheer me on." Minho interrupted Taemin, who had spoken out his name in a trembling voice.

Never had Minho thought that there could be so much sadness in Taemins voice when he spoke his name, which was exactly what he wanted to avoid. He chastised himself for being the one to carry such audible despair to Taemin, who should be treated like a prince, in his lovely voice. And Taemin wanted to scream, but his emotions were going wild and he could find no words that could ever express what he was feeling. Minho owed him nothing.

"I never want to miss the time I was so blessed to spent with you." Taemin didn't know what to say. Minhos words sounded beautiful in his ears, but then why did they hurt so relentlessly?

"Please don't forget me." Minho unfastened one of his necklaces from his neck. Taemin remembered how Minho had kissed both of them every tim