Chapter 12

Minho couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. No matter how much Taemin had tried to convince him otherwise, it was his fault that his best friend, his brother, was in mortal danger. Because he had not been paying attention, the man, back then still a child, who had given him a life, had been injured.

He never wanted that. He would never want to hurt Jinki or Key, especially not on purpose. He didn't know how he would ever be able to look Key in the eye again if Jinki spent his last hours tortured by pain in a hospital.

All night he had packed and unpacked his suitcase, sitting still was not an option. But no matter how many times he folded and re-sorted things, his remorseful thoughts could find no peace.

"It wasn't your fault." Softly and gently, he whispered the words.

Taemin stood behind Minho, who was frantically opening his suitcase for the countlessth time, and placed a hand on his shoulder soothingly. He leaned his head against Minhos back and exhaled heavily. His hands slid delicately along Minhos arms, comforting, pleading, and to find his own grip.

It ached him to see Minho like this. For not only was he worried about Jinki, but he blamed himself. It was also a mystery to Taemin how something like this could happen at all. Roo had not been asleep yesterday when he and Minho had gone to bed. Wouldn't the lion have opened the cage in the evening then, rather than at night?

"What...what if..." but Minho could no longer even utter the words.

The crushing feeling of helplessness, the endless torment of losing his family again, knowing he was to blame, drove a thought back in his mind, which he tried to forget about. The dark wish that he should have gone with his parents back then, that he didn't deserve life, a second chance.

Sinister, they crawled forth, seeping from every wall, intent on covering his heart so that it would never be found again. As if they mocked him, that it was foolish of him even to suppose that he could dare to believe that joy and happiness were granted him only in the smallest degree.

These thoughts multiplied faster and were much stronger than all those he had allowed to enter him in the years before. They collapsed on him like fragments that could never have been reunited, under which he could never have been found again. 

Taemin looked down at his lover fondly and with heavy eyes and his black, slightly wavy hair tenderly. He had never noticed before how long Minhos dark eyelashes were.

The first rays of sunlight tickled Taemins eyes and promised a warm day. The fresh morning air did him good and he was happy to have time for himself and to be able to see the animals.

"Good morning." He said softly as he entered the ponies' stable.

"You've had an exciting night, haven't you?" He each one before grabbing the gloves that hung on the wall and set about changing the hay, filling their food and refilling the drinking water.

It was still exhausting physical work for him, as he was not used to doing everything on his own, but to help. But the thought that he could let Minho rest for a few hours gave him a boost.

On the way to the lamas, Taemin had to pause because there were still clear red marks on the ground there. It struck him when he thought of all the blood Jinki had lost and he reflexively closed his hand around his mouth. The acrid smell of metal rose to his nostrils again and made his stomach turn.

Thinking of Roo, he leaned the pitchfork against a cart and walked over to the still peacefully sleeping lion. Wearily, he sat down in front of its cage and played with the blades of grass in front of and around him.

"Oh Roo..." He had helped Minho yesterday, under the guidance of the paramedics, to detach Roos killing fangs from Jinkis body, while Key repeatedly pleaded with the unconscious Jinki.

Open flesh turning the darkest red and discoloring and overlapping in the lightest pink shade was a sight forever burned into his memory.

Lifeless, as if it were a stranger to Jinkis body, the flesh tumbled down his body.

His hands began to tremble, so relentless and merciless as he saw the gruesome image vividly before him again. A thousand thoughts piled up inside him to form a heavy burden, and he didn't know how long he would be able to carry it. How is Jinki? Will he survive? What will become of Roo? What will happen to Minho? Would the ringmaster really throw him out?

He would give Minho she