Chapter 13

Only a few hours separated Minho from his first performance in front of an audience. He knew all the sequences and the choreography in and out, not only because he was allowed to admire the performance of Jinki every evening, but had been taught the movements by that very man himself.

"Don’t stress yourself." Jinki spoke encouragingly and full of confidence to Minho. Tense, Minho ran his hand over the back of his neck and exhaled deeply. As usual, they were sitting in the arena, only today they were not practicing, they were just sitting there. The empty circle suddenly seemed much bigger to Minho than ever before.

"I don't know if I can do this." Taemin had given Minho sleep, but Minho still sounded tired. In his mind, none of this made sense. Of course it was his dream just once to dance up there on the trapeze in front of an audience, but he hadn't earned it, not like this. He hadn't worked for it but, it seemed to him, had been given this chance with a lazy trick.

"Minho..." Taemin snuggled up to Minho and his hand soothingly.

"Now stop whining!" Keys words were sharp as knives. The others looked over at him at the severity of his words. He folded his arms and continued to speak angrily at Minho.

"Do you know what others would do for a chance like this? And you sit here feeling sorry for yourself! Yet you don't understand anything!" Minhos heart tightened, for Key was right. Not only was he allowed to live his dream, he was ungrateful for it. Key snorted and could no longer look Minho in the eye.

"If it hadn't been for you, things would have been worse than they are!" Key tried to suppress a sniffle and hoped fervently that his trembling would not be noticed by the others.

"I already told you. I would have been too slow. And then what? Then either the ponies would be dead or you or Jinki! All the time you're worrying about what you didn't do and you don't even see what you did!"

In his head Minho reviewed the events. If Key had gone to get the rifle it would have taken longer, that was true. And when Roo was at the ponies' stable, would he have been quick enough to flee from Roo until Key arrived with the tranquillizer? Would Key have hit Roo at the first try? If Jinki had intervened with him too, would Jinki now be...?

Is that what his friends really thought? Would that awful night have had another outcome if Minho hadn't been there?

The tightening in his heart loosened and gave way for a trace of hope. Minho could only slightly perceive Keys profile as he had turned away. But Minho thought he saw something wet flowing down Keys cheek.

"The truth is, after all..." Key slowly turned his head back towards Minho, hoping to keep enough composure to shout at his best friend and give him a piece of his mind, but stopped when he looked at Minho.

"What are you grinning at?!"

The blush on Keys face now intensified and angrily he hissed at Minho who looked at him lovingly and touched. At Keys outburst, neither Jinki nor Taemin could contain a laugh, which only fuelled Keys anger, which in turn earned more laughter. Hilarity replaced the distress and anxiety of the fearful hours.

"All right." Cheerful and with much confidence in his voice, Minho spoke.

"I won't let you down. I will give my best."

Key abruptly stopped nagging, for he sensed that Minho meant it and not just said it to shut him up. And that was what he always wanted to see in his best friend. He wanted him to see how much talent and passion he had in him and that he would achieve his dreams, but he would never give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

"I sure hope so!" he chastised him, still grumbling about it.

"The doctor said it will be a while before my arm is back to full use. I'm sure the Director will see over the week that you're amazing and won't kick you out."

Key looked at Jinki without real understanding, but Jinki didn't comment on it. Key didn't address it further.

"So you won't get kicked out after all!" With an optimistic smile, Taemin agreed with Jinki, even if it tasted bittersweet.

"Tae..." Minho wanted to tell him that there was no point. The ringmaster hated him, he had made that abundantly clear now. But Taemin would not be swayed.

"Jinki is right." There was a touch of acrimony in Taemins words. He wanted to be with Minho, and he wanted to be with him forever. But if it meant Minho giving up the circus, and therefore his dream, then it wasn't worth it for Taemin.