Baekhyun was twelve when he first promised to himself he would never fall in love.

When Baekhyun got home from school all by himself, he found his mother staring at the table emptily. She worked a nine to five job as a cashier in a convenience store, but there were days she didn’t work. She was only a part-timer to ensure she still had more time to take care of her only son. Baekhyun had gotten used to seeing his mother greet him with a smile despite another hard day at work, but her eyes were downcast to the table, her thin lips pressed into a line.

Baekhyun’s smile fell. “Mom? What’s wrong?”

Startled, his mother looked up from her daze, smiling at the sight of her only son. She stood up, wiping off imaginary dust at her jeans. Her arms reached out to help him out of his schoolbag, her sadness hidden behind that motherly smile Baekhyun always felt comforted by. “It’s nothing, honey. Did you walk home by yourself?” she placed his bag down on the sofa, frowning when Baekhyun took off his shoes by the door. “Your Dad didn’t pick you up?”

“He’s at work.”

His mother snorted. “Right. He’s always at work.”

“I made you a present,” he beamed, bobbing up to her way before pulling out the beaded bracelet. It wasn’t much and the colors were a bit mismatched, but he handed it to her with so much excitement and pride over his work. He noticed his Mom had been getting quieter lately, and he wanted to do everything he could to see her smile again. “Happy Birthday, Mom.”

“Oh my sweet boy, you didn’t have to! You actually remembered?” She cooed, allowing him to slip the bracelet through her wrist.

“Of course I remembered. How could I forget?”

“You’ve always been a sweet little boy,” she mussed up his hair, and Baekhyun laughed. “Say, do you want to go out to the park when your Dad comes home?”

Baekhyun tipped his head to the side. His dad was a bodyguard for his best friend’s family, the Parks. The Park Family were new businessmen with just their company beginning to grow, but Baekhyun grew up with their son, Chanyeol, that their difference in status didn’t matter to him anymore. The only thing he was slightly bothered by was the fact his work was so demanding he rarely came home. As much as he knew how much his dad loved his mom, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it tonight.

“It’ll be late when he does.”

His mother, although stricken with grief, only brushed his bangs away from his eyes. She looked hopeful under the flickering lights of their small home, and he held onto his mother’s words. “We’ll wait for him anyway, won’t we?”

They both did. An hour turned into two, then into five, and soon Baekhyun had sleepily walked into his room. He’d been tired from his previous training with his father, and add on his school, his body was beyond exhausted. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep for or why his mom never woke him, but he stirred awake. The clock on his bedside table let him know too much had time passed already.

His father still hadn’t come home, which meant his mom was probably still waiting outside.

As he expected, his mom remained on the couch. Her legs bounced up and down as she cradled her head in her hands. Baekhyun rapped his knuckles against the door frame. “Mom. It’s already three in the morning.”

She didn’t look up. “I’m okay, Baekhyun. Go to sleep. You still have school tomorrow.”

“You should sleep too. You’re tired.”

“You’re right,” she mumbled. “I am tired.”

***

Chungju Primary School was one of the most prestigious schools out there. With crest white buildings and security teams everywhere to protect one of the most important children in the building, Baekhyun and Chanyeol felt small. The school, although mostly filled with children aged nine to twelve, felt more like a madhouse than anything.

Everyone always had words to speak behind your back, cupping their mouths with their palms as they all looked down on one another. Even though Baekhyun was technically an outsider, he could still feel the tension. He felt everyone’s eyes on him when he walked to the school—that’s right, he walked—judging and criticizing him for not having his own chauffeur or a lunch prepared by a culinary team from France.

Baekhyun didn’t mind though. The moment he stepped foot in the enormous school, he’d long accepted the fact he didn’t belong. The only reason he could hold his head high was because of the fact he worked hard to get here. Day and night he shed blood and sweat studying to pass the entrance exam.

He may not have a sports car or a trip to the Alps as a birthday gift, but Baekhyun had dignity. That was enough for him.

Chanyeol, who stood beside him, however, crumbled with every negative word sent his way. His mom absolutely spoiled and pampered him—whatnot with him being the only child and all. They were also new in the socialite industry and still familiarizing themselves with the power and wealth it came with, thus Mrs. Park—or as Baekhyun called Aunt Chaehee—made sure her son never skipped his three meals. Sometimes three meals, with appetizer and dessert, and a midnight snack.

As if being “fresh meat” wasn’t bad enough, Chanyeol stuck out like a sore thumb from his healthy weight. His cheeks were round and plush, his arms sticking out his side cutely. He was also taller than most of the kids in their class, and the two of them weren’t an exception from the harsh world of the people of Chungju.

“Look at him, attending Chungju and memorizing Chinese characters,” a younger girl commented as they both walked to the parking lot where everyone was picked up in limousines. Baekhyun looked at the girl. If he remembered correctly, she was an heiress to a resort chain, but he couldn’t care less. The girl could be a mermaid for all that mattered, and Baekhyun still wouldn’t spare her one more glance with that attitude. From beside him, Chanyeol’s cheeks reddened. “He’s acting like he’s a lot more important than he should be. Did you hear about them being bankrupt? It’s so humiliating.”

“He even brings around that kid with him,” rolled the eyes of her companion, pertaining to a lankier, smaller Baekhyun who kept his head straight forwards. “Said he was their bodyguard’s son. What was his name? Baekhyun?”

“The scholar? I don’t care about him. They don’t belong here. They’re just pretentious.”

Chanyeol’s cheeks shook from anger as he closed his book, turning back around to give those girls a piece of his mind. Baekhyun’s hand reached out to him on reflex, his grip tight on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “You know you don’t have to listen to what they say. Those are just words.”

“They still hurt,” he argued, stomping his foot childishly. Although reluctant, Chanyeol turned away and followed Baekhyun. He pouted cutely beside his friend, arms crossed on his chest. “I never even wanted to be here.”

“You can’t avoid people talking about you. You just gotta ignore them.”

“How are you even so unbothered by this?”

“It won’t make me feel better if I let them get to me. Sometimes you just gotta pretend you can’t hear anything,” he shrugged carelessly. Baekhyun had enough practice of pretending he didn’t know anything back at home. From the way he acted like he had no idea his mom cried herself to sleep every night, or how his dad rarely came home—Baekhyun was an expert at ignoring things. Words from people he didn’t even care about didn’t matter to him.

He glanced at Chanyeol who followed him even as he walked out the gates. “Aren’t you going home? Where’s your driver?”

“Mom and Dad left for work today. I don’t really wanna go back home alone.”

“Well, I can’t go with you. Mom will be home soon and she’s probably got some groceries. I have to help her with that.”

“I know,” Chanyeol beamed. “Which is why I’m going with you.”

Baekhyun shrugged. “My house isn’t that nice compared to yours.”

“Come on, Baek, when did I ever care what your house looked like?”

“Okay, but don’t go complaining when you feel like the place suffocates you,” He said, shoving his fingers in his pockets. Baekhyun winced when he felt the freshness of his cuts from his training.

Chanyeol was more than glad to follow him all the way to their small, humble village. It was a place where everyone knew everyone, and the walls were so paper thin you knew exactly which family had issues or not. Thankfully, everyone in the neighborhood seemed friendly and nice enough. Still, it was nothing compared to the high end penthouse Chanyeol lived in. Since they were only making their way up in the social ladder, along with the fact they went bankrupt a few years ago, the Park Manor was still under construction.

Baekhyun gestured for Chanyeol to take off his shoes. His best friend gladly complied, not minding the smaller and darker house one bit. “Do you want something to eat?”

“I’m good,” he said from his spot on the couch, already flicking through the very few channels “Let’s play some video games.”

“I don’t have any,” replied Baekhyun with a soda in his hand, sitting down next to his friend.

“Why not? Your father can afford them, can’t he?”

“He can,” he took a sip. “But he doesn’t think I need them. They don’t interest me that much anyway. I’d much rather train.”

“Baek, we’re twelve. You shouldn’t go around learning how to throw knives when—” His words were cut off by a knocking from the door, followed by a light, airy voice Baekhyun knew too well.

“Baekhyun?” the girl outside called, making their heads turn towards the door. “Mrs. Byun? Is anyone home?”

Baekhyun stood up from his seat, Chanyeol following him warily. “I didn’t know you were having visitors.”

“That’s not a visitor. It’s just my neighbour,” he opened the door, where he was greeted by round cheeks and golden skin. She was the most beautiful girl in their neighbourhood, the one everyone wanted to be friends with, and the one every boy crushed on. Everyone except Baekhyun. “Oh, Eun-Jung. What brings you here?”

“Dad had these baked for your family. He hopes you like them,” she handed him a white box, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He was sure the gesture was enough to make someone’s heart flutter, and the stifled gasp from the boy behind him was no exception to Eun-Jung’s allure. “He was supposed to give it to your Mom this morning but he forgot.”

Baekhyun smiled gratefully at her. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s for your Mom’s birthday,” she beamed, a movement behind him catching her attention. Her almond shaped eyes slid over to the person past his shoulder, glossing over with interest. She flashed him her most dazzling smile. “Hello.”

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you,” Baekhyun stepped aside, revealing his friend who suddenly grabbed his shirt not so subtly. Chanyeol went pale when Eun-Jung looked up at him up and down, his lips pursed. He resisted the urge to laugh at Chanyeol’s flustered state before trying to act like he didn’t know anything. “This is my friend, Chanyeol.”

“H-hello.”

She extended her hand for him to take. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Wang Eun-Jung. I live next door.”

Chanyeol leaned towards Baekhyun, his lips near his ear as he whispered. “You didn’t tell me you had such a pretty neighbour,” He withdrew the same time Baekhyun rolled his eyes, watching as Chanyeol shook her hand, making sure he flashed his Rolex watch on the way. “It’s nice to meet you too. I go to the same school with Baek.”

Eun-Jung’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, you’re a scholar too?”

“No, I’m…”

“Let me guess: a corporate heir?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“You don’t have to be shy. I don’t mind you being one,” she shrugged, looking back at Baekhyun with a different kind of smile. “Besides, if you’re friends with Baekhyun, then it means you’re a good person too.”

“R-right,” coughed out Chanyeol, wiping his now sweaty palms on his pants. “So, uhm, which school do you go to?”

“Bucheon’s Primary School,” she gestured to something behind her. Bucheon Primary School was the one Baekhyun was supposed to attend, but Mr. Park insisted the two boys be together at all times, and he didn’t complain. If being the odd one out meant quality education, Baekhyun didn’t mind at all. Besides, a part of him didn’t really want to be swarmed with the throng of Eun-Jung’s friends and admirers.

“It’s just a public school. Nothing fancy.”

“I see.”

Baekhyun stepped in, raising the box of cake. “Well, thank you so much for the cake, Eun-Jung. Send my regards to your Dad. I’m sure my mother will love it.”

“Okay,” she smiled, lifting a slender hand to wave at them. “See you around, Baek. You too, Yeol.”

From beside him, Chanyeol choked. “Yeol?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. He pushed past him and went towards the refrigerator, making sure the cake would be the first thing his Mom saw. She’d been acting a lot more aloof these days due to his father’s absence. Although his mom assumed he couldn’t hear her crying herself to sleep at night, Baekhyun still couldn’t handle the thought his mom wept on just the other side of the wall. It felt weirder to wake up the next morning, only to be greeted by his mom who smiled like there was nothing wrong in the world.

Maybe that’s what Baekhyun inherited from his mom—the ability to pretend that nothing was ever wrong, even if their life slowly crumbled into pieces.

“What’s wrong with you, man? You’re acting totally weird.”

“Me? I’m the weird one?” he exclaimed, placing his hands on Baekhyun’s shoulders. Chanyeol’s eyes were wide and frantic, the glasses slipping off his nose. “She was totally all over you!”

Baekhyun sighed. He’d heard enough from his mom that Eun-Jung supposedly had a crush on him. He didn’t believe it. Eun-Jung had just always been exceptionally friendly due to her extroverted nature, and even if she did like him, he didn’t care. Eun-Jung was far too gallant and loud for his liking. He treasured her as a friend and respected her as a neighbour, but he also wished people didn’t expect too much from them. Baekhyun was only twelve, after all. “Eun-Jung is a childhood friend of mine. She doesn’t like me like that.”

Chanyeol gave him a look that said ‘are you kidding?’ “She definitely has a crush on you.”

He raised a brow at his friend, gently shoving him away with his shoulder. “You sure you don’t?”

“Pff,” he defended, waving an arm in the air. The dreamy look on his eyes said otherwise. “Even if I did, she’s too pretty for me. There’s no way she’d like me.”

Baekhyun didn’t say anything else, even as Chanyeol hoarded their leftovers and binged on an animation about robots fighting robots. He merely kept to his side, his mind going back and forth to how his mother had slowly become like his father as well. Their constant absences made the house feel lonelier and emptier—that even Chanyeol’s rambunctious laughter didn’t fill the void he felt.

A part of him envied his friend. His parents, although not constantly around, definitely placed more attention to their son than on their jobs. If they weren’t busy for work, his parents would personally drop him off at school or Mrs. Park would give them a ride home. But while Baekhyun was dropped off at the loud silence of his house that bounced off the walls, Chanyeol would be brought to the park or the beach. It was clear his parents loved him dearly—and Baekhyun glanced at him with envy.

He knew he shouldn’t compare himself to Chanyeol. It wasn’t his fault he was born in a different world. Baekhyun didn’t ask to be rich, he just wanted his parents to love him. Deep down, Baekhyun was reassured they did, but he couldn’t ignore how his mother always came so late, smelling strongly of alcohol and something else entirely.

Chanyeol’s chauffeur dropped by eventually after he dropped a text saying he was at the Byun’s. Baekhyun didn’t want him to leave, even if Chanyeol was perfectly capable of entertaining himself the same way Baekhyun always kept quiet. But he still didn’t want to be suffocated in his own home out of all places. Sadly, the world wasn’t kind enough to grant his wishes, and Baekhyun was left alone.

There wasn’t much to do afterwards. Baekhyun wasn’t like any normal young boy his age who played around with their friends. He’d always been a little too aloof and distant than what was considered usual, doing homework and spending hours training the craft of martial arts instead. So that’s what he did, keeping his father’s instructions to heart as he practiced his balance, repeating every sequence until he felt confident he could make his father proud in their next training.

When the clock hit ten, Baekhyun freshened up and changed into a new pair of clothes, one that wasn’t coated in his sweat. He then ran to the edge of the block where he knew his mom would turn in just a few minutes from now.

Just as he expected, his mom came, only this time she was in Mr. Wang’s vehicle.

Eun-Jung’s father was a close friend of theirs. As a single dad raising his daughter all by himself, his mom frequented his bakery to help him out sometimes. The two became close friends immediately, resulting in both Baekhyun and Eun-Jung being friends as well.

Baekhyun watched as his mom left his car. “Good night, Mr. Wang. Thank you so much for the ride.” In her arms were a bag of groceries. Although still young, Baekhyun didn’t want his mom’s back to be hurt, so he immediately ran up to her.

“Mom!” he greeted, taking most of the bags in her arms. “Let me help you with that.”

“Thank you, my son,” she said. The two of them walked back quietly all the way back to their house. Although silent, Baekhyun felt happy his mom had now come home, even if the bags weighed down heavily on him and strained his muscles. His mom looked tired yet happy however, so he smiled through the pain and let her comb her fingers through his silky hair. “So how was school today?”

“It went fine. The people talked badly about us, as usual.”

His mother’s eyes darkened even as they made it inside. “I always told your Dad he shouldn’t have put you there.”

He shook his head. For some reason, Baekhyun always had the need to defend his dad to his mom. She always misunderstood his good intentions for their family, and while his mom loved his dad, he still didn’t want any tension between them. “It’s a good opportunity, Mom. Higher education, as they say.”

“You mean, more expensive education,” she took the bags from his hold and placed it on the table. The two of them began sorting the groceries. “You’re going to Eun-Jung’s school next month.”

“What?” Baekhyun nearly dropped the carton of eggs. “Mom, you can’t do that! I’m a scholar already, I’ve got a bright future ahead of me!”

His mom turned to him with a scowl. “A bright future that your father wastes by teaching you how to fight!” She roughly grabbed his arm, pushing his sleeves back to reveal the splotches of bruises that littered his pale skin. His mother scoffed. “Look at you! No little boy should have bruises and cuts in his body!”

He withdrew his arm back, rubbing at the sore spot from when she gripped him too hard. His muscles were still sore from when his dad had forced him to keep his arms flat in the air as some sort of resistance exercise. Baekhyun was aware his mother never approved of their training, but Baekhyun couldn’t imagine being anyone else but a bodyguard. He just had this drive and need to protect the people he cared about. How could he do that when he didn’t even know how to fight for himself?

A pout crossed his face. “He’s training me to take after him.”

“Even when it comes to his child, all he cares about is his job?!” She bellowed, throwing her hands up in the air, a finger angrily pointed at him. “He doesn’t care for us, Baekhyun, he never did! I should’ve just left your Dad long ago and went with Eun-Seop—” she suddenly stopped, a gasp barely stifled by her palm placed flat on her lips. His mom stepped forwards, about to grab her son when Baekhyun took a step back, disgust clear on his features. “Baekhyun. I didn’t mean it. You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

He didn’t want to believe it.

His stomach churned uncomfortably at his mom’s guilty expression, but he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to know if his mom really did cheat on his dad—with Eun-Jung’s father out of all people. But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, it made perfect sense. They’d always been together since the beginning that Baekhyun almost believed he never had a dad in the first place.

“What do you mean go with Mr. Wang?”

“Baekhyun, darling, I—” she stopped in her tracks, voice cracking in defeat. “—I’m sorry. But you can’t blame me, son. Your dad...he’s never home and when he is, he’s always tired and asleep. I don’t even feel like we’re married anymore. He and I are just two people living under the same roof.”

“So you cheated on him?”

“Cheated? You think I cheated on your Dad?” she looked appalled. “Is that what you honestly think of me?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Mom,” tears stung his eyes, which he stubbornly wiped away. He was a big boy—his father always said so—he wasn’t going to cry in front of his mom now. Not even when his heart beat faster with hurt present in every fibre of his being. “You always come home late, and when you do, you’re always in Mr. Wang’s car. You don’t think I notice? I always wait for you around the block, hoping either one of my parents would come home! The other is barely around, and the other wants to leave me too!”

She slammed a fist to her chest. “Do you think I wanted this too?! Do you think I wanted to be unfaithful to my husband who acts like I don’t even exist?!”

“Dad’s busy with work! He got you pregnant when you were both in high school, of course he’s doing everything he can to raise me and provide for the both of us!”

“I never asked him to!” she fought back. “I loved your Dad, Baekhyun. He was my world but-but...but then his stupid job always keeps him away and he doesn’t even have the energy to look at me anymore! I’m not asking for him to provide for us, I’m asking him to be a husband.”

Baekhyun stared at his mom in disbelief. The woman he adored for always reading him bedtime stories and cooking him the best meals—the woman he was proud to call his mother—didn’t seem the same anymore. Baekhyun no longer recognized her, and he stepped away from her. “Then you’d rather us be homeless, just as long as you can be with him?”

A beat skipped before she breathed out, “That’s what I wanted at first. Now though? Now I’m not so sure.”

“Because you found Mr. Wang.”

His mom didn’t deny it. Silence encompassed them, a silence worse than the one he grew up. This silence resonated around the house not as a reminder he felt alone, but with a finality that told him to give up. His mom looked equally done with it as well, because she brushed her hands through her hair, eyes pointedly averted with his.

Baekhyun was right. This woman was no longer his mom.

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun. He was there when I needed him the most.”

“Think about what Eun-Jung would say,” he mumbled. “Think about what Dad would feel. He’s gonna come home tired after a long, honest day at work, and then—”

“I’m home!” a cheery voice announced from the doorway. Baekhyun watched with frantic eyes as his father took off his shoes, wrapping one strong arm around his wife’s shoulders while the other held a large square box. “I got us some pizza!”

His mother froze, turning sideways to her husband with a shaky smile. “Honey. You’re home early.”

Baekhyun’s dad looked tired. Gray hairs were growing out in patches despite not being that old, and his eyes drooped with exhaustion. Nevertheless, he smiled lovingly at his wife, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Baekhyun didn’t miss the way she shut her eyes—not to bask in the feeling—but out of shame.

“I missed my wife’s birthday yesterday. Surely I can make up for it,” he grinned at her. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll go set the table,” he offered, smiling down at Baekhyun, completely oblivious to the tension present in the house. “Go freshen up, son. We’re having a mini feast!”

“Baekhyun—”

His cold gaze cut through his Mom’s eyes, effectively silencing her. “Mr. Wang left a cake for you.”

***

“Baekhyun!” cheered by a voice beside him. A shoulder bumped against his, and Eun-Jung’s raven locks bounced with each step she took. Like the brightness of the morning, she embodied everything that radiated happiness and beauty. It was clear she didn’t know yet the truth over their parents’ affair, and Baekhyun looked away from her in guilt. Eun-Jung was so nice and innocent; he couldn’t even begin to fathom how much it’d break her heart once she found out the father she looked up to wasn’t that admirable. “I heard your Mom transferred you to Bucheon.”

Baekhyun mustered a smile. “I’ll be walking with you to school every day, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” she shook her head, then her cheeks reddened softly. “I always wanted to walk to school with you.”

Baekhyun only nodded. He let Eun-Jung talk all the way to school. She was chatty and bubbly; talking about the most irrelevant