thirteen.

When Roses Kiss
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Sleep wasn’t going to come easily this time.

 

The last few days had been nothing but perfect for Mari. Not only did she have Chanyeol’s full attention to herself while he nursed her back to happiness, but he was finally starting to warm up to her. They’d spent several hours just cuddling on the couch as Chanyeol lazily flicked from one Netflix show to another, his arms tight around her waist and her cheek pressed to his collarbones.

 

He was as warm as he smelled good; the perfect yet deadly combination of the man she oh so craved. Mari had been too drunk and used to Chanyeol being there for her that when she woke up alone in her own bed, she let out a disheartened sigh.

 

Because of her current state, Chanyeol had insisted he didn’t go to work to look after her, leading him into having Jongdae bring all his work to the penthouse ever since. But he was still a businessman who had matters to attend to, so she understood why Chanyeol brought her to bed. He was probably working now, even as the clock read three in the morning, and Mari tossed and turned in her bed.

 

Chanyeol’s presence was comforting enough that he kept the nightmares at bay. The moment he left her alone, though, they came back just as vividly, just as horribly, and Mari was left panting under the sheets. Her thighs were pressed against her chest as she shook the images out of her head, sweat dotting her hairline.

 

The nightmares were different now.

 

Gone were the knives and chains that made her tremble, and instead they were replaced by cold, empty eyes that stared back at her. Several lifeless bodies were cramped in the same cellar as she did, the foul stench of their rotten skin making her gag.

 

Their bodies were a shade of pale blue that grayed on the edges, but it was their eyes that haunted her the most. Pools of the aftertaste of suffering and death looked back at her mockingly, their equally pale lips moving ghostly to ask her why she couldn’t save them. Eventually, their mumbles turned into full on screams that demanded why Mari couldn’t help them, why she had abandoned them all left to die.

 

With a stifled cry, Mari flung the sheets off of her and jumped out of bed. Her knees were still unstable and shaky when she stood, tremors slowly travelling from her toes to the back of her neck until she felt lightheaded.

 

She didn’t even know tears had already escaped her eyes until she passed by her floor length mirror, giving her a glimpse of how broken she felt. Dark circles lined her eyes and her cheeks and lips were swollen from too much crying, while her dark hair was greasy and matting against her skin. She’d been sleeping so much that she forgot to shower yesterday, and she shivered lightly in disgust.

 

Deciding to make her bed to take her mind off things, Mari soon headed out to her room. Surprisingly enough, all the lights were off save for the sliver of light peeking under Chanyeol’s room.

 

Mari took slow, careful steps before pressing her ear against the door. Chanyeol seemed to be talking to someone on the phone, followed by the sound of a clipboard snapping shut and an exasperated sigh. Even with the door closed, Mari could imagine Chanyeol pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to keep his cool.

 

Something must’ve gone wrong from work.

 

Her knuckles were poised already to deliver a knock, but she soon lowered them with a frown. She wanted to help Chanyeol, she really did, but she wasn’t in her right mind to focus on things that she may just make things worse. Soon enough, she heard Chanyeol’s voice softening from inside, speaking rapidly in Korean that she couldn’t understand a single word he was saying.

 

Sighing in defeat, Mari tip-toed to the front door quietly. With one last look pointed to his room, she shut the door.

 

It wasn’t that hard to go to the rooftop infinity pool that only she and Chanyeol had access to. There was also no one around to stop her and all it took was a swipe of her keycard. Once she was sure she was alone, Mari peeled off her pyjamas and the sweater Chanyeol had worn over her before dipping into the cold water.

 

Mari shivered at first as the chill of the night air, along with the nearly freezing temperature of the water, bit at her skin. She stayed at the edge for a few minutes to let her body adjust to the coldness, then kicked her legs to swim. Her whole body dipped under the crystal coolness of the water, and she sat cross legged at the bottom of the pool.

 

Her mind was having trouble focusing, and if forcing herself to centre its thoughts on nothing but breathing, it was what she had to do.

 

Surrounded in nothing but placid silence, Mari let her mind drift off to wherever she pleased. She thought about her parents, wondering how they were doing without her, before they shifted into the very little memories she had of them. Her childhood was but a blurry part of her life, and it didn’t help that she didn’t have that many photographs either. Other than the multiple certificates she received from her private and expensive education that were all proudly framed on the wall, Mari didn’t really have anything to remember her old life by.

 

Which is why moving to Seoul had been nothing short of a whirlwind. She was able to learn everything from her experience — something she always wanted to do — but oddly enough, she didn’t feel satisfied. She didn’t even feel happy.

 

Sure, Chanyeol and her new friends were one of the best things to ever happen to her, but why was her heart still in pain? Why did it feel like the more she was surrounded by people, it felt that she was more alone than ever? Why was it that the more time she spent alone with Chanyeol being showered in affection — the affection she’d craved for how long — something still didn’t feel right?

 

Mari’s head broke the surface of the water as she gasped for air. Her bangs and hair were now sticking flatly to her body that was covered in nothing but her underwear, and she blinked back the water droplets that her lashes gathered.

 

Before she knew it, Mari began to cry.

 

Her tears mixed well with the water that she didn’t bother wiping them anymore, yet she still pressed her knuckles against the lid of her eyes. Another choked sob left her lips, her body shivering in the cold, but she didn’t mind them anymore. Not when her heart felt like it was breaking into pieces the more she thought about her parents, wondering why she didn’t know them that much.

 

She couldn’t even remember what her mother’s smile looked like.

 

She couldn’t even fathom what her father’s embrace felt like anymore.

 

Why was it that they were nothing but a fleeting part of her life, then she was married off to someone she barely even knew? She believed this was all she wanted, but none of it felt right. Mari was lonely — terribly so — that not even Chanyeol’s touch could keep the pain at bay.

 

The only time she ever felt truly free and accepted was with—

 

Mari shook her head. She didn’t want to think about him now.

 

Dipping her head in the water to get rid of the salty tears once more, Mari decided it was finally time to go back. Shivering when the cold air kissed her bare skin, Mari wrapped her arms around herself, cursing that she forgot to bring a towel. She was so lost in her own thoughts and needed to get away that she couldn’t even think straight, so she crossed her arms against her chest to offer some modesty.

 

Mari carefully walked back to the light switch near the door when the door slammed open, the harsh brightness of a flashlight pointed at her. Mari winced, shielding herself with the clothes she had in her hands.

 

“Who’s there?” The man barked, making Mari freeze once she recognized the voice. Then, all the hostility he previously wore dropped until he uttered softly, “Mari?”

 

Baekhyun lowered his phone down, his thumb swiping to turn the light off. Hesitantly, Mari opened her eyes, her breath getting caught in when she saw him. He was still as dangerously handsome as ever, but she took note of how he mirrored the same tiredness she felt.

 

Her eyes flitted down to the gun he held in his other hand.

 

Mari took a step back, eyes widening in fear as tears threatened to come again. Baekhyun saw the fear flashing in her eyes and he quickly hid the gun in his jacket, but it was too late. Mari was now running away from in a haste with broken sobs leaving her body, nothing but the thought of running to safety the only thing in her head.

 

“Mari, wait!” He called out, the sound of his rushed footsteps echoing behind her. Her heartbeat picked up in fear as she ran away, her clothes now dropped on the floor behind her. “Mari, stop, it’s dangerous!”

 

In a haste to get away from him, Mari forgot that the floor was still and wet and slippery, and she lost her balance when her foot slid in front of the other. A strangled cry broke from her lips as she cradled her injured ankle, crying harder when it throbbed in pain under her touch.

 

Baekhyun was by her side not long after, muttering a curse under his breath before shedding off his jacket. Mari flinched when she was surrounded by his warmth and scent, his jacket practically engulfing her.

 

His hands darted out to inspect her foot and she kicked him back with a wail, only for Baekhyun to dodge it effortlessly. While the heat of his skin was welcomed against her cold one, she still didn’t want him to touch her. Mari broke out into a full sob when Baekhyun massaged her foot before flexing it, and she wriggled away from his grip with a desperate plea on her lips.

 

“B-Baekhyun, don’t,” she begged with a shake of her head, “D-don’t hurt me, please!”

 

Mari watched Baekhyun’s face fall apart. First, his eyes drooped down in regret, his lips pulling into a straight line, then slowly and very carefully, he kept his hands to himself. She was still shivering and crying as she inched away from him in a desperate crawl. He looked like he wanted to help her but Mari was struggling to breathe that he was at an utter loss on what to do.

 

The doors soon opened with a loud slam, a head of platinum hair peeking in with wide, panicked eyes. “Mari?! Where are you?!”

 

“Chanyeol!” She cried out, shrugging Baekhyun’s jacket off until it fell on the pool. “Chanyeol, help me!” Mari tried to stand, only to drop back down in a heap on the floor again when her ankle seared with pain. Cursing to herself when her forearms took the brunt of the fall, she bit her lip to keep her cry in. It just hurt everywhere that she wanted to die in that moment.

 

At the sound of her voice, Chanyeol’s eyes widened for a moment before he shed off his sweater, running as careful as he could at the edge of the pool. Shivering from both the cold and the anguish that ate away at her, Mari let herself be bundled in Chanyeol’s arms, his shirt until he too was soaked. “Mari, why are you here? Why did you leave without telling me?”

 

Mari could only shake her head, unable to say anything else. She felt Chanyeol look around for a moment before he saw Baekhyun, and she felt his chest vibrate when he barked in a commanding voice, “Baekhyun! What were you doing? Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her?”

 

Although she couldn’t see him, Mari heard Baekhyun take a step back. “I didn’t mean it, sir,” he replied shakily, “S-she was going to slip and fall so I—”

 

“That’s enough!” Chanyeol cut off, heaving Mari’s shivering body up in one breath. She was fascinated by his strength, but most of all, she was desperate to just turn back. It was a mistake to even come here in the first place. Clinging to Chanyeol and seeking his warmth, her teeth clenched from the bite of the cold, eyes shut tight to try and push away the scene that was happening. She didn’t want any of this, she just wanted to go home. “You are to stay away from her, and that’s an order.”

 

If Baekhyun said something, Mari didn’t hear any more of it. All she heard was the sound of the elevator doors closing, and the faint whispering of her heart that yearned to be healed.

 

***

 

Oikawa-san, the doctor that moved to Seoul with her, took a deep breath after bandaging Mari’s ankle. He’d reassured the injury wasn’t that severe and that it was just sprained, nothing a little ice pack and compression couldn’t heal. But he’d given her a bottle of painkillers anyway just in case she felt uncomfortable, and reminded her that elevation was key.

 

Chanyeol and Yui were watching the scene with cold, grim eyes — dark circles and exhaustion lining their faces. The former looked like he resembled death with how pale his lips had gotten due to his lack of sleep over Mari’s recurring nightmares that led her to screaming every night, while Yui was shifting her weight from one foot to another, picking at her nails worriedly. It was a rare sight to witness her distant and unbothered assistant be troubled by something, but Mari’s restlessness was evident in more ways than one that everyone surrounding her couldn’t help but absorb her distress as well.

 

“Fujiwara-san,” Oikawa-san began softly, taking off his glasses with a sigh. “Have you considered perhaps talking to a therapist? You’ve not been sleeping well.”

 

“I’m fine,” she lied, although the way her fingers trembled and the fact she just wanted to be alone said otherwise. Mari grew more and more irritable each day, snapping at every little thing and testing Chanyeol’s patience, but she couldn’t help it. Sleeping wasn’t an option for her unless she wanted to be visited by the same gruesome nightmares that haunted her each night, and being awake wasn’t that great either. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

 

“I can prescribe you some sleeping pills. They might help—” He moved to grab a pen from his coat when Mari scoffed.

 

“I said I’m fine. Why are you all acting like I’m some invalid?”

 

Yui took a step forward, her back bent in a perfect, respectful bow. “We meant no offense, Fujiwara-san, it’s just that we can tell you’re not in the right state of mind. Perhaps seeing a therapist really might help. You know the fees are nothing for you to worry about.”

 

“What am I going to see a therapist for?” Mari argued, “I told you, they’re just nightmares. I was just scared, don’t make a big deal out of it.”

 

Mari knew she was contradicting each word she said, because if there was anyone who made a big deal out of it, it was no one but her. But how could she remain calm when she spent an hour in the shower — another half hour staring at the mirror, only to find that her body was littered in scars that were so light she almost didn’t see them at all? But it was there no matter how nearly invisible they seemed. It was there no matter how soft it was to the touch, and it was there no matter how much she told herself she didn’t have them at all.

 

They were nightmares and nothing but that. Just silly dreams were what her mind had produced, though the scars she had — mainly the cuts and faded marks of what she could assume once sutures had been — told a different story.

 

***

 

“Mari. Mari, wake up,” Chanyeol shook her awake gently, and he smiled warmly when she cracked an eye open. “Come on. We’re going out today.”

 

Chanyeol was much too cheerful compared to Mari’s state, and she eyed his cheerful grin suspiciously. Fighting back the sleepiness and exhaustion that beckoned her to lay for another hour, she rubbed her eyes and looked at Chanyeol tiredly. “Where are we going?”

 

“It’s a surprise, come on,”

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cinnamonhyun
2021.24.01 — we got advertised! thank you so much!💕

Are you team Baekhyun or Team Chanyeol?

And who do you think she's gonna end up with and why? I would love to hear your theories!

Comments

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Noor1684
#1
Its an amazing ff😭😭😭😭❤️❤️i love it
preciousloey61
18 streak #2
Chapter 41: Seems interesting. I've already subscribed and I'm so excited to read LIMA 🥺🥰😍🤗
preciousloey61
18 streak #3
Chapter 40: Omg.. so nari is mari and baekhyun's daughter 😭😭😭😭😭
Bt their reunion made me cry😭😭😭😭 . The last part 🤧🤧🤧😭😭😭 makes me so emotional. Bt mari ,chanyeol and their little family... 🥺🥺🥺🥺 it's like I want to know more about them 🥺🥺😖😖😖 . It was really an amazing journey. Really enjoyed reading this whole story. Loved it so much authornim. Idk bt I'm so emotional rn. I'm going to miss this story. Thank u so much authornim for writing such an amazing story. It was not an typical ending. From beginning to end it was awesome. Everything about it 👏👏😍❣🥺😖😭🤧❣❤😍🙆‍♀️🤩🥰
preciousloey61
18 streak #4
Chapter 39: The whole chapter makes me so emotional. For a sec I thought something happened to baek😔😪🥺 bt he moved on and finally happy with his family. Even though I thought mari maybe will end up with baek. Plot twist 🥺🤔 i just couldn't stop thinking about what will happen next with thumping heart. 🤧🤧
preciousloey61
18 streak #5
Chapter 38: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
preciousloey61
18 streak #6
Chapter 37: 🥺🥺😭😭😭🤧🤧💔💔💔
preciousloey61
18 streak #7
Chapter 36: Such Plot twist and finally revelation. Total psychopath. Feeling sad for yui .
preciousloey61
18 streak #8
Chapter 35: Oh no 🥺🥺😖😖💔💔😪😪
preciousloey61
18 streak #9
Chapter 34: Haru is totally a psychotic person nope worst person and the main reason for this all 😡😡😡
preciousloey61
18 streak #10
Chapter 33: Omg.. so my guess was right. It's kyo and tana Kim 😖😖😖😶😶 poor Mari 🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧😭😭😭 now what will happen 😢