(Past: Third Year at College)

"What's inside the bag? Why is it so heavy?"
"Let me carry it, Sooyeon-ah!"
"Gwenchana! I can do this."

That afternoon, I helped Taeyeon do the packing because she was going on a long two-week vacation with her family to Jeju, as well as visiting her aunt who had just given birth to her first child. Taeyeon's parents decided to take Taeyeon and Hayeon along to spend time together there, while Jiwoong Oppa certainly couldn't come because he was busy working. It feels really annoying imagining going through the next two weeks without Taeyeon. Maybe I should talk more to PurpleStar...

I don't understand, whether it's just my feelings, but I felt a slight change in myself when dealing with Taeyeon. I don't know where it started or since when, but I started to feel I was possessive enough towards her, I felt that I couldn't even pass my day not to see her, or hear her voice. Considering that the friendship we have formed has entered the seventh year, I think at that level we must've fed up with each other. But then again, it was indeed the opposite, I even wanted her to always be by my side. I understand that might be normal, wanting your best friend to stay by your side, but I feel like ... something happened, I could feel the difference.

"You really gonna spend the whole two weeks in Jeju?"
"Ne, majayo!"
"So, you're gonna leave me here alone?"
"Yahhhh! Hyoyeonie... Seohyunie... both are here staying in Seoul with you. Also, I think you spend more time with them, having fun at the club rather than being with me, and my books, and my vintage computer..."
"I'm gonna miss you. I hate it."
"Sooyeon-ah!" She chuckled. I could sense she really thought that I was overreacting. "What is this all about? All I'm gonna do just spend two weeks in Jeju and you treat me like I'm going abroad somewhere far away that you can't even see me anymore. Aigo!"

Maybe she was right, I was overreacting to her going on vacation with family. I thought hard to myself, looking for the key to the answer in my mind, wondering why was I acting weird like that? In my third year of college, I was at the stage of getting exhausted of playing dating apps, but I couldn't deny that maybe I was a player, no matter what I said, I was going to keep playing the app and going on dates at night. Lately I started to feel the true meaning of loneliness. No matter how many guys enter and leave my life, the numbers will never be enough if I'm not ended up with the one who really wants me in his life, like my friendship with Taeyeon, where we need, love and care for each other.

"Sooyeon-ah..."
"Huh?"
"What are you gonna do during holiday?"
"Molla..."
"Maybe you should ask your PurpleStar to meet you up. How is she? It's been a while."
"I'm... I'm still talking to her, but not that much. I don't think she would want to."

Taeyeon narrowed her eyebrows.
"Huh? It's been years, and she's still refusing the idea to meet up?"
"Let's just keep it that way..."
"Be a good girl at home, would you? Don't date stupid guys when I'm not around. If you cause a problem—againnn—I couldn't just be there to save you. It's not like I own the Doraemon's 'Anywhere Door'. So you'd better do good while I'm not around. Or, go find for a real boyfriend, would you?"
"Uhhhh Taeyeonie the angry little boyfriend!"
"Unless that I'm not a boy."

She wrapped up everything, finally. She was ready to go and in several minutes after, she'd go and I would not be able to see for two weeks and that was too long, since we've spent our times mostly together. One thing I hate about Taeyeon, when she's having holiday, far away from the city, she'd put her phone at home and go anywhere without it. "It feels amazing. Like I'm free." She always says that. I appreciated that, but also I really hate to be away from her.

"I wish you are! So I could date you!" I shouted bluntly.
"Yah! Jung Sooyeon! Do you think I'd want to date you if I were a guy?"
"Y-You... You wouldn't?"
"Nah..." She shook her head, so annoying.
"Why don't you want it? I mean, all the guys want to date me."
"Why would I date somebody who sleeps like a dead man, who changes her mind like changing clothes, whose head like a stone like you? Not to mention every time you scream loudly... Ugh! My ears!"

I suddenly hit her hard on the shoulder as she chuckled violently after making a really annoying argument. I frowned as I folded my arms, waiting for her to stop chuckling: I really hoped she chokes on her own laughter. Little thing she didn't know, I felt a little disappointed she said so —which I didn't quite understand why. I know it was just a joke and it wasn't that deep, but deep downside, I wished she'd say yes. Well, she said it once, if she was a guy, she'd want to date me.

"Whatever!" I pouted while throwing a pillow to her face.
"I was just kidding. Okay? Why are you like this?"
"Get your ready and leave soon!"
"You're so scary sometimes."

She stood up and carried her belongings out of the room and put them in the car. Everyone was ready to go, so I stood up to get out of the house, stood beside the car and chatted a little with Taeyeon's father who was heating his car engine. Uncle Kim has a friendly and cheerful personality, in contrast to Taeyeon, he's an extrovert who likes to talk and is also humorous. I've always loved our small talk.

Not long after, Aunt Kim and Hayeon appeared from the house and chatted a little with me. Little Hayeon said nothing but looked at me intently. Taeyeon told me that Hayeon is a huge fan of mine, that I'm her first girl crush, but she never dared to greet or even chat with me. So adorable... Aunt Kim and Hayeon got into the backseat and Taeyeon rushed to the front passenger door. I said a few word