There's always a glimmer of light that signals new beginnings.

 

The spark, though subtle and short-lived, ignited something inside Wendy's chest.

 

She felt it when her right hand unconsciously grasped Irene's wrist, and as if electricty flowed when their skin made contact, Wendy let go almost immediately.

 

"S-Sorry," she apologized after looking away from Irene's questioning gaze, "You were about to go without bringing any jacket or umbrella and I don't want you to get sick."

 

"Bogum brought his car, silly," Irene chuckled.

 

It's been a while since the semester has started. Wendy met the said girl through Seulgi since the two are both members of the university's dance club.

 

This was the first time Irene stepped in to her humble abode. Her bestfriend had been staying over for a week now and felt really at home. So the dumb bear had the nerve to invite her crush for lunch even when she's not the host.

 

"Right," Wendy nodded, even though she's confused as to how a sparkle turned into lightning by just seeing the corners of Irene's red lips lifting up.

 

How deadly it is to hope for a taste of sin.

 

A honk took Wendy out of her reverie, "So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed the food."

 

"I did. You're a great cook. Thank you for inviting me."

 

Wendy walked her out of the door, then she stood still as she watched Irene go in the car. Bogum waved a goodbye with another honk and finally, she could close the door.

 

She couldn't stand the dark skies looming over her head and the cold air embracing her body because those make Wendy feel blue.

 

And so she coughed.

 

Wendy eyed the first red petal falling right beside her feet.

 

*****

 

Wendy is trying. And she is miserably failing.

 

It's really difficult not to stare at heaven's prized masterpiece. Irene stole her eyes the first time and Wendy has never looked away.

 

Couple of months later after the fated lunch, Wendy and Irene have been closer than ever. Since then, she's a coughing mess yet she's never felt more alive than having the reason of the garden in her lungs clutching her arm.

 

"So what do you think?"

 

Wendy blinked, "H-huh?"

 

"Movies," Irene rolled her eyes, "Were you even listening to me?"

 

"What movies?"

 

"God, you're not," Irene answered her own question. "You fluffy piece of . We could've been halfway through the movie by now."

 

"Wha—I don't even know why you're here!" Wendy defended herself, "You just barged in my flat, dragged me out of my room when I should be resting, and now you're telling me I'm a piece of ?"

 

Ignoring her outburst, Irene pressed the button to start the movie and clung tighter to her, "Don't ever forget that you're fluffy."

 

"Still a ," Wendy wheezed and she cursed herself, "It doesn't make me feel any better."

 

Irene almost cracked her neck to look at Wendy, who's now furrowing her brows and pursing her lips, trying her hardest not to suddenly bathe the two of them in red roses and blood.

 

"Are you sick?" Irene placed the back of her palm on Wendy's forehead. "Is that why you're wrapped in a cocoon when I came over? Why didn't you tell me?"

 

Wendy froze as Irene's hands continued to caress her face, wiping any trace of sweat and unshed tears. She felt another wave coming and she prayed for it to stop—for Irene to stop making her feel alive yet breathless at the same time.

 

The older girl's perfectly shaped brows were in a slope. Her warm yet worried gaze were spilling unsaid words, and her slightly chapped lips pouted in silence.

 

Wendy is done trying and lets herself stare.

 

"I'm fine, Irene," she managed to form a small smile, "Don't worry about me."

 

Wendy could only wish Irene didn't notice her wince when she painfully swallowed the thorny truth and bitter bloody petals.

 

*****

 

Irene is like a fairy, full of beauty and so much light that she can make flowers grow.

 

It soon blooms into love that stays in Wendy's chest but never in Irene's.

 

She makes those flowers grow in her lungs, and although they are beautiful—Wendy can't breathe.

 

But then, Irene is a breathe of fresh air in a room full of smoke.

 

Wendy knows she should look away, turn around and walk out of the room or else she might turn blue from suffocation.

 

But knowing Irene's far from her—far from being hers, Wendy can't breathe either.

 

"You and I both know that Bogum is a jerk," Seulgi scoffed, "I don't even understand why she's with him. He doesn't deserve Irene at all."

 

"That doesn't mean I deserve her either."

 

"No," her bestfriend turned to her with pleading eyes and held her with trembling hands. Wendy could almost decipher what Seulgi wanted to say.

 

You deserve to live without having to lie and hide.

 

You deserve to love without having to die inside.

 

"You deserve a whole lot more." 

 

*****

 

Wendy dropped face flat on her bed, tired from all the wheezing she's done for the past hour. She was dead tired, feeling her strength slipping away faster than what she expected. Her phone rang and seeing the contact name made her stomach curl again.

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

i didn't know we were playing hide and seek

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

what..?

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

why are you avoiding me :(

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

i'm not..?

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

i haven't seen you since then

 

Then meaning that night a week ago.

 

It was Seulgi's birthday and they were at some bar near their street. Most of their batchmates were invited, many were already drunk. Wendy was tipsy, and Irene just wouldn't let her out of her sight.

 

"No."

 

"Irene…" Wendy sighed in frustration.

 

The girl beside her snapped, "Why do you even want to get drunk? It's your seventh glass and may I remind you that you promised to drive me home."

 

"I know," she smiled and tapped Irene's wrinkled nose, "Last shot. I won't take long."

 

It's not Wendy's fault for wanting to wash away her dream of kissing those pouting red lips and water the red roses in her lungs with alcohol.

 

She's not sure whether the disco lights were playing games with her or Irene's face was really fuming in anger, "So that can have a chance to flirt with you? I won't allow it."

 

Wendy willed herself to believe it was because of the lights. She couldn't afford to be more broken than she already is.

 

"She's the bartender, god! What do you want me to do, then?"

 

But her resolve was shaken by Irene's eyes staring directly at her own trembling ones. Wendy wanted to drown, as if she's not yet deeply in love without Irene.

 

"Stay sober," Irene stated as she got closer to Wendy, who could almost taste the margarita the former had drank, "Stay here with me."

 

And as if the heavens still wanted her to live longer, Seulgi suddenly appeared and pulled her away from Irene. Then her bestfriend proceeded to drunkenly point at the stunned older girl, "You stay away from my Wendy!"

 

Wendy hugged the intoxicated bear sideways, preventing the latter from coming closer to a confused Irene, "Seulgi!"

 

"What?!" Seulgi slurred, "She should know about it!"

 

She heard Irene voiced out her curiosity, "Know what?"

 

"Nothing! Don't mind her, it's nonsense." Wendy quickly interrupted and went in between to face her bestfriend.

 

"Seulgi, you're drunk," she reasoned out, "Let's go ho—"

 

"No!" The monolid struggled to break free, "She's about catch these hands—"

 

"Seulgi! Please!"

 

"What's the problem?"

 

"Irene, step aside—"

 

"You're the problem!" She almost got knocked down by a stupidly strong Seulgi. Wendy used all her strength to pin her down the couch. "You're killing her!"

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

i already told you it didn't mean anything

 

If only she can be someone that brave to fight for herself too. But the war has not yet begun and Wendy knows she's already lost.

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

but why do i feel otherwise

are you mad at me?

are we okay?

i miss you…

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

i'm not mad at you, i can never be

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

now you don't even say you miss me too! >:[

we're definitely not okay

wendy please talk to me

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

we are talking..?

unnie, stop overthinking

everything's fine

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

stop lying to me, i'm your bestfriend!

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

…but seulgi is…

 

Pretty Irene Unnie <3

>>;((

what am i then

 

Cutie WenWen ^3^

a bunny that needs to let a squirrel sleep

goodnight, irene unnie

 

Wendy hopes it's enough farewell for the both of them.

 

*****

 

There's always a glimmer of light that signals new beginnings.

 

Beginning of the end.

 

Wendy closed her eyes as her vision started to get hazy. She felt the spark inside her chest that was once as bright as a lightning slowly burning out.

 

She coughs, and spits, and rinse. Then repeat. Until she doesn't bother to wipe herself clean anymore.

 

Irene's lips are red, so as the petals continuously coming out of .

 

She thanked the heavens that she can almost ignore the sanguine liquid, but the stench of metallic rust and the clawing pain in reminds her of it anyway.

 

And now, Wendy is lying on the cold, hard tiles, together with her roses and undying love, turning blue and lifeless.