[Irene]

Bakit, Wendy?

 

Wendy thought she had more time.

 

She releases a deep sigh— eyes fixated on the smartphone on her desk. She tries to come up with an acceptable reason; but nothing can be considered as acceptable, not when she let Irene down because of her cowardice. Her throbbing head is in sync with the unsteady beating of her heart, drowning out the sound coming from her AC unit. This time, she fully accepts that she ed up.

 

Wendy faintly hears the knock on her door. She slowly looks up from the silhouette and barely wipes her tears away.

 

“I’m busy,” she announces quietly but her visitor is persistent.

 

“I said I’m busy.” She repeats, tone laced with impatience.

 

The other side of her bed dips, letting her know that the person who entered her room won’t be going out anytime soon. She was about to snap when she saw sympathy in her mother’s eyes.

 

Sympathy? Wendy thinks to herself. My mother never showed any emotion.

 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Her mother sends a gentle yet wary smile her way.

 

Wendy scoffs, “Yeah, I definitely knew that.”

 

Her mother frowns at her sarcasm. “Aren’t you happy to finish your father’s task? He is elated with what you did.” 

 

There’s a heavy feeling settling on the pit of Wendy’s stomach. One that screams she can never measure up to Irene’s kindness. It’s the same feeling when you’ve been running around for hours, the burning feeling starts to consume you but you can’t stop. She never deserved Irene’s kindness because she will always be a Lustre. A traitor and a good for nothing capitalist.

 

“I’m—“ Wendy begins, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose, “I’m tired, Ma.”

 

For the first time in her life, impressing her parents became the last of her priorities. She’s tired—exhausted from slowly losing herself only to get a disapproving look from her father. Her mother gives up on trying to get her daughter to open up and turns to the slightly open door. For a brief second, Wendy wants to call out for her again and hug her tightly like she did when Wendy was young. But that version of Wendy is long gone. Years and years of training under her father’s care taught her how to be emotionless, heartless even, and it only broke the hearts of those who mean the world to her. She’s thinking of her best friend, Seulgi Kang, but somehow, another familiar face comes into mind. Her mother’s voice interrupts her thoughts.

 

“Tired of what, anak?” Her mother asks gently. Wendy is not made of glass. She will not shatter even if her mother uses the same tone she’s been using on Wendy for years.

 

“Tired of it all.” She answers, lips quivering again.

 

Her mother scoots closer, hand hovering over her shoulder as if she’s contemplating whether she should touch her daughter or leave her be. She decides the latter would be a wise choice so she follows it.

 

“I told you I will listen, Seungwan.” 

 

Wendy sighs—even when she should be celebrating since everything went according to plan, her mind still drifts off to the fierce activist she met not too long ago. It’s always going to be Irene Reymundo.

 

“Ma?” She squeaks out, a sign of vulnerability showing through the crack of her voice. “Ma, I’m tired of this.”

 

She doesn’t know what happened yesterday but her mother seemed to be possessed by some motherly spirit. Wendy doesn’t know how to react when her mother pulls her in for a hug. But she couldn’t stop her tears from falling either. She succumbs into her mother’s arms instead. Wendy needed this.

 

“I’m s—so tired of ev—everything Ma.” She sobs harder to her mother’s shoulder. The soothing rubs on her back keeps her grounded.

 

You know what they say about mothers feeling their child’s pain but the pain is doubled—tripled even for some. It is heart-wrenching for a parent to witness their child emotionally breaking while they hold onto their mother for support.

 

Wendy wonders if her mother hurts when she’s hurt. Does it also kill her mother to see Wendy in this state? Crossing the line between emotional devastation and brokenness. Wendy curiously asks the universe if her mother ever feels her pain, and if she did, why hasn’t she done anything to stop it? That’s what being a parent is, right? 

 

Is this moment that they’re sharing is caused by a genuine development between them,, or just another facade to manipulate her even more?

 

She did not dwell on it too much. She has had enough disappointments for today to go through another.

 

After what felt like an eternity of crying, she finally shrugs out of her mother’s hold. “I think I’m going to sleep.”

 

“Are you sure? I can prepare your favorite warm milk. I can ask Yaya Delia to heat some fresh milk.” 

 

Wendy put her walls back up. “No, I just need to sleep.”

 

Her mother smiles defeatedly, “Okay then. Sleep well, dear.” She says dejectedly before exiting her daughter’s room.

 

She’s lucky if she can even take a nap for 5 minutes. Wendy knows sleep won’t be visiting her tonight.

 

[Seul 🐻🐯]:

Tangina Wendy, ano yun?!

All this time, I let you get close to Irene and the org kasi akala ko magbabago ka!

But no, all you’re good at is hurting the people who want to help you.

Stay away from Irene Reymundo.

I mean it, Lustre. Babasagin ko mukha mo pag sinaktan mo si Irene.

 

Wendy wraps her arms around herself as another batch of tears fall down her face. “I deserve that.” She mutters through her gritted teeth and quivering lips.

 

Her chest tightens even more after reading her bestfriend’s text for the nth time. All she’s good at is hurting people. Even Seulgi knew that. Why didn’t she try harder to convince her father to leave the land alone? Wendy should have tried harder. She shouldn’t have given up so easily. All those residents are about to lose their home and she knows her father well enough to figure out that his plans of giving them a better house is just a facade. Wendy knew this but she still remained mum about it. What sets her apart from the long line of Lustres taking what isn’t rightfully theirs? The evil businessmen who monopolize everything they can get their hands on.

 

If only she can press a reset button.

 

---

 

Mukhang walking zombie si Irene.

 

Wala sa wisyong binabagtas ni Irene ang hallway ng building nila. Kagabi pa siya isip nang isip. Sa kagustuhang ma-klaro ang kaniyang utak, nag jogging siya nang alas tres ng umaga sa oval. Pagkabalik sa dorm ay hindi na siya makatulog. Kaya ayan, walking dead siya ngayon.

 

At least effective, wala na siyang iniisip na isang bansot na kapitalistang traydor.

 

Pero dahil sa kablangkohan ng isip niya, huli na nang makita niya ang paparating na babaeng nakatingin sa sariling cellphone sa harap niya.

 

Na-realize lang niya nang tumili ang nakabanggang babae.

 

“AAAAAAAA-- Irene?”

 

Habang tumitili ang babae sa pagkakabunggo ay inayos ni Irene ang mga papel niyang nahulog sa sahig. Napatingin ito sa taas nang marinig ang pangalan.

 

“Ay Byul! Ikaw pala! Sorry!”

 

Nanlaki ang mata ni Byul. Mukha siyang hamster, isip ni Irene. Parang si--

 

“AY! Ako dapat masorry ano ba! Teka tulungan na kita dyan.” Yumuko si Byul para kunin ang iba pang papel ni Irene at para maiayos din ang mga ito. Nang makalipas ang ilang segundo ay naibalik na nilang dalawa sa binder ni Irene ang mga papel.

 

“Hala pasensya ka na, lutang lang ako ngayon.” Ika ni Irene kay Byul habang tinitiyak na nakasiksik nang maigi ang mga nalukot na papel sa kaniyang binder.

 

“Ano ba, okay lang nga, ako ‘tong nagcecellphone sa daan eh. May inaayos lang kasi kami sa Bahaghari, kaya active ang gc tapos di ko namalayan yung daanan.” Ngiti ni Byul na para bang nahihiya.

 

“Oo na, quits na tayo.” Tawa ni Irene.

 

Napakamot ng batok si Byul at bahagyang inayos ang cap niya sa ulo. “Ang aga mo ata? May class ka na?”

 

“Ah, wala pa,” tanggi ni Irene. “Di lang kasi ako makatulog kaya dumiretso na ako. Maya pang 9, actually.”

 

“Ah…” Tango ni Byul. “Tara isaw?”

 

Sino ba naman si Irene para tumanggi sa isaw, di ba?

 

---

 

“So bakit hindi ka makatulog? Nag-iingay na naman ba si Wheein sa dorm?” Pabirong sabi ni Byul bago kagatin ang huling isaw sa pangalawang stick niya ng… well, isaw.

 

Tumawa nang mahina si Irene (oo, mahina, yes nakakagulat, kasi kulang siya sa tulog). “Hindi, may iniisip lang kagabi.”

 

Tinapon na ni Byul ang stick sa basurahan at kinuha ang maliit na wallet mula sa bulsa. Akala ni Irene ay bibili pa ito ng isaw nang maglabas ang kasama ng 50 centavo coin.

 

Nagtaka si Irene kung bakit inaabot ni Byul ang barya sa kaniya. Tinaasan lang niya ito ng kilay.

 

“Penny for your thoughts. Di ba ang 1 penny is equivalent to 50 cents natin?”

 

Hindi na napigilan ni Irene ang tawa. Sa unang beses ngayong araw, ay natawa siya nang malakas. Ano nga uli ang course ni Byul? Econ ba?

 

“Alam mo, ang corny mo na witty rin. Magkaibigan nga kayo ni Wheein.”

 

“...sana tayo ridhsfjhf…” bulong ni Byul na hindi naintindihan ni Irene.

 

“Ano yun?”

 

“Wala, sabi ko upo tayo don tapos kwento mo anong nangyari.”

 

---

 

This is stupid.

 

She’s stupid.

 

But she’s even more stupid if she did not, at least, try to explain her side to the iska girl. She deserves to let Irene know that this is not what she wants. Well, it was at first but ultimately, she grew tired of her father’s schemes.

 

She is stupid. Stupid enough to show up in front of Irene’s campus with nothing but these stupid hydrangeas she picked up on the way to UP. She could’ve bought proper artisan flowers from the florist in their subdivision, but subconsciously she thinks that Irene may appreciate handpicked ones. Or not.

 

She did a lot of thinking. Literally. Blame the heavy traffic. It was bad, as per usual, but she endured it. What is traffic compared to Irene’s misery—the masses’ misery? She mumbled to herself earlier while looking for a parking spot.

 

Wendy was right on time. She caught a glimpse of the black haired activist on her way out of the campus. Her heart strickens from seeing Irene’s tired eyes with dark circles under them. Despite the minor change, Wendy still finds her as captivating as ever.

 

So, she’s been having trouble sleeping too, huh? Wendy thinks to herself. Of course she’s having a hard time, . You broke her trust, took away the rights that she’s been advocating for since forever, and those will definitely drain the hell out of someone. Wendy must have gone insane from all these bottled up thoughts that she started answering herself.

 

She probably shouldn’t have done the next step she took but she did it anyway. “Irene!”

 

Bad move of calling her out because not only did she see Irene’s fuming face, she also grabbed the attention of other passersby. In hindsight, she did not expect to see a lot of UP students at a dead hour. Their classes must be hell to start at 1 in the afternoon.

 

“Irene!” She tries to call her again but the iska flipped her off in response. Okay, she deserves that and many more.

 

Wendy finally walks up to Irene, mentally and physically preparing herself for the string of curses and series of slaps she’ll receive from the older girl. Once again, she deserves it and many more.

 

“Tantanan mo ako, Lustre.” Irene looks like she’s seconds away from slapping Wendy’s soul out of her body had it not been for the students and other vendors preventing her from causing a scene. 

 

What is “tantanan” again? Oh crap, she can’t remember her Filipino. Oh wait she wants me to leave her alone right? Welp, too late for that.

 

“I’m sorry.” Wendy shakes her head and apologizes quietly. Her pride is on the floor, her dignity is thrown out the window. Everything is laid bare for Irene to see.

 

Irene narrows her eyes at her. Not feeling any sympathy towards the heiress. “I bet you are.”

 

“Don’t I at least get a chance to explain myself?” She pleads. Lustres never plead, they take pride in knowing what they are worth and pleading makes them look weak. Something her father drilled in her mind when she was 5. Irene is a different story. Wendy is willing to bend both good and bad to her will if it gives her Irene’s forgiveness.

 

“Excuse me?” Irene spits and her voice grew higher at the last syllable, “Ang kapal ng mukha mo para pumunta dito at i-violate ang privacy ko tapos nanghihingi ka ng chance to explain yourself?! Para saan pa, Lustre? Nakuha mo na rin naman yung gusto mo. Tapos na rin yung MK na kailangan kong gawin para sa deal natin kasi clearly, wala naman pala kong chance manalo laban sayo.”

 

Wendy winces at Irene’s choice of words. Her heart breaks again. She looks down on the ground, suddenly feeling ashamed for showing up without notice and doesn’t say another word.

 

“I knew you were a Lustre and I know how Lustres are with their mind games and manipulative ways but you know what’s disappointing?” Irene shifts her weight from one foot to another and angles her head to get a better look at the heiress, “You made me believe you’re different from the rest.”

 

Silence. Wendy clenches her fist to stop her tears from falling. She is in no position to cry, not when she brought this upon herself. And she’s tired from crying the whole night. She already got an earful from three of her professors today for being so out of focus and her student council meeting did not go as she would like because everyone messed up. 

 

“Irene, tara uwi!” Another feminine voice startles Irene and snaps Wendy out of her thoughts.

 

When the unexpected visitor stared at her face, she realized who Wendy was and made a fist. “Tangina! Anong ginagawa mo dito?! Babangasan ko to Irene tignan mo!” 

 

Irene grips the girl’s arm with all her power. “Wheein, umayos ka nga!”

 

It’s a scene to behold, really. Three small women confronting one another is kind of cute, if you’re just a passerby who happened to glance at their way.

 

Wheein, grumbles and curses her name under her breath. She must be dumb to think Wendy won’t hear it. Her whisper is not the quietest whisper, she should work on that.

 

“Uuwi na kami. Please lang, Lustre, umuwi ka nalang kasi wala kang mapapala sakin.” Irene tells her fiercely. Wheein teasingly hums in agreement.

 

Wendy wraps a hand around Irene’s wrist. Shouldn’t have done that either because Irene harshly pulled her hand away from Wendy’s grasp like she suffered from a third degree burn.

 

“A chance to explain, Irene, one lang please.”

 

“Wag na, tanggap ko na rin.” Irene lets out a dry laugh, “Bulag ka sa katotohanan, Wendy. Kahit anong tulong pa ibigay ko, you’re hopeless.”

 

Irene’s words sting. She sees the two retreating figures. The stupid bouquet of hydrangeas on the floor remains forgotten as Wendy walks back to her parked car. 

 

You’re hopeless.

 

Wendy should have tried harder. Now she lost her one shot at happiness.

 

[Wendy the Conyo 🐿🦅]:

Seul, I ed up but trust me when I say I tried to do something about this.

Please hear me out.

I can’t lose you.

I need my bestfriend more than anything now.

 

---

 

In the duration of 2 weeks, Wendy has never found herself so annoying. Her day went from attending school then going home to attending school, finishing student council meetings, then going straight to UP despite the rush hour traffic. The sight of her waiting in front of the UP campus is enough reason for Irene’s friend—Wheein—to give her face a harsh high five. That’s the first threat she received from her the last time she talked to Irene.

 

For the fifth time this week, she walks up to a gloomy Irene with an iced coffee. She’s not sure why she bought it in the first place, peace offering? She doesn’t know what has gotten into her to go through great lengths just to get Irene Reymundo to forgive her. 

 

“Reymundo.” Her voice comes out hoarse.

 

She hasn’t been this nervous since her father gave her the Sitio San Roque project. Wendy can still recognize the uneasy feeling bubbling inside her stomach, but this time, the feeling is amplified by tenfold. The pain of seeing Irene in this state knowing she has something to do with it opens a wound that may never even heal.

 

Wendy’s heart stills when Irene turns around to face her. She resists the urge to reach out to the iska, to touch her Irene, to feel if she is truly okay. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Irene takes a step back. Wendy sees anger and weariness in her eyes. 

 

Her heart tells her to kneel in front of Irene with a lot of audience around them but her brain screams what it’s been shouting for ever since she heard her father’s proud tone, to leave Irene alone and continue the path that is destined for her. It is only a matter of time until her father declares her as the new CEO of their corporation but is it what Wendy truly wants?

 

“I—“ Wendy closes her eyes briefly, “I have no idea.”

 

Irene scoffs, unimpressed with her answer. “Bumiyahe ka galing pa ng Katipunan para inisin ako? Para ipagyabang yung nakuha niyong lupa?”

 

“Piss you off?” Wendy says in confusion. “N-no! I’m here to give you this!” Then she hands Irene a cold cup of coffee.

 

“Hindi ko kailangan ng kape. Baka ikaw, para kabahan ka naman bago ka magpakita sakin.” Irene says dryly, ready to go inside the jeepney. Wendy prevents it from happening as she holds a firm grip on Irene’s wrist.

 

“Please, Reymundo.” Wendy whimpers. “I didn’t—I’m not the bad guy.” She whispers like she’s convincing herself more than Irene. 

 

She almost believes it.

 

But Irene harshly pulls her hand away from Wendy and takes two steps back to put a wide distance between them. Wendy aches from seeing the gap between them. 

 

Was there always a huge gap between us?  Wendy thinks to herself.

 

“You’re not the bad guy?” Irene chuckles dryly, “Eh bakit hinayaan mong ituloy ng tatay mo yung plano niya?”

 

Wendy doesn’t say anything. What else could she say when it’s the truth. She did not try harder to convince her father to leave Sitio San Roque alone. She knows, deep inside, that she’s at fault too for letting this happen. Wendy wants Irene to lash out on her, curse her name like she’s Satan, or be physical with her. But she never prepared herself for the look Irene gave her after she said those words.

 

It was a look of pure heartbreak.

 

“I’m done, Lustre. Please don’t show yourself here anymore because it only reminds me of Sitio San Roque.” Irene says in a pleading tone. Wendy never felt more heartbroken witnessing that. “You can say whatever you want but at the end of the day, sinira mo yung tiwala ko, yung tiwala namin. You became someone who we advocate against and I don’t want to see you anymore.”

 

Wendy watches Irene walk away from her. She faintly hears the honking of the cars on the main road as her gaze stays on Irene’s slowly disappearing figure. 

 

Irene did not look back. Not even once.

 

Irene doesn’t want to see her anymore. Wendy feels her heart ache more than ever. The memory of Irene pleading for Wendy to leave her alone is enough to kill her every single day.

 

---

 

Wendy doesn’t know if Irene blocked her, or if Irene simply can’t find the time to do so. She gave Irene space for 2 weeks but she can’t let it go further than that. What Wendy knows is that Irene is definitely ignoring her messages that she sends 2 times a day, 5 days a week.

 

Sample message:

[Wendy]

Hi.

 

Aren’t Ateneans supposed to be smart? Well, she definitely doesn’t feel like it, considering her dumbness level seems to be rising for every text message that she sends.

 

She can just move on, take the pat on the shoulder from her father, and continue living her best life. But of course, she can’t. And that’s how she ended up in this situation.

 

Her thoughts are interrupted when Seulgi takes the seat in front of her. Her best friend is coming around now. Wendy already explained and shared everything, from her original plan of breaking Irene (of which she seems to be successful in, even if it’s now unintentional), to her obnoxious plan of giving the activists a taste of their own medicine, and lastly, to her remorse over the whole situation with her father, and of course, Irene.

 

Seulgi was apathetic at first, then angry, which is understandable. She is still trying to understand Wendy, since she remembered what her girlfriend, Joy, said to her when they first met. That she only needed a friend to help her understand things.

 

“You know what popped my bubble of privilege?”

 

“What?”

 

“My friend’s persistence.”

 

And here she goes, giving Wendy another chance. She’s wary, still, because she got betrayed a few times now, but there’s something telling her that this time, Wendy understands.

 

“Musta?” Seulgi begins. Wendy only looks at her apologetically, and for Seulgi, it’s enough. She knows that her friend has been having a hard time. Because for the first time, Wendy Lustre cried over the phone, 2 weeks earlier.

 

Seulgi can only nod in understanding. Wendy had her shortcomings, but she’s still human. She’s been through a lot of pressure her entire life. Something that she’s lucky to have never experienced. And now, her best friend is like a delicate piece of glass, breaking under extreme pressure, with cracks on the surface.

 

“Okay naman si Irene. If that’s what you want to know.” Seulgi takes a sip of her iced latte after talking. Wendy only nods.

 

“I want to know how you’re doing, too.” Wendy replies after a few seconds of silence.

 

“Oh, same old. Got betrayed by my best friend, got over it. Rinse and repeat.” Seulgi said nonchalantly. Her tone doesn’t have a trace of venom in it, but Wendy felt like she was bitten by the sting of the implication.

 

Seulgi doesn’t budge. She meant every word. Perhaps she’s still not over it, and she has every right to feel that way, Wendy thinks.

 

“I’m really sorry, Seul.” Wendy looks Seulgi into her eyes. Seulgi nods; she feels Wendy’s sincerity, and the dark circles under her best friend’s eyes helped in convincing her a bit.

 

“I know. I forgive you for what you did to me,” Seulgi gently says, “but it will take a while for me to trust you again.”

Wendy gives a tight lipped smile, and utters a faint “yes”.

 

“You have to make things right, Wannie. You have to. And I know you have good in you. I know, because I see the real Wendy now.”

 

“But I’m scared, Seul. The only thing I can do right now is beg for forgiveness from Irene. I don’t know what’s my next step.”

 

Seulgi pauses for a while, then speaks up.

 

“You have me. We’ll think of something. I mean, 1 and a half head is better than 1, di ba?”

 

Wendy gives out a soft laugh. She missed her best friend. 

 

“I’m assuming I’m the 1 whole head?” Wendy teases.

 

“Of course not.” Seulgi smirks while sipping her coffee.

 

“!” Wendy playfully shoves Seulgi after she sips her coffee. Everything felt light with her best friend again.
 

---

 

Sitting inside a four-walled room with a professor blabbering about what economics can do in society is not Wendy’s preferred way to spend her day. She should listen to her professor seeing as they will be having an exam about this particular lesson next week, that is what’s written on the whiteboard. But how can she focus when her mind keeps drifting off to a black-haired fierce woman who’s been disrupting her peaceful life ever since they met? 

 

You’re hopeless

 

The two-word phrase is what pops up in her brain every time she thinks of Irene Reymundo. The defeated look doesn’t suit her. Wendy knows her as this girl who never backs down on anything. Yet, this aching feeling on her chest reminds her of the person she became just to get her father’s approval.

 

God knows how much she wants to rush out of her class and go straight to Irene’s university even if the girl denied her every right to visit her. It’s like this for Wendy now. Constant longing  ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶  to make ammends, carrying the guilt on her shoulders like it’s her newest backpack, and staring outside her classroom window as time passes her by.

 

Feelings have always been confusing for Wendy. She doesn’t want to admit it but Irene Reymundo’s unceasing presence in her mind feels foreign for the heiress. 

 

Maybe something shifted.

 

Or maybe it’s her wrongdoing.

 

She takes a deep breath at the same time the bell rings, signalling the end of her class.

 

This is going to be a long day and the thought of not seeing Irene is enough for her to begrudgingly make her way to her next class with a long face.

 

---

 

Thankfully, she manages to survive all of her classes for today. She’s now sitting in their org room, waiting for their weekly huddle to end. 

 

Well, it is ending, or so she thinks.

 

She hears someone suggest that they drink after the meeting is over. Many protested against the idea, since tomorrow they’ll have an important meeting with a partner organization. And so, the council agrees to go out when they are all free.

 

At least Wendy has something to look forward to now.

 

---

 

Palabas na ng kanilang room si Irene nang may makita siyang pamilyar na mukha sa may pintuan. Walang iba kung hindi si Byul, ang kaibigan ni Wheein na kaniya namang roommate. Tinanguan ni Irene si Byul habang nakangiti bilang pagbati sa kaniyang ka-batch.

 

Nang makalabas na si Irene sa pinto ay takang sinundan siya ni Byul.

 

“Oh? Ako ba hinihintay mo?” Kunot-noong tanong ni Irene.

 

“Ah, di ba obvious?” Pabirong tugon ni Byul. Tinaasan lang ito ng kilay ni Irene. 

 

“Aba, bakit mo ko inaabangan? May utang ba si Wheein sa ‘yo tapos hindi mo na mahagilap? Umuwi ‘yon sa kanila, wala siyang pasok ngayon eh tapos weekend pa bukas.”

 

Tumawa si Byul sa kuda ni Irene. “Hindiii, grabe naman ‘to, di ako pinagsalita. Ayain lang sana kitang kumain ulit ng isaw. May bago raw na menu doon sa kinainan natin.”

 

Siyempre, kapag usapang isaw, ay mapupukaw talaga ang atensyon ni Irene. “Anong bago?”

 

“Bagong dish daw. Isaw Burger.” Seryosong sagot ni Byul.

 

Napaisip si Irene. Isaw? Burger? Ha?

 

Naramdaman naman ni Byul ang pagkalito ni Irene, “Oo, Isaw Burger. Kaya nga ikaw niyaya ko kasi alam kong mahilig ka rin sa isaw.” Pahayag nito habang dumudukot ng barya sa maliit na pitaka, para maghanda na sa pagbabayad sa isaw.

 

“Okay, fine, you had me at isaw. Lead the way!” Masiglang sabi ni Irene. 

 

Sa unang pagkakataon ngayong linggo, ay parang nawala ang imahe ng isang babae sa kaniyang utak, at napalitan ito ng isaw.

 

---

 

Nakarating na sila sa isawan. At totoo nga, may bagong menu sa suki nila-- ang Isaw Burger.

 

“Ano, g?” Tanong ni Byul. Ngumisi naman si Irene at tumango bilang sagot.

 

Makalipas ang ilang minuto, ay nakuha na nila ang Isaw Burger. Medyo mahaba ang pila kasi mukhang hyped pa ito for now. Mukha namang matino ang pagkain. Kakagat na sana si Irene nang tawagin siya ni Byul.

 

“Irene, ito oh, special sauce daw nila para dito.” Alok ni Byul sa kaniya. Nagpasalamat naman siya rito.

 

Okay lang rin ang lasa, na kaniyang ikinagulat. Kasi naman, Isaw at Burger? Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala. Ano bang iniisip ni Manang Gela? Well, at least it worked out naman, isip ni Irene.

 

“Uy, tutal andito na rin tayo,” simula ni Byul, “may mini gathering ang Bahaghari sa katapusan, invite na rin kita, and if pwede ka magsama ng mga lek mo. Mixer na rin, kumbaga. May mga pupunta rin na galing Panday, kasama si Wheein.”

 

Napaisip si Irene. Tapos na rin naman mga exams niya by then, so why not? Parang need niya rin magdestress sa dami ng nangyari nitong mga nakaraang linggo. 

 

Hindi naman talaga ma-party na tao si Irene, kung tutuusin. Mas gusto pa niyang katulugan ang mga readings na binabasa kaysa lumabas ng dorm. Wala eh, doon siya komportable.

 

Pero it won’t hurt to go out, once in a while.

 

“Sige, g.” Simpleng tugon ni Irene.

 

---

 

One last try.

 

After a long call with Seulgi last night, trying to think of ways to save San Roque, she ends up in front of Irene’s usual path. Again.

 

It’s been a month since they last saw each other-- since their confrontation, and yet here she is, still begging for forgiveness from the Iska.

 

She’s sitting on a nearby bench, with store-bought flowers now in hand. Maybe these flowers will turn her luck around.

 

I can’t believe I’m putting my fate on these flowers.

 

Wendy shakes her head and was about to look up at the sky when her vision caught something, er, or someone.

She adjusts her cap to get a better view. 

 

Gotcha, it’s Irene.

 

Straightening her hoodie while clutching the flowers on the other hand, she makes a beeline towards the woman. This time, she’ll approach calmly instead of shouting Irene’s name like a maniac.

 

She halts when a taller woman approaches Irene faster than she could. 

 

Who is that? 

 

They seem familiar with each other, judging at how close they are. The taller woman looks like she’s offering to help Irene with her stuff, to which the latter accepts.

 

Wendy doesn’t know what has gotten into her. She simply returns to the bench she was sitting on earlier. She observes from afar, as she watches the two women enter a car. Her eyes follow the black sedan, until it vanishes from her view.

 

Wendy stands up, this time, making a beeline towards the trash can besides the bench. She discards the flowers she bought without any hesitation. 

 

Wendy jumps at the vibration of her phone in her pocket right after trashing the flowers. She retrieves it to check who’s calling. It’s Jennie.

 

She answers the phone, almost in a robotic way.

 

“Hello,” Wendy greets.

 

“Pres! Where are you? I’m here with the SC, we’re all waiting for you!”

 

Wendy can hear the loud music in the background. Oh, right. The council decided it was a good night to party since exams are almost over. In a monotone voice, she answers:

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

 

---

 

“I don’t remember agreeing to down all these tequila shots in one go.” Wendy tells her student council members and their plus ones.

 

“Of course you didn’t,” Jennie says as she approaches their table with a new batch of tequila shots, “but you’re still doing it anyway.”

 

Wendy stands up to sober up outside but the flashing lights inside Space Superclub made it difficult for her to adjust her eyes. Her legs were wobbly to support her body. She ended up falling into someone’s arms, not just someone but Jennie Ko’s.

 

“You alright there?” Jennie asks her smugly, “Parang you’re already drunk after 4 shots ah.”

 

Since everyone’s eyes are on the two, Wendy quickly shrugged herself off of Jennie’s arms. To her dismay, the people around them were cheering them on. Some even went as far as using the word ship for them, whatever that means. Wendy can see a smile ghosting on Jennie’s lips. She also sees Lucas from Psychology arguing on who looks better with Wendy—Jennie or that girl from the Theatre club, Minzy was her name or something close to it—with his girlfriend. How they started the argument, Wendy will never know.

 

“Are we going to talk about anything tonight or?” Wendy asks the group of people with her.

 

“Or.” Jennie responds with a smirk on her face.

 

“Loosen up, Pres. This is minsan lang so make the most of it!” Lia, SG’s secretary, cackles as she watches Wendy eyeing the shots lined up for her to drink.

 

She figures in order to get them off her back, she must down the three remaining tequila shots. So that’s exactly what Wendy did. She’ll blame her stupidity tonight when she wakes up tomorrow but for now, she lets loose.

 

Wendy wonders how her father will react if he ever sees her in this state. Perhaps, this is her first time doing something that is very “Un-Lustre” like.

 

And she doesn’t give a anymore.

 

Not after she drowns her thoughts in alcohol.

 

“Wanna go back to my place after this?” Jennie mumbles in her left ear.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You’d be too drunk to drive and I am the most sober one here.” Jennie shrugs, “You can crash at my place if you want.”

 

Wendy may be naive when it comes to love and relationships but she has an idea when someone is asking to hook up with her. Jennie’s question is the exact definition of hooking up.

 

“I think I’ll–“ She clears while looking around the place, “call my driver later.”

 

Still looking around the place to go to without feeling suffocated, her eyes met with another. Judging from the fiery gaze she received, the other girl is not delighted to see her in the same place.

 

“Irene Reymundo.” She mutters to herself with disbelief.

 

---

 

“Gago tagay!” 

 

Malakas na sigaw ni Wheein to no one at all. Tinaasan lang ni Irene ng kilay ang kaibigan at muling humarap kay Byul.

 

“Nako, mukhang mag-aalaga ka ng lasing mamaya,” natatawang sabi ni Byul sa kaniya. Inirapan ni Irene nang pabiro ang kausap. 

 

First time ni Irene makapunta sa club na ‘to. Di naman talaga siya mahilig mag-party, pero okay lang naman kapag naaya siya, tulad ngayon. Nasa “mixer” sila ngayon, at invited lahat ng mga miyembro ng iba’t ibang NDMO chapters na nasa UP. 

 

Kung tutuusin nga, mas gusto pa ata ng mga magulang niya na maging party girl siya kaysa maging aktibista.

 

Nailing na lang siya sa naisip.

 

“Sanay na ako, at least pagkagising niyan bukas, may libre akong Mcdo pag nag-aya yang magbreakfast.”

 

“Ang swerte naman ni Wheein, may Irene na mag-aalaga sa kaniya.”

 

Napatingin lang si Irene kay Byul at tinawanan ito. Mukhang nagbibiro ang mas matangkad na babae, kaya binalewala na lang niya ang narinig. Muli siyang uminom mula sa baso na may lamang alak para lang may magawa. Nilibot niya ang paningin sa paligid. Maraming tao, as usual, pero karamihan dito ay mga kasamahan nila sa org o ibang NDMOs.

 

Muntik nang manlaki ang mata ni Irene nang makita ang isang pamilyar ngunit nakakainis na babaeng nakatayo sa kabilang side ng bar na tila titig na titig sa kaniya.

 

Tangina naman, Lustre.

 

“Uy, san punta mo?”

 

Tila nanlamig si Irene kahit na mainit ang alak na ininom niya kanina. Walang kibo siyang tumayo at tumungo sa comfort room. 

 

Tangina talaga.

 

---

 

Is it creepy to say her eyes were fixated on the girl standing at the opposite side of the room? If so, she’s the creepiest person on the planet. She tries to divert her gaze away from Irene but she finds it hard to do so. She sees Irene walking away from her friends and towards the restroom.

 

“Excuse me for a while.” Wendy announces to no one. Everyone is too drunk to respond aside from Jennie who’s busying herself with her phone.

 

Wendy stands up but contemplates whether or not to follow the girl inside the restroom. This could either end up with Wendy having a sore cheek or—no, Wendy will go home with a reddening cheek and it will not come from blushing. Worst case scenario, Irene is waiting for her to go inside the restroom and murders her there.

 

Just as she expected, Irene was standing with her hands on her hips. Yes, she is waiting for Wendy. A blush creeps up on her face. She feels giddy to know that Irene knows Wendy enough to expect that the heiress will follow her inside the bathroom.

 

“Irene.” She says.

 

“Are you stalking me?” Irene points an accusing finger at Wendy. “Kanina ko pa nakikita yang mga tingin mo, Lustre. Di nakakatuwa.”

 

Irene turns to look at the mirror, barely throwing Wendy a glance. The silence suffocates the heiress more than when she was with her drunk friends. Now or never, Wends she thinks to herself.

 

“I’m not stalking you but I really need to talk to you.” She closes her eyes, “I did everything I could, Irene.” Her voice was barely heard due to the muffled club song playing outside.

 

Irene lets out a humourless laugh. “No, you didn’t–“ she mutters, “cause if you did edi sana hindi homeless ngayon yung mga taong nakatira sa Sitio.”

 

“My father is a scary man. I tried to interfere with his decision but he simply raised his voice at me and I am already back in his mercy.”

 

“Alam ko na yun, Lustre.” Irene frustratingly brushes her hair away from her hair, “Nakakatakot si Mr. Lustre, oo aware kami dun, pero tumigil ba kami sa pakikibaka laban sa mga mali niyang gawain?”

 

“No.” Wendy simply says.

 

“Wala silang kasalanan, Lustre. Yung mga taong nakatira dun? Wala silang kasalanan.” Irene begins, knuckle gripping the edge of the sink, “Gusto nila ng matitirhan, lugar kung saan walang kapahamakan, pero anong ginawa ninyo? Tinanggalan niyo sila ng karapatang makuha yun. Kaya pasensya ka na kung hindi mo ko madadaan sa simpleng sorry lang.”

 

“I understand, sorry won’t cut what my father and I did.” Wendy agrees, “But I was hoping sorry is a start to make up for my mistake.”

 

“And then what? After I accept your sorry, anong mangyayari? Magpapalayas nanaman kayo ng mga taong nasa lupang gusto niyo pagtayuan ng building?”

 

“No! I—“ Wendy steps forward hastily, suddenly fearing what Irene is trying to point out. She’s not the bad guy in this story. “I will do better. I will help those people get job opportunities so they can afford a better life.”

 

“Job opportunities?” Irene scoffs, “Hindi mo ba napapansin yung nangyayari sa paligid? Wendy, I used to be like them. I had to work hard para lang makapasok sa UP pero alam mo ano narealize ko? Hindi enough ang sipag at tiyaga para umangat ka sa buhay.” She looks up sharply at the heiress, “Wala akong swerte, hindi katulad mo na mismong mga opportunities pa kumakatok sa pinto ninyong mga mayayaman, nagmamakaawa na tanggapin niyo yung offers nila. Samantalang kaming mga mararalita, kami yung nagmamakaawang mabigyan ng chance.”

 

“I don’t know what to say.” Wendy tells Irene, tears b in her eyes.

 

Usually, Wendy is calm. Usually, Wendy will not bow down her head in shame. But with what happened these past few months, is very out of the ordinary for Wendy, so much to the point that she’s so frustrated at everything, that all she wants to do is cry and be held.

 

“Then don’t say anything. Just think about this,” Irene’s expression is unreadable that sends shivers down to Wendy’s entire being. “Nung pinalayas mo yung mga tao sa Sitio San Roque parang pinakain mo na rin sila sa mga demonyong nakaupo sa Malacañang.”

 

Silence.

 

Irene takes that as a cue to go home, she feels too tired to party. There’s nothing to celebrate anyway, not when she failed her mission in changing the heiress’ mind about their family business.

 

Wendy sees Irene approaching the door. She blames the alcohol for her next action. She grips the girl’s wrist and spins her around. They stare at each other, drinking the presence of one another. Her heart is doing somersaults by staring at Irene’s eyes alone.

 

“Let go.” Irene’s voice was strained.

 

But she did not let go. She can’t let go.

 

“Lustre, bitawan mo ko.” This time, the activist’s voice became a little bit scarier than before.

 

“No, I won’t let you go.”

 

“Wendy, sinabing bitawan mo ako!”

 

Irene’s shout snaps Wendy out of her haze, prompting her to carefully let go of Irene’s wrist. She bows her head in shame, and perhaps, out of guilt.

 

“Puta naman, Wendy Lustre. Kahit ako di mo bibigyan ng karapatang pantao? Aalis na ako— don’t you dare follow me—”

 

“ing hell, Reymundo.” Wendy mutters in a low voice.

 

That’s it. That was the last straw.

 

Wendy levels her gaze with Irene’s, and the latter can see the tears flowing down from her eyes to her reddened cheeks. Wendy's frustrated and tired, after all. All she wanted— wants, is to explain her side and be heard out. To make amends. To make things right.

 

Wendy wipes the tears from her eyes and clenches her jaw. She takes a deep breath before speaking.

 

“Can’t you just give me another chance? Another ing chance to explain my side? Do you think me trying to reach out to you is just a hobby I do in my spare time? If you know us capitalists, then you would know that my time is precious. And I only spend it wisely!” Wendy fumes. She can see how dumbstruck Irene is, judging by how the Iska has hanging ajar. 

 

So she continues.

 

“Am I an entirely heartless, rigid, evil scum? Do you seriously think that? Is it an evil act to save a stranger like you from a ing police, risking myself of being exposed in a ing rally back then? Is it evil to try to give you flowers as a first sign of trying to express my intentions? To text you at least once a day to know that I ing care?!”

 

“Is it a ING EVIL thing to like you?!” 

 

Wendy shouts, all in one breath.

 

She can see how confused Irene is right now. And frankly, she is too.

 

After a second or so of dead air while looking at each other with contorted expressions, Irene manages to speak.

 

“Teka, anong you saved me—”

 

Another beat.

 

“Teka, anong  you like me—?!”

 

“—, I like you.”

 

The two said in unison.