VI 

lonely eyes

It's the middle of August, and the young writer is being followed by deadlines and changes that are weighing her down. Things gradually began to return to normal after Lisa dragged JiSoo out of her apartment. JiSoo is grateful, but her life has returned to being stressful. She needs to settle her disagreements with her editor, publisher, and the people who are eagerly anticipating the release of her next book. People began to read her previous works after her third novel became a best-seller. She's already established a reputation for herself in the literary world. Being known is both a blessing and a curse. People either demand the same concept or a different theme in her forthcoming stories, and JiSoo becomes frustrated when she is torn between two options. 

JiSoo has been writing in her diary since she was a kid, detailing her childhood days. She continued to keep diaries in high school, but she also began composing poems and became a member of her school's publication. So she opted to major in creative writing in college, and after being accepted into Seoul University, one of South Korea's finest universities, she spent no time in pouring herself into writing. She began writing her first book while still in university. JiSoo received multiple offers from publishing companies after graduating with honors. She considers herself both lucky and privileged to this day.

Her life was entirely turned around when her third novel, "Playing With Fire," became one of the best-selling novels of 2018. Her efforts had finally paid off. Gaining success, on the other hand, came with new responsibilities, expectations, and standards that she must meet and fulfill in the future. JiSoo's creative freedom in writing has been curtailed now that the future has arrived, and she is forced to compromise.

Writing, according to JiSoo, should stem from personal experience as well as that of others. These encounters elicit sentiments, thoughts, or ideas, which are then written down to be read and told. JiSoo's life experiences inspire her to develop stories that transcend space and time.

It's been a month since she suffered a heartbreak. JiSoo has been without the person she had loved for the past seven years for a month. As a result, she distanced herself from the rest of the world and channeled her pain into pages and chapters. 

Writing is a form of art in which you can express yourself through words which are transformed into pages and chapters that tell stories. And writing is JiSoo's preferred mode of expression. It's her way out. Her safe haven. It's the place she returns to at the end of the day. On a cold night, it's a blanket. Now that blanket has been stripped from her, she is left to shiver and freeze. 

“At this point, I no longer give a whether they will publish the book or not,” JiSoo says, throwing the remote on the table.

“JiSoo, calm down,” Lisa takes a seat beside her. “I know the book means a lot to you, and they're only asking if you can change the direction of the plot because it hasn't been completed yet.”

“Asking? They were not asking, Lisa! They’re ordering me around!” JiSoo exclaims. “If they want to change it, then they should write their own story instead!”

“This is how I want to tell my story. I won’t change it just because they think it won’t sell out like my previous work,” JiSoo adds. “I don’t care if it won’t become a best-selling novel. I’ve reached the top of the mountain and I can say the view is beautiful from up here, but it is not worth dying for. Perhaps, it is time for me to come down and face the world below if it means I could tell my story the way I want it to be told.”

Lisa inhales deeply and runs her hand over her golden locks. She casts a glance at her best friend, who appears to be torn between conflict and determination. She understands JiSoo's viewpoint. After all, it is her story, not anyone else's, to tell. But this isn't just a tale to be recounted.It’s JiSoo’s job as well. Lisa's, too, since she is her manager. She works for her best friend, but that doesn’t mean her work won’t be jeopardized.

“I understand, JiSoo. I honestly do,” Lisa stands up. “But this is our job, too.”

JiSoo's living room is deafeningly silent. JiSoo remains sat on the couch while Lisa grabs her belongings. 

“I…” Lisa trails off, eyes shifting on the ceiling. “I’ll try talking to them again tomorrow. Maybe they’ll change their mind and compromise.”

“Or call me when you change your mind,” Lisa adds, before walking towards the door.  

JiSoo doesn't say anything, and she doesn't even look at the door, where Lisa is standing and waiting for her to say something. After a minute of silence, Lisa sighs dejectedly. “Take some rest, JiSoo.”

Lisa closes the door behind her, leaving JiSoo to her own devices. 

≈

JiSoo is adamant about not taking a break. It's an understatement to say she's bothered. Lisa made a valid point. Their job is also on the line.

By the time she chooses to leave the luxury of her own apartment, it's almost midnight. She goes to JiYong's coffee shop, which is open 24 hours a day. She must weigh her options in order to fight the impulse to sleep. Coffee will undoubtedly keep her awake and motivated. 

She is greeted by the coolness of the summer night the instant she steps outside. As she begins walking, she pulls her cardigan closer to her. Under her cardigan, is an oversized shirt paired with gray sweats and her favorite old pair of Chucks. She brings her Macbook and a notebook. 

The smell of coffee and pastries greets her as she enters her current favorite place. There are a few folks seated in different spots. She is glad she made the decision to come here. It gives her a sense of comfort, despite the fact that she is becoming increasingly drowsy. 

“Hello, welcome to JiYong’s! What can I get for you?” JiSoo glances at the girl’s nameplate. YooA. JiSoo smiles at her and tells her order. A cup of Americano and a plate of cinnamon bread.

JiSoo takes another peek around the area while waiting for her order. Her gaze is drawn to the same corner where she remembers seeing the raven-haired woman sitting. JiSoo is puzzled as to why the stranger has been on her mind. She hasn't seen her in days, yet she never seems to leave her mind, and she has no idea why or what draws her to the stranger. 

“Umm, Miss?” YooA calls. “M