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i will follow you into the dark

“Thank you, JiSoo,” Jennie mutters. It is almost midnight, but both Jennie and JiSoo still don’t want to go home. The stars are out and shining brightly. Both women wish for the night to stay young.

“For what?” JiSoo asks, smiling from ear to ear.

“For spending time with me,” Jennie replies. “We’ve only hang out for a few times yet it feels like we’ve known each other since forever.”

“I could say the same thing,” JiSoo says. “It’s been a while since I made a friend. I’m grateful as well.”

Jennie laughs. “Look at us being sappy and all.”

“We are really getting old, aren’t we?” JiSoo giggles. “But seriously… I like spending time with you, Jen.”

Suddenly realizing what she has just said, JiSoo grows shy. Her heart start to race. Her cheeks are flushed. Her hands start to get wet.

Jennie stays silent for a moment. JiSoo takes a glance at her, worrying that she went overboard. She is about to say something when Jennie decides to speak up.

Jennie stops walking to look at JiSoo’s flushed face. “You do?”

JiSoo becomes even more nervous now that they have stopped walking and are now face to face. “Hmm, maybe I don’t?”

The raven haired girl laughs, playfully punching JiSoo’s left arm. JiSoo rolls her eyes as she feels her nervousness wearing off. “Well, how about you?”

“Of course, I like spending time with you,” Jennie beams. “You make me laugh a lot! You’re really funny, you know?”

JiSoo grows shy again. “I knew it. You think I’m a clown.”

“Well, aren’t you too pretty to be a clown?”

“Ya! Are they not allowed to be too pretty?”

“Have you seen a pretty clown?”

“I have! Clowns aren’t all Pennywise-looking, you know! They could be pretty, too.”

“Alright, alright,” Jennie sighs in defeat. “I guess clowns can be pretty since I’m talking to one right now.”

JiSoo’s eyes grow wide as if Jennie has just offended her. “Wow… I’ll take that as a compliment?”

Jennie just shakes her head at JiSoo’s antics. She unconsciously wraps her hand around JiSoo’s left arm as they walk.

They walk in silence and somehow the world starts making sense.

≈

It’s the D-Day. Jennie is already losing her mind and it’s only three in the morning. She could not sleep thinking of the upcoming job interview that she has been anticipating all week. She’s been rehearsing her answers to possible questions. She’s a bit of a perfectionist, but she won’t admit that to anyone let alone to herself. So when she stutters on a few words, she would repeat it all again from the start. She’s so close to banging her head on the wall. Her mind dwells on so many what-ifs. She’s tired of her thoughts. Her body’s about to shut down, but she pushes and pressures herself on the cliffside, hoping she will remain in balance.

Her interview’s at 9:30A.M. yet nothing could make her rest. Nothing could ever calm her down. Not even her family and friends’ good luck texts and calls.

By the time rolls around at 6 in the morning, she’s already glammed up in her best office attire. Fortunately, she’s good at make up. Jennie stares at her reflection in the mirror, proud of herself for covering up the look of fatigue on her face. If I fail this interview, at least I’ll fail with style. Jennie lets out a laugh. God, I’m going crazy.

≈

“Jesus, Lisa, are you for real? It’s goddamn 6 in the morning and you’re already coming at my throat,” JiSoo groans, eyes barely opening. “You’re louder than my alarm clock.”

“Kim JiSoo, I’ve been worried sick about you not answering my calls. Your editor told me you did not submit anything. Your draft was due three days ago! You were given two weeks to get your together for pete’s sake! You said you’re doing fine and told me not to worry about it because you got it. You told me to keep you alone so I wouldn’t disturb the process! And this happens. Tell me, JiSoo, do you want us to live on the streets?”

JiSoo’s jolts up. Now, she’s wide awake. “Oh, . I forgot, Lis. My bad really…”

She hears Lisa let out a heavy and shaky sigh. She could imagine how frustrated her best friend looks right now. The other line goes in silence for a few seconds. JiSoo hears Lisa taking a very deep breath. “My bad? My ing bad? JiSoo, I swear to ing God- are you ing with me? Does this amuse you? Does losing your job seem funny to you?”

“That’s a lot of ing, Lis…” JiSoo retorts. She hears Lisa scream. JiSoo swears her left eardrum could have rupture if she didn’t put her phone away.

“YA!!!!!! KIM JISOO!!!!! You’re making me crazy here. Seriously. you.”

“That’s not nice, Lisa. I’m your employer.”

“And you’re a ty employer.”

“I know and I am sorry. Seriously, it slipped my mind.”

“Slipped your mind?” Lisa lets out a laugh as if she’s about to lose the last peace left in her head. “Your draft was due three days ago. But they gave you a deadliest deadline and that was last night. Yet you didn’t send anything. Not a word was heard from you. JiSoo, I understand you’re going through things… this moving-on you’re going through. But how many times does your world need to stop for it? How many worlds need to wait for you to go on? You can’t do this to yourself. You can’t do this to me. And to others who are working for your book.”

She bites her lip, not knowing what to say to Lisa. Lisa has every right to yell at her. To slap some sense to her. It was a lie. The deadline did not slip her mind. In fact, she was also well-aware of the deadliest deadline. But she did not have the courage and the energy to say that she had no motiv