Warning; this might not be funny. And too much talk in here.

Yongguk tightens his grip around Haerin’s little hand, looking like a typical dad bringing his precious little princess to the theme park, if not for the mass of Earthlings screaming his name out and shoving random pieces of little paper under his nose before security took them away and the fans learnt to keep the two alone.

“Appa! Balloons!”

Yongguk’s eyes followed the direction that the little girl was pointing at, at a clown wearing a rainbow wig holding several balloons of assorted colours. Bang Yongguk slowly strides over the the clown, asking for a balloon, Haerin grabbing his leg for comfort as she stared up fearfully at the clown who tried passing her a red bunny balloon. Yongguk flashes the clown a smirk as he took the balloon and transferred it into Haerin’s waiting hands.

—

“Oh look, there they are!”

Youngjae points at the couple, accidentally poking Daehyun’s face as all four of them turned around to face their leader gently handing a balloon to the little girl.

“Omo, hyung grew up!”

Jongup starts clapping by his own, a very awkward smile on his face before he realized that the rest of them weren’t going to join in soon anytime. The claps died down as Jongup’s smile faded a little and he pulled at his hair in a slight bit of embarrassment.

Yongguk looks over, and after spotting the other four guys gawking at him, immediately picks Haerin up and travels to them at lighting speed. Or was it lightning speed. Yongguk runs over to Daehyun and without waiting for a response from the other guy, plops Haerin promptly into Daehyun’s arms.

“I will never take care of this kind of baby again.”

“Aww, admit it hyung, you had fun.”

“Fun?” Yongguk half-fumed, but the other members could tell it was almost fake. “How was that considered fun when she was ripping apart my dolls?”

“Hyung-ah, Haerinnie’s learning from you!”

“SHUT UP! *toot*!”

“Anyway!” Youngjae suddenly interrupts the fiery fight between Daehyun and Yongguk, sticking his arm right in the middle of their faces as Yongguk slapped it away impatiently. “Let’s finish the last mission before Himchan hyung comes!”

Yongguk’s face went blank after reading the mission card. “Why do we have to do this for Himchan?”

“YOU DON’T REMEMBER?”

Jongup stares at Yongguk like he was the stupidest person on Earth (generally Earthlings are already very dumb so you can see how badly Jongup is thinking of Yongguk right now). Yongguk stares right back, with the minor exception that one corner of his lips twitched upward into an impending smirk as he tried to glare at the younger boy, whose small eyes were popping out of his reddening face.

No wonder he could win that staring competition.

“Holy ,” Zelo intones as he pushes Jongup away. “Hyung doesn’t remember? Even Zelo remembers. Zelo who forgets everything after a system upgrade.”

“Where did you learn those vulgarities from? is not holy, and will never be!”

“Daehyun hyung said holy was a dead with wings, a halo and a floating cloud underneath. You see hyung, it’s completely pure and innocent! is real, and therefore when it dies, it becomes holy!” Zelo replies cheerfully to a shocked Yongguk, who was very sure he had never programmed Zelo to answer these kinds of questions. In fact, ‘’ wasn’t even part of Zelo’s starting dictionary! No matter how real is, Yongguk had never wanted Zelo to lose his innocence to …Unless…

“Daehyun hyung gave me a new system upgrade! I have a dictionary and encyclopedia in me now!” Zelo bursts out cheerfully.

There was an awkward silence as the current two oldest in BAP right now glared at each other. And Zelo, standing in the middle, didn’t feel toasted at all. Instead, he started grinning like a maniac and grabbing Yongguk by the shoulders, shaking him, started to yell,

“WE’RE ALL GOING TO DROWN IN REAL IN 2012! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END OF A TSUNAMI!”

—

The producer and editor of this show has decided after discussing with the rest of the crew of Hello Baby, that the word ‘’ will be largely censored throughout this episode. Thank you for your understanding. Also, after much investigation, we have found out that the culprit who reprogrammed Zelo was no other than the One And Only Jung Daehyun.

-

Zelo cam

“Hyung,”

“Hmm?” Yongguk looks up at the innocent-looking Zelo, but his face got magnified ten times by the camera’s zoom effect. Zelo snickers as he plays around with the zoom, giving viewers a positive headache as he zoomed right into Yongguk’s scalp.

“Have you ever wondered how real shi—*toot* tastes like?”

-

Daehyun cam

“I SAY CHOCO YOU SAY ICE CREAM! CHOCO!”

Youngjae’s over enthusiastic shouts were responded by a chilly silence as a ‘mini-earthquake’ happened in the camera when Daehyun shifted hands. “Youngjae-ah, let’s go finish the mission now. Where is the cake shop?”

“I SAY VANILLA YOU SAY ICE CREAM! VANILLA!”

More silence followed, by which Daehyun decided to abandon Youngjae and start looking for the cake shop by himself. There was sounds of some shuffling footsteps and the camera jerked a little by what people could guess that Youngjae just slapped Daehyun’s shoulder. “Daehyun, did you hear that new song by EXO-K?”

Daehyun grimaced. This could only mean one thing. “Youngjae, no, don’t—”

“CARELESS CARELESS, SHOOT ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS, HEARTLESS, MINDLESS, NO ONE WHO CARE ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

“CAN YOU SHUT UP? ARE YOU POSSESSED BY HIMCHAN HYUNG’S GHOST?”

-

Jongup cam

“No! Himchan hyung, behave yourself!”

Well, this couldn’t even be considered ‘Jongup cam’ at all. The camera was set on a low wooden table, resulting that both Jongup and Himchan’s heads were cut off from the screen. And from the angle it was set, it looked terribly wrong. Jongup was trying to restrain Himchan on a chair and it wasn’t looking pretty.

“Let me go you… you… you JONGDOWN.” Himchan spits out the word like a horrible insult, except it made no effect on the younger boy.

“I CAN’T! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO STAY HERE!”

“I CAN STAY HERE PERFECTLY BY MYSELF IF YOU WEREN’T TRYING TO SUFFOCATE ME.”

The shouting match died down as Himchan roughly pushed Jongup off the chair, straightening his shirt. “How can you do this to a birthday boy?” Himchan said as he grabbed the camera and checked his hair.

The maknae picks himself up and quickly wraps Himchan into an overly tight hug. “You can’t escape this place hyung, or I’ll get killed by either Yongguk or Zelo and that won’t be pretty.”

And suddenly, someone latched herself onto Himchan’s leg. “No leaving,” Haerin mutters and Jongup nods in agreement.

Himchan winced.

“Can you guys please let me go?” The said birthday boy whines as he tries to wriggle out of the two strong grips.

“NO.”

-

Zelo cam

“Stop playing with the balloons!” Yongguk shouts at Zelo as he randomly throws some streamers into one cart of a roller coaster. Neither of them had any idea how the production crew did it, but they managed to book an entire roller coaster.

“I’m not playing with them!” Zelo insists as he sends another balloon down to some screaming fans. “I’m doing fanservice!”

The fans screamed back in reply.

“Why did I even make you? You’re such a brat nowadays.” Yongguk mutters while he ties a banner saying ‘Happy birthday Kim Himchan’ to the cart.

“Because,” Zelo bites his lower lip, which was trembling. “H-hyung made me because you were f-forever alone and you wanted a f-friend.”

Oh .

Yongguk turns around stiffly, not daring to look at Zelo.

What the hell did Daehyun do to that kid?

Yongguk almost regrets teaching Daehyun how to programme robots when he turned to face a very sad-looking Zelo. A single tear slides down Zelo’s porcelain cheek as the robot looked genuinely sad.

Last time I remembered, I never taught him how to cry.

“Hyung, I’m leaking, what’s happening to me?” Zelo sniffles as he wipes away one tear.

Yongguk didn’t know how to reply that kid.

“HYUNG!” Zelo squeaks, “I’M STILL LEAKING. AM I GOING TO DIE?”

Yongguk felt his heart melting as he continued to stare at the crying robot. “I’m sorry, you brat. Now stop crying.”

Zelo stares at him blankly for a moment and Yongguk was panicking as he thought the excess water must have spoilt his systems.

“Hyung…”

Zelo maintained on a poker face.

“YOU GOT TROLLED! HAHAHAHA! DAEHYUN HYUNG PROGRAMMED ME TO ACT TOO! HAHAHA!”

-

Daehyun cam

“Hmm, Haerin likes strawberry cakes. Let’s get a strawberry one.” Daehyun murmurs as he zooms in to the price tag and grimaces. Earthian prices were always so high.

“No Dae, you have to get a cake that’s good at smashing people’s faces.” Youngjae insists. “And one that’s cheap and full of cream.”

Youngjae points to a creamy, plain cake as Daehyun pulls it out, balancing cake on one hand and camera on the other.

“Hmm,” Daehyun smirks a little as he studies the cake. “We’ll need to have someone to test the ‘smashiness’ of this cake.”

Youngjae turns around just as Daehyun releases an overly evil smirk and smashes the cake into his spluttering face.

-

Jongup cam

“THE CAKE’S READY!” Daehyun shouts gleefully into Jongup’s ear when the maknae picks up the phone. Jongup quickly turns, checking if Himchan heard anything, but luckily, the birthday boy was fiddling around with the little girl. Then Jongup’s phone started vibrating again and the maknae almost dropped the camera as he struggled to pick up the call.

“Roller coaster is readyyyyyyyy!”

Jongup shuts his phone and then starts pulling the ‘birthday boy’ off the couch. “Time to go hyung~ it’s ready!”

—

Himchan gapes at the surprise waiting for him.

In front of him, was a roller coaster cart decorated with balloons, streamers, and a huge banner with ‘Happy birthday Kim Himchan!’ hanging at the side. Jongup wastes no time in pushing the older boy to the cart, straps him in and smiles an evil smile that Himchan couldn’t decipher.

“Happy birthday hyung!” Jongup half screams as he grabs Haerin and starts running down.

Before he knew it, the roller coaster had started running and fans were delightfully video-ing Himchan’s unstoppable screams.

—

“HE’S COMING! WHERE’S THE CAKE!”

There was a nervous scuffle as Youngjae stripped the cake of its box and handed it to Daehyun.

Himchan giddily wobbles out of the gate to be greeted with a cake smashed into his face. Blobs of cake dripped down Himchan’s face as he blinked.

“Make a wish!” Youngjae added on awkwardly as he presents another cake, this time, a decorated one, with one single candle stashed in the middle. “We couldn’t get 2944 candles because the stupid Earthling insisted that there was no one that old on Earth.”

Himchan’s expression was unreadable behind the layer of cake.

Honestly, he didn’t know what to do. It’s been ages since a birthday party was held for him. Himchan thinks, and takes a deep breath.

“I want Daehyun’s hair to be green.”

 

---

 

 

Author'snoteC:

YAY! HAPPY REALLY LATE BIRTHDAY TO OUR BELOVED KIM HIMCHAN . WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . This update was so random >3< I swear I couldn't actually think properly, since exams are like, three weeks away T____________T And that I got paper cuts three times on the same finger while reading the Hunger Games so now I'm literally typing on one hand . GOSH . Le is also running out of creative juices T_T

 

teaser; next update's king is gonna be d-d-d-d-d-d-daeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehyun! :D