Yerim’s eyes had glazed over. She was trembling. 

“Haseul and Yeojin,” she said. “I don’t see their paths.” Tears filled her eyes. 

“Where’d they go?” Hyejoo asked. Her voice was getting strained. Fear was surging through her. “Yerim, where are they?” 

“Wait!” Yerim let out a long breath. “They’re back.” Her brow furrowed. The hope in her eyes flickered, before vanishing. 

“Yerim, we can’t see what you can,” Hyunjin said. 

“Haseul’s still going,” she said. “She’s still going to Alluin. I don’t see when she’s coming back.” 

Hyunjin froze. 

“What the hell is she thinking?” Hyejoo kicked a tree. She took out a large chunk from its side. 

The wood returned to the trunk and fused with it immediately. Yerim's doing. It was almost a reflex now. 

“He’s going to kill her.” Hyejoo‘s fear and anger was gathering around her. “He’ll torture her first.”

“Why’d she go?” Yerim was still looking into the future. “Why would he let the others go?” 

“Others?” Hyunjin repeated. 

“Vivi and Yeojin're also there.” 

“He won’t let them go,” Hyejoo snapped. “Haseul’s going to him. She probably thinks she has a chance of doing something, but she doesn’t.” 

“Could you find him?” Hyunjin asked. 

She nodded. 

“Then we’re going there,” Hyunjin said. “We have to.” 

Then Yerim made a strangled sound somewhere between a cry and a gasp. 

“Jungeun’s going,” she whispered. “I don’t—”

“We’ll be with her,” Hyejoo said. “Don’t worry.” Her brow furrowed then, looking around. “Who’s coming now? Is it Jinsoul?”

Yerim’s face fell at the mention. If Haseul was in danger, Jungeun would go after her. Hyunjin didn’t even know how she knew, but that didn’t matter. No. What mattered was that Jungeun would go and so would they. They’d all be at risk. Some of them had been at their mercy before too. 

And what was supposed to happen now? What would Jinsoul do if she knew Jungeun was going away, putting herself at risk again? 

Hyunjin had only heard the screams. She’d seen the look in Jinsoul’s eyes afterwards. It’d mostly faded now that Jungeun was alright, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still haunt her. 

“It’s not Jinsoul.” Yerim turned in the direction. “They want to stop us.”

Immediately, Hyejoo’s entire stance tightened. There wasn’t any fear there. Only anger. 

“Do we run or meet them?” Hyejoo asked. “Will they delay us?” 

“They’d still catch up,” Hyunjin said. “Do you want to make it a chase?” She had a sneaking suspicion of why. It made her heart heavy. 

“You mean do I want to make it worse?” The darkness had started to flow around her a little bit more. Then it eased away. That was Hyejoo’s answer. 

Yerim had closed her eyes. She was still looking. All Hyunjin saw was her continued worry and dread. It didn’t ease. 

They’d go. Of course they would, but could they even do it alone? 

Except Jungeun was coming. They needed her there.

And would Hyejoo be able to fight them if it came to it?

Hyunjin looked back to her, only to see that same worry in her eyes. If it was for Haseul, she’d be able to. Hyunjin would too. What happened after didn't matter. 

They all turned when the Astra came. Three of them with already drawn weapons of light. 

“You’re going to his side,” Kolina said, tightening her grip on the blade. “I can see it.”

“We’re not.” Hyunjin lifted her hands. “Haseul needs us.” She wondered if looking Priad’s way would help. 

He looked more confused than he did angry, but he hadn’t absorbed his sword back. They all thought they’d turn. 

“I don’t see her coming back,” Kolina hissed. “What if—”

“You think she’d turn.” Hyejoo’s voice was quiet. "You think Haseul would betray you?" 

The hairs on Hyunjin’s neck stood up when she saw the way the shadows sharpened yet again. 

“She never said why she was going,” Teveril said. “And now she’s gone with Yeojin and the half—” 

“Don’t finish that,” Hyunjin warned. 

“Or what?” He scowled at her. 

She didn’t want to answer that. They should’ve never been in this situation. 

“You can’t be trusted,” Teveril was looking between them, watching out for movement, “you’re surrounded by what’s most dangerous to us.” 

“A blade to your neck can be just as dangerous,” Hyejoo replied. Her eyes held nothing that would say if the threat was empty or not. 

“And what happens when that threat becomes action?” Kolina asked. “The only one whose path I can read is hers.” She looked to Hyunjin. 

“Kolina, please,” Yerim began, “we’re not turning on anyone. Haseul needs our help. She was trying to find out more about Alluin. Didn’t you see how hers and Yeojin’s got weaker? They’re all in danger right now. We could go after them and stop it.” 

Kolina’s eyes filled with confusion, then fear, followed by anger. “You have the sight?” A pause. “You’re lying.” 

Yerim blinked. “What?” 

Kolina’s knuckles were white where she gripped her blade. “It’s impossible.” It sounded more like she was saying it to herself than them. 

“You’re going to come back to the camp,” Priad said then. His voice was the calmest of the three, but he was still frightened of them. “Eline will devide if you’re telling the truth.” 

Light appeared in the air. It formed bands that curled in their direction. 

Hyunjin had seen them before, wrapped around a neck. 

“You’ll—”

The shadows leapt into the air, shattering the light immediately. 

They all gasped. Kolina stumbled back, while Teveril raised his sword. Priad’s eyes had shot to Hyejoo. 

Then Teveril gasped. He looked down at his feet. The other two did the same. 

“Listen to what we’re telling you,” Hyejoo said slowly. “I know what they’re capable of.” Her eyes were filled with rage. “If you stop us or delay us any more, Haseul will be dead before anyone else can reach her. Vivi and Yeojin might be as well.” 

“Let us go.” Priad’s voice shook. 

Hyunjin looked to see what the darkness held. There was anger there too. 

“You want to see me bound again,” Hyejoo replied. There was too much hate in her eyes. Hyunjin hadn’t seen that before. She’d known it was there, but it’d never reached her eyes. 

She looked to Yerim, only to see an expression that was surprisingly cold. Hyunjin could feel some of the hurt in Yerim, but she was hiding all of it now. 

“Tell her to let us go,” Kolina said. Her eyes were on Hyunjin. “Tell her.” 

Hyunjin frowned. 

“Let—” Teveril started. Hyunjin felt the light of the weapons start to move in the next moment. All three of them. 

Hyunjin lifted her hand and ripped all three blades away. She drove them into the ground and pulled the shadows over them. It almost sounded like glass breaking when the darkness engulfed it. It was easy. 

She felt cold. They would’ve used those against them. To kill them? To bind them? 

“You can’t do this,” Priad said. “If you’re innocent, you’re only making yourselves look guilty.”

“And if I let you go,” Hyejoo’s lip curled, “you’ll use the rest of your light against us, won’t you?” 

“We—”

“Don’t lie,” Hyejoo chided. Her hand rose. 

Their eyes widened and they all stiffened. 

“Did you think it’d be that simple?” Hyejoo was watching them. Hyunjin didn’t know that look either. With the hate, there was a different feeling to the air. It made her stomach twist. “Did you ever think about what I can do?” Her arm went to the side. 

All three elves fell to the ground. 

“Hyejoo,” Hyunjin started. They couldn’t do this. Not now. 

Her eyes lifted to Hyunjin’s. They softened, but only for a moment. She wasn’t going to stop. 

Hyunjin wasn’t sure if she wanted to stop her either.

Teveril began to glow. He leapt to his feet in the next moment, lunging for Hyejoo. 

Then Hyejoo’s arm drew back. Hyunjin watched her fist ram into his face. His nose broke in the next moment. 

He stumbled back, a sharp cry leaving him. 

A branch curled around him then, wrenching him back down. The trees were suddenly curling into the space around them. All of them were at the call of one person. 

Hyunjin didn’t even let herself look Yerim’s way. None of this was supposed to happen. Haseul shouldn’t have gone anywhere. She shouldn’t have put her life at risk. 

The other three shouldn’t have thought they were traitors. They shouldn’t have come after them. 

And they shouldn't have needed to fight back. 

“Did you ever wonder what it felt like?” Hyejoo asked. Her hand clenched into a fist. "Trapped by a magic that hurt you? One you couldn't fight?"

Priad cried out when they were all forced to their knees. Kolina swayed, eyes dim as more darkness collected under them. 

“If you don’t stop now,” Priad forced out. “This’ll never be forgiven. None of it.”

Some of the hatred in Hyejoo’s eyes cleared then. She looked to Hyunjin, then Yerim. 

“They’re not a part of this,” Hyejoo said. 

“We are,” Yerim said. “They’d have attacked all three of us.” There was the first flicker of something in the ice of her eyes. Disappointment. She wasn't surprised. 

“We let you stay.” Kolina had grit her teeth. She looked more frightened than she did angry now. “We let you come back.”

“You’re forgetting why,” Hyejoo replied. Her voice wasn't as harsh, but the anger hadn’t left her eyes. If anything, it’d strengthened. “You had wounds only we could heal. If Alluin does attack the camp, you’d need us to take what he gives you.” Her hand opened then. 

Teveril curled in on himself then, flinching away from whatever the shadows were giving him. His eyes flit between them, frantic. Blood was still streaming down his face. Kolina and Priad both flinched, shaking. 

“That’s what he’d give you,” Hyejoo said. “Except it’d slowly take over your body. It’d destroy your light and then go to your heart.” She knelt down in front of him. “That same thing will happen to Haseul if we don’t go. We need to be there to stop that from happening.” 

“And what happens when you realise that’ll be the only place you can go?” Priad asked. “You’ll never have a place here.”

“I never did,” Hyejoo spat. “But if you try to do what you did then, I’ll destroy all of the light you use against me.” She lifted her hand again. 

Kolina let out a strangled shriek. The shadows began to crawl up their bodies. They closed around their necks and tied around their wrists and ankles. Then the darkness in the air became tangible. It formed three separate cages around them, close enough that any movement would let the darkness touch their skin. Hyunjin had seen that exact sight with the light. 

Except this time there were no burns and no blood appeared beneath the restraints. 

“Do you remember how easy it was?” Hyejoo’s hand traced the edge of Teveril’s cage. She shook it. “I think you’re lucky that this doesn’t burn you.” She held up both her wrists then. An illusion fell away, revealing the ragged skin left by the light. The same was on her neck. The scars hadn't faded. 

Hyunjin didn’t move from where she was. Neither did Yerim. 

Teveril had his eyes closed. His breath came in short gasps. He flinched when his skin touched the bars. With the blood covering his front, it was almost eerie how much it looked like that day. 

“Do you know how easy it’d be to call a spirit here?” Hyejoo was in front of Kolina now.

Yerim didn’t look shocked. That meant Hyejoo wouldn’t call upon them. 

Hyunjin wasn’t even sure if she’d stop her if she wanted to. 

She still remembered how Hyejoo had screamed, how she’d sobbed, surrounded by her people. None of them had protected her. 

“It’d only take a thought.” 

The darkness around Kolina’s neck rose up . She whimpered. 

Hyejoo’s lip curled. Hyunjin saw the satisfaction, but it didn’t last. There was only more hate. Disgust too. 

Now Hyejoo walked away. Hyunjin and Yerim followed. She didn’t listen to what they were shouting behind them. 

“I’ll let them go,” Hyejoo whispered. Her voice was still hard, but the look in her eyes swam with a collection of emotions. One of them was guilt. “But only once we’re far away enough.” 

They all started running. In her mind, she saw the people she didn’t want to leave. What would they tell the camp? Would Heejin believe it? She already knew the answer to that, but what about the rest? And once they heard it, would they ever let them come back?

Did Hyunjin even want to?

_____

Jiwoo’s eyes kept sinking into the future. Her face contorted with confusion, then dread, then even more confusion. 

It made Yves nervous. She felt useless too. Was she supposed to just wait here? 

And then Jiwoo looked at her. “You’re not going—”

“They ran!” A shout carried through the camp. “They’re joining him—Alluin.” Teveril’s voice sounded strained.  

Yves got to her feet immediately. She saw him going to the elder tent. 

She sprinted over, knowing Jiwoo was following. Once she was within reach, she yanked him back by the arm, throwing him to the ground. He cried out. His face was covered in blood, with much of it still dripping from his nose. 

“Did you know?” Kolina’s voice sounded almost shrill. “Did you see what their paths were? You just let them go?” Her eyes were on Jiwoo. 

“They’re not turning on anyone,” Yves hissed. “So take those words out of your mouth.” 

“You didn’t see what happened,” Teveril retorted, now on his feet. “She had us held in the darkness. I could feel how much—” He broke off. “How much hate there was.” 

Yves knew it was there, but for good reason. 

People had heard the commotion. They were watching them. Yuol and Eline were there too. Nuala wasn’t. Without Jinsoul there, she’d be working on the rest alone. 

“You think it’s a coincidence?” Kolina asked. Her voice trembled. “Werewolves mad with rage attack us and vampires are sent in with blades of darkness?”

“That’s Alluin,” Jiwoo retorted. “Hyejoo’s hate would only ever drive her to leave. It’d never turn her against us.”

Teveril opened his mouth. 

“Do you actually think she’d join an attack?” Yves asked. Her eyes narrowed. “This entire time, she’s been here, she healed the wounds we couldn’t heal before. She’s taught Yerim and Hyunjin to use the darkness not just to fight, but to heal as well.” 

“And now all three are gone.” 

“Because Haseul is gone.” She tried to keep her voice level. The rest already thought she was getting closer to weakness. They were starting to think she was weak. Maybe they were right. “You think she’d turn as well?”

The look on their faces made her feel angrier. 

“How could you even think that?” Jiwoo’s hands were shaking now. “Did you ever even look to what she’s been doing?” She went forward, looking straight at Kolina. “She’s been trying to find ways how we can survive this and you think she’s working against us?” She’d never been this angry. 

Finally, there was something else in Kolina’s gaze. It almost looked like shame. Then it was replaced by something close to desperation. 

“But the other one—Yerim, she has the sight,” Kolina said. “She’s hidden that from us as well. What if she’s been using—”

Yves watched as Jiwoo struck her across the face. It wasn’t too hard, but the sound still rang through the silence of the camp. 

Kolina stared at her, eyes wide. 

“Yerim only had the sight for a few decades. I hid my sight for centuries.” Jiwoo’s eyes narrowed. “So does that make me a traitor?” 

“No.” Kolina was very quiet, but the anger hadn’t come. Maybe it would later. 

“If we follow and they know we’re coming, they’ll see this as an act of war,” Priad said. “And if he’s taken Haseul, we won’t be able to get to her. We’re not prepared.”

Yves fought the urge to throttle him. 

“But they can’t go alone.” Yves looked around them. People were watching them. It almost made her feel sick. Priad was voicing what everyone else was thinking. That paranoia wasn’t unique to them either. She’d felt that same thing too. 

There wasn’t a trace of it now. 

When she looked back to the three, something twisted in her. Teveril was covered in the blood from his nose, but he stared at the ground. Kolina was still shivering. Priad looked torn between listening and turning away completely. None of them were cruel. None of them were people she would hate, but all three of them were terrified. Terror could be just as dangerous as hatred. 

“The only reason any of you should be leaving this camp is if you’re going to help them,” Yves said. 

“She trapped us in the darkness,” Kolina was shaking her head, “you didn’t see what happened.” 

“I don’t have to,” Yves said slowly. “I only know that worse could’ve happened.” She held her gaze. “And you should’ve known you were never in any danger.” 

Kolina didn’t reply to that. 

“If you’re going to hunt them,” Yves paused, looking to everyone watching, “if any of you try to hunt them down, I’ll stop you.” How she’d stop so many without violence, she didn’t know, but she couldn’t do what she had before. She had to do something. 

Teveril took a step back. “You’re threatening me now as well?” 

“I’m not.” Yves turned away. “Because I know you won’t.” 

He flinched. She wondered if he’d ever forgive that. 

Jiwoo caught her eye then and nodded once. They’d be leaving now. 

“And where’s the fourth whose magic changed?” someone else asked. She vaguely recognised them, but couldn't think of where. 

Then the answer to their question struck her. 

Chaewon. 

Yves looked Jiwoo’s way and froze at the fear in her eyes. 

Jiwoo was looking at the paths, gaze hardly focusing on anything. They’d been waiting for her to come back. 

“They know they won’t be able to come back.” It was Lyriil. “I believe that they’ll try to rescue Haseul, but what if Alluin does give her to them? What if he exchanges her for their loyalty?”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Yves said. Not with the sheer amount of hatred he felt for them. They’d be lucky if she came away unscathed, let alone alive. 

“And how do you know?” he asked. “You never knew him. I did.” His eyes went to Priad and the other two. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much sympathy there. More disappointment than anything. “He was desperate and angry. We fanned the flames for that, but then he the rest.” A small flicker of something came then. It looked like regret. “If I was scared and I thought it was the only way to save one of the few people who hadn’t betrayed me, then maybe I would turn on my own people.” 

A part of Yves knew there wasn’t hate in his words. It didn’t stop her from wanting to hurt him. 

“If any of them would’ve turned, they would’ve done it sooner.” Heejin was there. Where had she been? 

Even Jiwoo looked surprised. She hadn’t expected that. 

Heejin held up a slip of parchment. “Haseul told me where they were going. Hyunjin, Hyejoo, and Yerim will probably get their first, so the rest of us need to follow, because they’ll need us.”

“And what of the fourth?” Lyriil asked. “Where is she?”

Yves heard the murmurs then. They mentioned her magic too, wondering if she was going to turn completely as well. She felt how her anger crawled up . It was joined by shock. How had they not realised that Chaewon had gone there sooner? 

And then Jiwoo’s hand brushed the back of her shoulder. There was a distance sense of calm in the centre of Yves’ chest, but she could still feel Jiwoo’s own dread, as well as her anger. 

“Do you have to ask?” Heejin frowned. “She’s gone with them, hasn’t she?” She looked to Jiwoo then. There wasn’t any anger in her eyes, save for the frustration directed at the rest. 

Jiwoo nodded. “Her path joins theirs. Ours do too.” Her eyes drifted to Kolina. “Or am I seeing that wrong?” Her voice was cold. It surprised those watching, including Kolina. 

“I–it’s true.” 

Jiwoo turned to Yves then. “Then we have to go.” 

Yves could only nod. She turned around, feeling and seeing the gazes on them. She knew what they were seeing. They'd already lost people to Alluin. Were they going to lose even more?

There were flickers of what she’d seen in her sleep. She knew it had been a vision. 

She also knew that if it came to it, Chaewon would fight. She knew that there were fae who’d be able to wield a blade of grief. She knew that they’d use it against her. 

She just had to get there in time to stop it. 

Jiwoo took her hand. 

“We’ll get there,” Jiwoo said. “We’ll stop it.”

“Can you see that?” Yves asked, knowing that Jiwoo wouldn’t give her blind reassurances. Not this time. 

She grimaced. “No.” A pause. “But we have to.” Then her eyes widened, before she let out a long sigh. It took any of the fight she’d had before. 

“What is it?” 

“Jungeun’s gone too,” Jiwoo said. She closed her eyes. “She left the moment they came.” 

“Will she see Chaewon?” Yves felt a tentative flicker of hope. 

She shook her head. “I don't know.” 

Then Jiwoo turned around, shock filling her features. 

Yves followed her gaze, only to see Heejin rushing through the trees. She stopped in front of them, almost out of breath. 

“I’m coming with you,” she said. “If you don’t want me here, we can take different paths, or however that works, but I’ll still be following you.” 

The two of them were just staring at her. Yves had no idea what she was supposed to say. 

Heejin looked between them. “I’m not stopping you.”

“I know,” Yves said. “But what if you’re able to catch up with them now?” With Hyunjin? She hadn’t missed any of that. She hadn’t missed how both Hyunjin and Heejin had become progressively weighed down by the bond they’d somehow missed being able to have. She also hadn’t missed how they’d been able to go against that in spite of the tie from the moon. 

For a moment, she wondered if that had been one of the main reasons Jiwoo had wanted to ignore the bond the way she’d tried. 

“They might not want me there right now,” Heejin replied. “If they have a plan, I’m not going to risk ruining it.”

Yves could only nod. 

“Does she,” Heejin sighed then, “does Chaewon have a plan?” 

“I don’t know,” Yves admitted. She looked to Jiwoo, only to see she was also shaking her head.

Heejin had a contemplative look on her face now. “I didn’t know what anyone’s plan was, really.” She sighed. “But I guess ours is just to follow them and hope we can get to them in time, isn’t it?” 

“And you’re fine if you’re with us along the way?” Jiwoo asked. 

“Chaewon’s in just as much danger as they are, if not more,” Heejin said. “And I know she’s going to help Haseul too.” A flicker of the old resentment appeared, before fading again. “Even if the others’re still doubting it.” 

Yves shook her head. “We’ll prove them wrong,” she said. “All of us this time.” 

She gave her the smallest smile then, nodding once. 

It didn’t change anything that’d happened before, but to even see that expression on Heejin’s face was something she’d never expected to see. Some of the weight in her heart also lessened. 

“Come on,” Heejin said. “Let’s go.” She started walking. 

When Yves looked to her side, she saw that Jiwoo was teary-eyed. She reached out and took her hand. 

Jiwoo looked to her then, smiling as well. 

She suddenly felt a massive wave of gratitude. Jiwoo had been there for her this entire time. So had Chaewon. There had barely been a moment when they hadn’t been able to turn to each other. Even though Jiwoo hadn’t told her everything, they had never turned away from each other. 

Yves wanted to tell her then, but she couldn’t. Not when Heejin was right there, not when what they wanted to do was save Haseul and help the rest where they could. She’d tell her. 

Jiwoo squeezed her hand once, before letting go to follow Heejin as well. 

Yves followed. 

_____

The medallion wasn’t cold yet, but Yerim and the others were gone. Jungeun had watched as Sooyoung argued for them. She'd felt a burst of pride and gratitude for her. She wished they’d have been able to go together. 

Except she’d be faster on her own. 

Jinsoul was in the healing tent, focused on the others who needed her. The thought did nothing except convince her that it might be better if Jinsoul stayed here. 

That exact thought felt wrong to think. 

Jungeun looked around the forest now. No one was there either, save for those on guard. They’d let her through with little problem.

She only had her sword. If she realised it wouldn’t be enough, maybe she’d be able to find something along the way, either in the armouries of a royal house, or palace. 

She searched the light, looking for the camp behind her.

Jinsoul was still in the camp. She’d be too focused on the injured. It was exactly what Jungeun needed, but she felt like she’d lied to her. 

Jungeun swallowed the lump in . She walked away. The guilt never faded. 

_____

“Jinsoul,” Nuala called. “We need to stop the bleeding.” 

She went over immediately, drawing water out from the nearest basin and placing it around Myungsoo’s neck. 

There were raised voices outside, but that didn’t matter. With the way the paranoia had worked itself into the 

Then she felt something in her head. It wasn’t like when she used too much light, where there were the beginnings of pain. It felt like something else, as if the place from where she took her light was pulling back. 

She ignored it and turned her attention back to the wound. It looked like something had bitten him. The blood vessels around it had darkened.  

“Lucky it didn’t spread more, right?” Myungsoo asked, the corner of his lip tilting up. 

Jinsoul nodded and let more light diffuse into the water. 

“Do you have enough light for this?” He was looking around the tent. “For all of us?” 

“We have to,” Jinsoul replied. She made him lie down. “That’ll stay on for a few minutes. Then go outside and take in whatever light you can.” She went to the next person. Luckily, there weren’t that many injuries that’d be a problem. She’d have to refill some waterskins soon. 

Nuala was walking back into the tent then. In front of her hovered a basket full of said waterskins, all gathered from those who’d been coming back from wherever they’d been. 

“Do you think—” 

“I can do it,” Jinsoul cut her off. She picked up the basket of already empty waterskins and then took hold of the other with her mind. All she needed was whatever light the rest could spare. Hopefully Nuala had already gathered that. 

“I’m coming with you,” the elder said. 

Jinsoul very nearly told her not to. She preferred doing these things by herself or with Yerim or Jungeun. 

Except something told her that Nuala wasn’t volunteering to go with her just to help her. She knew full well Jinsoul didn’t need any help when it came to this. 

Jinsoul just walked past and out of the tent. In the distance, she could see some disagreement happening. She didn’t pay much mind to it, instead just going in the other direction towards the forest. She could’ve just called on the water from the tent. Even if it needed a little more exertion with her magic, she could still draw it over to her from a long way’s away. The main reason she didn’t was because she liked to be by the river. She didn’t want to be stuck in the tent all day. 

Nuala was ahead of her now. Jinsoul was following. She didn’t know why she didn’t want to speed up to catch up. That vague pulling sensation in her head was still very much there. Had it gotten stronger?

She almost turned back, but thought against it. It couldn’t have been anything. 

They went to the river in silence. It made Jinsoul wonder why Nuala would have bothered to come with her if she didn’t want to say anything. 

Either that or this could only be said out of earshot. 

“How are you?” Nuala asked. 

Jinsoul almost laughed. “You came here with me to ask me that?” She was deflecting. Others did that well enough when asked that question. 

“In part,” Nuala smiled slightly, “but I thought I’d begin vague enough so that you’d have a chance to evade it all properly.”

She felt a small sense of panic then. A part of her knew full well what was on Nuala’s mind, but it wasn’t the time for that. She wasn’t ready to speak about that. Not with anyone but—

“I know how worried you are each time she’s not here,” Nuala said. 

“She’s here,” Jinsoul frowned, “she—” Then she thought of whatever there was that was tugging on her mind. Immediately, she started to look for her light. She was leaving the camp. 

“You don’t have to leave now,” Nuala said. “She’ll have a long way to go.” 

It didn’t take long to realise where she was even going. 

Jinsoul’s feet were moving before she could stop herself. 

And then Nuala caught her hand. 

She nearly ripped her arm away. 

“Life would go on,” Nuala said. 

She couldn’t help but frown. She saw Jungeun’s motionless form in her mind. 

The healer lifted a hand. “I’m don't mean that.” 

“That?” Jinsoul repeated. If she ever—there was nothing about the fears in her mind that could be spoken of casually. 

“I know what she means to you,” Nuala said. “I know how it would feel if she were ever gone and I know how afraid you are of that.” 

Jungeun words came to her mind. They were joined with eyes that’d been wide with panic, but not terror. 

Nuala’s words registered properly then. 

Jinsoul looked in her eyes for the pain she’d been so close to feeling. She only found a shadow of it, but she’d never even considered that Nuala might have had someone in her life. She’d never seen them. “I’m—“ 

“If you apologise, I might just throw this at your head.” Nuala smiled slightly. “You weren’t anywhere near here when it happened.” 

Jinsoul closed . She had too many questions, most of them ones she didn’t feel she was allowed to ask. How had it happened? Had she been able to love them? How long had she had with them? 

How long had it hurt? 

“She would’ve been an elder along with me,” Nuala continued. “Always told me she’d bring in healers from all across our society so that I’d still have enough time for myself—for the both of us.” There was a small smile and her eyes were warm. Jinsoul still felt the grief that tinged her light. 

Then a hand was on her shoulder, gently squeezing it. 

“I’m telling you all this, not because I want you to be ready, because you can’t be.” Her grip tightened ever so slightly. “But I want you to consider what you’d do to keep her in your life.” 

“It’s not about keeping her in my life,” Jinsoul retorted. “It’s keeping her alive.”

“I think that’s your main reason,” Nuala said. “But it’s not the only one. It never can be, because that’s how our minds work.” She let go. “You’d want to keep her alive for Yerim, for the rest here, for her father, and for yourself.” A pause. “You don’t know how you’d live your life without her.” 

“I know that,” she snapped. The thought hurt to think, but she had lived without Jungeun for a long time. 

She’d also lived with her for a large part of life as well. 

Nuala was only looking at her. 

Jinsoul felt some of her irritation grow, but she pushed it down. “Are you telling me I should be ready to lose her? Do you want me to be careful with how I see her? To turn away?”

“I want you to consider the questions I never did,” Nuala said.

“But I already have.” Jinsoul’s pulse was in her ears. All she could think about was Jungeun’s voice when she told her she couldn’t see. The pain in her eyes when the darkness had surged around her heart, nearly taking it away completely. “I have for years.” 

“Jinsoul,” her eyes bore into hers, “I need you to be very honest with me.” 

She needed to go. What if this pull was Jungeun needing her? Jinsoul needed to be there. She had to get there in time. 

“There are many in danger,” Nuala said. “I fear they may all be at risk at the same time.” 

Jinsoul froze. Nuala couldn’t see these things. She wasn’t a seer. 

“The only reason Jungeun wouldn’t tell you where or when she’s going is because she knows you’d make her stay.” 

She shook her head. “No I—”

“I saw you,” Nuala’s voice was a bit firmer now, “both times.” 

Jinsoul flinched. “That doesn’t—”

“You collected yourself.” Her gaze was gentle. “You did everything you could and you knew what had to be done, even when you knew what could happen.” 

Jinsoul felt cold. There was still that sensation in her mind. It felt like something was pressing in on it. Could it have been a pull? 

“You knew when to turn to others who could do what you couldn’t.”

Jinsoul started walking. Jungeun was getting further away. She could feel a distant sense of dread. Was it her own, Jungeun’s, or something else? 

Nuala caught her arm again, pulling her to a stop. “You may not be the one who can save her.” 

“I’m not going to save her,” Jinsoul snapped. 

“Then why are you going?” Nuala asked. “Does she need you?” 

The words strained at something in her chest. “No.”

Nuala’s brow shot up. “Do you need her?” 

You don’t need me to be okay. 

“I need her to be safe.” Jinsoul’s eyes were burning. “And if there’s any way I can do that, I will.” She took her arm away, She raised a hand to the river. She drew out all the water she’d need to fill the waterskins around them. There was enough to flood a mortal’s cottage. 

She infused it all with moonlight. She felt a distant tug on her head again. 

“You can’t—”

“We need it,” Jinsoul told her. “Whatever happens, we need as much as we can here.” She began uncapping waterskins and letting the water flow in. 

“You’ll need your light.” 

“I’ll take in more on the way,” Jinsoul said. “Someone once told me that the rest of the world absorbs moonlight as well. I just need to draw on it.” She could feel it ingrained in the water. If the way to wherever Jungeun was and where she was going was long enough, she’d be able to regain most of what she’d given up. 

Jinsoul was halfway through the waterskins. Nuala was only looking at her, but her expression was just short of panic. It wasn’t something Jinsoul was at all accustomed to seeing on her face. 

“You can’t convince me not to go.”

“And you won’t be able to convince her to stay,” Nuala replied.

Jinsoul kept working. Had Jungeun even taken a waterskin with her? 

“Jinsoul, you know—”

“You don’t know,” she hissed. Nuala's pain had long faded. “You can’t tell me to prepare for her death and just tell me to hope that the others will somehow be able to protect her.” She filled on another waterskin. 

Nuala didn’t answer. 

So Jinsoul continued. “I know she might never come back,” she said. “I know that if I see her now and she goes, it might be the last time I ever see her.” She threw the last waterskin away. “Do you think I don’t see that? Do you think I don’t know how easily she’d risk her life?” 

“And aren’t you willing to do that same thing now?” Nuala asked. “Once you get there and you see the rest, I know you’d do the same thing she would for any of them.”

Jinsoul frowned. Of course she would. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re being as reckless as she is. Think about what could happen. Jungeun doesn’t need you to protect her, but she might have to protect you.”

She took a step back. Nuala didn’t follow. 

“I just need you to be aware of everyone who could be at risk from this.” Nuala’s eyes were undeniably gentle, but they still held a warning. “And I don’t just mean their lives.” 

Jinsoul walked away. Nuala would be able to carry the waterskins back fine. She had enough light that no spirit would come. 

It took only a brief look into the light for Jinsoul to find her again. She followed. 

_____

They were running. 

Haseul had been the one to sense that there was someone after them. Vivi had looked to the light but seen nothing. 

She'd felt the distant ice of darkness. She’d seen four shadows in the distance, more prominent than any spirit she’d come across before. 

Haseul had smothered their fire, while Yeojin had gathered the tent in the next moment. Vivi had cast what illusions she could over their steps, but she’d known they wouldn’t work. If you were truly being hunted, those illusions only worked so far. 

They’d only been running a few minutes, but when Vivi looked back, she saw that one was getting closer and closer. The others weren’t nearly as close. Were they planning something? 

Now that they were closer, she could feel the darkness as if it were only a few feet away. Not even the spirits had made her as unsettled as this blade did. Was it because their pursuer meant to use it? 

The fatigue of the past days still clung to her. They’d fought spirits and vampires, the latter of which had been sent by Alluin himself. Vivi wondered if the same applied to the spirits. Almost all of the spirits where they were now were of darkness, not even the corrupted light. Some were benevolent, but most came after them, even when the sun was still in the sky. 

“We should just turn around,” Yeojin said, voice strained. “Fight them now instead of tiring ourselves out.”

“You can outrun them,” Haseul snapped. “Keep going.” She suddenly turned, leaving them no choice, but to follow. 

Vivi hadn’t expected Haseul to be the fastest of them, but she kept ahead, even with the injuries she’d still been nursing. 

And then Yeojin cried out, falling to the ground. Vivi came to a stop immediately. A length of ice had buried itself in Yeojin’s leg. 

“Get down,” Haseul barked out. 

Vivi crouched down just as another stretch of ice sailed over her. 

She could only watch as Haseul summoned a spear, before it was launched through the air. 

It buried itself into a woman’s chest. She choked out a scream, but she was already falling back. She’d be dead within minutes. 

“Get Yeojin,” Haseul said. Her eyes were already searching the forest. “The others are still far away enough.” 

But why? Why hadn’t they already ambushed them? Why had one been sent here? 

Vivi went over to Yeojin. She could carry her, but they’d still have to give her at least one healing draught before they set off again. Even if it could make the injury worse, Yeojin would need to move without it hurting. 

“I can walk.” Yeojin pushed her away.

“You’re going to have to run.” Haseul knelt down and pulled the ice out. Moonlight wrapped around Yeojin’s leg in the next moment. “And you can’t slow each other down.” 

Vivi felt panic try to take hold of her. It couldn’t be now. They didn’t even know where they were supposed to go to take her. They wouldn’t be able to find her. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yeojin asked. There was only confusion. For now. 

“You’re both going now,” Haseul said. Her eyes were almost blinding with the light they held. “You’re telling them what we saw, what we learned.” 

They hadn’t even learned enough to justify that. They’d seen that there were witches with coils of darkness on their arms, a threat that would only grow stronger the more those witches wanted to turn. 

“Seul, what—no,” Yeojin was shaking her head, “I’m not leaving you.” 

“Yes you are,” Haseul snapped. “I didn’t ask you to come with me so you’d get captured.” 

“You didn’t come out here to get captured either,” she shot back. “And if I’m here, I can help—”

Haseul gripped her shoulders, before shoving her in Vivi’s direction. Vivi caught her before she could fall. 

“You’re more of a help away from me than you are here.” Her gaze softened. “Both of you are.” She met Vivi’s eyes once, before looking back at Yeojin. “He wants us weak. He wants our numbers down. If they get any more than one of us, he gets that.” 

“You’re stronger than me,” Yeojin said, her voice quickly rising to a shout. “He takes me, and we won’t lose one of our best.” 

Haseul looked at her for a long moment. Pride and anger were warring in her eyes. She seemed to settle on pride. “You’re going to come back here,” she said. “And you’re going to fight and get me out of there.” She took her hand and held it tightly. “With the others.” She lifted her head to look at Vivi. There was a fear there, but only for a second. It was replaced by determination, a stubborn certainty that she was right. 

That same fear curled into a pit in Vivi’s stomach, but she couldn’t smother it with anything else. Haseul was expecting the worst to come from this. Alluin hated the Astra. He’d inspired that same hatred in his followers. 

And Haseul was walking straight into it. 

“They’re not worth it,” Yeojin’s eyes were glassy, “knowing if we can save them—you’re not—you can’t risk your life for them.”

“You don’t know how many of them he’s already turned against you,” Vivi added. What if they didn’t even bring her back to Alluin? What if she—

“There’s just three of them. If they want to try anything, then I’ll be back sooner than I thought,” Haseul replied, already taking a step back. Her eyes were searching the forest instead of looking at them. There was a dying elf only ten metres away. “But this will be worth it,” the corner of her lip tugged up, “it has to be.”

“I’ll go instead,” Vivi said. “‘I’ll tell them I want to join them.” 

Haseul shook her head. “He’ll know you’re lying. Even if he doesn’t, the moment you turn on them, he’ll kill you.” She looked away now. Her eyes were glassy. “Just get back home.” 

Then Haseul was gone, sprinting to where they’d run from. 

A strangled cry left Yeojin and she was making to go as well, stumbling on her injured leg. She got ten metres before Vivi caught her. 

“Let go!” Yeojin tore one arm away. She’d trained enough to almost match her in strength

Vivi tightened her grip. “You heard her,” she said softly. “We’re coming back.” 

“We could save her now,” Yeojin snarled. “We could kill anyone following.” 

“They don’t all want to be there,” Vivi began to pull her back, “don’t waste the chance she’s given us.” 

“She didn’t have to!” Yeojin kicked her away. A staff of moonlight appeared in her hands, before she wound on her. It was blunt on both ends. “We’ll be lucky if they don’t kill her. She could’ve lost her mind by the time we get back.” 

“She knows that,” she said slowly. She made stone rise beneath the ground. She’d make a wall around them if Yeojin made another run for it. “She knew how dangerous it was when she left the first time. She knew how dangerous it would be to take us with her, but she still did.” 

“And now we’re the messengers?” Yeojin scoffed. “I wouldn’t have come if I’d have known that.” Tears clung to her eyes, but they didn’t fall any more than they had before. “I came to help you. To protect both of you if it came to it.” She looked to where Haseul had gone. “I’m not letting her die for this.” 

“Neither am I,” Vivi told her. “We’re sending word to the rest and we’re making a plan to get back. Then we’ll free her, we’ll get whatever they’ve done to her healed, and then deal with the rest.” She went over to her. “Yeojin, she’s bought us some time, but if they have someone with the sight, or a witch who’s done any scrying, we need to be out of reach before they even send someone out.”

And Vivi wasn’t Jungeun or Chaewon. She couldn’t push herself through ruined organs, nor did she have a shielded mind. She just had the stone and moonlight. Neither of those were a guarantee for their lives. 

Getting the help they needed was. 

“Please,” Vivi said. “Hate that I’m the reason you can’t go after her, hate me for turning away from her, but just come with me. I can’t fight my way into or out of that place alone.” Neither can you.

The staff melted back into Yeojin’s skin. 

Vivi took that as the chance to take her arm. She squeezed it lightly. “Jungeun and Hyunjin can, along with anyone else who’ll come back with us.” 

Yeojin turned away, tearing her arm from Vivi’s hold. Then she started walking, stumbling away on her wounded leg. In the opposite direction Haseul had gone. 

Vivi’s eyes burned with the relief she’d felt. She could only hope they’d made the right choice. She could only hope that Haseul would survive.

_____

The moment Yerim had seen Jungeun’s path coming their way, she’d been torn between fear and relief. When she’d told the other two, they’d both immediately slowed their pace. She’d seen some of the fear in the shadows ease. 

Of all people to have at your side, Jungeun was one of the people who’s mere presence could give you the confidence you needed—a little bit more a reassurance that you’d make it. 

Except someone else’s path was going to be following soon enough. 

Yerim couldn’t help but brace herself for when that decision would actually be made. Jinsoul wouldn't have known that Jungeun had left. The thought itself left a sour taste in , even if it made sense why Jungeun hadn’t told her. 

It only took ten minutes for Jungeun to reach them. Yerim heard the quick rattle of her sword. She’d taken it with her. 

“What does it look like?” Jungeun called when she was close enough. 

“Bad,” Yerim admitted. “Did you sprint here?” Jungeun could make a distance farther than most. Yet another feat she'd trained herself to accomplish.

There was a weak smile on her face. “Couldn’t risk you outrunning me.” 

There was more to that. 

“Haseul’d given me something,” Jungeun explained, “so I could find her.” Then she looked at them. “You left when you knew something was happening?” 

Yerim glanced at the other two. 

“Almost,” Hyunjin said. “We had a little mixup.”

Then Jungeun looked at them fully. “I heard some of it before I left camp.” Her eyes flit between them, before landing on Hyejoo’s hands. Her knuckles were still bloody. “But you’re alright?”

“Fine,” Hyejoo said. “But I don’t think they’ll let us come back.” Her voice trembled slightly at the end. 

“They’ll have to,” Jungeun said. “I’ll make them.” 

Yerim almost smiled. “Hyejoo might’ve punched Teveril in the face, Hyunjin might've disarmed them, and I may have trapped them with trees for a little bit.” 

She shrugged. “We’ll get to that when we get to it.” It was rare to hear her even think of the future in those terms. Especially at a time of this. 

Yerim felt a small flicker of hope. 

“And if they don’t let you come back?” Hyunjin asked. “What happens then?” 

Jungeun hardly faltered. “Then I don’t come back.” She put a hand on Hyunjin’s arm. “Haseul coming back is what we need first. The rest of us getting out of this alive is the next part. Being safe from his revenge is what we worry about last.”

“It’s not—”

“Nothing will be simple,” Jungeun replied. 

Yerim wanted to ask her what she expected to find. She wanted to ask her if she had a plan. She wanted to know what they were supposed to do when Jinsoul followed, because she was going to. 

And then Jungeun stumbled. 

Yerim caught her. In the same moment, she saw Jungeun’s path stretch away from them. She watched as Vivi and Yeojin’s paths split from Haseul’s. 

“What happened?” Hyunjin was coming over them.

Yerim watched as Haseul’s path disappeared again into the darkness that surrounded Alluin’s. She didn’t see it surface. 

Yerim cried out.

“Yerim?” Jungeun’s voice was tight. “What do you see?” 

“I can’t see her,” Yerim whispered. “I don’t know where she’s going.” She saw other paths drifting towards Haseul’s. They met that same darkness. Looking at it, Yerim felt the cold flood her. It wasn’t what her own darkness had brought, but something deeper. 

“Who?” Hyejoo was in front of her now. They were all looking at her, panicked. 

Yerim let go of Jungeun and moved away. Her head was filling with memories she didn’t want. There was the feeling of drowning and the person she'd killed after it. She saw the others whose lives she'd ended, impales by branches or drowned in the earth. 

“Get back,” Jungeun was saying to the other two. “What part of the shadows bring calm?” 

Yerim didn’t want calm. She wanted her thoughts to be drowned in something else. It wouldn’t matter if it was anger or grief. She just didn’t want to see what she did now.

“I’m not sure if—“ Hyejoo began. 

“We could try this,” Hyunjin said. “It doesn’t hurt anyone with light. I don’t think it’ll hurt her.” 

“Let me first.” Hyejoo sounded scared. 

Yerim almost screamed when she saw something else. It wasn’t a memory of hers. Someone was being overcome with darkness. She saw their eyes fill with it, heard how they screamed. She watched their face fall slack when the darkness overcame their mind. 

The next person came. Then another. It kept going. 

And then something warm was pressed to her forehead. It blinded her, but it also let the people vanish from her mind. 

Instead of guilt and hate, there was only calm and something heavy.

Yerim’s eyes filled with tears. 

Warm arms went around her next. She began to sob. 

“Do you still see it?” Jungeun asked. She held her tighter. 

Yerim focused on the scent of smoke, something that’d always brought her comfort. “I think I saw some of his past,” she muttered. “People he’d driven mad.” Was that the moon giving her that? Or simply just the past? 

What if it was the fate that he’d give Haseul? 

Jungeun’s eyes were just in front of hers then. The fear from before was all gone. “And that was the past,” she said.  “We’ll change what happens now.” 

Yerim closed her eyes. She wanted to look at the paths, but she didn’t dare to do it. 

“The paths changed fast,” Jungeun said. “She gave me a talisman that’d turn cold if she needed me to come.”

“And it is,” Hyunjin said. “We need to go and we have to be prepared for anything.” 

“Prepared,” Hyejoo repeated. “You want to attack?” 

“Do you think we’ll survive if there’s a fight?” Hyunjin asked. “Were you ever able to sneak in, could you have?” There wasn't any time for an answer. "Because we have to know this before we get there." Her voice had sharpened.

Yerim forced herself to open her eyes. 

Hyejoo looked scared, while Hyunjin stood with her back straight and proud. She'd missed this part of her. She just wished it hadn't returned now. 

“No,” Hyejoo sighed, “he’d know we were there. The fae he’s got would as well.” 

“Then we have to be ready,” Hyunjin said. She looked Jungeun’s way. “We can’t risk something happening to Haseul, or the rest of us, because we were too weak.” 

Yerim looked up. She knew the look on her face, but she also saw something new. “You can’t go.” She didn’t say the reason. She couldn’t. 

Jungeun’s face fell immediately. Guilt swam in her eyes. 

Yerim knew why. “Jungeun,” she started. What was she even going to say? Stay here? Come with us? When it was obvious where Jungeun would go, how could she say anything to try and convince her otherwise? 

“You’ll go first,” Jungeun said. “I’ll follow.”

“What?” Hyunjin frowned. “When?”

“As soon as I can.” Jungeun squeezed Yerim’s arm, before she stood, pulling them both up. “I might end up outrunning you.” 

Yerim didn’t know what to think. What did it mean? 

“I don’t know how many will come,” Jungeun said. “But I’ll tell them.” 

Hyejoo looked as confused as Yerim felt. “They’ll be too scared to come,” she replied.

“Maybe they will,” Jungeun nodded, “but whoever does come might be the help we need.” 

But who would come? Would anyone except for those closest to them? Or those who had been? 

Maybe that was who Jungeun would go to. Sooyoung, Jiwoo, and maybe even Chaewon. 

Yerim forced herself to look into the light then. She winced when it pricked at her head, but she didn’t see any memories again. 

“Chaewon’s not in the camp,” Yerim said. “She’ll be going to Haseul too.” How did she know?

All three looked at her. Yerim watched Hyejoo’s expression. There wasn’t any anger or distaste. All she saw was confusion, with fear joining it soon after. 

“And the others?” Jungeun asked. 

“They’re still back at camp,” Yerim replied. “But they’re going to follow.” They had to know where Chaewon was. Or did Jiwoo already know? Or had she not seen it? 

“How would she have known where Haseul went?” Hyejoo asked. Her eyes had hardened. Was this the anger that came with the mention of her, or was it something else?

Yerim saw then what stretched out from the centre of Hyejoo’s chest. There were pieces of silver in the darkness. 

It gave her both hope and doubt. There was no doubt that they both missed the other’s presence in their lives, but there was also no chance of either ever forgetting what had happened. And even if there was the slightest chance of Hyejoo forgiving her, Yerim didn’t know if Chaewon would ever forgive herself. A part of her didn’t know if Chaewon should, or shouldn’t. 

“You don’t have to go.” Jungeun’s voice was hesitant, as if she knew exactly how hypocritical it was of her to say that. 

“We do,” Yerim said immediately. A part of her didn’t want Jungeun to go either, but she didn’t say it. The reality was they needed her just as much as they did Haseul. 

And then she nodded. “Alright.” She gave her a smile, but it faltered around the edges. “I’ll meet you along the way.”

“Can’t you just send them a message?” Hyejoo asked. “The right people would still know to come.” 

Something drifted into Jungeun’s eyes and it didn’t fade. There was guilt, but also resolve. “I have to go back,” she said. “Then we’ll see each other. Try to send word if something changes.” 

Yerim could still see Jungeun’s path as it went to Haseul, but there was the faint outline of something going back, before it turned around, a few shades darker. She’d be following both paths. 

She saw another’s join it. 

“Do you want me with you?” Yerim asked. A part of her was surprised Jungeun would even go back to face her. The other dreaded the moment Jinsoul realised that Jungeun’s path wouldn’t waver from where she would go. Would Jinsoul come with or would she go back to where she was needed most? Yerim couldn’t see where she’d go. 

“Chaewon needs you,” Jungeun said. “And find Yeojin and Vivi. You’ll need them.” 

“We can’t get them involved,” Hyejoo said. She looked to Hyunjin. “It’s too dangerous, they’re—”

“Vivi has more experience than both of us,” Hyunjin replied. “And Yeojin can hold her own.” 

Yerim saw the passage of different emotions in Jungeun’s eyes. She saw dread fade to flickers of doubt, before being replaced by pride. 

“Be care—” Jungeun shut , searching Yerim’s eyes. She was quiet for a few seconds. “I’ll see you soon.” She pressed a quick kiss to the side of her head. “Promise.” And then she was off. 

Yerim felt her eyes start to burn in the next moment. She turned away. 

“Yerim?” Hyejoo was at her side. “She’ll be okay.”

She could only nod. 

Promise. 

It might have been one of the first Jungeun had ever given like that. Yerim hoped it was the right time for her to start with them. 

_____

Jungeun ran back. She knew Jinsoul was following. She knew the worry she’d feel. She knew how small the chance of convincing Jinsoul to let her go was. She also knew that nothing Jinsoul would say could make her go back. 

But she needed to see her for any of that to happen. 

The medallion was still so cold. It was the reason she would turn back again. No matter what was said now. 

How many times had she told Jinsoul she’d be more honest with her? She’d hidden enough for it to mean that she’d lied to her. 

It only took a moment to look into the light and then she saw her. She was closer than Jungeun had thought she’d be. How quickly had she realised that Jungeun was gone? Had someone told her? 

A part of her yearned to be closer, to see her. The other part dreaded what she’d see, what she’d hear, and maybe even what she’d have to say. 

And then she saw her. Really saw her. The sight tore at her chest. She felt a burst of pain, stumbling as she tried to right herself again. 

Jinsoul had come to a stop as well. Her eyes were already teary. Her hands were shaking. 

Jungeun didn’t know what she was supposed to do or say to make it better. 

Going back with Jinsoul was the answer to that.

Jungeun walked a bit closer, waiting to see if Jinsoul would back away. Her chest ached, even more than it had before. 

“You knew why Haseul was going?” Jinsoul asked. Her voice wasn’t harsh, but Jungeun still winced. “Were you just waiting for a sign?”

Jungeun opened , but nothing would come. She didn’t know what to say to get rid of the look in her eyes. 

Then she got the right words out. “How did you find me?” she asked, barely trusting the words not to shake as she said them. “How did you know I was here?” She’d run too quickly for Jinsoul to really see her leave. She’d been too far away for Jinsoul to have really been able to see where she was going. 

“I knew.” Jinsoul’s hand twitched up, before it stopped. 

Jungeun didn’t know what that meant. She didn’t know how Jinsoul was supposed to have known that. Maybe she’d been able to see the light even farther than Jungeun thought, or maybe Jungeun’s control over it was still too weak. That sometimes led to trails of light being left behind. It had to have been that. 

She felt a small lump of unease at that. She still wasn’t as strong as she should have been. She hoped desperately that Jinsoul didn’t know that. 

“You’re still hurt.” Jinsoul’s voice was quiet now. She was trying to keep herself calm, but the fear in her eyes gave her away. Jungeun was the reason for that. 

“Barely.” Jungeun forced her own voice to remain steady. “And Haseul could be worse off.”

“Then I’ll go instead.” 

Jungeun thought of the threats that they’d face there. There would be emotional fae, mental fae, Alluin. There was a blood elf there too. 

“Don’t you dare tell me it’s too dangerous.” Jinsoul was walking forwards now. “You can’t go.”

“But I am,” Jungeun said. “I have to go.” 

“There’s two emotional fae,” the words were rising in volume, “and one who can read your mind. You go there and they’ll target you first, they’ll—” Her voice broke. “They’ll try to destroy you.” Tears were filling her eyes, but she was trying to keep them down. 

Jungeun wished she could take them away the way Jinsoul could. She wished she could say something to stop them from falling. 

The worst thing was that she could. She could say something that was exactly what Jinsoul wanted to hear. She could go back. 

Jinsoul coming with her was the other option, but she didn’t want that either. Not when so many were already putting themselves at risk. The camp needed Jinsoul too. 

“They could do that to anyone,” Jungeun said quietly. “Including you.” Just the thought of a fairy taking hold of Jinsoul’s mind, of trying to reach any of her emotions, it filled her with the resolve she needed to not let her own eyes grow teary. She wondered if Jinsoul would see through it or she’d see what Jungeun wanted her to see. 

“You’re going back.” The look in her eyes was torn between insistence and something close to desperation.

Jungeun didn’t know whether to be frustrated or guilty. “I can’t.”

“Of course you can.” The look in her eyes grew sharper. “All you have to do is turn around.”

Except the others would never turn around. Jinsoul wouldn’t either the moment she realised that they needed to save Haseul and protect Chaewon. Jinsoul’s worry stemmed from something Jungeun could understand, but Jinsoul needed to see that she was wrong this time. She needed to at lest see that she wouldn’t be able to convince Jungeun to stay. 

“And if they end up having to fight for their lives?” Jungeun asked. “Do you think I’d walk away from that?” 

The edge in her eyes vanished immediately. “Jungeun, wait, I—” Jinsoul was shaking her head. “You don’t know how dangerous it could be.”

She almost scoffed. “Of course I do. That’s why I have to go.” Jungeun felt the heat around her arms grow. She forced it down before any flame could form. 

“Please don’t.” Jinsoul hadn’t moved from where she stood. “Don’t go this time. I’ll go instead. Just go back.” 

Jungeun felt something grow strained in her heart again. It was a pressure she could barely stand to feel. 

The look in Jinsoul’s eyes was fragile. She’d seen it before and she hated that it was there now. Jinsoul was terrified that she’d die.

I can’t look at you and not think about how I almost lost you.

“The others are on their way as well,” Jungeun said. “What happens when they’re there? What happens if they need help?” 

“They don’t need you there.” Jinsoul’s eyes were glassy yet again. “I’ll go. Sooyoung and Jiwoo will as well.”

“That’s not what this’s about,” she said. “You just want me to be safe.”

Jinsoul’s response was immediate. “I don’t want you to die.”

“You think I do?” Jungeun could feel her eyes burning. “I don’t go into things expecting I’ll die anymore, you know that!” She had to. The skin of Jungeun’s arms was warming. She smothered whatever flames were threatening to come there. “But that doesn’t mean anything on it’s own, because some die anway, Jinsoul.” She waved a hand at her heart. “There was nothing we could've done to stop this from happening. I wasn’t even doing anything when they came for me.” She pushed past her.  She didn’t want to see the emotions swimming in Jinsoul's eyes. “We can’t control how any of this will happen. The only thing I can do is try and stop the rest from getting hurt.” She wanted to keep walking. She couldn’t. 

The pain she’d seen in Jinsoul’s face was something she couldn’t look at, but she’d caught a glimpse of it. She forced herself to look up now. 

All that she’d said felt wrong to her, even though she’d meant it. Looking at Jinsoul just made all of it worse. 

“I’m going, Jinsoul,” Jungeun forced out, keeping her voice quiet. 

Jinsoul’s expression crumpled, before righting itself again. 

Something in Jungeun broke. 

“Don’t do this,” Jinsoul whispered. “Just let someone else go. Please.”

Jungeun frowned. “What?”

“I can’t—” Jinsoul was trembling. “You can’t save everyone.”

“You don’t get to tell me that,” Jungeun said. “You don’t even believe it.” 

“I don’t risk my life.”

“That’s a lie,” Jungeun snapped. “You tried to take the darkness and at the time it hadn’t mattered what it would do to you.” She didn’t want to think about it, but she had to. “I know how far you’d go to protect them, so don’t act as if I’m the only one who’d risk my life for them. Don’t treat me like I’m someone you can save.” Her heart twisted, but she forced herself to say it. 

Jinsoul was quiet. Jungeun couldn’t ignore the look in her eyes, no matter how much it hurt to see. The ache was even worse now. She’d managed somehow to avoid thinking about it. 

“I’ll go,” Jinsoul said. “I’ll protect them.” Her jaw was tight now. “But I’m not going to watch you go and never come back.” The words seemed to be hard for her to say. 

They were hard to hear. 

“You won’t,” Jungeun started, “I-I’ll—“ The words were a knot in . She needed to say them. She wanted to. 

“Don’t even try,” Jinsoul stepped back, “you’ll just make this worse.” She started to go back to the camp. 

She reached forward, catching her arm. She didn’t want Jinsoul to turn away. Not like this. Maybe afterwards when everything went away, maybe if she realised Jungeun—it didn’t matter what happened. 

Jinsoul’s eyes fell to her hand. For a moment, Jungeun was scared she’d pull away. 

Except she didn’t. It gave her the courage she needed to say the words. 

“I’ll come back,” Jungeun said. They were words she didn’t think she’d ever said before. Not like that.

“Don’t promise me that,” Jinsoul shook her head, “not when you don’t believe it.”

“Then what?” 

“You know what.” 

“And you know I can’t.” Jungeun grit her teeth. “You told me you didn’t need my promises. You said you knew you could lose me.” 

“I meant all of that,” Jinsoul said. “But I never said I’d just accept you going somewhere I know you might not come back from.” 

“You can’t know that," she told her. "You can't control that.” 

“But you can,” Jinsoul’s voice cracked, “you don’t have to go.”

She let go of her then. “I do.”

“Did you even think about staying?” Jinsoul asked then. “Or did you know you’d leave the second something happened?” 

“I knew I’d have to leave if they needed me.”

“And what about me?” Jinsoul’s hands were trembling.

I needed you to be okay.

“That’s not fair," Jungeun whispered. Even to her, the words felt empty to say. They made that ache in her chest so much worse. 

“Fair?” Jinsoul repeated. “None of this is fair.” Her eyes were bright with anger now. “I’m supposed to be prepared to lose you, but you’d never let me be at risk of getting hurt, right?” She stepped forward. “If I went with you now, you’d be terrified that something would happen to me." Her voice was now a shout. "You'd be scared that the same fairies I’m scared of hurting you would take my fear and use it against me.” ´

The thought alone made her feel sick. 

“Go,” Jinsoul said then. Too quietly. The words sounded thick. “I know you have to.”

Jungeun took a step back. She didn’t want to go. Did Jinsoul know that? 

Except there wasn’t anything she could say, was there? Nothing that would make this any better. 

Jinsoul looked at her for a long moment. The anger was still there. There was still that desperation, but there was some sort of certainty there still. 

The feeling in her chest was worse now. It wasn’t an ache anymore. She wanted to stay. 

“Please,” Jinsoul turned away now, “just go.”  

Jungeun could hear the disappointment in her voice. She could hear the hopelessness there too. 

So Jungeun left. A part of her felt the moment Jinsoul falter. She only heard it once she was several hundred metres away as a stifled sob. 

She almost turned around. It would’ve been so easy to take her into her arms, but she couldn’t do that. Not after what they’d both said. Not with what Jungeun was doing. 

She forced the wave of emotions that threatened to rise down. None of that soothed the pain. It only got worse with each step she took away. 

_____

Jinsoul sank to her knees. The river flowed past unhindered. She fought the urge to fall in immediately.

She was going to lose her. One way or another, Jungeun was going to get hurt. There was the chance she’d lose Yerim too. Or Haseul, Chaewon—any of them. 

She let the tears fall this time, but bit down on her cheek to stop any sound from leaving her. 

Jinsoul couldn’t do anything to stop it. She couldn’t protect her or any of them. She wasn’t strong enough to fight a blood-wielder. She couldn’t stop a fairy from getting into her mind either. 

She hadn’t even been able to stop Jungeun from going. 

All she could do was be there if Jungeun needed her. 

She doesn’t need you, Jinsoul thought. None of them do. 

Jinsoul cried harder. What if she was too weak? What if she was too slow? What if she tried everything to save them, but failed? 

She grit her teeth, trying to keep the rest back. 

The look in Jungeun’s eyes still clung to her when she’d seen her. She could’ve almost believed that Jungeun hadn’t wanted to go. 

Except Jungeun always wanted to go. What she needed to do and what she wanted was barely distinguishable. So much of the time, Jinsoul wondered if Jungeun knew the difference. Sometimes it felt like she did. In those moments, Jungeun did something that truly made her happy without basing it on what others wanted. Oddly enough, Jungeun’s past times of leaving the camp were included in those moments. The motivation had been warped by her people, but much had been. Still, when Jungeun had left, she’d left for herself. She had the time in her mind purely to herself, to enjoy the world around her by herself. 

She actually looked happier in those moments too. Jinsoul relished in it when she got the chance to see it. 

She put her hands into the river, before letting the water run over her face. The cool edge to it soothed her eyes. 

Her chest ached. More than it usually did. 

She knew why now. That revelation had made all of it hurt even more. Everything had suddenly felt even more unfair. She’d felt even more powerless. 

It all made sense. How she’d known when Jungeun was in danger before, how she’d known where to go, almost as if something was pulling her towards her. It even explained how she’d seen Jungeun’s dreams when no one else had. The bond had been there. It'd been with them for longer than either of them could have known. 

She wanted to tell her that too. What would Jungeun have done if she’d known about the bond? 

Being bound to me isn’t something I’d wish on anyone.

Jungeun had said that to her in the very beginning. That’d been after she’d turned away from others she might have loved, but years before anything else had begun to happen for the two of them. 

No. I’m glad there’s no one. 

Jinsoul let out a long breath. It wasn’t fair to either of them. She couldn’t tell Jungeun, not now, even if that truth could be a chance to make her stay. If she ever stopped Jungeun from stepping in to save someone else—even if Jungeun forgave her, Jinsoul would never forgive herself. 

She heard a low hoot then. 

Jinsoul looked up only to see a large red owl standing in front of her. 

She frowned at her. 

Eclipse jumped into her lap. Her claws dug softly into Jinsoul’s legs. They were warm. 

And then Eclipse hit her arm. She drew her wing back and hit her again. It wasn’t painful, but Jinsoul didn’t trust herself to move. 

“What’re you doing?” she asked. 

Eclipse hit her again. This time on the side of the head. That was a lot gentler, but there was a weird insistence in her eyes. They were blue. 

Jinsoul patted her head. “Did I annoy you?” She’d once been attacked by an octopus, but only because it’d wanted her to catch a fish for him. 

The owl leaned into her hand, nuzzling it. 

Jinsoul lightly scratched her head. The owl was almost too warm, a lot warmer than any other spirit. There were no clear feathers either. 

The ache had gotten stronger. 

Suddenly, a memory filled her mind. Jinsoul saw Jungeun standing on a wooden deck. The sunset framed her figure. The smile she wore was light, still subdued, but as warm as it always was. She knew how Jungeun’s smile changed if she was in the water or on land, or even whether it was dawn, morning, or twilight. Jinsoul loved each one. 

Then they were in the ocean. It’d been a long time since they had. 

She knew why they hadn’t gone. The ocean was where Jungeun had started to overcome her fear of it and it was where they’d both found solace, simply sitting side be side on the beach. It was the place where Jinsoul had seen the most beautiful sides of Jungeun. It was also where she’d truly started to love her. 

Jinsoul was overcome with the calm she’d felt then. She felt it again and again when Jungeun was near. What had been her solace deep under the surface, extended to being the space beside another, simply listening to them speak, or watching how her face lit up as she described what she knew of the world. 

There was a light hit again. This time it was on the front of her face. 

Another hoot. 

Eclipse looked at her with imploring eyes, as if trying to tell her something. In them, Jinsoul was reminded of how Jungeun would look at her when winter came around and she’d fallen ill again, or when the rare case of Jinsoul getting injured happened and Jungeun was torn between chiding her and fretting completely over even the smallest of wounds. 

“Jinsoul?” 

She looked up. 

Sooyoung and Jiwoo were there, both worried. Even more surprising, Heejin was with them too. Jiwoo’s expression had something else too. She knew. She would’ve known that Jungeun was going too. 

“We’re going after her,” Sooyoung said. Then her gaze fell. “All of them.” 

It wasn’t just Jungeun who was out there. 

“I’m coming with you.” 

Sooyoung looked at Jiwoo then. How much had Jiwoo told her? They were supposed to be honest with one another now. 

The two being here now was proof of that. 

“I brought this too,” Jiwoo held up a bag, “supplies, if you want them.”

Jinsoul nodded, wishing she could bring herself to thank her properly. “I’ll need them.” 

_____

Gowon followed the pull of the light she’d given Haseul. It was so far in the distance, but she could feel it. There hadn’t been anything but the occasional tug. It’d happened randomly enough that she knew it’d been by accident. 

She knew Haseul hadn’t told her about what she’d decided to do so she’d follow. That didn’t matter. 

It was too dangerous and even if others followed, not all of them had protection from the mental fae. They didn’t have the darkness either and Gowon wasn’t sure when the ones with the actual darkness would know. She also didn’t know if they were supposed to get involved either. What if the Astra thought they’d turned? Anything that Hyunjin had finally been able to enjoy by not hiding her feelings would be gone. Yerim wouldn’t be able to be with Jinsoul and Jungeun as long as they were in the camp. Hyejoo would lose her chance of being able to come back home. 

Gowon knew that if they applied the same scrutiny to her, she also wouldn’t be able to come back. She’d lose Sooyoung and Jiwoo. 

The only consolation she had was that they were finally finding a path they could properly walk together. Jiwoo knew how to cope with her burden of the sight. She’d learned to without them, but she was still learning how to have it with them when they knew. Sooyoung just needed to learn to acknowledge it without bringing more attention to it than before. She’d lived with it as long as Jiwoo had. She just hadn’t known it. 

There was a trail, one of shadows. It was the only thing she could think of being somehow tied to the blades of darkness Alluin gave his followers. It was scary to think that what he could spare so freely was so potent that it left remnants. 

On the other hand, it made what she wanted to do easier. At least she hoped it would. 

Gowon opened the door, a dagger of grey and black in her hand. She wasn’t going to sneak up on the witch, but she wasn’t going to knock either. 

“Who’s there?” 

Gowon could feel the fear from the farther corners of the room. That was supposed to be what the fae did, except they’d have seen the fear as threads of grey in the air. 

“I’m not an ally of his,” Gowon replied. Her Korean was alright, but still choppy. The accent would tie her to the others the witch knew. The reasons for that fear. She absorbed the dagger. “I think you could say I’m one of his enemies.” She walked a bit further into the house, careful to watch out for any runes. She stepped over two. 

The witch poked her head around the corner. Her eyes filled with recognition for a moment, before it left. “That’s not really reassuring.” 

“I’ve never met him,” Gowon said, before pointing at her neck. “But I have met some of his own a few times.”

“Most of the vampires have never met him,” the witch said. Then she sighed. 

Gowon might’ve laughed another time. She knew the feeling of giving too much away accidentally. If only it wasn’t under these circumstances. 

“How do you know who I am?” Gowon asked. 

Her eyes widened. “I don’t know who you are.” 

“You looked like you knew me when you saw me,” she replied. “One thing I’ve learned over the many years I’ve been alive is how to spot that.”  

“Right.” The witch nodded. “Immortal.” A bit of confusion. 

“I don’t look it?” Gowon tilted her head to the side. 

“Except for the grey hair, you look like a teenager.” Then the witch’s eyes widened again. “Sorry!”

This time, Gowon managed a small smile. “I did that on purpose," she admitted. "I'm not offended."

“Oh,” the witch said. She looked at her for a long moment, before straightening. “Right, you’re wanting something, right?” Hesitance entered her eyes. “I won’t be able to do all that much for you.” 

“I’m not here for much.” Gowon was now a bit over a metre away. The witch hadn’t stepped away. “Nothing that’ll get you in trouble, I don’t think.”

“You don’t think,” she repeated. “I’m not exactly a match for any of them.” Her gaze fell. “They’ve made that clear enough.” Now she turned away, going back to the table she’d been at. There were a few books there, but in the centre was a glass vase. She was painting it. 

Gowon spotted how the witch’s hand drifted to her arm before falling again. 

She looked into the light then, only to see there was a thin band of shadows around her forearm. Thin spindles had risen up her shoulder. 

Gowon noticed then how the witch wore thick clothes, how the fire was burning high, and how there were candles all around. 

“Do you scry?” 

The witch nodded. “But if I would tell you, or even look for where they are, they’d know.”

“I know,” Gowon said. “And I also know where they are.”

“What?” She looked as if Gowon had said she had an extra leg. 

“It’s complicated.” 

The witch rolled her eyes. “It always is, isn’t it?” She shook her head. “I barely understand how my own kind act and then there’re elves and fae too, some hate each other, some hate others together, or they betray each other.” With how the words spilled out, the frustration was clear. 

Gowon might’ve let her say more, but she needed to save the time she’d have before something else happened. 

“How do you contact him?” Gowon asked. 

The witch winced. 

“All I need you to say is that you’ve seen me looking for his followers. You saw that someone’s in danger, someone who’s important and not in his camp.”

“He’ll know I’m lying, even if I send a message from afar.” 

Gowon shook her head. “You won’t be lying.” 

There was a small flicker of fear then. 

“I know how to find them.” She summoned a piece of darkness and light. “So I will.” 

“Are you going to kill them?” The witch eyed it. Her right hand had tensed, the one where the darkness was. 

“I don’t want to,” Gowon replied. Even if their shadows overwhelmed their light, she wouldn’t. Unless there was more murder in it than anger. The anger itself was fine, but it always depended on what was done with it. 

“Ah,” the witch muttered, “could’ve given you a list.” Then she winced, clutching her arm. “Does he know what I say through this?”

“It’s not like the other magic we or the fae have,” Gowon said. “All he can do is know your intentions.” She paused. “It’s not unusual for you to want your revenge, is it?” That must’ve been the reason it’d crawled up her shoulder. 

She only shrugged, before she shivered. “I’ll send the message,” she said. “But what’s it supposed to do?” Then she paled. “Or could they find that out if I know?” 

Gowon shrugged. “I could always send word to another mental fae to take your memory of me coming here.” 

“Please don’t.” The witch’s shoulders curled inwards. “If I don’t have to go through that, I won’t.”

The sympathy Gowon felt strengthened at that. She wondered if there were more involved who’d just been into this. She wondered if that vampire had been the same. Had Torrin also been threatened? Or simply wanting a home like Hanna had? She hadn’t given him the chance to say. 

“Unless I need it?” The witch frowned. “Would he kill me if he knew I’d helped you?”

“Nothing will happen if I die,” Gowon said. “He might get something he wants if that happens.” She absorbed the piece of her warped light. “But if I survive, nothing’ll happen either. If there’d be a risk to you, I’d make sure it wouldn’t happen.” She'd ask another to do it, but no part of her wanted this witch to suffer. 

“Are you one of them who can see the future?” 

“I have a friend who can,” Gowon replied. Then she nodded toward the door. “How long will that message take to send?”

“A few minutes at most?” The witch paused. “Do you really know who you’re following? He’ll ask another like me to see if I'm telling the truth."

“I know which one,” Gowon said. “They’ve been here before. Has a blade of the darkness too.” 

“That’s all of them,” the witch replied. Real fear came now. “I wish it could be destroyed.” She looked at her arm, bracing herself. Nothing happened. 

“It isn’t all evil,” Gowon told her. “If you knew the light like we did, you’d know that isn’t all good either.” 

She looked confused, but still nodded. 

“Send it soon,” Gowon then went over to her, “can I?” She pointed at her arm. 

“You can take it away?” The witch looked at her, almost as if she didn’t think it was a real offer. “Won’t he know?”

“He would,” Gowon said, “which is why I can’t take it from you.” She felt a pang of regret when she saw her face fall. “But I can keep it from reaching your heart.” 

“It was going there?” Her brow furrowed. 

Gowon nodded. “Can I pull it away from there? It won’t be permanent, especially if the darkness keeps surging, but it’ll delay it until someone else can help you.” 

“Someone else?” Then the witch’s eyes fell. “Nevermind.” 

Gowon held her hand over the witch’s arm and pulled on the darkness. She could feel the fear held within it. Was it to make sure the rest were permanently afraid of him? 

She made it wrap a bit tighter around the witch's wrist. If it strengthened, it’d stay there for a bit longer. At least she hoped it would. 

“If he does find you,” the witch started. “What happens then?” 

“I don’t know,” Gowon said. “But that won’t matter.” She started to go to the door. 

“Wait.”

Gowon waited. 

“Why do you have both? I thought that was impossible.”

“I don’t know the answer to that either,” Gowon admitted. 

“Are you more powerful with both?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Anything else?”

“Having both,” the witch took a deep breath, “is that why you look like that?” the witch asked.  

“Like that,” Gowon repeated. “Weak?”

She shook her head. “Sad.” 

Gowon waited a bit before she said anything. “That’s not the fault of the darkness. Not really.” 

“But it’s the reason he isn’t a part of your people anymore,” the witch said. 

“And the light’s also the reason why there was a division in the first place,” Gowon replied. “And my people were the ones who threw him out.” She didn’t know if the witch knew of Hyejoo. She wouldn’t say it. “There’s plenty of darkness in those with light,” she told her. “Even if you can’t see it like you can with me.”

She left before there could be any more room for words. 

Despite it only being late afternoon, the village was quiet. She wondered if that was because of the murders. While the memories of the people didn’t really include the darkness, especially not now, they were still afraid. 

Then she felt a sharp pain in her mind. Fear. It wasn’t hers. 

It was Haseul's.

_____

Hyejoo froze where she stood. She felt a deep pain in her heart. It spread to the rest of her chest and even . It burned. She hadn’t felt something that warm since the last time the light had burned her. 

“What happened?” Hyunjin had turned around. “What’s wrong?”

She saw something then. It went from her chest, a mess of thin silver and black tendrils. It only stretched out a metre from her. Bright green eyes filled her vision and a breathy laugh joined them. She saw those same eyes roll in a way that told you she still thought you’d been funny, but she wouldn’t ever admit it. 

Hyejoo almost smiled just seeing those things. That sort of a lightness was something she'd rarely felt now, even being among those she cared about. 

It was broken bond. Seeing it, properly seeing it, made it feel more real. They’d had one. 

And now it was in tatters. 

The longer she looked at it, the more she felt a different sort of pain form. That burning one was there, but with it came a colder ache. It felt like it was weighing her down, pulling on each part of her chest. 

Was this what she’d felt? Had Chaewon felt this since the day it’d broken? Was that where the empty cast of her eyes had come from? 

“Where’s Chaewon?” 

She saw their confusion immediately. 

“Where is she?” Hyejoo asked. 

“I told you,” Yerim said. “She was going to Haseul too.” 

“Then why haven’t we caught up with her yet?” 

Yerim looked away. 

“Yerim,” Hyejoo started, “if you know, please tell me.” The burning was still there. She could feel both anger and something even darker within it. “Something’s going to happen. I know it.”

Yerim frowned slightly then. “How do you know that?”

“You know how I do,” Hyejoo said. “Just tell me where she is.” 

“You want to know?”

“Of course I do,” she snapped. 

“Not of course,” Hyunjin shook her head, “she would never think you’d want to know either.”

“I know.”

“But are you going to go find her?” Hyunjin asked. “What happens when you do?” 

“I don’t have to know that.” She glanced at Yerim, both hoping and dreading what her answer to that might be. “But I know she isn’t far.” 

“You’re going.” It wasn’t a question. Yerim was looking at her. There was confusion, but also certainty, oddly enough. 

Was she? Hyejoo wasn’t sure if she was supposed to. 

“Where do we go then?”

“Chaewon’s path crosses Alluin’s,” Yerim said quietly. “But most of ours do.” She shook her head. “I still don’t know what happens after that. I don’t know when either.” She didn’t even hide the fear in her eyes then. 

Hyejoo thought of how terrified Yerim had been when she’d first seen what awaited Haseul. 

“We don’t have to know,” Hyejoo replied. “I’ll—we’ll find you.” 

And then she was running. Her chest was still burning. 

_____

Yeojin tried not to shake as she walked. All she could do was look for Haseul. She was getting further and further away. 

At the very least, Vivi hadn’t looked back. Maybe that meant she wasn’t as worried. 

Because she’d known what would happen. Haseul had told her what she was planning. 

She hadn’t told Yeojin.  

The look in Vivi’s eyes was hard to read, but she wasn’t hiding it. While Yeojin wanted nothing more than to take her anger out on her for not telling her, Vivi had never had to tell her those things. Haseul had. 

“You didn’t know she’d leave like that, did you?” Yeojin asked. 

Vivi looked back immediately. Yeojin caught a flicker of guilt followed by pain. “But I knew she’d go.” A pause. “Just not when.”

She could only nod. “But you weren’t going to go with her?” 

The guilt was back. “I wish we could’ve.”

“Looked like it too,” Yeojin shot back. When Vivi winced, she felt guilty for that too. She tried to keep her voice level. “We could’ve convinced her to let us go with her.”

“You know that wouldn’t have worked.” 

Yeojin bit back a retort. It was true. Haseul had made up her mind. She’d seen it perfectly clear then how certain she’d been. She’d known well enough that she couldn’t have convinced her. She just wished that it hadn’t been something like this where she’d decided to be stubborn. 

“I’m sorry, Yeojin.” Vivi stopped walking and faced her fully. “I told her not to go, but she thinks—” She faltered. 

“That she has to do it,” Yeojin said. “And because she knows exactly how dangerous it was, she needed to go alone.” 

There was the smallest of frowns then. “Has she done this before?” 

Amazingly, Yeojin had almost forgotten that Vivi hadn’t been here long. She almost expected her to know these things. 

“Haseul isn’t completely liked for a reason,” Yeojin said. “Normally you respect your elders and consult with them, before making your decisions.” Yeojin might’ve smiled had that very trait not led to Haseul abandoning them. “She did that for the things that affected our standing directly, like negotiations that actually needed to end peacefully or whatever else, but if it was just her, then anything could happen.” 

“So independence was the problem,” Vivi finished. “And still is.” 

“Depends on how you see it,” Yeojin replied. “And when it happens.” She shook her head. “I wish Freya had actually forced her hand.” She laughed. “Maybe Haseul would’ve actually turned to us for help.” 

“But she did.”

Yeojin shook her head. “If she’d let us help, we’d be there with her.”

Vivi’s brow rose. “Captured?” 

“She made us run,” Yeojin shot back. “We can’t even go back to free her. We’re—I’m not strong enough.” 

“It’d depend on who’s there,” Vivi replied. “And how desperate we’d both be.” She shook her head. “Even if you don’t have the right magic, proper defences, or even a long enough life to have developed your skills,” she paused, “that won’t mean you lose the fight.” 

“Is that some sort of wisdom you were taught?” She tried not to sound too disbelieving. 

“Personal experience.” A small smile appeared on her face. “I very often had fights I shouldn’t have won. I survived only because I was desperate and my magic can crush almost anyone if they don’t expect it.” 

Yeojin had no idea how to react to that. She also wasn’t sure what to make of the knowledge that Vivi could actually crush a person if she wanted to. 

“I don’t like doing that,” Vivi said. “It reminds me of the days when I had no control of my magic.” She looked away now. “And to kill someone like that, with no way of defending themselves—” She broke off, before her expression recovered from whatever emotions there’d been then. “A person ought to be able to fight for their life. They should always have a way to keep themselves alive.”

“So you don’t use that magic because it isn’t fair?” Yeojin frowned. “What about a sword to the head?” 

“You can dodge that.” Then Vivi sighed. “It isn’t a definitive rule I have for myself. If I need to save myself or others then I will still resort to the furthest extents of what I can do.”

“But?” She could almost understand it, but her magic had never meant a death from which no one could defend themselves. It did for mortals, but she would never lift her magic against a mortal.

“But nothing.” Vivi shrugged. “I know what I can do and what I don’t want to do.”

“We could storm their camp now.” 

“And slaughter anyone who would resist?” Vivi asked. “Even the ones who we’re here to spare?”

“I came with you to save our camp,” Yeojin said. “I didn’t come to help theirs.”

“So did I,” Vivi replied. “Haseul went for both.”

“So you’ll just do what she wants?” she asked. “Because you feel some sort of obligation to her or because it’s right?”

“Both.” Vivi almost said it simply. “She asked us to come with her for a reason. She didn’t need either of us for what she would do, but she might need us for the rest.” 

“But we can’t do anything,” Yeojin snapped. She wished she hadn’t, but Vivi wasn’t seeing what she was. “If you’re going to try and see if everyone we go after or comes after us should be spared, we’ll lose the time we need to actually stop him. His numbers are the reason he can thrive the way he does and it doesn’t matter why most of them are there, they’ll still defend him.” 

“It’s not just his numbers,” Vivi said. 

“What?” She grit her teeth, wondering if this was going to be how things would be for however long this took. Would Vivi just maintain that infuriating calm and let Yeojin shout at her? She didn’t want to raise her voice with Vivi. She didn’t deserve it, but she was the only one there. 

“It’s their loyalty,” Vivi continued. “It’s how willing they are to stand by him, how much they believe him, but also how much they fear him.” She held Yeojin’s gaze the entire time. “And I believe that there are still many people who fear him more than they hate us.” 

Yeojin didn’t know if there was anything she could say to that. A part of her agreed. Was that the one Haseul had taught her to adopt or simply the way Vivi could urge those thoughts into her mind? 

And then she realised something else. 

“Us?” Yeojin repeated. 

Vivi frowned slightly. “Us?” 

“Not the Astra, or ‘my’ people?” 

Vivi’s eyes were distant then, almost as if she was looking to the light for help. Yeojin realised then that her eyes glowed much more than they had when she’d first come here. It was the work of the moonlight. She’d seen that in Jungeun, Jinsoul, and Yerim too. 

“I don’t think I’d say this for all Astra,” Vivi said slowly. Her gaze refocused, lifting to look at Yeojin again. “But you’re my people now.”

Yeojin had to swallow the lump that grew in then. 

“I’m sorry.” Vivi's voice was softer now. 

Whatever she’d tried to hold back came up now. “You don’t have to apologise to me,” Yeojin said, closing her eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.” She wanted to blame Haseul, but even then she couldn’t. “You just came to help and that’s what you’re doing.” She wiped at the tears still spilling from her eyes. 

There were a few footsteps and then Vivi had put her arms around her. 

“Haseul will be alright,” Vivi said. “We’ll save her. Even if it isn’t you or I, we will.” Then she let go. “Let’s keep going.” Her eyes were slightly teary too, but they hadn’t fallen. She started walking. 

“But where’re we going?” 

Vivi lifted a brow again. She could be awfully expressive when she wasn’t talking. 

“We’ve been walking in silence this entire time,” Yeojin said. “You sent one message, but we’re not going back to the camp.”

“I think this’s a route they take.”

Yeojin couldn’t help but frown again. “How do you know that?” 

Vivi nodded at the ground. “There’s something here. It doesn’t feel right to me. Isn’t that Alluin’s darkness?”

Yeojin followed her gaze. She’d felt cold before, but not because of anything on whatever path they were walking across. It’d just been the fatigue that followed a fight. Her leg still hurt too so the light she did have was trying to heal it. 

She saw small stretches of light in the air. She could also feel how the shadows were strained. It wasn’t like normal, where they were something she could barely focus on without somehow losing sight of them. No, she could see some of them. The ones that were along this path of the woods they were walking through.

Looking at them more, she began to feel a slower-moving anger, one she’d never had before. She also started to feel a deep shame, almost hate. There was guilt too. A lot of it. 

She looked away from it. Something within her heart felt heavy. 

“It’s Chaewon,” Yeojin said. “Not Alluin.”

“What?” Vivi stared at it, searching. “I thought you can only see that if they’re,” she trailed off, “is she hurt?” 

“I don’t think so.” I hope not, she added silently. “It might be because of how her magic is.” If she had both, maybe they were warring so much that it left pieces of her light and the darkness. That was why she could see the shadows. Chaewon was still tied to the light and her magic had made it visible to them, at least enough to see a faint trail. “But she’s not going to either camp.” 

“Do we still follow?”

“She’s alone,” Yeojin said. “Sooyoung and Jiwoo aren’t anywhere near here. They should be.” How had Jiwoo not seen this? Had Chaewon found a way to hide it? Sometimes even seers couldn’t see a sudden change like that. “We have to find her.” How they could help her, or if they even had to, she didn’t know. 

But wherever Chaewon was, she could very well be a target for Alluin. With what she’d done, it wasn’t hard to think that people would be sent after her. As much as Chaewon had already been able to fend for herself, there was a limit. Everyone had them. 

_____

Haseul woke with a horrible ache in her entire body. It'd settled on her arms, legs, and neck. Whatever the source was, it was cold. She couldn’t see. 

And there was a pressure in her head, one she knew well. 

Thoughts that weren’t her own flowed into her mind. 

I can’t see that well, the fairy said. 

Good, Haseul snapped. She flooded her head with one of her more brutal fights.

She could feel the fairy retreat. I’ve faced worse, you know. And I could push in further to stop you. 

Then do it. 

Acting like that won’t get you out of this alive, his voice was patient. Luckily not condescending, or else Haseul might’ve put him on a list. 

Do you think I came here convinced I’d survive? 

I know you meant to come here, the fairy replied. Most know you’re not one to get caught. 

They know me here? 

No response. 

Of course. It’d help them more if she didn’t know who else was here. 

Correct. 

“You’re not supposed to answer that,” Haseul muttered. At least she could still speak. 

You didn’t come to kill us, the fairy continued. Surprisingly, you don’t want to kill me. Unless you’ve hidden that too. 

I would’ve gotten out of a few other messes if I could hide that, Haseul retorted. 

Right. He paused. You’re used to fighting those like me. 

The trick is not to think. 

It isn’t that simple, the fairy said—thought. Hiding from us involves thinking in a different way, one that’s unique only to you. While it's usually only fit to your actions, it could almost be like your own language. 

And you can’t understand it. Haseul almost smiled. What a shame. 

It is, he said, almost like he meant it. I do mean it. Not so I’d know your intentions, but because isn't it fascinating how the mind creates it’s own patterns to read? One only the individual can understand, but sounds foolish for everyone else? All while they have their own patterns?

Everyone else isn’t all of us, Haseul retorted. Then she pulled the rest of what she wanted to say—think back. She’d had this debate too many times and it’d gotten nowhere. The fae could barely help themselves when it came to that. 

On the contrary, his voice popped up again, self-control is something we aim to exercise. A pause. At least when I was there. 

And then you left. Haseul wondered if this would bring anything to the exchange. Maybe she'd almost be glad he was in her head. 

I left. There was a tiny shift in the pressure of her mind. Was he nodding? I am. 

Why leave?

What would you do if you knew of the pain of another? And where they would direct that pain? 

Haseul couldn’t help but frown. You can see into his head? 

Only some. It’s strangely like your mind, but even more shielded. 

That nagged at something in her head, but Haseul was too disoriented. 

We gave you a potion as well, one to make you more receptive to both my magic and the questions. From what I see, it’s more just made you confused. 

You’re not supposed to say that to me either. Haseul had never had an actual conversation with a mental fae. Unless they were tormenting her. 

Surprisingly, she felt a small flicker of anger in his voice. They exploited our magic. It’s not a weapon, but a tool. 

Everything can be a weapon, Haseul replied. Is that why you left? 

No response. 

Then the ache got stronger. 

Haseul gasped when it turned into a pain. Suddenly, she could see. 

And then she saw him. Through bars. He'd put her in a cage of darkness.

Even with immortality, he looked tired of age. His hair was auburn, but his eyes were black like Hyejoo’s were. They held no light, only what looked like a well-contained hatred. 

“Haseul,” Alluin said, kneeling down in front of her. “I’m told you didn’t come to kill me.” 

She didn’t reply. 

“Then as a spy?” he asked. “It would’ve been wiser to send one of the others. Someone without so many ties.” A pause. “And more reason to turn.”

“I didn’t come to join you,” Haseul said. 

“Good,” he said. “Then why come?” 

She shrugged, as best she could, still bound by the shadows. “I’m asking you not to attack.” 

His eyes flashed with anger. “You think I’d negotiate?”

“No.” 

Alluin’s expression didn’t change, but she had a feeling he was surprised. “One of the reasons you’re not any worse off is because Olivia only ever spoke highly of you. If at all.” 

Haseul made a mental note to thank Hyejoo for saving her life. At least at first. 

She spotted movement to the side then. A seemingly young man sat beside the cage. He had pale grey eyes and hair the colour of a cold sea. Those eyes were glazed over. The fairy. 

He smiled ever so slightly. 

“From what I know," Alluin began, "you had another vote.” 

Haseul fought the urge to curse the fairy. 

I haven’t said everything, but I will not lie to him. 

“And more chose the right thing,” Haseul said.

“You know there’s nothing to stop them from banishing those three." Alluin's lip curled. "Or all four from the camp. They’ll be waiting for a reason not to trust you.”

She couldn’t help but think of Chaewon, who would’ve been there with her had there not been the risk of marking the rest potential traitors. 

“And you want that to happen, don’t you?” Haseul asked. She watched the emotions travel across his face. Shock, then disgust, followed by rage. 

Don’t say that, the fairy told her. 

Haseul ignored him. 

“You’ve wanted them to come to you,” Haseul said. “Either that, or you’ve wanted them dead, because they’re the people who could actually fight you.” 

“I’ve fought longer than any of you have.”

“And you still tried to pick us off.” 

“We did.” Alluin’s expression was calm again. Almost frighteningly so.

Haseul felt a shift in the darkness, a deeper feeling that terrified her. It was also familiar. 

“Did you really think the stronger spirits were an accident?” Alluin asked. 

Haseul saw the people who’d been overcome with darkness, the people the healers had fought to save. 

“They were yours?” Haseul only knew of the spirits Hyejoo and Hyunjin had formed some sort of bond to. Then she pushed those thoughts down. 

“The first were,” he said. “I controlled them. They spread later, which was the shift you believed happened.” 

It slowly sank in. “You killed them?” Haseul could only remember the hollow look in Jiwoo’s eyes, one that hadn’t faded for years. Had she known when her father was in danger? 

“The pride of the Astra is easy to use. I found where they were and I sent them after them—forces they couldn’t fend off, but certainly tried to.” 

Haseul felt the anger in her rise. 

And then she got even colder. The ache stabbed into her chest. 

This is what he wants, the fairy said. Control yourself.

Haseul ground her teeth together. 

“I remember who looked away when they struck me with light,” Alluin said. “I remember those who hated me when the change came.” He leaned forward, the calm slipping. “I know who turned away from me. That included your family,” he said slowly. “All of them saw what happened. None of them ever told you what had happened. None regretted what they did, because it happened again.” He narrowed his eyes. “So don’t expect me to believe they’ve changed now, and that they’re not just terrified of facing me.”

Haseul almost spat at him. “And you expect me to think you’re much better?” Her anger was only drawing on the darkness more. She could feel it sinking into her, but that didn’t matter. 

Don’t, she heard in her mind. The fairy almost sounded desperate. Don’t keep pushing him. 

“You ordered the deaths of mortals. That’s why she left you,” Haseul said. “And then you sent recruiters to prey on their doubt. You wanted them to be scared enough that they’d think they could only turn to you. The ones you knew wouldn't obey, you give them darkness so they’d still do what you say.” Before she'd left with Vivi and Yeojin, she'd seen one of the witches who worked with him. 

Stop. There was a small pain in her mind. 

Anger flashed in Alluin’s eyes. Haseul could feel her shadow slowly being pulled at again. It felt like her feet were being yanked out from under her. 

But she needed to say it. 

NO YOU DON'T. The fairy was practically scrreaming in her head. 

She ignored him. 

“You want the deaths of people who didn’t even know you existed, people who were children—some not even born—when you were banished.” Haseul leaned forward as much as she could. “You told them the fire elf deserved to die when she wasn’t even there when they shunned you. You didn’t order her death because you wanted revenge, you did it because you knew she’d be strong enough to keep your followers at bay.” She thought of Jinsoul and Yerim, people who would’ve suffered so much if Jungeun had been gone. She thought of Jungeun’s father, who would’ve lost the last of his family. 

Then the grip on her shadow turned crushing. Haseul screamed. 

The pain wasn’t anything she was used to. It affected her entire body, without her knowing where the pain came from. 

“She’s more of a murderer than anyone here,” Alluin spat. “And it’s only because she fights for you, only because she doesn’t turn on you, that you’ve kept her around.” 

Haseul smiled. 

He narrowed his eyes. 

“He didn’t tell you?” Haseul nodded to the fairy, who was still silently shouting at her to stop. “I’d protect her with my life.” Hiding wouldn’t help. If Alluin wanted to know who her weakness was, the fairy would tell him. 

But you don’t need to provoke him. The fairy's thoughts almost sounded strained in her mind, as though he'd thought himself hoarse. 

I do, Haseul replied. And I will. “There are people who you want to hurt who don’t even deserve your revenge.“

“And the people who do?” 

She saw the flicker of pain in his eyes, one she'd seen in Hyejoo. 

“You don’t solve it by starting a war.” Haseul looked to the fairy. “Show him what I did after they banished her.” She let her mind go back to it. She still felt the anger she’d felt then. It was almost as strong as that day. 

Alluin held Haseul’s gaze, but his eyes were unfocused. His jaw tightened. “All that shows me is that you can’t turn on your people. Not fully.” 

“Because they don’t deserve it,” Haseul said. “Not even if they voted her out.” 

“The votes are an insult,” he hissed. “The elders always know what the rest want.”

“Not always,” she told him. “For you, for Hyejoo, the outcome was clear because they were terrified. We had another, when we knew the others had changed. No one knew what the outcome would be.” 

“But what convinced them was the one who'd still had the light,” the fairy finished. 

Alluin's eyes narrowed a fraction then. 

“And that they knew Hyejoo could be trusted.” Haseul risked looking at Alluin with something other than contempt or indifference. “She was away for a century, not several.” 

“Seven,” Alluin said, voice quiet. 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t know,” Haseul said. She meant it too. She couldn’t imagine pushing any mention of Hyejoo into obscurity. “You can do with me what you want, but you can’t attack us. You attack our people, even if you only go for your targets, we’d defend the people who wronged you.” She took a deep breath. “People would die, some of them ones who don’t deserve your rage, others who haven’t done anything to be hurt by the people here.” Even if there were others who’d been hurt by Jungeun’s actions. Jungeun would let them come, but not like this. 

The hold on Haseul’s shadow vanished. She fell back, warmth suddenly coursing through her again. The cold was still there, as was the unease, but she could breathe again. 

Then the bars of the cage melted into the ground, joining the darkness around her wrists and legs. It sent a surge of ice through her. 

Alluin stepped closer. 

Haseul wanted to move away. 

“Even after so many years, no Astran has looked past their pride.” He lifted a hand. There was a coil of darkness wrapping around it. “Not even you.” The darkness flowed into her eyes, blinding her again. She felt more seep into her skin. 

The cold was overwhelming again. 

“I know the light that you used,” Alluin said. “It was from the one who betrayed her first.” 

Haseul saw flashes of moments that weren’t from her life. Darkness taking over another, light being used as a weapon, before that too shattered. 

And then she was seeing memories that belonged to her. The first person she’d killed, a fairy who’d been without magic, only a spear. She’d impaled her on it. 

It went on, going from her worst spirit encounters, dredging up the terror from then. 

She saw the day she’d walked into a trap, laid by elves from below-ground. She’d been alone, held in their cave system for weeks until Sooyoung and Jiwoo had found her. She’d spent one night under the moon and the sun, before going back. She’d hunted down each one. 

Her vision was blurred when it cleared. Tears were pouring from her eyes. was raw from screaming. 

“How can you say anything about being better?” Alluin asked. “Not all of them wanted you trapped, did they?“ 

Haseul couldn’t speak. Even if the sobs hadn't stolen her voice, she couldn’t have said anything. 

She wasn’t like Jungeun. She could force down those memories easily. She didn’t ignore it, but she’d gone on years without remembering what she’d done. He'd brought them back.

“And some of those you protect have done even worse than that,” Alluin said. “Immortality breeds brutality, Haseul, and I know how few people would ever admit that, just as they never told you I existed.” He stood. ”If it's any comfort, I never planned to kill all of you.” 

Haseul’s mind ached. In the back of her mind, the memories continued to play. 

She watched as Alluin walked away. The cage grew around her again. The darkness holding her to the ground vanished, but her hands and feet were still bound. 

The fairy was still there. 

“Stay out of my head," Haseul choked out. She coughed. Her body still hurt. Even more so now. 

Or I’ll be the first you turn on? 

Haseul felt something in her crumple. “No,” she whispered. 

The voice in her head grew a bit softer. I already saw it. 

“And you’re still here?”

I’ve also done terrible things. 

Silence. 

Haseul curled into herself, letting her head rest on the cold earth. She looked for whatever light was still left from Chaewon. 

Alluin had destroyed all of it. Her mind was exposed. 

I won’t look any further, the fairy said. And he knows I will not take over your mind. 

And if he forces you?

He can’t. Just as he couldn’t force Olivia to kill that mortal. 

Haseul didn’t respond to that. She just closed her eyes, trying to fight whatever memories began bubbling up. 

It didn’t work. 

Even when her consciousness somehow managed to slip away, her dreams were filled with more memories. Her life had gone on for so long. 

She’d negotiated. She’d tried to help. She’d made trade deals. 

Everything. 

She’d also fought. 

And the darkness showed her all of it. 

_____

The body was fresh. The dagger hadn’t completely been absorbed. 

Gowon took a deep breath before she took it. Hatred flooded her mind along with an anger that might’ve burned had it not been so cold. 

She took it in, feeling how it immediately went to her heart and attacked the light there. It didn’t take any of it, only making everything heavier. And the hate lingered. 

She didn’t feel drained. Others did, but she hadn’t. If anything, she almost felt stronger.

For a moment, she looked at the body. She didn’t seem like much of an older woman. Definitely wealthy. 

She closed the woman’s eyes, now completely filled with darkness. She wouldn’t absorb much more than she had. She didn’t know what would happen if she took too much. 

Gowon went through the forest, already summoning a weapon. There were veins of darkness in the blade. 

Murder clung to a person. She’d learned that it didn’t matter if they’d regretted it or not, perhaps it was almost worse for them if they did. It left a trail too, one she could follow. 

Gowon started running, searching for them. Fae illusions didn’t hide your presence in the light or the dark. It was one reason they’d rarely fought the fae. The best advantage they usually had were their use of those illusions. Their deeper understanding of magic sometimes helped, but a fairy who knew how to make fire solidify still wouldn’t be a match for someone like Jungeun. 

The body hadn’t had any marks to say what their killer’s magic was. They could’ve been a mental fae, or just one who’d preferred to use the dagger instead of their magic. 

It didn’t matter which it would be. A mental fae wouldn’t be able to pierce her mind. The rest she’d just have to be prepared for. There was always a chance she wouldn’t be. 

There was nothing for an hour. 

And then she saw them, wreathed in the shadow of their act, as well as the bloodlust that’d joined it. 

In the next moment, she felt something bury itself in her gut. Metal. 

Immediately, she wrenched it out of herself and forced the light and shadow to coat her body and head. She dodged the next wave of metal sent her way. One struck her arm and bounced off. There hadn’t even been a crack in it, but she’d felt the force behind it. 

Gowon closed her eyes, delving into the shadows. She found theirs and ripped it away. 

She heard them scream. 

And then something slammed into her body. She felt bones break from the impact, but the armour she’d made still hadn’t broken. 

Gowon bound the shadow to her again, before binding that to the ground. 

They were sobbing. 

She let the armour fall away from her head, pushing the sheet of metal away, before heaving herself up from the ground. She pushed herself up, her entire chest protesting. Breathing was painful. She could’ve screamed then and there, but that would’ve just made it worse. 

Instead, she made some of the light she still had flow into her chest. It numbed some of the pain. 

She tightened her grip on their shadow. There was a cry. 

Gowon grit her teeth. She didn’t want to hear those things. That was just the cruelty she’d absorbed. It had to be. 

“He said you couldn’t use your magic,” she spat. An elf. Her eyes were wide and b with tears. Despite the pain, the fight was still there. 

Gowon added fear to the shadows, but joined it with some of the hate she’d taken. “I’ve lived with it for some years now.” She knelt down beside the elf and fastened some light to her neck. “Why did you kill that woman?” 

The elf’s eyes were fixed on hers. “She knew who we were,” she said. “Who Olivia was too.”

Just the name made her feel cold. Had Hyejoo known her? Sometimes mortals could become friends. It was always painful to lose them, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth knowing them. 

“She gave her a contract you know,” the elf continued. “To kill, except Olivia didn’t have the heart for it. She could kill one of ours just fine, but she couldn’t end an already short and soured life.” A sneer appeared. 

A part of Gowon was relieved Hyejoo hadn’t known the woman well. The other was reminded of what Alluin and his people did. She’d already seen it with the woman’s body, but this was the proper reminder. They’d wanted to turn Hyejoo into a murderer. 

“But you could,” Gowon said. “Because she’d tell your secret?” 

“Could’ve wiped her memory and be done with it,” she replied. “But she wanted to end someone’s life without any consequence beyond money.” Her scowl deepened. “You’re not taking pity on her, are you?”

“I don’t kill humans,” Gowon said. “All you have to do is pierce one organ, cut into the right place, or give them a disease.” She held a dagger up. “It’s easy.” She tightened the grip the darkness had on her. 

This time, the elf’s eyes left Gowon’s eyes to follow it. There was a flicker of uncertainty there. She hadn’t expected Gowon to be able to control the shadows. That meant she might still underestimate her. That was good. 

“When was the last time you were there?” Gowon asked

“You’re going to force the information out of me?” The provocation there, but her shadow held her doubt. She didn’t know if Gowon was going to. 

“No,” she said. “But you’ll tell me.” She pointed at her neck. “That won’t let you use your abilities.” She knew the elf had tried, but there was too much fatigue there. 

“And what’ll you do after?” the elf asked. “Kill me?” 

“Yes.” Gowon was disturbed at how easily the thought came, but she could feel the same cruelty within the elf. This wasn’t someone forced to kill. She wanted to do it and she accepted taking that lives of those who had no chance of surviving her. “And if you don’t tell me, I’ll just find the next one.” 

“You’d do that?” The elf’s eyes hardened. “You’d kill me when you have me trapped?” The confusion was clear, even through the bravado. 

“What did he tell you about me?” Gowon asked. “I’ve never met Alluin, so what could he even say?” There was a lot, but she didn't have to admit to that now. 

“You were weak,” she retorted. “Torn apart by guilt and would welcome death if someone offered it.” 

“Then why have I survived the two who were sent after me?” 

The elf frowned. “Two?”

Either that meant she hadn’t been in the camp recently, or Alluin hadn’t told them. She was starting to think it was the latter. Even Alluin couldn’t be so stupid as to underestimate her. He couldn’t be. 

“Torrin,” Gowon said. “And a vampire. Both dead now.” She pressed the blade to the elf’s neck. “But answer this, did you see the Astran prisoner?” 

Recognition flooded her eyes. “I can take you to her.” 

It answered her question. 

“Were you there?” Maybe she could find out what had happened. Haseul was still alive, but what had happened to make her lose the light she'd given her? What was happening now?

“We brought her there,” the elf replied. “Came right for us. Barely even put up a fight.” 

Gowon’s heart twisted. 

“She’s still alive.” 

Gowon pressed the blade down harder. 

“But Alluin took her,” Gowon said. “And what else?”

“The mental fae.” Her voice was tight. There was more fear. “I don’t know what else happened.” 

Gowon pulled the blade away, before she summoned another of pure darkness. “Do you even know what this feels like?” 

Her eyes were wide now as she looked at it. “I've held it.” 

“That’s not enough.” Gowon sank the blade into her side. 

The elf screamed again. The darkness spread quickly across her skin. Gowon watched it crawl up the veins of her arms and neck. It went straight for her heart. 

Gowon stopped it before it got there, but didn't take it back.

The elf was writhing around. The metal on the ground was shaking, but the elf hadn’t been able to call on it. Gowon still put more of her light into the restraints. She couldn't risk a sudden surge of magic. The metal stopped moving. 

“What I gave you would have taken over that woman's mind immediately,” Gowon said. “It was even more potent and she’d have never felt anything so terrible in her life.” She twisted the knife. "Am I right?"

A strained whine. She almost sounded like an animal. 

Gowon pulled the blade out and slowly drew the darkness away. She left a part around her wrist, before lifting it up. 

The elf’s breaths were strained. Whatever sobs did come left her coughing.

“Whatever revenge you do want to take on me, you’ll die because of it,” Gowon said. “And that death isn’t the quick one you give the others. It’s cold, heavy, and whenever you close your eyes, you’ll see whatever this brings to you.” She pulled the darkness back down to the elf’s wrist. “And killing mortals will just make it worse.” 

She stood, taking the rest of the darkness back. She left the light. 

Gowon turned away. 

“Kill me yourself,” the elf hissed. “You as good as left her for dead, the least you could—” She broke off in a sharp cry. 

Gowon turned around immediately.

Hyejoo stood above the elf, drawing a blade of metal out of her heart. One of the swords. 

Being in that place where whatever I do could mean that someone lives or dies, I hate it.

Hyejoo had once resisted killing as much as she could. She hated what it meant. 

What did that mean now? Gowon saw the way the darkness grew a little more around her. She felt a sting in her chest. 

“She didn’t deserve to live longer than that,” Hyejoo said, wiping the blade on the inside of her arm. “Serana killed mortals before even coming to Alluin.” The look in her eyes was distant. She hadn’t really wanted to kill her. 

“Or were you sparing her from that death?” Gowon asked. 

Hyejoo shook her head. “Look.” 

She did, only to see that as Serana convulsed, her eyes slowly filled with shadows. Gowon felt the moment she was gone. Whatever light had been in her before had disappeared. Destroyed. 

“But I thought—” Gowon began. 

“The blow to the heart left her vulnerable to being overcome. Even if it didn’t seem like so much,” Hyejoo said, sheathing the sword again. “She had enough of it in her that it didn’t take much more to push her over the edge.” Now she met her eyes. They were focused, but still with enough ice in them that Gowon almost looked away. “Why’re you out here?” 

She realised then what this meant. Hyejoo was here. She was going after Haseul. That meant the others would be there too. How they knew, she had no idea. It only meant that the chance of going back was low. Too low. 

“For when someone would go find her as well,” Gowon admitted. “I thought it would’ve been Jungeun, or Vivi and Yeojin.” Where were they? 

Hyejoo frowned. “That meant you were going to hunt down the others?” 

Would it matter if she told her? Was she even supposed to tell her? Would Hyejoo even stop her? Or just let it happen? Gowon almost didn’t want to know the answer to that. 

“I knew that you were going to kill someone,” Hyejoo said. “That’s why I came here.” She chewed on her lip, before releasing it. “And Yerim knows you’re going to go to him after.”

“How?” 

“How do you think?” Hyejoo’s brow rose. 

It hit her in the next moment. “She’s a seer as well?” How had she even handled that? The light alone had been a difficult adjustment. The sight itself was more of a burden than a gift. Gowon had seen that well enough with Jiwoo.

“Why’re you going to Alluin?” 

“I won’t be going to him,” Gowon said. She had to admit it. There was still the risk of this becoming an interrogation, but at least she wouldn’t be hiding the truth. “He’ll find me.” 

Six heartbeats passed. 

And then she felt the shadows start to twist, slipping away from their trees and towards Hyejoo. Gowon took a step back. 

“You’re making yourself bait?” Hyejoo’s eyes held a familiar fear. It was one of both dread and confusion. 

“He’s targeted me already,” Gowon replied. “If he comes himself, then you can access the camp more easily. Maybe Yerim could use the earth to get Haseul out and if there is a fight, he won’t be there.” 

“No.” The shadows returned to the trees. “Because he’ll try to kill you.” 

Most likely, Gowon thought. It was a frightening prospect. Her only real hope was that what light she did have could be some sort of defence. 

“You can’t do this,” Hyejoo said. “There’s another way. We storm the camp ourselves. It doesn’t matter who’s there and who isn’t. Jungeun, Yerim, and Hyunjin already went ahead, and I’ll be there. Yeojin and Vivi are somewhere too. Yerim knows where they are.” 

“Then go,” Gowon told her. “Let me try to do it this way.” 

“And let you die?” Anger flickered in her eyes. 

“I don’t have a death wish.”

“It doesn’t sound like it!” Hyejoo snapped. “He’ll kill you and if he hates you as much as he hates the others, then he’ll make it slower than Serana’s death would’ve been. It’ll be more painful than any other death at his hands.” 

Gowon didn’t want to hear this. She was close to walking away then and there. 

Then there was a strange sensation in the base of her chest. It was both tight and heavy at the same time. She felt a surge of worry then too, as well as frustration. It wasn’t hers. 

She looked down only to see the bond stretch its shattered ends in Hyejoo’s direction. 

She took a step back. She tried to pull it away too, but only succeeded in taking the darkest pieces. The sense of regret was poignant when it came to her. So was the hate, but it was different than the one Alluin had given his followers. Gowon wondered if it was because all of his hatred had always been directed outwards. 

“What’re you doing?” Hyejoo said. “Don’t try to take the pieces.” 

“You can see it?” 

“I couldn’t before,” she replied. “Only now.”

Gowon looked away. It was because she’d gone after them like this. What if she’d gone with the intent of sparing them? Properly? What if she’d tried to find the ones whose loyalty to Alluin came only through their fear of him and not their own cruelty? 

“I wanted to see it.” 

She looked up. Her eyes caught on the broken bond in the same moment. All the parts of it that might’ve been silver were tarnished. That darkness had come from her and not Hyejoo. “You’ll have wished you never did.” 

“Because I’ll remember?” Hyejoo asked. “Do you think I’d have forgotten?” 

“You could’ve had the fae subdue those memories,” Gowon said. “I might’ve, if I’d have ever hated you.” 

She almost missed it, but she saw Hyejoo wince. She wanted to ask what it was she’d said wrong. 

“Did you want to forget me?” Hyejoo asked. 

Gowon remembered Torrin’s offer then. He’d thought that what she’d wanted was to make Hyejoo forget what she’d done. Just as easily as mortals forgot their kind existed, Hyejoo could’ve been erased from her mind if Gowon asked the right fae. There would’ve always been a hole and dreams she wouldn’t have been able to understand, but the memories themselves wouldn’t have haunted her. 

“No,” Gowon said. “That would’ve made me even more of a coward.” She looked to Serana’s body. “I have to send her back.” She went over to it and started to carve into the earth. It was stained with blood and still lined with shadows. She placed one piece of moonlight and darkness into her hand. 

“Your message?” Hyejoo’s arms were crossed. Her brow was just short of furrowing. 

Gowon knew that expression. She looked away, knowing full well that her own homesickness was threatening to make itself known again. “He should already know it was me, but this’s the reminder.” 

“Why?” Hyejoo asked. 

“If he wants revenge, he’ll come faster, won’t he?”

“He’ll come with someone he can use against you.” 

Immediately, Gowon thought of the emotional fae. They were perfect for anyone with emotions far too strong for others to bear. They could draw out any suppressed feelings and make them feel as fresh as the day they’d first been felt. 

“I know.” It was one less threat to the rest of them. If Jungeun was at the camp then too, it’d be even better if Chaewon could somehow lure at least one away.

“We would’ve done this together before,” Hyejoo said then. 

The stab of homesickness had come anyway. Even worse than any slow surge of it, because the thought came from Hyejoo herself. 

“But we won’t,” Gowon got out, “you left to help Haseul. So did I.” She started to sing the rite. She’d done this in front of Hyejoo with Torrin. Others had watched, all torn between dread and pity for her. Hyejoo hadn’t had either. 

All was quiet, save for her singing. It was followed by the slow crumbling of the earth then when Serana started to sink into it. 

“You can’t fight him alone,” Hyejoo said. “He’ll destroy whatever light you summon and he’ll take the darkness you’ll try to use.” 

Gowon knew that. Of course she knew that. She almost said just that. 

“So take this.” Hyejoo unfastened the harness at her waist. Gowon realised then that there were two swords. Both of the swords. 

She watched as Hyejoo separated one sheath from the harness, before holding it out, hilt first. 

Gowon stared at the blade. Its hilt reflected the light still coming from her own skin. Polished.

“Maybe it’ll snap in the fight, but even the pieces of it could help you.” Hyejoo paused. “It might just be one more blow, but this could be the reason you come back if he takes your magic.” The sword rattled in the sheath when she lifted it a bit higher. “Take it.”

Gowon forced her hand to reach for it. 

Hyejoo pressed it into her hand. The leather felt all too familiar, even if she’d never wielded the sword herself. 

“Go—” she started. “Chaewon.” She met her eyes. Was Gowon imagining the flecks of light in them? “I’ll never forget what you did,” she said. “I wanted you to suffer just as much as I did for a long time.” Her breath stumbled for a moment. “And I wanted to be the reason for it.” 

Gowon didn’t let go of the sword. Neither did Hyejoo. She wanted to look away, but the shame made her hold Hyejoo’s gaze. 

“But seeing you made me realise that I never wanted to do that to you.” Hyejoo’s hand was trembling. 

Gowon held onto the sword a bit tighter. She could almost imagine she was steading her like she had before. Hyejoo had done the same for her. 

“I’m still angry,” she whispered. “When I think of what happened, I want someone to hurt like I did—I have made people feel what I did, I—” She broke off. 

Gowon didn’t need to feel the pain through the bond to know what Hyejoo felt. The ache in her chest strengthened, but it was nothing compared to the actual guilt itself. 

“I don’t hate you,” Hyejoo said, louder now. 

She nearly dropped the blade. 

“I never did.” She let go of the sword. “But this isn’t forgiveness.”

Gowon found her voice again. “It never has to be.” 

I don’t hate you. It had to be a lie, one she’d told herself to prevent that part of the darkness from getting stronger than it had to. 

“We’ll come find you,” Hyejoo said then. “When we have Haseul out, we’ll come to you.” 

“No you won’t,” Gowon shook her head, “you need Haseul safe.” 

“And what about you?” 

“I don’t know yet,” Gowon replied. 

Hyejoo’s brow furrowed. 

“I’m not Jiwoo, I don’t know what’ll happen or when.” 

“And that’s a good thing?” 

“No,” Gowon admitted. I’m scared I'll never see you again. “But it’s all I have.” A blind hope, but there was still hope, even if small. 

Hyejoo actually looked away this time. Gowon wondered if she’d said something wrong. 

I don’t hate you. Even if that was true, it could change easily. It was a fragile truth and no one could fault it for being that. 

But if Gowon could turn away now, those words still ringing in her head, what would that mean? 

“Get him to talk. It’ll buy you time.” Hyejoo had gone further away now. 

Gowon almost said she didn’t know if he’d even let her get that far. A part of her held that back. 

“If he thinks he has the chance” Hyejoo started, “he’s not like Jungeun.” 

Which meant he took his time. 

Gowon nodded once. 

“Try to survive.” Hyejoo had met her eyes again. “Until we get there.” 

She felt the weight on her chest grow. The ache was stronger too. 

Then Hyejoo was walking away. 

“Be careful,” Gowon whispered. 

She let out a small breath. “Just as long as you do.”

I’ll try. 

She turned around and followed 

A part of her wondered where the other two would go. Jiwoo would know she was gone, but so was Haseul. Who would they go to? There was no chance of sneaking in, not with the people Alluin had at his disposal. They needed as many people as possible to find Haseul in time and to get out of there. Gowon just had to hope Jiwoo would know what to do. She had to hope the moon would show her the right thing. 

It hadn’t always, but it would have to now. 

_____

Author's Note

You can scream at me in the comments if you want. I wanted to scream several times during this chapter. 

Also, hello again! This update has been a very difficult one and I think the same will apply to the next ones. This is only the first part of the 'finale' and at this point I don't even know how long the actual end will be, but believe me when I say this is the beginning of that. It's more than daunting, but I think the story's definitely coming to that point. Currently, I can tell you there have been parallels to past chapters and though I'm not always the best at them, I do plan for them to be some coming up as well!

So much happened and I was reorganising the events of this chapter so many times to make it fit. There was triplet line and their departure, Jungeun and Jinsoul's...however you would like to call that, everything happening with Vivi, Yeojin and Haseul (I'm really sorry for this), and Hyejoo and Chaewon. Heejin, Jiwoo and Sooyoung were the only ones who didn't bring me pain this chapter, which was impressive. However, the rest definitely made up for it on my end. 

Do let me know what you think!! I cannot make any guarantees on this next chapter, because I am very busy with uni, but I will try to keep writing when I can. 

I hope you're all doing well. These times have been very difficult and this chapter isn't exactly fitting to it, but look out for when the next update will be. 

Stay safe and I'll see you next chapter!!

Twitter: @hblake44

CC