Eight
Ironic Bind“I’ll be quick!”
As soon as the car occupied a parking space, Ricky unbuckled the seatbelt and dashed out of the car.
Hyun Ae blankly stared at Ricky’s disappearing figure into a mart. Hyun Ae had suggested that Ricky should go to the said mart because it was known for selling goods at a great value. To Hyun Ae's relief, the mart seemed relatively empty at the time, judging from the foot traffic at the entrance.
‘Which means the quicker it is to reach home,’ Hyun Ae thought.
She closed her eyes and released a huge, audible sigh, hoping that the burden that she had been feeling could also be relieved from her shoulders. Then, she stared solemnly at the sky through the car window. The clouds were dark at that time, signaling that rain was just around the corner.
Suddenly, she heard sounds of phone vibration. She instinctively reached for her totebag and searched for her phone. Upon touching the said device, she realized that the vibration did not come from her phone.
‘Is it from Ricky Oppa’s? Did he not bring it with him?’
She immediately unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for the car’s compartment below the steering wheel. She knew that Ricky always placed his phone there every time he drove. When Hyun Ae flipped the phone screen, it showed that there was an incoming call from ‘Mum’.
Hyun Ae hesitated. It was not her nature to unlock open others' phones without permission. Her partner’s included.
When Hyun Ae was still contemplating on whether to answer the call or not, the phone stopped vibrating. Somehow, she felt relieved at it. She deemed that it was better if Ricky was the one who answered the call from his mum.
Hyun Ae was about to place the phone back into the compartment when the phone vibrated again. It was another incoming call from ‘Mum’. Hyun Ae began to wonder if it was urgent.
Hyun Ae had decided to press the answer button, but then the vibration stopped.
‘I should tell Ricky Oppa to call his mum back,’ she thought, keeping her eyes trained on the entrance of the mart. ‘What’s taking him so long?’
The phone vibrated again for the third time, showing yet another incoming call from the same caller. But this time, it only vibrated shortly. Not long after, it was followed by a text message from ‘Mum’ that can be read from the lockscreen.
“Hyunnie, are you okay? It’s raining heavily at my place now, be careful.”
As soon as Hyun Ae read the text message, the rain started to pour outside the car. A few drizzles at first, but then it turned into a downpour.
Hyun Ae slightly flinched at the change of weather, more so at what Ricky’s mum was worried about. It was as if a premonition.
The phone vibrated, again, and it was from Ricky’s mum.
Hyun Ae made a final glance towards the mart’s entrance. After she gauged that Ricky was not coming out from the mart anytime soon, she pressed the ‘answer’ button.
She cleared before she politely greeted, “Annyeonghaseyo.”
At the same time, the caller on the other end also spoke, “Hyunnie-” the voice sounded like it belonged to a woman in her late 40s – it sounded warm, but at the same, worried.
“Oops, am I calling the right number?” the older woman asked. “But this is Hyunnie’s number though...” This time, the voice could be heard more distant.
Hyun Ae guessed that the caller had removed the phone from her ear and tried checking her phone screen.
“Yes, omonim, this Ricky Oppa’s phone,” Hyun Ae assured, trying to sound calm and collected. It was the first time she talked to her boyfriend’s mum, after all, so she wanted to deliver a good impression.
“’Ricky Oppa’? Who are you?”
“I’m Hyun Ae, Ricky Oppa’s girlfriend,” Hyun Ae politely introduced herself.
However, what came afterwards was never in Hyun Ae’s circle of expectations.
“‘Ricky Oppa’..? Am I really dialing the right number? This is Changhyun’s number though.”
Hyun Ae was slightly confused at what Ricky’s mum had uttered. However, she was quick to correct herself. “Yes, omonim. This is Changhyun’s phone. Yoo Changhyun.”
The other side could be heard releasing a relieved sigh. “Oh, I was so worried,” she chuckled. “Where is he?”
“He’s buying the flour right now.”
“I see, I see. By the way, he didn’t tell me that he’s got a girlfriend. Ey that kid, really,” Ricky’s mum tsk-ed. “What’s the name that you mentioned just now. ‘Ricky’?”
“Yes, omonim.”
“Such a Western name, I can’t even spell it properly if anyone asks me to write it down,” Ricky’s mum cackled. “Is it the pet name between you two?”
By this time, Hyun Ae’s face fell even more. Her right hand that was holding the phone trembled. Her lips slightly gaped, and her eyebrows were knitted with confusion.
‘...What?’
Despite being in a state of utter puzzlement, she croaked out an answer out of respect for the older woman, “Yes, yes.”
Ricky’s mum laughed again. “I see, that’s so sweet of you.” Then, she asked Hyun Ae for Ricky to call her back.
After the phone call ended, Hyun Ae was dazzled. The conversation that she had with Ricky’s mum kept echoing inside her head. ‘What does she mean by–’
Ricky’s phone blinked, showing a message. It was a message from the local authority that warned its people to be careful that night; the downpouring was forecasted to be continuing until the sunrise the next day.
Hyun Ae stared blankly at the preview of the text message. Her right hand that held Ricky’s phone was still trembling. She looked at the other hand; it was also shaking. She tried to calm the trembles down by clasping her hands together, but doing so, she accidentally unlocked Ricky’s phone.
To her surprise, it was properly unlocked.
It turned out that the phone did not require any passwords to unlock it.
The unlocking brought Hyun Ae to the phone’s homescreen.
The homescreen looked minimal, only showing a huge widget of the app ‘Notes’, and a few messaging and social media applications.
Even though Hyun Ae had seen Ricky’s lockscreen before, she never saw Ricky’s homescreen. In fact, she never held Ricky’s phone when it was unlocked. She deemed that a phone was like a person’s best friend. She would never ask to hold or explore another person’s phone, even though the other person was her partner.
Feeling bewildered at the situation, she instinctively pressed the power button to switch it off.
However, her eyes managed to catch a glimpse of something, and it made her click the power button again and swipe the phone screen to unlock it.
Her view immediately landed on the source of her curiosity. The ‘Notes’ app.
Being made a widget, the app was relatively larger than other apps’ icons, making it more noticeable than the rest.
However, it was not the size that caught her eyes.
It was the preview of the ‘Notes’ app.
Her right hand trembled even more that she had to hold the phone with her two hands. She brought her shaking right thumb to press the uppermost note.
What appeared in the note made her go speechless.
It was supposed to be our 981st day yesterday, Aeri-yah. Your fav number. I remember you wanted to do a special event for that day but it never came true.
Friday, 11th July 2014, 11:04 PM
Hyun Ae’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘11th July? That was yesterday.’
‘And who is Aeri?’
She immediately brought her thumb to the next note.
Come back to me, Aeri? Please? I miss you.
Wednesday, 9th July 2014, 11:31 PM
‘What’s this...?’ Hyun Ae felt like crying. Her eyes were welling up with tears. Still trying to convince herself that it was all lies, she clicked on the third note.
I will always be your Ricky. Your one and only Ricky. I promise.
Wednesday, 9th July 2014, 11:28 PM
Hyun Ae immediately threw the phone onto the driver’s seat. As she covered her face using her hands, a tear rolled down her cheek. Then, another. A few tears followed suit, and then it turned into a stream of tears.
As if reflecting the downpouring rain outside the car.
Hyun Ae let herself wallow from the discovery. The burden that she had been harbouring since the movie date seemed to be adding onto the sudden revelation as well.
After mentally reminding herself that Ricky would enter the car anytime soon, she tried to calm herself down. She breathed as deep as she could. Even though the breaths were short, she attempted to do it a few times. She was still sniffling, and her lean body was shaking to contain the feelings of dejection. Occasionally, Hyun Ae brought her right fist to hit her chest, trying to stop her from audibly crying and sobbing.
A few minutes later, after making sure that her breaths were getting stabler, she wiped tears from her eyes and cheeks. She flipped open the mirror in the car’s sun visor and took a look at her own face. She could see that her eyes were red, and her face slightly blushed.
Ricky’s phone was still in the driver’s seat, so she placed it back in the compartment below the steering wheel.
With her puffy eyes, she glanced at the mart’s entrance and could see Ricky’s figure running towards the car with his head down to avoid the rain. Hyun Ae chose to look outside the window on her right, away from the driver’s seat. She was thankful for the rain; at least, Ricky could focus more on driving, and that way, she could hide the puffiness on her face.
Soon after, Ricky entered the car. The rain could be heard splashing on the asphalt of the road before the sounds disappeared as Ricky slammed the door closed.
“Sorry for the long wait. Fuh, who thought it was a good idea that there was only one cashier manning the counter?” Ricky complained as he placed the bag of flour on the back seat.
Hyun Ae slowly gulped. Even though it felt heavy to talk to him in her current state, but she reminded herself to relay Ricky’s mum’s message.
Ricky was fixing his wet hair when she spoke in a low voice, “Your mum called just now.”
Hyun Ae felt thankful that she did not stutter.
“Ah, really? She called you?” Ricky nonchalantly replied.
“No, your phone. I’m sorry, I answered it because it was ringing four times.”
Hyun Ae could sense Ricky bending his body forward to take his phone from the compartment. She predicted that he would be unlocking it, pressing the call log icon to check the recent calls that were received, and placing a call to his mum.
Because that was what he usually did. He never delayed calling back his mum.
However, Ricky’s voice to call Mum never reached Hyun Ae’s ears.
Still keeping her face towards the window on her side, she glanced at Ricky through the corner of her eyes.
He could be seen frozen while looking at his phone.
All of the sudden, a feeling of stillness engulfed the car. The only sounds that could be heard were the whirs of the car engine and the pitter-patter of the rain.
Hyun Ae brought her eyes back onto the window. ‘Did he notice it?’
After a few minutes of suffocating silence, Ricky put the phone back into the compartment. Hyun Ae inwardly sighed. The fact that he was not placing a call to his mum right there and then showed that they were on the same page.
That Ricky could figure out why she stayed silent from the moment he entered the car.
“Uhm, wh-what did she say?” Ricky asked, referring to his mum.
Hyun Ae noticed the stutter.
“She was wondering where you were,” Hyun Ae paused. She realized that her tone was starting to waver as well. “It’s raining right now and she was just worried, that’s all.”
Ricky let out a short chuckle. It might be an attempt to lessen the tension in the car, but even Hyun Ae could tell that it was an awkward one.
“Well, it’s... Mum. Why must she be worried always? Haha, I’m a big person now.”
Hyun Ae did not feel like replying anymore, so she stayed silent at the remark.
The whole journey to Hyun Ae’s home felt like an eternity. Neither of them spoke.
How Hyun Ae wished that she could disappear from the car and get herself teleported to her home. She actually had thought of stomping out of the car before Ricky pulled out of the mart’s parking lot, but she was not up for the drama. Walking in the rain would also bring more harm than good, so she did not take up the option.
To be honest, she hated the stillness in the car. She kept clenching fists on her laps, trying to channel the tension to her hands. She made sure that the movement went unnoticed by Ricky, by hiding her hand with her skirt.
After around five minutes, they reached Hyun Ae’s apartment complex. Since it was raining, Ricky parked quite close to the apartment buildings, making it quicker for Hyun Ae to find shelter once she stepped out from the car later.
Hyun Ae felt a fleet of gratitude for the thought, but the anguish in her body refused to acknowledge the kind gesture.
For a further few minutes, neither of them spoke nor moved.
Usually, at the end of their dates, Hyun Ae never failed to give a farewell kiss on Ricky’s cheek. She always did it sincerely and warmly, along with a ‘Thank you for today, Oppa.’
That day, and that moment, was obviously different.
Hyun Ae slightly fidgeted in her seat, contemplating if she should do it that day or not.
If she did it like normal, she felt as if her dignity was torn into pieces, and mercilessly stepped onto. It felt painful.
On the other hand, if she followed her current feelings, she wanted to storm out of the car, leaving Ricky without any words or kisses.
This second option seemed more tempting, but Hyun Ae did not dismiss the fact that it would also look childish.
Trying to make the final decision, she inhaled a deep breath, before releasing a quiet, long sigh.
Then, she leaned in to Ricky.
She honestly did not want to do it. Her heart did not want it to happen. But her sane mind persuaded her that it was not wise to leave without the routine.
Instead of the usual warm kiss on his cheek, that night, it was just a short peck. She made sure that it was no longer than a second. Then, Hyun Ae mumbled a quiet ‘thanks’ before she gathered her bags, opened the car’s door, and rushed towards the nearest shelter. Without looking back, she formed steps towards the elevator of her apartment block.
*****
As soon as Hyun Ae got into her apartment unit, she angrily unslung her bags from her body. She left them scattered on her corridor’s floor. Even her shoes were left mindlessly on the corridor. She stomped towards the bathroom. One, to get showered because her clothes were wet due to the rain. Second, to calm herself down in the shower.
For she was still filled with fury.
When she undressed, she noticed that the shirt that she had been wearing the whole day read ‘Be Happy'.
‘‘Be happy’, my foot!’ Hyun Ae hurled the shirt into a laundry basket.
She stepped below the showerhead, twisted the shower knob to the highest speed, and let a large volume of water quickly hit her body.
It was as if to shower away the anger from her body, and the mess from her head.
She recalled the happening in the car. The phone call with Ricky's mum. The notes. The stillness in the car on the way home.
'And why must he stay quiet? Why didn't he say anything!?'
Hyun Ae had intended to get herself wallowed in a long shower, but it did not seem to help. She twisted the shower knob to switch it off. She went to the sink to brush her teeth. When she uncovered the toothpaste tube, the lid fell onto the floor, adding onto Hyun Ae’s frustration. ‘Urgh, whatever!’ She brushed her teeth in a rushed manner, and left the toothpaste tube uncovered.
She refused to pick the lid up.
She went out of the bathroom in just a towel. Her hair was wet from the shower, but she left it dangling over her shoulders. The water from her hair seeped onto the towel that covered her body. Some trickled on the corridor’s floor.
The sight of her belongings on the corridor floor hurt her eyes, but the wrench in her heart pained her more. It made her feet step through the mess. Hyun Ae headed straight into her bedroom, but she was stopped in her tracks when she noticed something in her dimly lit kitchen.
Her sight landed on the rack of clothes in her kitchen-living room. It was the laundry that she did in the morning. It was also the laundry that she had done while humming joyfully and looking forward to that day. She had promised to fold the clothes once she got back from her movie date with Ricky.
She hissed, ‘Do you think I have the time to attend to a chore!?’
Hyun Ae stomped into her bedroom, slamming the door in the process. She was aware that her neighbours might be bothered by the loud ‘bang’.
But would she care?
‘To hell with everything!’
[A / N]:
I love how raw Hyun Ae's feelings are in this chapter. I actually came up with it rather spontaneously, and I love the way it turned out. Let me know if there are better ways to portray it!
Oh, I might be on a hiatus in November, but hopefully, I could write up a chapter before November ends.
22 October 2021, 23:25 GMT+8
[29.10.2021]
I just finished looking at the previous chapters and made a few additions and changes. I'm having a brief hiatus soon, but I'll try my best to post at least a chapter before November ends.
I just finished looking at the previous chapters and made a few additions and changes. I'm having a brief hiatus soon, but I'll try my best to post at least a chapter before November ends.
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