____________________________________________________________________________________________________

BEAST – I Knew It

characters: Jade Horvejkul, Jay Park

minor characters: Nichkhun Horvejkul, Junho, Charlie

by Dorkazoid

“You still remember that?” I grinned from ear to ear, my heart fluttering happily knowing that Jay still remembers everything that happened before. Although I didn’t tell him to do that, he still remembers how it was hard for us back then. To date without Nichkhun knowing and catching us would have been the most difficult challenge I’ve ever had. It wasn’t easy being his younger sister, after all.

Jay gave me this heart-stopping grin and I almost forgot to breathe. “Of course, I do,” he answers, snaking his arms around my waist. “Why would I? After everything you’ve done just for me, I wouldn’t dare forget it. I mean when I said I was in love with you, Jade. I wasn’t kidding. I was serious about it. You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved this much and will ever love forever.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re too cheesy sometimes.”

“But you love it,” Jay insists with a pout. “I know you do, chubby bunny. If you don’t, why else are you still with me, right?”

I laughed. “You’re right, Mr. Know-It-All.”

Jay smiled. “Was it worth it?”

“What’s worth it?” I asked.

“Risking everything for me?” Jay wanted to know. It felt weird. One minute, he was being sweet to me and the next thing he does is that he starts asking me serious questions. Weird but I love it. I love everything about him. “Dating me even though your brother said not to? Even though Nichkhun said I don’t deserve you, you still came to me. I don’t know if I’ve given you everything. I don’t know if I deserve you well enough to be with you and have a happy ever after.”

It was sweet of him to think about that. Seriously, who wouldn’t love him? How could I not love him? How could my brother say no to us?

I gave him a smile, took both of his hands and placed it on my lap. Then I stared at him, eye to eye. “Jay, you mean everything to me,” I told him sincerely. “Call this a puppy love for all we know but I don’t care. I love you and you’re the only guy that makes me feel like this. You’re the only guy that I love and will forever love. Jay Park, you’re crazy and weird and my exact opposite, but I assure you. I won’t ever leave you. Never. Just promise me you won’t leave me, too.”

Jay broke into a childish giggle. “I love you, too.”

And then he kissed me and all I see were fireworks. I swear, I could hear Katy Perry’s Fireworkinside my head.

But September 8, 2009 came and all it did was bring me the most devastating news in my entire life. I knew it was too childish and immature for me to have my world revolve around Jay. I considered him my world, my everything and my life. I didn’t care about what other people think. I didn’t care if Nichkhun was against us dating. All I ever saw was him and only him.

But how could he just leave me behind? What about all the promises? What about all the things we did and promised for each other? Didn’t it mean something to him, too?

How could he just leave his group behind? Me? His career here in South Korea?

“Are you drunk?”

I glanced up, struggling to regain my balance. I feel like barfing. What was happening? Why is the world… spinning? Wait, what was that drink I had again? What the hell was that for? I swear it’s making my stomach churn like crazy. I shouldn’t have come. If only I knew I had such low tolerance for alcohol, at least I would’ve known better. My vision was a bit blurry but I could make out Nichkhun’s dark hair and overprotective tone of a voice.

So typical.

“What… Oh, hey brotha~” I slurred. I couldn’t even speak properly.

“Junho, where did you find her?” Nichkhun asks.

What was Junho doing anyway? And how did he find me?

“I found her at her friend’s party,” Junho answered. I tried to nudge on his rib but he dodged so easily. I didn’t want to create more ruckus having Junho tell my brother that I was trying to move ing on from Jay. It was just so… heartbreaking on how he could just leave me behind and never even try to contact me at least once or tell me he’s still alive. “I think I remember her name was Charlie Jung. She was drunk, dancing with a guy named Kwon Jiyong. Thanks to her drunk friend, I got the name out of .”

“Yah, Jade Horvejkul!”

I winced at his thunderous voice. Why does he sound so loud all of a sudden? And why are there some sorts of crumbling or churning close to me? “Why are you so loud…?” I trailed off, wincing and covering my ears with both of my hands. “Where are… we? . I think I peed a little.”

“Jade, why are you doing this?” Nichkhun grimaced. “What happened to you?”

I laughed. How could he ask me such ridiculous things? He knows! He knows why I’m like this. In fact, he was one of the reasons why I’m making my life a miserable hell. “Don’t act like you don’t know, oppa,” I spoke in a low voice. Hiccup!“It’s not like you don’t have a ing clue as to why I’m like this.”

“Jade, I’m your older brother,” he says. “You can’t use that language on me.”

“Shut up!” I yelled, throwing my arms everywhere. I couldn’t care less if I hit Junho or whoever’s near me. “Don’t act like you don’t know! I had to hide it from you or else you’re going to stop me from seeing him! Jay and I broke up, you happy? We broke up! The moment he left your group was that moment when he left, bringing my heart with him. Now I’m left with nothing. You get it? N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Are you happy now? You’re always so overprotective that you can’t even trust Jay! I love him, so what? I don’t care if you don’t like him. I love him! But now he’s gone! Gone, gone, gone! You can’t even shut the hell up with you wanting me to date Junho! I don’t like him! I love Jay! And I will always love Park Jaebeom.”

“Jade… I’m sorry…” Nichkhun trailed off, speechless. I couldn’t even see him. I was on the floor, sobbing my hearts out and watch as my heart broke to pieces. I can’t even control my tears. They just went out. I couldn’t even make out whether Nichkhun was truly sorry for what I’m feeling right now. “Jade, come on. Let me take you home. You can’t stay like this forever. Just because Jay left doesn’t mean you can’t start a new life. Come on, Jade. Get a grip. I need you back to who you were before this…”

“Yah, Jade Horvejkul!”

I was heavily immersed in the past when all of a sudden this cracking, loud voice brings me back to reality. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Looking around, my eyes immediately landed on my one and only brother, Nichkhun Horvejkul, who was talking towards me. Since when did he arrive? I didn’t even know he was coming.

“What are you doing here?” I wanted to know. I didn’t even tell him where I was. “How did you know about my whereabouts?”

Nichkhun rolled his eyes as if it wasn’t obvious enough. “I’m a member of 2PM, Jade,” he stated as if it was the most palpable thing in the world. “I’m supposed to know a lot. And besides, Junho keeps me updated. He’s like your manager, you know. He basically knows what happens or what happened to you. He’s like a GPS or a tracker. I can’t even understand how he does it. I think he really likes you, baby sister.”

I groaned. Not the Junho thing again. “Oppa…”

Nichkhun laughed, holding out his palms. “Fine, fine. I understand.”

“You still didn’t answer my question,” I told him. “How did you know where I was? And what are you, may I ask, doing here? I thought you’re doing your promotions or comeback practices or what? Junho told me last night that you’re busy preparing for your hot comeback. I bet Taec was all over his twitter or something, telling his fans to have their health checked.”

Nichkhun laughed. “I think you know him more than I do. Perhaps, you’re fit to be a 2PM member more than I do.”

“Please, he’s so predictable that I would know what he would do in the next five seconds,” I retorted, rolling my eyes. You see, I almost grew up with 2PM that I’ve known them my entire life. Since my brother is a part of them, I have considered them as my family, too. And with Jay being my boyfriend… well, that happened in the past. Ever since then, I have learned not to ever fall in love with a friend or someone close to my brother.

It’s the worst thing ever.

“When will the photo shoot start?” Nichkhun asked, glancing at his watch.

“You shouldn’t have come here if you’re going to bug me with the time,” I told him. “I don’t even know. All I was ever told was that the person I’m partnering up with this job is coming.”

“You don’t know the person?”

I shook my head.

“Didn’t you have a meeting beforehand?”

I shook my head.

“But I thought you’re out of the whole ‘not meeting with the partner’ thing,” Nichkhun cried, grimacing. “What’s with this all of a sudden?”

I sighed. “The offer was good and I couldn’t turn it down. Do you know how much I earn from this photo shoot? It’s bigger than you think it is. And besides, Charlie is my friend. She had offered me a lot of privileges than you could ever do to me if I accept this offer. Moreover, it’s not like it’s some censored photo shoot or whatever. We’re just going to be wearing some clothes from a popular label and pose. That’s all.”

“You trust her too much,” he says. “You trust people so much to the extent that you don’t even remember the rules you set for yourself.”

I groaned. “Ugh, just because this happened in the past doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again today. Don’t worry, oppa. I trust Charlie. She’s my friend. And just because you guys dated in the past and she dumped you for cheating behind her back doesn’t mean I’m basing my friendship with her on what you did.”

He scowled. “I didn’t cheat.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, right. I was there when she saw you, remember?”

It was true. At that moment, I felt so embarrassed having to be there, seeing my own brother cheating on his girlfriend. And to make matters worse, Charlie was my friend.

He groaned. “Fine. I give up.”

“Would you want to leave before she sees you or would you want to stay and ask for a second chance?” I knew him too much. Despite Charlie being a sister of Jessica Jung, Taecyeon’s girlfriend, and being labeled as an ice princess because of her cold personality, Charlie was the most loyal friend I’ve ever had. And I know my brother is still in love with her.

Nichkhun cleared his throat. “What are you talking about?”

I hated it when men act dumb. “I’m not stupid, okay? You lost someone precious and you’re too scared to take her back. You made a mistake once but you’re not denied of having the opportunity to make it right.”

“So, if Jay was here, would you go back to his arms if he wants you back?”

The question stung me. I wasn’t expecting it seeing as we were talking about him and Charlie. I’ve been avoiding that topic with my brother because I knew it would make things awkward between us. I wasn’t still over it but I’ve been acting as if I was. And damn, was I a good actress. I made everyone believe I was happy when in fact, I was dying every single day.

“Don’t change the topic,” I muttered quietly. “I wasn’t referring to him.”

“But you know that what you’re asking is similar to what happened to both of you, right?”

I held back the tears that were attempting to go out. “If you didn’t want to answer, at least you could’ve told me.”

“You still love him, don’t you?”

I glared at him. “Can you stop it? I thought you didn’t want the idea of having your own sister falling in love with your best friend. At least I didn’t interfere with your relationship with Charlie. Well, you really want to know? Fine. I still love him. I still do, oppa. And I can’t stop it. I can’t forget him. I tried but every time I see you or any of your friends just remind me of how he was back then. He was the guy I fell in love with and I still do.”

“Jade, I…” he trailed off, speechless. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to hear anything from him anyway.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you but the other lead is here.”

I glanced up, seeing Charlie with that worried look on her face. Although she had tried to mask it, it was pretty clear as day. I knew she heard but she didn’t want to intervene. That was something I had liked about her. She cares about the privacy of others.

Nichkhun turned around, recognizing that familiar voice he loved to hear every morning when he wakes up. That was when they were still together. Charlie glanced at him hard.

I brushed past my brother without even looking up. I was too mad at him to even hear out what he had said. I marched across the set and soon there were three makeup artists hovering around me. I was closing my eyes when I heard my brother’s voice.

“I know she still loves him,” he says.

The woman—whom I think is Charlie—laughed shortly. “Really? You do? You don’t even know what love is.”

“Not this again, Charlie. I apologized to you but you—”

“You never apologized,” she hissed. “You never did. I wanted you to apologize, to at least take me back and mean that you love me. But you never did. Maybe your sister was right. Maybe you’re a coward after all. If you denied yourself the love that you were going to have forever if you only knew what to do, then don’t deny your sister that. She’s not a young girl anymore.”

“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do with my own sister,” he snapped back. “Just because your father died as you were too selfish and you think you understand everything doesn’t mean you’re going to thrash others’ lives and start telling them what to do, too.”

Charlie was a rebel?

Just then, I heard a slap. I sat up and turned around. Those who were inside the room also witnessed the event.

“Sometimes, I wonder if Jade was really your sister or you’re just a lost, bastard of a soul.”

And with that, Charlie walked away, leaving Nichkhun dumbfounded. I shot my brother a look. Returning my gaze, he started shaking his head, looking like he regretted what he had said. Maybe—

“There he is! Hello, oppa! Will you please sign my shirt?”

Leaning back, I tried to see where that annoying voice was coming from. I swear, she looked like she saw someone important. Charlie never said mentioned having a celebrity as her partner. Maybe the offer wasn’t so bad, after all. I closed my eyes and let the makeup artists do the work. I wanted to rest even for a bit, erase what I was thinking earlier and just… relax.

Few minutes later, they woke me up and told me to proceed to the waiting room as the crew finishes up the set. Ten minutes and we’re going to have the photo shoot.

Only I didn’t exactly like what I found in the waiting room.

“Hey, chubby bunny.”

I held my breath, not expecting to see him after all these years. What was he doing back in Korea? How come I didn’t know…? Well, it’s not like I was actually trying not to move on from him. But… he looks so good. In fact, he still looks like the same guy I fell in love with only he looks, er, happier.

I remember how he used to call me chubby bunny every single day. I remember how I hated it at first but when he calls me that, I don’t even mind.

“Um, hey,” I replied awkwardly. “What, um, are you doing here?” Was he here to see me?

He smiled. “I came here for the photo shoot.”

Great. I was so stupid thinking that he actually came here for me when he came for the… wait, what? Photo shoot? Does that mean he’s…? “You’re the guy I’ll be having the photo shoot with?” I asked, completely taken aback. Was Charlie trying to set me up with him the entire time?

Realization dawned on him. “What… you’re…? But how? I thought… that Charlie better have some explanation to do.”

It was like he didn’t even like the idea of having to do it with me. Ouch.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” I stated coldly. I knew I should’ve moved on. Dated Junho or something just to erase him from my life. He doesn’t even look sad. He doesn’t even understand what I feel. “But if you like, I would ask Charlie to replace me with someone else if you dislike the idea of doing this with me.”

“I didn’t say that,” he defended.

“That’s not what your eyes are saying,” I told him.

“Really, Jade, that’s not what I was trying to imply…”

“You don’t have to explain,” I cut him off. “It’s not like I still matter to you, right?”

“You still do?” I scoffed in disbelief. “That’s actually kind of hard to believe. It’s nice to see you but I think the photo shoot will be postponed until they can find a replacement. I’m out of here. See you around, Park Jaebeom.”

“Jade, I missed you,” he muttered quietly but it was loud enough for me to hear it. “I couldn’t keep it any longer but I do. I really miss you. You don’t know how much I’ve suffered all those years without you. I know I owe you a lot of explanation right now but I can’t just… I’m at loss for words. You’re still pretty as ever. When I saw you outside, I thought I was hallucinating. You completely mesmerize me. Jade, I never stopped loving you. If only knew how much I wanted to not go and leave you…”

“Then why did you?” I wanted to know, my voice breaking.

“I had to,” he continued. I didn’t even realize how close he was to me now. He took my hands and squeezed them. “I was hurting you too much and the others, too. I didn’t like the way I was treated by the other people but what I hated the most is seeing you and my friends get hurt about what I had done. I didn’t know what I was doing back then. I was too selfish, only thinking about myself. And I didn’t want Nichkhun to hate me and get mad at you for dating me. My life was hell back then.

“So I left. It took every ounce of my courage for me to leave you. I never stopped loving you, Jade,” he says, teary-eyed. “And I never will. I love you and I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.”

He closed the gap between us, wrapping his strong arms around me. I tightened the hug and buried my face in his chest. I didn’t care if the makeup got ruined. All that matters was that he was back. Jay is back.

He cupped my face with both of his hands and leaned closer. “I love you, Jade Horvejkul. I love you so chubby much.”

Say hi to the two new writers, jwhong005 & AKApop! And you can request, okay? Don't be scared. I know you want to /le winks/