"I-im sorry umji-yah . I'm aware of your feelings .." I look up to watch the stars in the sky as I listen to the girl sitting beside me at one of the bench here at the playground in this cold night...

I already told her my feelings.. I finally did .. after all the sleep less nights i'd finally got the courage to confess to her my feelings .. "but .. I don't feel the same yewon-ah .. I like you but as a best friend only .. I can't love you more than t-that ..I don't want to hurt your feelings but I just want to be honest to you " she said with a hint of sadness and relief in her voice ..

It's funny that I am the one who confessed my feelings but she's more anxious and nervous than I am .. I already expected it .. I  knew she can't give me more than what she's already giving ...

"It's because of yerin unnie.. am I right ?" I ask her though I already knew the answer .. it's obvious anyway . Everyone knows - everyone but yerin..

"U-umji-yah " she called my name rather than answering my question ..but I took it as a yes.

I bring back my gaze to her and I saw how worried she is right now .. I feel happy knowing that she  choose to be honest to me instead of lying just for the sake of our friendship . 

I gave her my genuine smile " I like you . Yes . But I'm not expecting nor hoping for you to reciprocate my feelings .. I just want you to know what I feel for you because I don't want to hide anything from you anymore - we are best friend after all .. I knew how much you like yerin unnie - you're not even subtle about it .." I chuckle when she blush just hearing yerin unnie's name - she's whipped .

"Honestly ..it hurts "

"Yewon~" I gesture her to stop talking and just listen to me ..

"It hurts .. but.. you don't have to worry about it eunbi-yah .. I'm not expecting anything from you .. and i've decided to tell you my feelings because I'm now ready to move on to this feelings .. I'm now ready to let go because I've already long accepted the fact that you will never love me the way I love you .. and I know that I did the right thing - telling you first before letting go with this feelings is the right thing for me .." I said ..

"I'm sorry yewon "

"Dont be .. Im doing this not for you but for myself .. I don't regret loving you though and I'm sure someday I will love someone more than how much I love  you .."

"Letting me go means youre now willing to give chances to someone " she said as I saw her eyes sparkle .. I don't what's running on her mind but im sure she's thinking of something..

I nodded "bingo "

She smirks at me as she give me a playful punch " then good luck Kim yewon "

"Good luck to you too hwang eunbi"

---------++

I let out a few sighed while walking back to our apartment .. sinb told me that yerin unnie invited her to eat dinner together so I need to go back to our apartment alone ..

I feel so drained and exhausted after that talked - or maybe it's just my heart that is feeling drained and exhausted ..

I'd be lying if I say that I'm not affected and disappointed from the outcome of my confession .. no one knows how much I wanted her to stop talking so I can go home already and spend my night at my bed crying .. you can't blame me ; I'm in love with her since our trainee days so you can't just expect me to not get affected by her blatant rejection ..    

It hurts .. though I'm smiling infront of her but deep inside I'd felt like my heart shattered into pieces the moment she said sorry ...  I want to give myself a top in the back for doing a good job for not crying infront of her .. I tried hard to prevent my tears from falling ; I don't want her to pity me or to feel guilty ..

But the moment she turned her back from me to go to yerin unnie my tears starts falling that I had to turned my back to the opposite side immediately just in case she will look back ..

I'm afraid and I can't deny that .. I don't know why but I can feel the fear enveloping my heart .. I'm afraid to be alone .. I said that I am now ready to move on but honestly I'm afraid and lost ..      

I wipe my tears as I stepped into the house .. all I want to do now is to run to my room and cry my hheart out until this pain go- but I stop walking as soon as I reach the living room ..

The light is off but the light from the moon coming throug