Part Four

“Sooo, how was he?” came Jonghyun’s stupid question. Stupid because it was one date, why would I have slept with him already? I’m not Taemin. Also stupid because even if I had, I am enough of a gentleman to not go and discuss it over the school’s lunch table as if it was some sort of game. Which is exactly what I tried explaining but only received a more idiotic response, “Ooooooh, you’ve really got a crush on him, huh? Protecting him so much right from the start. He’s special, isn’t he?” I could only shake my head in dissaproval at his idiotic grin on the face.

What? Because I’m a decent human being? I think that just makes me a good person, not in love.

“Think whatever you want,” I answer, paying more attention to my food now, I find there’s no reason why I should have to explain myself.

Yes, I took a really cute boy by the name of Kim Jongin out for ice cream, but that’s about it. He was cute that day, but as I see him around in the hallways I notice he really doesn’t resemble Taemin much. I mean, if he does his hair a certain way and turns his head in just the right direction, sure, but otherwise he has his own distinct look to him that’s just not as cute. I mean- that’s not to say he’s only cute because he looks like Taemin! I did not just go out with him because they look alike! I don’t want to have another Taemin, trust me. Dealing with that ball of mess was enough just once.

No, Kim Jongin was a very attractive boy, even when he wasn’t looking like Taemin.

I suppose I’ve been quite for a tad too long because Jongg continues poking on the matter, “Aww, look at you sulk silently,” he teases, but I’m not sulking, “if you miss him that much, ask him to date you,” 

Jongin was attractive, cute at times, and nice. We had a pretty good time on that date three days ago. But, I had been on plenty of dates for the past year with plenty of great girls and guys too. If I wanted to actually tie the knot and ask someone to be my partner, they can’t just be great, they have to be perfect. I’ve always thought like this, otherwise they can remain as friends. 

I’ve only met one person like that, one person that within our first meeting I knew I couldn’t go another second without knowing they were mine. Naturally, that person doesn’t exist anymore, the body is sitting right in front of me at this lunch table, but inside? That boy is gone. Instead it has been occupied with a bratty, smart-, cocky boy that I am more than glad to not be dating anymore.

The point was- Jongin was not someone I felt I had to have. I only asked him out because Taemin was there, listening, as if he was incredibly curious about the turnout;  the cute scrunch of his face and the light fire in his pretty little eyes (that I hate) that arises when he gets upset was evident when I asked Jongin out. Let’s make one thing clear- I was not trying to make him jealous. I just wanted to confirm that he was jealous. 

You can go out on a date to make someone jealous, sure. But you can’t date someone to make someone else jealous, that’s just rude.

If that day wasn’t enough proof, right now had to be. Yet again, his face was scrunching up and though I couldn’t see his eyes as he had his face turned from mine, I could just imagine the look they held.

You can’t date someone to make someone else jealous. I try to remind myself of my morals.

“Maybe we just need a couple more dates first,” I reply and I’m not even hiding my smirk nor the fact that I’m staring directly at Taemin now. His fingers are pale white as they clench around his carton of milk so strongly that the liquid bursts out, making a mess.

“, Taemin! Here, let me help,” Key’s quick to start wiping the table and Taemin’s shirt. 

Ahhh, just one more date won’t hurt, right?

“Let’s work on our project after school,” as he demanded this, Taemin was leaning to one foot, arms crossed as he looked away from me. He had a total prince aura around him that I just wanted to slap the away.

Didn’t he get tired that everything that came out of his mouth sounded like an order? What made him so great to be so freaking conceited.

“I can’t I have a date after school,” I ignore getting angry over his attitude and instead reply disinterested.

“Then what? You expect me to continue doing this whole project by myself?” Now he was looking at me, and he seemed angry. But, let me just remind everyone once again- that wasn’t my fault!

“Then we can do it after, let’s say, I don’t know, 8?” I urge, just waiting for the hypocrite to call back out how he’s busy himself at 8. I can’t go on a date, but he can?

“I already told you after 8 doesn’t work for me,” his tone is still bratty, but much less so.

“Why can you go yourself around, but I can’t have one proper date. How come you’re more important!” 

“You playing around with a cute guy all afternoon doesn’t compare! I have actual things to do!”

“You never make time for me! Do I have to just sit around and wait for you!?” We were both yelling now and while that wasn’t uncommon, this level was. Yeah, we often bicker at each other if we ever talk, but this was taking it to a different level. It wasn’t useless bickers, it was actual pent up feelings,suddenly it felt like our endless strings of fights up until we broke up.

    “I have dreams, why can’t you understand that!”

    “I have dreams too, but I’d put you above them any day because the most important thing to me is that we’re together, why can’t that be the same for you!”

    “I want that too! But why can’t I practice and hope that maybe both will work out!”

    “You never have time for me anymore! You’ve become a nightmare!”

    “Do you think I enjoy being with you? I dread the minute I have to meet you!”

    “Do you mean that?”

    “I- I just mean-”

    “Then let’s break up. You don’t have to dread seeing my face any longer.”

Even Taemin must have realized it, because his face wasn’t angry anymore. It just stared at me in shock. I was shocked too. Why are those feelings still inside of me?

“We can’t be friends anymore,” My voice was completely calm now, but I felt destroyed. 

Breaking up with Taemin was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and realizing that we can’t even be friends either hurts just as much.

Are we such a terrible pairing that we can’t even be friends? I guess when god created soulmates he also made the opposite of that. I must be Taemin’s.

“W-we can work at 8. It’s fine,” his voice was a bit weak and that was the first time I had heard it like that in a long time.

“That doesn’t change this, we can’t be friends.”

“It’s just a small schedule conflict, we can pick another day, it’s not like you’ll be going out everyday-” Taemin tried to fix the problem and maybe the project one could be fixed, but not the real one.

“Why are you so opposed to this? It’s not even like we’re the real definition of friends right now either. We hardly talk, even when we have the same group of friends, and when we do it’s only to bully the other. So why does it matter anyway?” 

Honestly, I could ask myself the same thing. Why does it hurt me just the same?

His eyes shifted as he thought about it, but they only wavered for a split-second before they stared right back up at mine, full attitude back in place. Was it possible for a single look to have so much authority?

“That’s right, you idiot,” he began- and is that disgust I see on his face? “We’re not even friends, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did you think something else?” I roll my eyes, his attitude making me want to throw up.

“You wish, I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like you in a million years.”

“Great, then we can stop talking about friendships that don’t exist. We have to work on this project, so let’s just focus on that. So, I repeat, we’re working on it after school.” 

He didn’t even give me time to respond before he strutted out the door.

I can’t believe this. Who does that pretty little prince think he is?

A/N:

Still... supposed to be working on hw and still not doing it. I'm soooo going to be ed tomorrow ^^