Part Sixteen

An explanation didn’t manage to exit his mouth, before I knew it my fist had come forward to punch Jonghyun in the face. The sound of his body hitting the floor mixed with the cracking of either my fist or his face made my adrenaline stop. Was it that or the gasp I heard coming from my left? I didn’t miss the worried and shocked look on Taemin’s face as his hands flew to cover his mouth. 

He made a move to kneel down, but stopped himself. Good choice. Because I myself don’t know what I would have done if he ran to Jonghyun's rescue.

Nobody moved. Jonghyun stayed there, looking down, as if waiting for more to come. But that’s not what I wanted. That means it’s true. I wanted him to get up and punch me back, to call me out for believing such insane rumors, to tell me it’s not true. 

My best friend?

There’s no way this can be true because my best friend wouldn’t do this to me. Jonghyun wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t dare even touch the arm of the one person I’ve loved for the past three years. He was the one I’ve talked to from beginning to end. He knew everything. The pain of thinking Taemin and me would be just friends forever. My happiness after our first date. The one I vented to whenever Taemin was too busy for me, the one I shared all my worries about when I realized Taemin stopped loving me. The one who stayed by my side for the whole month after I broke up with Taemin because there’s no way I would have survived by myself. The same guy that saw me go through all this… he wouldn’t do this to me. Not this. 

So why was we just laying there? Why wasn’t he getting up and telling me it wasn’t true?!

I made a move to kick him, but stopped as soon as I heard the frightened voice to my left.

“Minho, stop! You said you trusted and loved me! Don’t you know that’s not true if you act like this right now!”

I was thankful that he did stop me, even if he looked surprised that I actually did so, as I disregarded Jonghyun, and instead walked towards Taemin. Yes. This was exactly it. The moment he stops me and tells me what the hell is going on. The moment he yells at me, hits me, calls me an idiot and gets mad at me for having believed this for even a minute. Then I just have to scold myslef for being so stupid once again and find the best way to cheer Taemin up and get him to forgive him. That’s what needs to happen right now.

So why wasn’t he saying anything? Why were his eyes filled with guilt?

“Right?” I whispered out, giving him my best smile, despite the pain in my eyes. “These aren’t real. They’re not real because you wouldn’t do that. Out of all the people you can go around and sleep with, you wouldn’t get with the one person that’s off limits. I said I love and trust you  and I meant it, so hurry up and tell me those pictures are wrong.” I was looking straight into his eyes, begging him to do what I asked, but he wouldn’t. Why won’t he?

“Minho,” 

“Hurry up. Whether it’s photoshop or look alikes or whatever other crazy, messed up situation this can be, you don’t have to explain it. Just tell me that’s not you and my best friend. I’ll believe you. Even if no one else will.”

“Hyung, let me explain, let’s calm down and go-” 

“I don’t need it. I don’t need an explanation, Tae. I don’t care. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s not true, you don’t have to waste your breath explaining why. Just tell me it’s not true.” I came closer to him, wrapping my arm around his waist to pull him in closer. Why couldn’t he just say those three words? That it wasn’t true? 

Except, suddenly the same shy eyes that kept avoiding my gaze turned to look at me directly, confidently, as he stepped away from me.

“3/10.” His voice was unwavering and I wondered what the hell was happening right now.

“What?” 

“When Jonghyun kissed me, I rate it 3/10. It was bland, his lips were chapped, and his tongue moved awkwardly. Still, since he’s extremely good looking I have to give him some points.” 

Is he- did he lose his mind?

“What the are you saying?” 

“I’m saying you can rest assured I’ll never kiss him again, considering how badly he is at it.”

“Is that really all you have to say? That he’s a bad kisser?”

“Do you want more details?”

“I want you to ing tell me it’s not true!” I had been trying my hardest not to lash out, not at Taemin, because when he finally did tell me it wasn’t true, I didn’t want to anger him, but this was going too far. Does he even care about me?

“Well, that’s the one thing I can’t do because it is! And there’s no excuse I could give you because even I know nothing can explain it. I can’t speak for Jonghyun, but at least from my side I knew what I was doing. I was aware of everything. I was aware that he’s your best friend, that he’s the one guy you really could never stand to see me with and that if I kissed him you’d really lose your mind. I knew that and I kissed him, so I’m sorry, but I don’t have an excuse for you!” 

It really was true. It really was. 

What was I supposed to do now? 

Bullying each other, hating each other, I knew that Taemin and I could really hurt each other, but I always thought there was an unspoken line. The line that we knew not to cross because we’d never want to truly harm the other. Was it just me that had that? 

But more than anything who the hell was he to yell at me right now? He fully knows the situation, but still dares to yell? What did he have to be angry at?

“That’s your excuse? That you had no excuse? that, Taemin. that and you. Jonghyun, and you know what? While we’re at it, why don’t you go Jonghyun too? I’m out of here,” I really didn’t have anything else left to say. That I was disappointed? That I was hurt? That this is something I really couldn’t see myself forgiving? I didn’t need to say it because he knew, they both knew and they should have known before the stupid kiss ever happened in the first place. So what else could I do except turn around and walk away?

Except hearing Taemin speak up again, I had to stop. I had to stop and scoff in disbelief. “If I Jonghyun I’d be cheating on you, and though I’ve done some bad things, I’m not a cheater.” 

Was he ing serious right now?

“Well then today’s your lucky day, Taemin! You can go Jonghyun and whoever else you want without feeling like a cheater because we’re over!” I thought that much was obvious, but I guess I had to actually say it.

“No we’re not! I don’t want to. I won’t! Who gave you permission to break up with me?!”

“Excuse me? Did you hit your head somewhere? This isn’t up for discussion, Taemin.” I couldn’t help but walk closer, maybe I was missing the hidden cameras because there is no way he was actually serious right now. 

“You did worse. You hurt me much worse than one stupid kiss with Jonghyun could ever hurt you.” The fact that he had teary eyes was supposed to make me feel bad? For what? He was insane if he believed in the words he had just spoken.

“You really are a psycho, huh? What did I do Taemin, what the did I do to you?! I dare you to tell me!” I messed up many times, but never, ever, was it something to this degree, so what could he possibly say for himself?

“You broke up with me!” I was fully expecting him to yell, but not to come closer and punch my chest. Even if his response is completely outrageous, the pain in his voice did strike me in the heart. 

“Our first break up is a different story-”

“You broke up with me, you jerk! That’s worse than anything I could do to you, because not being together is the worst thing that could happen to us! We had problems, yes, but you didn’t try working them out, you didn’t try solving anything, you just broke up with me like I meant nothing! And look at you once again trying to do the same thing! Well I won’t let you, you bastard! You’re not breaking up with me! I won’t let you! Just who gave you the right to decide these things on your own! We both have to agree to start dating so we both have to agree to break up and I don’t agree!”

Taemin is crazy. I want to say he’s insane, but hearing his words I can’t help but actually feel guilty. He was completely crazy, but he was right. I just broke up with him. I didn’t try to talk, I didn’t solve anything, when things got hard, I broke up with him. I just left. 

And here we are again, two years later, when things are rough again and my answer is the same. 

He’s absolutely right, but this isn’t just a tough situation. This is something I can’t imagine getting over. Jonghyun was my best friend.

“KIM JONGHYUN, TAEMIN. My best friend! It’s not just about who he is to me, it’s that you knew how much that would hurt me and still did it!” Does he really not understand that?

“You’re mistaken if you think the worst thing I’ve done to you is kiss Jonghyun.”

“Excuse me?”

“The worst thing you ever did was breaking up with me, but the worst thing I ever did is let you do it. I shouldn’t have agreed. I should have clung onto you no matter what, but I didn’t. If you had doubts, I should have been stronger for the both of us and I wasn’t. For that, even though it’s two years late, I’m sorry. But I won’t make that mistake again. Even if you do, I won’t.”

Looking into his eyes I could tell he meant it. Hearing the words also made my heart feel...reassured. But I was done talking about this. Thinking about it.

“Do whatever you want, think whatever you want, I’m out,”

A/N:

You guys don't know how hard it was continuing the last chapter............ but at last, here we are!

Please let me know what you think~