Moon Bin gathered as much speed as he could as he ran past the bridge, where he was running at such a fast pace that his surroundings became a blur. When he thought he must have covered enough distance, he slowed his speed and placed his palms on the railing, heaving profusely to gain his breath. Damn it! he thought, he was still at the river. Memories of agony washed into his mind like a wave and he gripped the railings even harder in an effort to pause it, stop it, to run away from it. But they came back with fuller force until he was gasping from the pain, struggling for air.

A hand rested on his left shoulder. When he looked, Yoo Bin was heaving heavily as well, his other hand leaning on his knees as he panted. “W-why did you r-run so fast?” he said brokenly, gasping in between words. “I don’t t-think I’ve run so fast in my life!” Moon Bin jerked his shoulder away from his hand, turning away, but Yoo Bin held him back. “Wait! Moon Bin, hear me out! Please! I tried so hard to get to you, I’m sorry I had to use your friend to do so but that is the only way!” Yoo Bin pleaded.

“Please let go,” Moon Bin said, sounding equally as desperate.

But Yoo Bin held on even tighter, as if afraid that Moon Bin would start running again if he had let go. “No, I’m not leaving now that I’ve finally got you here. Look, I wanted to set things right with you. I know you’ve been suffering from a trauma after… after what happened to me, but I just wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault! It—it was a foolish act of mine to do so and I’m sorry that I did it—”

Moon Bin turned now, facing Yoo Bin face to face for what felt like the first time in ten years. “Sorry?” he questioned, unable to stop his outburst. “Do you know how I felt when I stepped on that stage without you, when they called my name and not yours? I’ve always imagined a future with you standing beside me on stage, fulfilling both of our dreams together! I told myself I wouldn’t debut without you! I couldn’t go up there because I knew that while you were smiling, you were actually breaking up inside. I wanted us to go through the failure and the success together! How did you think I felt when I heard that you tried to jump off that very same bridge at Yeouido Park? When I saw you lying unconscious in that hospital bed?” At this point he couldn’t control the sorrow that accumulated and tears fell as thick, crystal beads down his cheeks. “I thought that it was all my fault! My fault that I went on stage without you! My fault that I debuted and you didn’t! My fault that I wasn’t there when you tried to jump off the bridge—”

He broke off because Yoo Bin proceeded to give him a hug. “I know,” Yoo Bin said as he patted him on the back, and Moon Bin knew he was crying too. “I’m sorry.” And there was nothing else that Moon Bin could do but cry on his shoulder.

Afterwards when the both of them had calmed down, Moon Bin had pealed himself off Yoo Bin’s shoulder and looked to the river, refusing to engage in any conversation for what felt like a whole full hour. The fact that he hadn’t tried to run away again, however, was a good sign. Now that Yoo Bin was no longer running, the December cold was biting into his skin and he dipped his fists into his pockets for some warmth. Not that Moon Bin seemed to mind the cold at all; both of his palms were gripping onto the icy metal railing until his knuckles turned white, but Moon Bin made no move to remove them.

“I’m sorry,” Moon Bin said finally, breaking the stiff silence. His voice came out slightly hoarse, as if all that earlier shouting had grated his throat. He still wasn’t looking at Yoo Bin, though. “We finally got a chance to talk to each other, I can’t believe I shouted at you the moment I saw you. It’s just… when I thought you died, something in me wilted. I couldn’t look at the world the same way I did before; I started living my life thinking I didn’t deserve anything; every single day I feel like it’s getting harder to breathe. And when you appeared in front of me, all the memories came crushing down like weights on me, and I can’t control it.” He had his face in his palms now, the a