"This company has lost all sanity, thinking you can kick me out of a group when I have given this company half of my life." Nayeon says angrily to the board members and JYP himself at the private meeting he had arranged with her about the current controversy at hand. 

 

The company had already carried out a meeting with Jinyoung, but with double standards being obvious, he was basically let off easy compared to Nayeon. 

 

 "We did not say that you would be removed from the group." JYP clarifies for her. "I said if you don't go to at least three therapy sessions, then we will consider removal or a hiatus for you as an option." 

 

 "Therapy?! Why?" She questions feeling personally attacked. 

 

"Earlier the members brought it to my attention that prior to this news leaking, you have had a slight drinking problem and you have been a little aggressive or harsh towards some of them as of recently." 

 

"in bull." Nayeon slams the workers documents off the table. At that moment she realizes this anger filled side of herself that she has been trying to suppress. 

 

She sits down, and straightened herself up. She clears . "Sorry about that." 

 

"Here we value the wellbeing and overall health of our artists." JYP hands her a card. "This is the address of the therapist you will visit later today, who is a partner to the company." 

 

Upon leaving the room, she is greeted by Jihyo surprisingly, who was standing cooly against the wall, outside the door waiting for her. 

 

"Why are you here? I thought you guys had so much recording to do?" 

 

"We do, but I felt so guilty after..everything-I could not focus on recording until I found out what they decided for you." 

 

"They gave me an ultimatum, if I go to three therapy sessions and stay on track behavior wise then I'm good but if I don't go then I'll be out of the group most likely." 

 

 "What are you doing about Jinyoung and the baby?" 

 

"I think I'm over him."

 

"You're breaking up?"

 

Nayeon nods. "The energy I once felt for him is gone and I don't see it returning." 

 

"And the child, I made an appointment for an...abortion."

 

Jihyo raises an eyebrow. 

 

"How soon is it?"

 

"Tomorrow morning..." She rubs the back of her head nervously. "Would you be able to come with me?-it's kinda embarrassing-I'm so scared." 

 

Jihyo embraces her. "Of course I can."

 

The day goes by. The members spend the day occupied carrying out recording duties, while Nayeon reflects on her recent antics until it's time for her session. 

 

Nayeon heads out to the therapist. It's not too far from the company or their living quarters, so she chooses to walk. 

 

"Stupid in Dispatch-I don't even know how they found out-thinking they can ruin my career." She walks on with her arms crossed mumbling to herself. 

 

Not too long after, she arrives. 

 

Holding the card in her hand, she looks up at the building verifying that it is the correct location. The building feels cold upon her entrance. 

 

She approaches the front desk. "I'm here...for...this person." Nayeon says reluctantly to the receptionist as she hands the card over. 

 

"Oh, you can head right up, she is expecting you." The receptionist tells her. "Take the elevator on your right."

 

She walks over to the elevator, still mumbling under her breath about having to be there in the first place. The elevator dings after reaching the second floor. As soon as she steps off, the door she is looking for is straight in front of her. 

 

"Come on in." 

 

She stands up and greets her. "You must be Nayeon, it's nice to meet you." 

 

The therapist can sense that Nayeon has an attitude and does not want to let her into her mind. 

 

"Nayeon, can you tell me how you are feeling right now?" The therapist eases into the session. 

 

tightens, her fingers curl into a clench. "I'm fine, I'm cool, I'm good, I don't even know why I'm here, look I'm cured, it's a miracle." She heads towards the door to which the therapist locks with a remote. 

 

Nayeon lets out a breath in frustration and holds her head down. "Can this be short? I have something important to do tomorrow morning." 

 

"Our time together will pass in a blink of an eye if  we start right now."

 

She folds her arms and sits back on the couch. 

 

Since Nayeon started off being difficult, the therapist decides to pry right into the issue at hand. "Your company recommended that you come here after this," She passes the paper over to Nayeon. "headline came out, can you tell me about, -well everything leading up to this?" 

 

"It's too messy to talk about." 

 

The therapist gently pushes the tea kettle and cup over to Nayeon, edging her on to have some to relax a little. "I am a therapist, mess is my specialty." 

 

Nayeon pours some tea into the cup and clasps onto the cup as security. "It all started when I first joined the company." She starts her story which takes nearly an hour to go through.

 

"I believe I have feelings for someone who is very close to me but it's weird I should not have feelings for this person-it makes feel uncomfortable to feel things."  

 

"You must have had some sort of emotion or feeling that allowed you to maintain your relationship with Jinyoung all this while, and the fact that you have a beautiful creation on the way." 

 

Nayeon exhales sharply and rolls her eyes. "Is it wrong to say that I only stayed with Jinyoung because of his looks? I mean he's a wonderful being but I feel like I have always felt something for this mystery person that is not about looks." 

 

"No there is nothing wrong with feeling that way." The therapist reassures her. "I think you might be referring to love versus lust, but it is possible to confuse lust for love. Would you consider your connection with Jinyoung love at first sight?" 

 

Without a doubt about it Nayeon answers, "Yes. Well I was always attracted to his looks, his niceness came second- which now sounds kinda screwed up." 

A silence falls in the room as the therapist continues to take notes of their conversation. 

 

"Looks play an important role in a lot of peoples decisions in daily life, is it possible that you maintained your status with him due to some sort of standard put on you from your industry, family, friends or anything?" 

 

This is when Nayeon reaches her most vulnerable state since stepping foot in the room. It is as if the question pierced her right in the heart. Tears begin to roll down her face, uncontrollably. "My parents were so happy when they found out I was dating Jinyoung because he is their ideal man for me but..they never even considered the fact that maybe..I picture myself with someone different." 

 

It took the therapist a minute to catch onto what Nayeon meant, but when she did she extended a hand to rub Nayeon's shoulder in comfort. "As a group we are granted the right to date but in my case it is seen as unprofessional because I am with someone from my company and the fact that I am starting to accept that I have feelings for..women can be career ending." 

 

"So this mystery person that you have been referring to is of the same ?"  

 

Nayeon nods confirming the question and it felt like a relief admitting it out loud for the first time. 

 

"How long have you known this person?"

 

"This person or actually she I should say uhh she has known me for like ten years maybe a little more. Our relationship is indescribable but it makes sense between the two of us-I mean literally we bite each others heads off and annoy the hell out of each other, but it works somehow." 

 

"It sounds like it should be easy to express your actual feelings to this person even if they do not feel the same way." 

 

"That's the problem, every time I'm around her I feel enraged but now after opening up, I think it was because I was using anger as a way to hide and secure my real feelings."

 

"We still have to meet 2 more times, but I would recommend that you go for it, try telling her how you feel, the worst thing that would happen is she could reject you. If you have known each other for as long as you said, then it should not be weird even if she does not feel the same way." 

 

The session ends on that note and the therapist gives Nayeon a card for their next meeting. The walk home seemed shorter than the time it took to get to the building, maybe it was the fact that going home was not a dread. She looks at her phone before entering and sees that it is way later than she expected. 

 

The place is dark except for a dim light in the kitchen area. In front of her an array of foods on the table, not just any foods but her favorite foods. A handwritten note is attached to the chair. It reads, "This is on me. I tried waiting for you but that eight hour studio session tired me out not to mention the toll it took on my voice anyway if you don't want the food just put it away, the members will eat it. - Jeong"

 

Nayeon puts her bag down and washes her hands at the sink. She sits down and enjoys the food, but just as she was starting to feel full she was reminded of her appointment or rather, procedure happening tomorrow as she rubbed her stomach. She finishes up her last few bites before placing the leftovers in the refrigerator. Off to bed she went.

 

The next morning she wakes up to the members preparing to head out to rehearsal, all but Jihyo who would be taking her to her procedure. It was kinda awkward ever since her secret was exposed to the  remaining members, they never really talked about it or talked to her at all. 

 

"I'm ready." Nayeon announces to Jihyo who was waiting for her on the couch with her keys in hand. 

 

"Really? You're going in you pajamas?" She questions Nayeon. 

 

"It's like a surgery so I felt it was appropriate, also where is Jeongyeon?" 

 

"Whatever floats your boat, and she's sleeping in, she has a sore throat." 

 

"I wanted to tha-nk-thank her for the food she left me last night." Nayeon says awkwardly. 

 

"She should be up later I suppose, but hey if you're ready, then let's get going." Jihyo says as she gets up from the couch. 

 

The two drive along without much conversation. The car is filled with the radio playing softly in the background and sound of the roadway. 

 

"Can I ask you something?" Jihyo questions breaking their silence. 

 

"Okay."

 

"I try my best to respect peoples decisions but ..are you sure you want to go through with this?" 

 

"Yes I have made up my mind." Nayeon says in an assertive tone as she rolls her eyes. 

 

"Okay but I'm just making sure, you know you're financially stable although it would not be idea considering your career, the father is supportive even if you breakup, or you could always go for the adoption route." Jihyo lays out all the possibilities to her. 

 

"Enough." 

 

Nothing would change Nayeon's mind at all, she was adamant on her decision. Shortly after, they arrive at the surgical office. She takes a deep breath and gets out. "It will all work out in the end." Jihyo says in support of her. 

 

Nayeon enters the building. She takes the elevator to the second floor. A receptionist greets her and asks her to sign in to be called on. She signs her name on the chart and takes a seat. As she waits for her name to be called, she observes her surroundings. 

 

"Im Nayeon?" A nurse calls from the door. 

 

Nayeon lets out a deep breath. 

 

The walk to the operation room sends a chill down her spine physically from the temperature and mentally. 

 

"Change into this gown and I will be back shortly for your pre-examination" The nurse hands Nayeon a packaged hospital gown. She stares at the gown in her lap for awhile. In the hallway she can hear the medical tools clattering, being prepared for her procedure. 

 

She hops off the exam table, collects her belongings and rushes out of the room and to the exit of the building. "Excuse me Miss.." the nurse in the hallways tries to get her attention. 

 

Nayeon busts back into Jihyo's vehicle unannounced  "Let's go." 

 

"That was too fast, what happened?" 

 

"I think I'll look at other options." She says returning  after coming from the surgery room having only been gone for ten minutes. She throws herself back in the seat and rubs her hands over her face. "I am screwed-I don't know what to do next." 

 

Jihyo was stumped, usually she has an answer for every situation. She starts the car and they head back to the dorm. After a few minutes of driving, "It was so scary." Nayeon speaks up. 

 

"Huh?" 

 

"The room..I couldn't go through with it."

 

"That's perfectly okay, don't think about the past or the future too much, think about the now." Jihyo suggests to her. 

 

Jihyo's words resonated with Nayeon for the current situation as well as her suppressing her feelings for Jeongyeon.

 

The two arrive at the dorm. 

 

To Nayeon's surprise, Jeongyeon was waiting for her when she arrived. "Aren't you supposed to be at the company?" Jihyo asks her. "Yeah but whatever I knew she could use some comforting after her surgery so I ditched." She had laid out a bunch of comfort items such as a soft blanket, a box of teas, some books. 

 

Nayeon moves past her without even giving her a glance. 

 

"What happened?" Jeongyeon asks in confusion.

 

"I might have accidentally talked her out of her plans so, I guess there will be a tenth member of the group." Jihyo says in attempt to find the silver lining to everything. 

 

—

A/N

Cliffhanger!! Nayeon admits that she has feelings for Jeongyeon, how do you think the relationship of these two will evolve?