I've been waiting for nine months and ten days. It's a very long time for a little human like me. If it's up to me, I will do this the easiest way. I won't take time at all. There's nothing I want more than to get into my mom's arms, to be touched by her love. Her smile. Her laugh. The twinkle in her eyes. I've been wanting to see them with my own eyes. Her tenderness. Her affection. I can't wait to feel them live and loud.

Time passes even slower here. Every muscle that contracts, every pain that washer her strength away, I feel it all. It hurts me so much to be the reason for this all. I can't do anything but stay put though. The motion has been set by the power that be and all I can do is wait for destiny to unfold.

Up to this point, destiny says it has been a painful forty-hours of a struggle for both of us. My mom slowly loses her power and determination. Crammed inside her, I slowly lose the ability to breathe too.

"Doctor." A nurse calls from in front of a monitor. "Baby's heartbeat is declining."

My mom is the strongest person I know. I'd love to be as strong as her but we both are exhausted now. We can't do this anymore.

"Mom's heartbeat too." The doctor sighs loudly. "Alert the OR, we're doing a cesarean! Get Dr. Choi too."

My mom blinks weakly. Her head turns to the side. "Seunggi..."

"It will be okay, YoonA." Tears in his eyes, the man caresses my mom's head affectionately. "It will be over soon."

"I don't want a C-section." My mom her lips, trying to push as a contraction comes rolling.

"I'm sorry, YoonA. We have to get your baby out before his heartbeat declines further." The doctor speaks to my mom as nurses break downs the bed. "You need to stop pushing. Save your energy. We're bringing you to the OR."

"Seunggi..." My mom calls her best friend once more, trying to battle the pain. The doctor and the nurses start to push the bed out of the room. Seunggi and Stephany follow closely on each side of the bed.

"Ssssh. You're okay. The baby is okay." Seunggi wipes his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, holding my mom's hand even tighter as the bed is being wheeled around the corner. "This will be over soon."

"Seunggi, you're too kind. I'm so sorry I can't give you anything in return. I'm so sorry."

"YoonA, please."

"Stephany." My mom turns her head to the other side. Stephany is walking fast beside the bed, holding the bed railing tightly. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I was so stupid."

"Sssh, now. It wasn't your fault." Wiping tears from the corner of her eyes, Stephany grabs my mom's hand. "Let's just forget and forgive, okay?"

My mom nods, biting her lips as waves of pain come again. "Can you... can you tell Changwook-"

"No." Stephany squeezes my mom's hand hard. "You tell him yourself, okay? You will survive this. You'll get very angry at him for all the trouble he has brought but you will survive, understand?"

Weakly, my mom smiles at Stephany. The bed stops when we all arrive in front of the OR. The doctor casts Seunggi an apologetic look. "No relatives allowed in an emergency surgency, Seunggi. I'm sorry."

"You'll be fine, YoonA." Seunggi leans forward. For the first time in his life, he kisses my mom's forehead. "I'll be out here waiting. You and your baby will be fine."

With those words, he releases my mom's hand. The medical team pushes the bed inside, closing the door behind them.

"Wait! YoonA!" Someone comes running. I don't get the chance to see but I can tell whose voice it is ringing in the corridor. "YoonA, I'm here! Let me in!"

It's Changwook. He's here. My dad is here, banging at the door.

"I'm sorry, Sir." A nurse comes out and blocks the way, leaving barely a few inches of the door open. "You can't get inside."

"He's the baby's father." I hear Seunggi yells."Let him in for a second. YoonA needs to see him!"

"We're losing her! BP is dropping fast!" Someone in the room yells too. I can feel it, my mom's consciousness fades away. Darkness starts to engulf m. I'm scared now.

"YoonA! I'm here! You'll be fine, YoonA!" My dad yells outside.

"YoonA!"

I close my eyes. My dad's voice echoes in my heart.

I'm protesting loudly, kicking and screaming. The doctor has the audacity to slap me on the , barely a few seconds after he yanked me away from the comfort of my mom's womb.

"Oh, he's loud. Need a little kickstart but loud." The doctor who slaps me chuckle as he hands me to another doctor. "Fine Apgar, I suppose."

The doctor who receives me put me down on a table, sticking a stethoscope on my chest. It's cold, so I cry louder. I want my mom but nobody brings me to her. I get measured and weighed but no one understands my protest.

"8, doctor Oh. You delivered another healthy baby." The doctor who handles me announces proudly as nurses come to swaddle me in a soft blue blanket. "How is the mom?"

"I can't still locate the bleeding. Her placenta is probably done for. Tsk. Suction!"

"I'll just get the baby out then."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Congratulations, it's a very healthy boy." The doctor comes out of the OR smiling, pushing me in a neonatal trolley.

"How is the mother?" Seunggi asks, trying to see behind the doctor but the OR door already slammed close.

"I'm afraid Doctor Oh is still trying to handle her bleeding."

"Will she be fine? How bad is this bleeding you're talking about" It's my dad who asks this time. His eyes are on the door too.

"I'm sorry I can't provide you more details at the moment but I can assure you that Doctor Oh is one of the bests in this field. You should hear from him soon. In the meantime, I'm taking this baby to the neonatal unit. Are there any of you who want to come along?"

Changwook looks at me, sighing deeply. "Is my son okay? Is he healthy?"

"He is. I will do some advance examination soon, but from his Apgar score, I can say that your son is fine. The long labor doesn't seem to affect him at all."

"Good." Gently, my dad rests his hand on my chest. "I need to wait for your mom, okay, baby boy? You sit tight. I'll come to you soon. Stephie, can you-"

"Yes. Of course, Wookie. Don't worry. I'll stay by his side" Stephanie answers before my dad can even finish his question.

"I'm sorry, Stephie. I shouldn't have asked... It's just...." He grabs his head. "YoonA, I worried about her so much."

"Sssssh. It's fine. You focus on YoonA. I'll take care of her baby." In a gentle smile, Stephany reaches for my hand. "Let's get you to a warmer place, little pea. Say bye to your dad and uncle."

Seunggi glances at me, sighing. My dad leans forward, kissing the top of my head before Stephany and the doctor carries me away.

I cry again. I don't want them to take me too far away from my mom. Stephany might be nice and pretty but I want my mom.

"He's loud." Stephany chuckles, reaching to pat me gently as she walks.

"The loudest I ever heard from a newborn." The doctor smiles, pushing the trolley with one hand while offering his other hand for a handshake. "I'm Choi Seunghyun, by the way. Is this your nephew?"

"Yeah. You can call him that, I guess. A nephew." Stephany sighs, shaking the doctor's hand. "I'm Stephany Hwang. Stephie."

"Congratulations on your healthy nephew, Aunty Stephie."

"Thank you."

"You have a perfect little boy, Wookie." Stephany says, watching my dad when he carefully lifts me into his arms. "Everything will be okay."

"You think?" With tears in the corner of his eyes, my dad rubs my cheek with his thumb. He looks into my eyes, trying to be strong but fall into tears anyway "I'm so scared for YoonA right now. All the talk about bleeding. I don't want to lose her."

"She will be fine." Stephany puts a hand around my dad's shoulder from behind. "Didn't the doctor say they had the bleeding controlled?"

"She doesn't wake up, Stephie. It has been hours."

"She needs that rest, don't you think? It was such a difficult time. She deserves a long nap."

"What if it's not just a nap? I can't even imagine if- " Looking up at the ceiling, my dad sighs deeply. "I was so stupid."

"Wookie, come on."

"It's so me, isn't it? Hurting people then run away with it. I did it to you. I did it to YoonA. I did it to my mom. I never owned up to my mistakes. I never try to work things out."

"Don't be too hard on yourself." Stephany leads my dad to the couch in the neonatal unit, sitting there before pulling my dad to sit beside him. "You are struggling too. Besides, it's not too late to change. YoonA will wake up and you'll make it up to her."

"It hurts me a little to admit this but I can see it." She carefully takes me from my dad's comfortable hold, smiling into my face before kissing the tip of my nose. "It will work, you and YoonA. It has to. You can't just run away from this cute little bear, can you?"

"Even if I don't run away, I will still be jailed. YoonA's friend managed to get me out with his connection in the senate but I'm sure your father will come after me again soon."

"Then maybe you should stop right here." Stephany turns her head, staring at my dad with a sharp look. "Drop this, Wookie. It's not just my father you go against with."

"How can I, Stephie? This is wrong. It's injustice for my fellow soldiers putting their life on the line at the borders."

"As wrong as it is, will you also put your life on the line now that you have a son who depends on you? And YoonA? Is it even fair for her to take care of your son alone? Pressing further only means you run away once more, Wookie! Forget this issue. I'll help you seek forgiveness from my father."

"I can't. YoonA's friend is bringing the evidence up to his connection at the moment."

"What? Are you crazy?"

My dad shakes his head, staring blankly ahead. "I told him everything on the way here. He said he'll find a way to get this through."

"Out of his love for me, my father didn't do you more harm. Can't you see detainment is the bare minimum of what he can do to you? He's not in this alone, Wookie. If this issue spread, God knows what his colleagues might do to you. What if they kill you, damn it?"

Stephanie's rising tone disturbs my peace. In her arms, I start to fuss. Where is my mom? I want my mom?

"I'm sorry, ma'am." A nurse comes over. "This is a neonatal unit, please keep your volume low."

"I'm sorry." Stephany nods, rocking me gently while making shushing sound. As I find my quiet again, Seunggi walks in.

"YoonA is awake. She's looking for her baby." He says while staring at my dad sadly. "She's looking for you too, Changwo