"There are two villages here and here, each at forty to fifty population of ancient tribes." My mom knelt on one knee, her automatic weapon tucked to the side of her body as she pointed at the printed satellite imagery laid on the ground. "The military outpost is located here, here and here. We could finally scout the one by the river, hidden on the foot of this sycamore hill. More than twenty soldiers. No heavy weapons in sight but Kyungsoo spotted about two M27 IAR and I saw  a bunch of M4A1."

"Nice job, Sergeant Im." Lieutenant Ji nodded. "We still can't see what is it they're protecting so hard, can we?"

"Nope. Maybe if you let me scout alone, I can get closer."

"No way."

"Or at least with Sooyoung's back up, I can-"

"I said no."

"Yes, sir." My mom said dejectedly.

"Don't see this as my doubt on your capability." Lieutenant Ji rested his hand on my mom's knee, staring into her eyes tenderly. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Thank you, sir."

"About last night-"

"No need to talk about that, sir."

"YoonA, please." He hooked a finger under my mom's chin now. "Let me talk as your man this time."

"My man?"

"Yes. Didn't you say I'm yours?"

My mom's face went red as she threw a look over her shoulder. Behind her, the squad is busy cleaning themselves in the river.

"I want to be yours so bad last night happened without better judgment. I apologize, YoonA."

"You don't need to."

"Still. What I did to you was wrong."

"They said it takes two to tango."

"I'm your commander. Your boss. I shouldn't even try to tango with you, you know?"

"I'm sorry." Sadness was clear in my mom's eyes as she looked away once more. This felt a lot like rejection and it hurt her.

"It's not your fault. Mine. But let it be clear, other than the bad judgment call, last night was the most wonderful night in my life."

My mom blushed once more.

"I would love to experience that wonder again, YoonA. I would like to have you in my arms again someday. In perfect time. In the most appropriate way because you deserve so much more."

"My feeling for you is real and I'll prove it to you one day. Allright?"

My mom nodded, couldn't find the perfect words for the feeling she had inside.

"Until then, we should do our best for this country and carry on as if nothing has happened. I'm sorry." Liutenant Ji gave my mom a quick peck on the cheek before standing up, calling the soldiers out. "Wrap it up, people. We're going back in five!"

"Yes, sir!" My mom stood up. A tint of pink still adorned her cheeks.

My mom wakes up blushing, the beautiful scene from the past came so perfectly in her dream she can feel her heart beats a little faster. Taking a deep sigh then gets out of the bed, she soon feels ugly nausea butting in.

"Good morning to you too, dear." My mom rubs me through her stomach, walking to the small kitchen. "Will you still revolt if I give you tea first? Or will some crackers do this time?"

I laugh. My mom thinks it's me that makes her throw up every morning. It's not me. It's her body adjusting to me. The smell of cheese crackers she has entices me though. I can't wait for the day I can taste the snack myself.

"Okay, crackers it is." My mom smiles, munching on the thin snack while opening the window. Our apartment is on the fifth floor and my mom is immediately greeted by messy scenery of the most crowded corner in the city.

"Good morning, Yoona." An elderly neighbor who lives in the apartment across the alley greets from her open window. "You wake up early today."

"I start to work today, grandma." My mom smiles after chewing the cracker to its last piece. "Wish me luck."

"Oh, you work today?" A tan, good-looking, shirtless man appears toweling his hair beside the grandma. "Wanna ride with me?"

"It's fine Seunggi. There's a bus route I can take."

"No. No. No. Ride with me. It will save you some time."

"I'm fine."

"Ride with him so he will be quiet, Yoona-yah." The grandma laughs. "Let this old woman has a peaceful morning."

"Alright, grandma. Alright." Yoona laughs too. "See you downstairs in an hour, Seunggi."

"Wait... wait... Have you had any breakfast yet? Grandma cooked her killer chicken soup this morning. Come over. I bet you can even smell the thick broth from there."

My mom's stomach instantly revolts at the thought of chicken soup. She shakes her head quickly before bolting to the toilet and throws up.

"There goes the piece of cracker." Mom wipes her lips while pressing the flush button. "You need to cooperate with me little one. We both need the nutrients."

I can only shrug from the inside of her belly. If it was up to me, I would have at least two bowls of chicken soup every morning. I want to grow up strong and fast. I want to chase my mom's sadness away soon. Since we left the hospital a week ago, she has gotten so restless and unhappy.

"Good morning." Lee Seunggi, the man from across the alley, pops his head in as soon as my mom opens the door a while later.

"I'm not ready yet, Seunggi. You should have just waited outside." My mom already has her uniform on but her hair is still a mess of wet locks drape over her shoulders.

"I bring you soup." Seunggi comes in bearing a square stainless steel container. "Grandma said you can keep it in the fridge and heat it on the stove anytime you want to."

My mom retrieves the container as if it was a ticking bomb. She grimaces her thank you at Seunggi, clearly thankful for the lid that prevents the smell from wafting off.

"Here, open it. You should at least taste it a little before we go."

It's too late to say no. Seunggi already holds the bottom of the container and pops the lid open with his other hand. It smells so nice I start to drool immediately. My mom's stomach says otherwise though.

My mom heaves, dropping the container onto the kitchen counter then reaches the sink to throw up once more.

"Oh God, YoonA. What's wrong?" Seunggi hastily comes to my mom's side. "Was it the soup? I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Close the lid." Eyes wet, mom tries to take a deep breath. Her stomach churns and she throws up once more. "I can't stand the smell."

"Alright. Alright." Seunggi moves fast, even going the extra mile by putting the container outside. When he comes back into the room the ugly nausea has left and my mom is rinsing with tap water. "I'm sorry, Yoona. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine."

"Here let me help." He holds mom's hair back as she washer her face in the sink. "Are you okay?"

"I will be. Soon, I hope." My mom sighs, staring into Seunggi's eyes as if challenging him to say something about what has just happened.

"Are you..." The man stops mid-sentence, genuinely look at my mom with worry.

"Yes."

"Oh." A flash of disappointment veils across Seunggi's face for a short moment. Sighing, he then smiles sweetly. "I promise to never bring any unsoliticed soup near you again."

"I used to love your grandma's soup so much, didn't I? Now I can't even stand its smell."

"It will be gone in a few weeks, or so said my five noisy, pregnancy-black-belt bearer, sisters."

"I forgot that you have half a dozen nieces and nephews. You probably have more experience than me."

"Ten. I have ten now."

"Oh my God." My mom laughs. "I had been gone for too long."

"Yes, you had. Sometimes I thought you will never come back."

Seunggi looks into my mom's eyes so deep she can see the questions in them. Before my mom enlisted, they used to be the best of friends. Now, with me between them, my mom doesn't even know if she wants to share her story with him.

"Are you okay, YoonA? Are you happy?"

My mom smiles wanly at him, her hand touches her stomach. "I'm a little confused and sad at the moment but I think I can still be happy. I will be happy."

"Good. Let's go to work then."

"Wait downstairs, okay? I need to get ready."

The man nods, stepping outside with a sad smile on his face.