They said, there are few things that we need to remember if we want to keep a relationship to last forever; communicate, talk about things—good and bad. Build trust. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Make time for one another. Know that having an argument is normal, that we are not going to be always happy. Appreciate the flaws, do not expect the change. And last but not least, love each other unconditionally. 

Most people probably don't want to hear this, but Yeonhee understands when they say that real relationship that last involves a lot, like, terribly lot of forgiveness. It's because she has to accept the fact that nobody is perfect. He's not perfect and that means he will hurt her, disappoint her and even upset her. But despite everything, the real relationship is which though there are a million reasons to leave, she still always looks for one reason to stay.

But Yeonhee is not that Mary Sue with this typical great understanding and patience. She doesn't have this 'specialness' to make her a perfect lover either. She's just a reasonable bad-tempered girl who wants to be happy and be loved. She says stupid things sometimes, she acts like a child and sulks when she's upset, and she holds grudges. Yeonhee is a reasonable girl, but it's not always easy to maintain that Pinterest-type relationship goal in her own romantic relationship.

When Yixing decides to extend his stay in Israel after his training ends, Yeonhee knows that this is the beginning of the test in their relationship. He gets this offer to complete his cardiothoracic residency in one of the best cardiovascular medical centers in the world, and this offer is not something that will come twice easily.

Though it's hard to accept it, Yeonhee tries to be supportive. Yixing earns it, he deserves to get the best education that comes with the hard work. It will be another four years being separated from him, and Yeonhee, initially, convinces herself to stay positive. That they're going to be okay. That they're going to get through it. She believes it when Sejeong says that,

"Sometimes the two people who are truly best for each other will have to face greater obstacles in order to be with each other,"

Both Yixing and Yeonhee had separated for ten years before their last reunion, another four years would mean nothing for them.

And both of them indeed don't have to worry about the presence of any third party in the relationship, because they both have only their eyes on each other. Yeonhee always takes herself as a loyal person, it's proven by how she could be in love with the same person in ten years before she met Yixing and let him keep her heart next after. Though new people come and go every day, even though these male people are as godly looking as those EXO boys, or even make their way to get into her life, none of them has her attention at all. And without doubt, Yixing is just the same—at least that's what he says, and being the one she trusts, she believes in him. Without fail, there's no flaw with loyalty.

But of course, no relationship comes in a smooth expressway. And the flaw of theirs is their oath to the Hippocrates.

Yixing always takes his job seriously. No matter where he is, what situation he is in, he will always do his best in giving his patients the best treatment. Even though this means that he has to sacrifice some things in his personal life, he'll still do it.

And actually this isn't something new for Yeonhee, because she herself also has a life that is not much different. But it's different when you often give up your time for your loved one to be in the hospital, Yeonhee is too exasperated that she decides to give up too in the end.

Their first breakup happens at Yixing's second year at Tel Aviv Medical Center. They've been talking about this plan to visit Changsa since their internship year. What was originally planned was shortly after taking their final exam in their first year, Yixing finally able to find some time in the Summer to get a short getaway back in his hometown. They plan a week trip to see his mom and to get around the city to try some local delicacies (as how Yixing always says it), everything is set, Yixing will be there a day before and promises that he's going to pick her up at the airport the day after. And Yeonhee is really expecting this vacation only to hear that Yixing has missed his flight to Beijing because he has to do emergency surgery on a patient with acute cardiomyopathy.

And it's not the end of the story. After telling her that he's going to get himself a last-minute flight ticket, Yeonhee has to hold her deep disappointment to find out that Yixing is not able to leave at all as the patient's prognosis requires him to stand by in the hospital. She has a nice stay in Yixing's parents' house, her mom is a very lovely person, and she treats her very well. But Yeonhee fails to find a reason to maintain the relationship with him when he makes it clear that she comes second, or maybe just the third after his patients and this trait he calls responsibility. He shouldn't have just promised her anything in the first place, she wouldn't board on that plane if he told her that he might not make it. He keeps giving her hope only to break it in the end. She hates it, especially when it's actually not the first time happening.

Yeonhee just can't understand how it happens. The hospital has enough cardio specialists, Yixing is not the only one who works there. So, she doesn't why Yixing should feel full responsibility for all patients and do all the work himself, where they have more senior doctors.

"They need me, Yeonhee," it's how Yixing justifies himself, and this answer also makes Yeonhee sure that they can't continue all this.

"So you think I don't need you?" Yeonhee quips, she leaves him speechless with that. But she doesn't need any answer, it's just enough to end this.

So that's how the first happened.

But it doesn't take long for them to get back together though, just because they don't seem to be able to live without each other, and because Yixing makes the effort to go back to Korea to fix them. He doesn't promise her anything anymore, but he tells her that he's going to be a better person for her. And these things he does melt the ice in her, and that's how she agrees to start over again with him.

They last for the next two years, which is not an easy one. The first breakup has made Yeonhee quite self-conscious that she's not her boyfriend's first priority. Though it hurts, she still tries to be understanding just because she's a doctor herself. And Yeonhee doesn't want to be hurt. She misses him, but he disappoints her with his lack of priority, and it's just her defense mechanism to sublime her frustration to an aggressive attitude.

She's not as patient as before, she becomes more demanding over his time, even it's just for a few minutes, just to talk over the phone, but it always ends in a quarrel. Like, really, Yeonhee tries to press herself at times, even though she knows that she's not perfect, she still wants to be reasonable. But Yixing almost never makes it easy for her.

Their second breakup happens in their fifth year, just a couple months before they finish their residency. Yeonhee gets herself some days off on Christmas week, and since it's not an everyday chance, she decides to pay Yixing a visit. She wants to make an effort to make their relationship work, a week of being with him might be able to replace all the lost time over the past few years. She realizes that the lack of communication between them is one of the reasons they have so few civil conversations. She keeps him informed about her visits, asking him, likes over and over this time, to manage his schedule while she's there. He says okay, Yeonhee thinks that he's really 'okay' with all this.

He picks her up at the airport and drops her at his apartment to get back to the hospital to check on a patient. He says he's going to be back soon, but his 'soon' is apparently four hours later. On the second day, Yixing stays an hour longer to have breakfast together. They walk around the block to a market nearby to shop for some groceries, and then he leaves to the hospital. Apparently his attendings are on leave so he and another cardio resident need to check on their thirty-patients every now and then, also managing the out-patient clinic in from eight to four. It's past midnight when he's home, and he's too exhausted to even have a proper conversation. He falls asleep on her lap when they're in the middle of their small talk on the couch, and she can only sigh in seeing him so worn out.

The third day is Christmas, and Yixing is out all day. He calls her twice, the first one is to check if she has lunch. The second one is on eight, later in the evening, to tell her to not wait for him because he's going to be late. Yixing comes home at 2, and Yeonhee doesn't ask anything about his coming late.

On the fourth day, she decides that she's going home, three days earlier than the schedule. She packs her bag, intending to wait until six, where he's supposed to be home normally. But she doesn't see him, even until he waits thirty minutes longer, he texts her that he's going to be late since he has another surgery to do and that he wishes she would wait for him this time. Just for another hour, he says.

She doesn't wait for him.

The flight is last-minute, she needs to upgrade her ticket to business class because it's only one left to get her back home. And she leaves.

She doesn't take any of his calls after that, even when Yixing tries to get through her with Sejeong's or Baekhyun's help. And the heartbreak is suffocating. Yeonhee never plans to leave him, to be honest, but she just can't stand him anymore. She loves him still, really loves him, but he hurts her, and she can't forgive him this time.

But being where everything starts with Yixing from day one, she can't hold back to rewind all the memories that she spent with him here in every corner of the surgery floors. And knowing that Yixing is coming home anytime soon, she thinks that it would be best that she won't see him if she wants to let this go. And that chance comes at the very right time, with the high price that follows. Right after she passes her board, she decides to join the medical team to be sent to the world's deadliest conflict zone, running this hospital aided by the Korean government in Afghanistan.

Everyone is freaking out, of course. She doesn't tell anyone about her enlistment. People only find out when the chief of surgery announces this on the day of her release, a day before she flies off with the other five doctors throughout the Korean peninsula. Sehun is giving her an earful for a whole day, calling her crazy and everything. He even threatens her that he's not going to ever call her, but that doesn't stop her from leaving.

He doesn't mean any of it though, because he calls her right away after she texts him that she's touched down the US Army Base in Bagram. The hospital was built back in 2002 on the Bagram base as part of her nation's contribution to reconstruction efforts in the country. She has heard about the hospital itself since she's still a med student; that it has brought a big change for people around especially with modern medical facilities that it has. People in Parwan don't have to travel south to Kabul to get treatment for they have the hospital with better facilities here. The doctors treat the patient for free, and with the eleven doctors that they have, they can meet about 200 patients a day.

Nothing much has changed when Yeonhee takes a tour around the hospital. It still has eleven doctors, three of them are Afghan, and the other two are Americans. They still see hundreds of patients a day. They still train the Afghan youth with medical skills, and they're doing their parts in helping fight terrorism in that country.

Most of the patients come from Parwan province and Kabul. Some others even came from as far away as Kandahar, 200 miles and even from areas near the border with Pakistan. And even though the hospital only sees the patients from Monday to Thursday, the ED is always open 24/7. And accustomed to busyness in Korea, she's not so surprised by the same bustle there, despite facing the more serious case.

Since it's a war zone, Yeonhee has to face with serious wounds almost every day. Incoming patients are the casualties from mine explosions or gunshots, and thankfully, since it is a hospital with a level 1 facility, they are still able to treat them as the medical frontline. There are times when the patients are overloaded and she has to move some of them based on the triage. She has no choice since she's only attending they have for the ED, and she can't take care all the trauma cases by herself (even with the help from the other specialists) when they have mass casualties. All she can do in this situation is giving them the first aid and evacuating them to the U.S. hospital on the base.

At least for the first two months, the busy days have managed to get her forgetting the people back home. For a few hours every day she's drowned in the sea of ​​people, treating patients and doing surgeries, only has the time to reply to her friends' messages at night after her shift is done—which is past midnight already back home.

She becomes a good friend with her translator, a sergeant who goes by the name of Jung Haein. He sticks with her since her first day to help her communicate with the locals and to teach her the language while they sit together at lunch. And they become close because he's just a couple years younger, and Yeonhee doesn't really get along with the other doctors or nurses because they're practically much older and that makes them her seniors. Fortunately, Kyungsoo joins the team six months later, and she can't be much happier to see the first familiar face after months of living with new people.

"I miss you so much and please, be home soon," it's the first thing he says when she gives him a welcome hug.

"He keeps pestering me for days to make sure I pass this to you once I see you," he says again when she frowns, asking why he's talking strangely. Yeonhee rolls her eyes at that but soon tells him to forget it and stops passing her that person's messages because he's not an owl.

Having Kyungsoo around is a big deal. She's used to working with him back home. And as an ER nurse, he's one of the few nurses who know best how she works with things. He knows her move, he knows what to bring or what to pass to, like he's her third and fourth hand and it's really convenient to keep him by her side.

What changes her, when they used to only talk about jobs or some stuff back in Korea, it's getting more personal here. Yeonhee is surprised the first time Kyungsoo tells her about his family, a story that she never heard before. She doesn't have any close friends than Baekhyun and Sejeong, so seeing Kyungsoo open up to her, she feels like she's getting herself a new close one, along with Haein. One more people to fill up their table during their lunch.

In her second year serving at the Korean Hospital in Bagram, Yeonhee decides to take a double board and start her fellowship in Cardiothoracic surgery. Seeing enough cardio patients admitting their hospital, as well as several cases she finds from patients in ER, Yeonhee doesn't want to miss this opportunity to study it further. It will be so much convenient when she has an incomings while the attending is unavailable on the spot.

And everything runs smoothly with her residency at least for the next seven months, until this incident ruins everything.

February 27, Yeonhee is treating a burn patient when she hears a blast sound coming from somewhere not far from the hospital. She's told that there's a suicide bomb attack at the base's front gate, and they're expecting some casualties from the incident.

Making sure that she gets everything they need to treat some other burn trauma, also having a nurse to page the general surgeon and also an orthopedic to stand by, she's informed that they have their people as the victims. And she freezes for a couple of seconds to see the two victims that were called 'their people' are no other than Haein and her Cardio attending.

The GS residents treat the cardio attending while Yeonhee gets Haein. She helps the US paramedics to push the gurney to the trauma bay. She holds back her tears as she holds his hand along the way. And Yeonhee knows right after she gets him, she's going to lose him. He's in pretty bad shape, severely injured, small penetrating wounds everywhere from head to toe, several damaged organs and 3mm dilated pupils when checked. She doesn't try to resuscitate him when his heart stops beating, trying to keep her hands off of him so he won't suffer anymore.

Today on February 27, she loses one of her most beloved people here in Afghanistan. Haein is the first-person who spoke to her once she landed in the country, the first person who said that he wanted to be a friend (instead of a colleague) in this foreign land. He's also the first member of the Republic of Korea Armed Forces to be killed by enemy action since the Vietnam War.

And since badly injured, the cardio attending is sent back to Korea and Yeonhee is left here without a specialist in charge. And this goes on for the whole three months.

"Have you heard anything about incoming cardio attending yet?" Yeonhee asks when she finally has the time to have lunch. She speaks with Sehun through the handsfree and puts her tray in front of Kyungsoo at the corner of the hospital's cafeteria.

"Not yet, Yeonhee, you know I'll have you informed by now if I have anything," he replies to her.

"We don't have a specialist here, Sehun. The attending from the US army hospital only came here on Tuesday and Friday, the senior residents are lost without him. And though I know what to do, I can't make the order because I'm not a specialist." she complains, "We need an attending right away."

"Well, I wish I could do something about it, but you know it's not my jurisdiction. Who goes and who comes, it's all decided by the Korean Medical Board."

"Can't you ask the chief to speak someone from the board? Remember that person Yixing was diagnosed with MI years ago? You can talk to him to send you here,"

"Uh-uh, no can do. I don't even know him," he says, from the way he speaks Yeonhee can imagine him rolling his eyes right now, "And I won't talk to the chief to send me there. If you need an attending for yourself, you come home and learn from me here."

It's Yeonhee's turn to roll her eyes, she mouths 'stupid' to Kyungsoo who chuckles inaudibly while munching his food.

"It's not about me, Brother, it's about hundreds of patients who need proper treatment here. And how many times I told you that I won't ever go home, I'll stay here for the rest of my life."

"You crazy-,"

"Yeah, I know, but you love this crazy- ..."

"And now I'm regretting it."

Yeonhee can't help but chuckle. This has been how they communicate for the last few years, calling names and consulting each other with so many profanities. She can't really remember how it started again, Sehun contacted her regularly after he moved to the US but it was filled with raw conversations. She remembers they didn't speak for about six months because of the difference in time and busy schedules, but then he came home for a short holiday and seemed like everything got different.

She couldn't say that he was back to being old Sehun she knew, some parts of him were, but it felt more like the same old brand new him. How can she say it?
Sehun became mischievous. Yes, he is. That, and he speaks more bluntly but more like curses-more-bluntly like it's his new way to express her brotherly love on her. And Yeonhee can't decide if she loves this new person or not, because the feeling is fifty-fifty. On one side because she used to have the old Sehun showering her with affection and support whatever she said, but now he prefers to get on her bad side instead. She misses the old fluffy Sehun actually, but at times, she finds the new Sehun is a really fun person.

Kyungsoo knocks on the table snaps her from the slight reverie, Yeonhee looks up to him to see him jerking his chin to something behind her. Yeonhee turns to look over her shoulder and finds Kim Minseok from the Korean army walking up to them. She ends her call right away to welcome the guest.

"Good afternoon, Doctor Kang," the man greets her with a salute.

"Good afternoon, Captain," Yeonhee greets him back with a polite smile and invites him to sit with them. "What brings you here? Is someone sick?"

"No," Minseok pulls a chair next to her and sits himself there before he answers her question, "I come here to bring you a piece of good news."

"Really? What is it?"

"I was informed that we're going to welcome the cardiovascular specialist you've been waiting for months tomorrow,"

Yeonhee raises her eyebrows with the information. "Wow, a Korean?" she asks curiously.

Sehun just said that he doesn't know anything about it, and it makes her wonder if the cardio specialist is a foreigner. Not that she's being ungrateful to it, but she is kind of disliking the idea of ​​the language barrier with a fellow doctor. She only speaks Korean and English here, also a very little Afghan, and she likes it better if she doesn't have to learn any other languages ​​to just understand him because she already has so many things stuffed in her head now.

"I'm not well informed about this, all I know is that he's coming from South Korea," Minseok tells her. "Sergeant Cook from the US Army will pick him up from Kabul tomorrow at four, then you and I will get him on the base at five. Please be ready,"

"Wait, why do I have to pick him up at the base?"

"I don't know," Minseok shrugs, "Because he's your attending? And you've been pestering our government to send someone for months, so they're kind of letting you welcome him yourself."

Yeonhee can't help herself to snort and hide her laugh at the mention of her 'aggressive request'. But since the government has given the aid that she needs, complying with the order won't be so much trouble. But first, she needs to tell the chief of surgery in this hospital about the new attending's arrival.

Captain Kim picks her up at the hospital at four the next day. Yeonhee takes Kyungsoo and a cardio resident with her to welcome their new attending at the US airbase, about three kilometers from the hospital. 

They have a small chat with some of the air force troops on the shift while waiting for their guest to arrive. Yeonhee is one of the very few in the Korean team who can speak English fluently so they're keeping tabs on the Korean doctors through her as the speaker, especially now that Haein, the translator chief, is not there anymore. She administers a regular health check when they ask, gives them a quick consult while on it, and refers to some specialists at the US hospital when they need it.

It's when they're informed that the helicopter is arriving, everyone gets ready at the hangar field watching it flying from afar. 

The wind blows harder as the helicopter lands, Yeonhee narrowed her eyes, reminiscing that moment when the first time she sets her feet in this place. She remembers being so empathetic to the situation at that time, as she spots the debris left behind by the missile attack from above the sky, villages and cities that has died, and all the faces in misery. She remembers expecting for the worst to come, that she's going to live her worst nightmare in this land.

And she has no idea what kind of impression that the incoming specialist has to set his feet here, not many people are willing to come here, with all the stories the media spread through the writing and video that they appear on television. But one thing is clear, she respects him, whoever is for the bravery to serve these people in need.

The first member of the army jumps down the helicopter, followed by Sergeant Cook and then the expected cardio specialist. And this is the thing, she thinks that she's daydreaming when she sees Yixing getting off of the heli. She thinks it's just her imagination because she was thinking of him when Minseok told her about the expected cardio specialist, but Kyungsoo's cheer snaps her out of it.

She glances sideways to see Kyungsoo raises both of his hands high up in the air, cheering the 'yaaaay' excitedly before moving forward to welcome the man himself. And Yeonhee turns back to the view in front of her, she squints to see Kyungsoo gives him a big hug with a happy laugh. It's indeed Yixing, looking so stand out among the pastel gray uniforms with his black set of jeans, wifebeater and jacket suits.

She can feel her heart beating so fast, it's a thunderstorm when he walks up to them, putting off his aviator and black snapback to shake Minseok's hand as the army captain greets him with a salute.

"Good afternoon, Doctor, welcome to Bagram," says he before ordering his subordinate to take Yixing's duffle bag from him. "How's your flight?"

"Everything's good from Korea. But from Kabul to here, well ..." Yixing raises his eyebrows, as if saying something like 'you know what I mean'. And Yeonhee understands it very well, he must have seen what she sees and feels the same remorse that she has.

Yeonhee stays silent all the while, but she's watching Yixing closely as he makes his greetings to the other staff and the army's members. And this is when she realizes that it has been two years since the last time she saw him.

"Doctor," Yixing shifts to her and reaches out to her hand to shake hers, "It's been a while," he says as she takes his hand to shake, and she replies to him with the same words.

Something looks different from him for the first three minutes she stares at him conversing with the people. He cuts his hair shorter, no more bangs or that comma style anymore, it's just like bushes on top of his head as if he deliberately shows off his battle scar bluntly. He used to be very timid about this, but it doesn't seem to be the case anymore, the Yixing who stands in front of him is screaming great confidence. His whole presence is shining because of it.

But if there's one thing that she can point out, is that he looks a lot mature. The old Yixing that she knew was fluffy and smiley, but this one is more serious. From the way he looks at her in the eyes, the thin smile which has been decorating his face occasionally instead of the wide happy one which is used to be etched on it. And she has no idea what to make of this, even though she was expecting a cardio attending, he's definitely not the one she expects would show up.

Awkwardly she pulls her hand off of his and gets everyone to head back to the hospital. She keeps shut during the trip, keeps her eyes away since they have Yixing to sit next to her on the jeep. But thankfully it's a short one because she just knows that she's going to lose it if it's a bit longer.

Yixing jumps off of the jeep, he reaches out his hand to help her get off. And Yeonhee glances at him for a second before she decides to ignore his hand and jumps off himself. She doesn't waste any more time to lead him to the general doctor's lounge, where all the other doctors and some of the nursing staff have been waiting to welcome him. It's just another good thing that she stations at the ER because she can use it as the excuse to not be there. Her pager beeps in front of everyone, who instantly gets all eyes on her. She can't be more than thankful to the patient who saves her at the very right time, she flees back to the ER right away.

"Do you know anything about this?" Yeonhee asks once she reaches the nurse station to write on the patient's chart. She doesn't look up when she speaks, but she knows that Kyungsoo is surprised as the question pop up. She makes sure that she shows him how disappointed she is, feeling betrayed by this whole point since they took off from the base.

"Will you believe me if I say no?"

She looks up to lean on the station, folding her arms on the countertop. "I will believe you if you tell me the truth," she says then.

Kyungsoo stays silent for a few seconds before he puts off his gloves to lean on the station next to her.

"I didn't know that Dr. Zhang is the cardio specialist that they sent here, but I did have an idea that he was applying to the dispatch. He told me about this right after Dr. Jung was sent back to Korea, but he got held by the board because of his citizenship. " Kyungsoo confesses.

"Nice play you're doing there, Kyungsoo, I think we're friends." she shakes her head as she finds it to believe that Kyungsoo has failed to mention it to her. She looks down to continue writing, expecting Kyungsoo to just leave. But he doesn't.

"I am your friend," he confirms.

"If you are my friend then you're supposed to be on my side ..."

"Whoa, wait," he holds up his hands, "First of all, I like you two. I consider you and Dr. Zhang as friends for the sake of our past relationship. So please, don't ask me to take any side because that's not going to happen. I'm Switzerland here, alright? I'm your friend and his friend too ... "

Yeonhee rolls her eyes, feeling more offended with this, "Don't say that you're my friend when you choose to keep that information yourself instead of telling me the truth."

"Well, I'm sorry—"

Yeonhee holds out her hand now, cutting her words to stop him from speaking more, "Don't say anything to justify yourself, I'm not impressed at all, you know. I'm disappointed with you, period." and with that, she finishes her report and puts her pen back to her chest pocket before she turns around to leave.

Running her hand to her head, Yeonhee walks out of the ER to get to the locker room. She feels a bit lightheaded and decides to call it a day as her shift is coming to end. To be honest, she kind of surprised herself that she takes this lot of calmer than she thought herself to be. After years of trying to get away, she doesn't expect to see Yixing at the same place she's in right now. But to say that it shocks her, it's negative. She thinks that nothing can shock her anymore after Sehun, but she won't deny that it frustrates her a bit. She thought everyone had stopped lying at her, but of all the people that she wishes to be honest to her, Kyungsoo's silence is just a total breakdown.

"I asked him to keep it secret, don't last it out to him."

Yeonhee stops her track in the hallway when she hears Yixing's voice from behind her back. She turns around to find him standing before the ER door. He has changed his black jacket to the white coat, his name is engraved under the embroidered Korean Bagram Hospital on his left chest and Yeonhee can't help but scoff at the realization; it seems like she's the only one who has no idea about this at all.

Shaking her head, she turns back around to ignore his words and starts walking again.

"So you're ignoring me, now?"

Yeonhee sighs, but she keeps walking.

"Kim Yeonhee!"

"Yes!" Yeonhee halts to turn to him, "I'm ignoring you now. So please, with all due respect, Doctor, if it's not about the patient, please don't talk to me. And it's Doctor Kang Yeonhee, get it right."

Then she takes off.

Yeonhee has to confess that it's not easy for her to build her willingness to go to the hospital today. Her morning starts with the edgy feeling after knowing that they put Yixing at the room next door, the head nurse let her know by text to tell her to show the cardio attending around because they 'seem' to be close. And Yeonhee feels like she's caught in the act thinking that he might have heard her lashing out to Sehun on the phone last night. Though the residency provided to hospital staff is quite big for one person, they can still hear their neighbor's voices when they yell, and Yeonhee was literally screaming her heart out the night before. But Sehun deserves it. He's just lucky that he's in Korea right now, because Yeonhee might have grabbed his hair if he's here.

Yixing is locking his door when Yeonhee steps out of her lodge. She struggles with the key as her other hand holding the stack of journal papers that she printed out a few days ago. And seeing that she's not going to get to lock her door, Yixing takes it from her hand to help her locking it. He hands it to her once the door is locked, and without saying anything he turns to leave right away.

Yeonhee watches him walking away, holding the white coat in one hand while his other one is tucked inside his black pants' pocket. He doesn't say hello or anything at all, which is a sign that he takes her previous words seriously. She does feel bad that he has to hear her losing herself, even though she still hopes that he didn't listen to the conversation.

But at least he leaves her alone today, which she really appreciates. She's happy that Yixing actually takes her request into account, and doesn't engage with her except when she gets paged to see a patient at the ER. And just like in the past, she still likes to see him doing the procedure to the trauma patient, maybe even more right now. He's not that clueless intern anymore, the one who needs time to comprehend everything he sees and he hears before he starts doing something. Well, he still does need a few seconds to understand what people say, but everything seems like coming out of habit now, like, the hands, they just move by themselves without brains controlling it. And the view is just awesome.

They have this 23-year-old male patient today. While riding a motorbike, he was unable to successfully negotiate a curve and hit against a wall. Bruise marks are found on his right flank as well as on his chest. After they take him to have a CT, he undergoes circulatory collapse. The CT scans reveal a massive pericardial effusion and she has Yixing to confirm a cardiac tamponade. She watches him closely doing an emergency pericardiocentesis with echo (where he puts a needle into the patient's chest to drain the fluid in the pericardium). It's not the first time she watches a specialist does such procedure, but it's the first time that Yeonhee sees someone doing it that fast, especially when it needs a high accuracy of how the needle trajectory avoids vital structures. It leaves her with awe. The patient is then quickly transferred to the operating room, she assists him to do an awkward median sternotomy incision (since nobody is talking if it's not about the procedure technique).

"What is this?" 

Yeonhee looks up when Kyungsoo puts an apple juice on her tray, he puts his tray on the table and pulls a chair to sit in front of her.

"It's exactly what it is," he replies as he starts eating. "You don't have that many friends here, Yeonhee, you only have me. So please stop being mad at me, it's frustrating."

Looking at the juice box, and then his stoic face after, Yeonhee can't help herself to smile. Kyungsoo does have a unique way to communicate sometimes, just like some guys out there, he doesn't say thank you or sorry that much. Those words don't slip easily, it's mostly done with action. And Yeonhee is not that mad anymore, the disappointment has long gone, so she shrugs with it,

"Okay," she tucks a straw to the apple juice and have a sip before continuing to eat.

"And," he adds, "I know it's not my business to meddle, but until when are you planning to give him silent treatment?"

"Did he ask you to tell me that?" Yeonhee retorts,

"No," Kyungsoo quickly denies, "It's just, the awkwardness is contagious. Even the other nurses can feel it, and they're talking about it."

Yeonhee needs a little more time to respond to it. Is it that obvious? She never really pays any attention. She knows that she doesn't come off as an approachable person to people, she doesn't talk to them about her personal life. All the interaction is nothing more than some friendly colleague jokes and stuff like that. But people talk, she can't help it. She just has no idea that it is bad to have people even questioning her personal relationship with the other doctor because of her passiveness.

"I'm not mad at him," she finally spoke a few moments later, "It's just ..."

She needs another moment to find the right words to say. That she's not over him yet, and his presence is making it more difficult for her to get over him. But how does she say this?

"Look, I don't know what your story is, but you guys were a thing back then. When you decided to date him, you must have thought about all the worst scenarios that might happen when it didn't work. Especially when you work together, you know it might have an impact on your relationship at the workplace. Don't you think it's time to figure out what to do about it? "

Yeonhee looks up to give him another glance. What can she say about it? She has nothing. Because no, when she decided to date Yixing, she actually thought that they were going to last forever. Because they've been together since they were kid, and she thought it was just the sign that it's going to work. She never thought that it turns out to be like this. She never thought that after two years passed her relationship still matters to her, even now. She's just not over the fact that she didn't come as first priority in Yixing's life, and that what hurts her the most.

But she can't say that bluntly. With Yixing, every word may come out like an open faucet.