Yeonhee never really finds anything hard to achieve. She means it like, yes, she works hard to be who she is right now, but it's not like it's a difficult thing to do. She never failed any test, she never takes extra hours to study just because she needs to catch up with things that she's left behind. All the hours that she took for studying is because she likes it, she loves to study, she loves to read, she loves to learn something new, but never because she has to. To think about it again, everything comes easy for her. She naturally talented and fast learner. When it comes to the skills that she needs to have, or the things that she has to be good at to be a doctor, she finds herself mastering it at her second or third try.

She herself finds it boring sometimes, that she seems not to have many struggles in life. Though Yixing said that it's a convenience since it saves a lot of her time to actually doing more important things, like taking a rest while she could instead of studying. So yeah, she can say that she almost always has it easy. Almost, because she has to admit that there are two things that she finds difficult and almost impossible to do in this world. The first one is unraveling Sehun's inner thoughts, and the other one, it's to find that someone new Yixing has suggested her to do.

After almost a week scanning the whole surgical floor, she still gets no one she likes, that she's even wondering if that person even exists. And Yeonhee blames Sehun for this, because Sehun is a high-quality individual, and her crush over him has had her unconsciously set this same high standard that she finds no-one in the hospital can actually match him. Not to mention that Yixing has proven himself as useless for being her advisor, his positivity into seeing someone's character is so poor that he has only one word to define a person every time Yeonhee asks for his opinion, and it's 'good'.

And it's always the same "I think he's good," or "Yeah, he's a good person," with his typical nonchalant tone like he's not even so invested in it. Yeonhee stops asking at the fifth day, and let nature decide if she will ever find that guy eventually. It doesn't help that she'd been so busy with her shift in trauma. With the winter comes with its frequent snow rain, the rate of the accident increases by default. She's paged 40-50 times from the ED during the day, and she's going back and forth evaluating and working up the patients, sending them to surgery, or even doing the surgery herself with the attending or the fellow. Her fifteen-hours shift is always prolonged for another one or two hours since she only has the time to work on the notes and orders for the patient's chart after her shift over, the only good thing about this is the fact that she's not alone. Yixing is just as busy as her, they get to do the job together while having their late dinner in the locker room. So, well, it's been a really hectic week, so it's just impossible for her to even think about having a boyfriend. Yeonhee actually starts thinking to redo the setting of her priority all over again.

Friday morning starts much earlier, apparently. She just walks into the ED while having her morning smoothies share with Yixing when this man comes in a hurry carrying a child with blood all over his head. Apparently he has hit him with his van unpurposed in his way going to work. The ten-year-old kid has a couple of big lacerations over the scalp down to the skull, about 1cm deep and 12-14 cm long and flips up about 4-7 inches. So yes, she's looking directly at his skull. Yeonhee doesn't want to be rude, but she really can't stop smiling for the first hour while working up the kid, finding herself to actually have this kid's skull for breakfast. He's lucky though, after doing all the test, she finds no head bleed on CT, no spine fractures, no abdomen bleed, no other issues, except for the large scalp and several facial lacerations. So, Yeonhee spends another hour with him to suture and staple him up with Yixing, only because he's good at diverting the kid's attention to not moving too much by talking about pandas.

And she just finished her last suture when they're informed of incoming trauma in five minutes. And despite the bustle of the job, this probably another one that she likes about Trauma; it is the fact that she can meet new cases and new patients every day. They're kinds of shorted by the number of doctors today, because it's just a few days before Christmas and the senior residents are, like, taking their leave already since most of them come from outside Seoul. Interns, on the other hand, have no holidays, and Yeonhee never bothers to ask why. So it's only both she and Yixing, with a couple of second and third-year residents who are going to take their leave right before the C-day, and Dr. Kim who's on the shift today.

Yeonhee immediately approaches the attending when she hears he calls her name. They go to see a man, who has cut three of his fingers with a kitchen knife after grabbing it and planting it tip-down so that it’d stand up on the chopping board. Yeonhee tries so hard not to frown or scrunch her nose to see the mess. One of the patient's fingers looks pale and they're concerned about the blood supply to it, so Dr. Kim orders the nurse to take him to the operating theatre without further ado.

"Have you tried doing micro-surgery in cardio?" Dr. Kim asks when they're discussing the plan that they're going to have for the patient.

"Oh Sehun let me do the artery grafting at his last CABG,"

"Cool, are you good at it?" he asks again,

"Humm. Yixing is definitely better doing it,"

Her answer seems to get his attention because he doesn't give her merely a glance again, but stops his step to turn and face her to say, "I'm not talking about Yixing here, what about you? Are you good at it?"

A bit dumbfounded with the remark, Yeonhee needs a little more time to answer the question. Is she good at it? Hell, yeah, she's good at everything, she supposes. But she has no idea if people see it differently.

"Um, I think I am." 

"Alright. That man needs some reconstruction today, do you want to try it?"

"Are you sure, Doctor?" she probes, almost finding it hard to believe that her attending just offers her to do a nerve & blood vessel reconstruction over a patient when she only has one-time experience before. It's really risky, to be honest, because the intern is supposed to only assist in such surgeries.

"Only if you believe you can do this."

And Yeonhee won't let the chance slip away from her, so she bobs her head eagerly, "Yes, of course I do." she says before her attending tells her to scrub in.

They're talking more about the patient when they're washing their hands; the patient is a manual laborer and the one injured is his dominant hand. The additional information makes her nervous all of a sudden—despite Dr. Kim's claim that he doesn't mean to give her any pressure. For a couple of minutes, she tries to collect the pieces of her confidence to actually do this. She can't make a mistake, because a man's future is in her hands now. It will be good if Sehun is here right now because she can use one or two of his supporting words, they used to always calm her down in the past. But he's not here, and she can't buy more time just to look for him and get the support that she needs because the surgery is about to begin. So, for the first time in her life, she decides that she only needs her and her own self to get through this.

They use a low-powered microscope to suture blood vessels and repair the patient's fingers. Dr. Kim lets her do most of it while he sits right next to her watching her work from the big screen that is placed near the table while he guides her what she needs to do in detail. Yeonhee is so focused on the tiny vessels right before her eyes, that they feel sore as she looks down the microscope to assess the fine structures in the man’s hand.

"Next time a senior resident or an attending asks about your capability, don't hesitate to promote yourself. It's a good thing for showing your support to your friend, but there's a time when you need to prioritize yourself over someone else when it comes to skill. You're learning here, and we only choose the best one. If you fail to show us that, no matter how competent you are, you need to step aside and give the chair to one who gets the spotlight the most." she hears Dr. Kim utters his concern in the middle of the surgery, "Do you understand me or not?"

She looks up from the microscope to meet his eyes and nods her head, "I'll keep that in mind, Doctor."

"I only say this because you seem to have the potential for Trauma." she looks up again to give him a glance before letting him continue his words, "I'm fully aware that you're Dr. Kim Heejin's daughter, and everyone expects you to follow after her legacy, but you know, if you ever put your interest into this specialty, I'll be glad to teach you."

Yeonhee doesn't know what to say to react to this. She's happy of course, that somebody—her attending, recognizes her potential as a doctor. But one thing that makes her curious, is that she can't see whether he's being genuine, or whether this is just a mere sweet-talk as others tell her just to have her pleasure. She needs to find out because she might have a high possibility to show this specialty her interest.

She looks up for the third time to meet his eyes again, pause for a second from her work to say her mind,

"I'm sorry, Doctor, I don't mean to be rude. But can you tell me why you think so? That I have the potential to be in Trauma?" she remarks.

She expects that the answer will need some moments to be heard, she doesn't expect that Dr. Kim will answer it immediately, right after she gives him the question,

"You know in trauma, we work under the severe time constraints. We have to deal with psychological pressures and lack of sleep and work in a high-stress and unpredictable environment. We need someone with excellent manual dexterity, hand-eye coordination, and the ability to focus on a single task for long periods of time. And for some reason, I see that in you." he tells her in all truthness without a pause, "I saw how you did when you resuscitated that woman on your first day here, and I think you have a strong analytical, leadership, and decision-making skills. And for several days working up with the patients, I see that you have the ability to remain calm and focused under pressure. It's just what we need the most in Trauma. Do you need me to actually describe it a long way?"

She chuckles to that, but she shakes her head then to reply to him before getting back to the work under the microscope.

"Thank you, Doctor," she voices her mind again several moments later, she looks up to smile at him, though she knows he can't see it, "For thinking so highly of me."

Dr. Kim might not know about this, but she really appreciates his thinking. She needs this the most right now, especially when she's trying to find out what she actually wants to do. She's used of people praising her for everything that she does, that she's skilfull, that she's great at doing her job, that she looks after her mother. But those people never know that it's only the last part that gets into her heart the most, that she's only a shadow behind her mother's name. That people only say that because she's her mother's daughter. 

Now that she hears that from Dr. Kim, who seems to say this personally the way he sees her. She feels happy that she's worth her effort to be here. That she's just not great because of her late old woman, but because of her own